Thanks to CaFanel for commenting. You made my night :)
Chapter 10
Howl sucked at singing.
It was literally his own worst enemy when it came to his voice. He had been young and in a Fire Nation choir class with the other children. His mother had a beautiful voice that had sounded like tinkling bells when she lulled him to sleep. And his father had a deep baritone when he came into the dining hall in the morning, humming an old tune and kissing his mother on the cheek before placing his own White Lotus helmet on Howl's tiny head. Howl had thought that he could be like his father with a deep voice, but it had come out as an awkward squeak.
The other children had laughed at him; even the teacher had sniggered. He'd felt his confidence shrink to the very bottom of his mind. After that he had been claimed 'Squeak', even by the people he had thought were his friends. His mother would try to sing her lullabies but they always ended in his tears. The happy memories of his father's hums were wrenched away when he couldn't even stand the sound of music. He'd failed the choir class in fear that he would squeak again and had taken up an extra Language class.
There he discovered books and loved them. At first, it was history. Novels about actual events that took place in the past interested him. Then it moved on to plain fiction; the Blue Spirit, supposed sun benders, a spirit world. And, his most recent, romance novels. He didn't even remember how he'd gotten into them, but it had something to do with a girl in his History class, with long black hair that pinned down her back in intricate braids. He didn't remember her name, now.
Because Korra invaded his mind and seeped through every little crack like a fireleaf vine on the fence railing in his home. When he wasn't working, she begged him to sneak out (which he did) and when he was, she begged him to read to her (which he would). He didn't know why she enjoyed him reading to her; she never could quite sit down and study the books with as much fervor as he could. Sometimes, when Korra was busy and he wasn't, he imagined himself in one of the romance novels. He as the main character and her as the damsel in distress and needing rescuing from her cursed stepfather who kept her trapped in a tower.
He had too much of an imagination.
Since her birthday, though, Howl noticed that Korra would curl up in a corner with one certain book that he could never read the title with. In the cafeteria, she had it tucked under her arm when they greeted each other in the mornings. When he stole glances her way during his meal, he noticed she was either reading it or talking to Katara and pointing something out in that same book. His curiosity raced like a wildfire in his brain.
He had tried to snatch the book from her pocket, but she caught on quickly and stopped bringing it with her when she knew she was going to visit him. He gave it to her that she was smart, but also kicked himself because he knew he wasn't sneaky enough. She would go on and on about training and stuff and he would irk in agony because he didn't know what she was reading or why.
"Hey Howl." Korra said. His head jerked up and his eyes readjusted in the sunset. "I need to get out of here for a few hours. When do you get off?" Well, wasn't she being blunt today.
Howl's brow rose. "Seven." He knew better to pry and watched as she let out a sigh and leaned against the tower wall. Her head was lowered and she kicked at the snowy floor, her eyes squinting. Howl put his book on the table and crossed his arms, raising both eyes expectantly. It wasn't the most obvious way of asking her what was up, but it was the kindest. "Korra?"
Immediately, she complied. "I can't get in touch with my spiritual side." She grumbled, wrapping her arms tightly around her body. Howl's heart softened as the only vulnerable of Korra decided to show its face. The sign of weakness was so rare that he swore he couldn't hide his shock. "The leaders said I should take a break from training and try to meditate or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening."
Howl knew what being an Avatar meant and all, but this was Korra. She was strong but risky. She threw caution to the icy Southern wind and was as stubborn as a hippo-cow. She didn't have a spiritual bone in her body. But somewhere, deep inside of her, was a spiritual cell of some sort that screamed Meditate, curse you! And was ignored by all of the other cells. He smiled weakly. "Is that what's been bothering you?"
She nodded so slowly that he could see the pain hidden in the accidental gesture. Howl didn't want to hurt her, especially now, when she was almost dying inside. Those stupid White Leaders had put so much pressure on her that he wondered if being the Avatar was really even worth it. Still, he checked the son as it fell below the horizon and turned to Korra. "Come on. You can tell me about it when we get to wherever we're going."
It took about ten minutes to saddle Naga and get into the tundra. The mass of empty land never ceased to amaze him as he wrapped his arms around her waist subconsciously. When he realized what he was doing, he hesitated. Either he could move away and be questioned, or he could remain the way he was and feel awkward about it the entire night. He chose the latter; he didn't want to hurt Korra anymore than she had already been today. So they rode, fast, to where Korra's only safe haven was. By the time they reached it, Korra had grown silent.
He saw just how hurt she was when she didn't even let Naga into her cave. The polar bear-dog barked and spotted something before running off. At least the dog could be entertained by the simplest things while Howl, unfortunately, had to deal with one angry and emotional female Avatar. He shoved his hands into his pockets and felt his way around for a book. Thankful he'd brought one, he crawled into the cave after her as she furiously threw a fireball from her hands and onto a pile of wood. He bit his lip, watching her curl up in the corner.
What was he supposed to do without making it more awkward for the both of them? Silence hung heavy in the cave as he finally decided to go with it and sat next to her. If she wanted to talk, she could talk. Until then, he pulled out his newest romance novel and picked up to where he'd left off.
Korra blew it then. "Why can't they understand that it's not as easy as it seems?" She growled angrily, burying her face in her hands. Howl sighed and slowly, hesitantly, and nervously, placed his palm on her back. When she didn't react to it, he succumbed easier and started rubbing her back.
"What do they honestly expect you to do? Master all the elements and stop the world from killing itself? Do they think you're Aang?" The words came out wrong the moment he said them. Korra's head shot up and hurt was filling her eyes like water pooling in a blocked path. Howl's throat tightened. "He had to do that," He stuttered, trying so badly to recover. "I doubt he mastered the elements, I think he just got the idea of it and winged it when it came to fighting the Fire Lord." Smooth, Howl.
Thankfully, though, Korra's eyes had lost the hurt and had filled with confusion. "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one sentence." She whispered. Well, that was true. Howl quit rubbing her back; his hand had trailed up to her shoulders and begun to massage them. "Don't stop. It felt good." When he hesitated, Korra pressed her back against his massive hand and glanced up at him with confused eyes. "We're alone Howl. Nobody's going to care if you are massaging my back."
"Yeah, well, I'm going to care." He blurted. "What if I, like, do something to your muscle and it screws it up and you can never bend again? What then?" His pulled his hand away from her spine and shoved it into his pockets. Korra blinked at him briefly before both of them glanced away and fell into the silence again. Howl's mind crossed over the act of intimacy that he had been portraying before he noticed it. Korra's mind only screamed at him to beg for the massage again.
"You won't screw it up." She whispered, taking his gloved hand in hers. His gaze stayed firm on the rock wall encasing them. "I promise you that."
When he still didn't look at her, she ungloved her hand and used nimble fingers to turn his chin. His amber eyes glinted with the fire echoing towards them. Howl couldn't breathe; his body stiffened up from the sensual touch of her fingers so close to his mouth. He wanted so badly to just lean in and have that same adrenaline rush that he'd had the first time they'd kissed. But he was scared, scared of another week of rejection. He didn't want that ever again.
Korra noticed the conflict running through his head and sighed inwardly. The book about loving someone had said so many things, but they didn't tell her how to deal with a shy boy. Even Katara couldn't help her with that; she'd married Aang, the most boisterous airbender to live. She just wanted to feel that warmth he'd caused to surge through her when he'd first tried it. But it wouldn't. Now that he knew for sure that he wasn't going to die, she doubted he ever would kiss her again. She frowned slightly. So, once more, it was up to her.
"Howl…." She whispered, pressing her forehead to his. This felt so weird, so… almost natural, in a sort of way. Like she should have known what to feel, but couldn't. Howl's forehead slowly released pressure so that their noses touched. He was catching on! It was working! Her body filled with excitement, her stomach flip-flopping as the tips of their cold noses connected so slightly that she almost flinched in realization how this was about to happen. Slowly, slowly, her lips parted as he lifted his hand and touched the soft of her cheek. Here it comes….
Suddenly, Naga's playful barking caused the two of them to fly apart. Howl hit the roof of the cave with his head and was thankful that he'd worn his helmet. They'd been so close to kissing that it wasn't even funny, and his hands were nearly shaking. Korra looked star struck, her eyes wider than yuans. The white fluffy dog tried to crawl into the cave but froze when she saw the fire. She whimpered and sneezed, making the flames vanish in thin air.
The two of them stared at it for a minute before they broke into laughter. Howl glanced at Korra and smiled wider when he saw her face wrought in happiness. He was so hoping that the emotion would stay.
It was a long while later; night had fallen long ago. Korra was partially asleep, her eyes drooping softly. Howl was reading silently, his helmet and breastplate having been shed long ago. Naga blocked the entrance with her furry backside, the only wind sneaking in from the hole in the roof she used for smoke. Howl shifted slightly, bringing her attention back to him. Even he looked tired as sat up and scooted closer to him.
If he noticed her, he didn't say anything. She laid her head on his shoulder, yawning until her mouth formed a wide 'O'. "I'm sleepy, Howl. Will you sing me a lullaby?"
Howl froze at her request. He sucked at singing. He was Squeak. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of her… that might crush him to death. Her blue eyes looked up at him expectantly and the first excuse that came to mind spilled from his mouth. "I-I don't know any."
"Then make one up."
Curse her. Howl hesitated and thought back to the lullaby his mother used to sing him. He still imagined her pretty, heart shaped face on a petite little body. Her voice like honey as she whispered her soft words into his ear, lulling him to sleep. Could he do that for her?
Yes. He had to. It was Korra, for Spirit's sakes. He sighed and put his lips to her ear. He felt her shiver when he exhaled. His chest tightened. "Leaves from the vine," He started, the lullaby ringing so clear in his head. The same song his mother used to sing. "Falling so slow. Like fragile, tiny shells, drifting in the foam."
Korra's heart tightened at the tune that Katara casually hummed. How did he know it? How had he known the dearest one to her heart? His voice was such a deep baritone that it hurt her in the chest when she felt him singing it. Even though his words were barely a whisper, she felt like he was screaming them. She tried not to harmonize the next part, afraid she would mess up his beautiful voice. "Little Soldier Boy… come marching home," She held back the weakest of whimpers, pressing her ear closer to his lips. "Brave Soldier Boy… comes marching home."
Her heart exploded in sadness.
Howl sang beautifully.
