Alanna sighed as she shuffled through yet another stack of papers on her desk. She hated the afternoons when she was stuck inside sorting out supplies and accounts, instead of outside doing something useful. Suddenly she heard light running footsteps and the excited voices of what were unmistakably her four-year old twins go past her door.

"I bet I can throw it further than you."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can. Hayden from the village says boys can always throw better than girls."

"Hayden's a dolt with a head full of sackcloth."

"I'll tell Mama on you. Mama doesn't like people saying bad things about the villagers, and you'll get in trouble."

"You'll get in more trouble! Mama doesn't like people saying bad things about girls."

"…Hey…If you poke your tongue out at me again I'll cut it off!"

"No you won't. You're just stealing what Da says. I bet you don't even have a knife."

There was a slight pause, followed by a quiet muffled thud. "Missed me!" cried Aly triumphantly.

The sound of another muffled sound came, followed by an "Ow!" from Alan.

"Give it back," demanded Aly.

"No," retorted Alan. "You threw it at me, so it's mine now."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Then I'm keeping the one you threw at me."

"No, that's mine."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"It's not even yours in the first place. You stole it."

"You stole that one."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

Alanna sighed and made her way over to the doorway. "What," she asked "have you two been doing now?"

The twins turned and gulped, backing up against the far wall of the corridor with their hands behind their backs. "Nothing," they chorused.

"Why aren't you in the nursery?" They both remained silent; Alan looking at his feet, while Aly defiantly stared at her mother. Alanna raised an eyebrow. "You said you were stealing. What have you got?"

"Nothing," repeated Aly, as Alan said "But we didn't steal them Ma, we found them." Aly's elbow dug into her brother's side.

"Stop it, you two," snapped Alanna as Alan retaliated by elbowing her back. "Hand them over, whatever they are." Neither of them moved. "I said," growled Alanna as she took a step closer "to hand them over." The twins both gulped, knowing what was coming. "Now!" Alanna snapped. They each stepped forward and hurriedly thrust a small object into Alanna's hand, before staring wide-eyed at her to see her reaction. Alanna straightened, looking at the objects. It took her a moment to see what they were: they were shriveled with dark red splotches along one edge, and – she let out a loud shriek and dropped them as she swore. "Ears! Are the two of you insane?! What on earth do you think you're doing with your father's ears?!"

Alan gaped at the small objects on the ground. "Da lost his ears?" he asked in a small voice.

Aly frowned. "But there were lots of them in the chest…"

Alanna ignored them both, and swore under her breath. "Don't you know the health risks? Think of all the diseases you could have contracted just from touching those half rotted things." She wiped her hands on the back of her breeches and grabbed each of them by the elbow. She towed them down the 

corridor, ignoring their cries of protest, and berating them all the way, until they reached the bathroom. Setting them down, she filled the basin and stood back. "Scrub," she ordered. They looked at each other and quickly grabbed a stool each, standing on it and reaching for a scrubbing brush and soap. Alanna continued to scold and lecture them on everything from snooping around where they shouldn't to all the terrible diseases that they could end up with, alternately scrubbing each of their small hands until they turned red, ignoring their complaints at her aggression.

"What's all this commotion about then?" asked George from the doorway when Alanna paused for breath.

"Da!" said Aly, running over to him and clinging to his leg. She opened her eyes wide and let them fill up with unshed tears. "Mama's being mean to us."

George looked again at his son, whose wrist was still in the firm grip of his furious wife. His eyes were twinkling. "Surely not," he said. "What have you ragamuffins been up to?"

Aly gave a little sniff and batted her eyelashes at him. "We were just playing, Da."

"Playing?" sputtered Alanna. "Playing?!" George found her violet glare directed at him. "They found your collection," she accused.

"Oh." He raised his eyebrows at the children. "You two go back to the nursery right now, I want to talk to your ma."

Alan scuttled over to the doorway as soon as Alanna released him. Aly hesitated, still clinging to George's leg and looking the picture of misery and woe. George pried her fingers off. "Go on, scram," he said as he ruffled her hair. "And you two had better get straight to the nursery, or I'll unleash the full extent of your mother's fury on you."

They hurriedly disappeared out of sight as George shut the door behind them.

Alanna paused and looked at the ground, before frowning at him. "Before you start telling me what a terrible mother I am, she only started that whole act as soon as she saw you."

George grinned at her. "Didn't believe her for a second – I'd been standing in that doorway for a couple of minutes already."

There was silence as they each waited for the other to talk – George sure that he was going to get the blame for allowing the ears to be found, and Alanna sure that he was going to scold her for overreacting.

Alanna looked up at him as the tension became unbearable. "I was just afraid for them," she said, her voice small.

George could see the worry in her eyes and opened his arms to her. She took a few steps forward, wrapping her arms around his middle and burying her face against his chest, allowing him to rub her back gently. "I just got so scared for them as soon as I saw those ears, and… my mind was suddenly flooded with all the diseases I knew came from dead bodies, and I thought 'what if they got sick when I wasn't here and couldn't do anything about it' and…" she trailed off and swallowed hard.

"It's okay lass," he told her. "It's best that they learn these lessons young anyway. Now hopefully they'll think twice when they want to go snooping." When she gave no reply, he continued. "Speaking of snooping, I'll get those ears back, and I'll move the chest to a safer place. Quite honestly, lass, I didn't think they'd find it down in the cellars."

Alanna's head shot up, a horrified expression on her face. "The cellars, George?! With all the food – what were you thinking? We've had countless guests dining here, including Jon and Thayet with the children! You could have poisoned the entire Royal Family!"

"Calm down, lass. It was in one of the rooms off the cellars, away from the food storage. I'll lock them down in the dungeons now." He gave her back one last rub. "Don't you go worrying yourself about them – kids will be kids. Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about it?"

She shook her head and stepped back, right as a loud crash sounded in the distance. Both their heads turned instantly in the direction of the noise.

"Oooooh, you're gonna be in trouble now, Aly," came a small voice.



"It wasn't me! That was your fault!"

"No, it wasn't! I didn't even touch it!"

"I'll tell them you did! Mama'll geld you."

George and Alanna looked at each other surprised, before bursting into laughter.

"Where on earth did she get that from?" asked Alanna.

George's hazel eyes were dancing. "You're planning on gelding your four year old son?" he teased. "Now that's what I would call being a terrible ma."

"I suppose I must have threatened you with that sometime…" mused Alanna.

George grinned at her. "I do remember threatening to unleash your fury on them if they caused any more trouble. And whatever that was crashing sounds to me like the very definition of trouble."

Alanna snorted. "No, the twins themselves are the very definition of trouble."

"No, one twin is trouble. Both of them is double trouble."

Alanna groaned. "Don't remind me. Maybe I should have gelded you." She grinned at him.

George put on a look of mock hurt. "How is it my fault that they just happened to take after their ma?"

"Hmph." Alanna hit him playfully on the arm before grabbing his hand and towing him in the direction of the commotion. "I'm not trouble, and don't think I'll forget to pay you back for that later."