chapter nine

Paper Cutouts

[/]{INTERLUDE-THE GRAVE ROBBER}[\]

The grave robber read the note for what must have been the thousandth time, leaning against the rough brick walls of somebody's house in Castle Town. The note was written in surprisingly poorly formed modern Hylian, the kind of handwriting one would expect from a child just learning how to read and write- which didn't fit with the legend of Mudora, the ancient Sage from millennia past.

I know who you are, and where you are. As you read this for the first time, you are underneath the Kakariko Graveyard, holding my book. Where I am writing this, there is no Kakariko Graveyard; no Kakariko Village, for that matter. There is no Castle Town, no Gerudo Desert, no Zora city of Jabuzor...none of the places that you are familiar with have been created yet. Where I am, Hylians are not yet Hylians, and Zora do not even exist yet. And yet, I know the land that will come to be called Hyrule. I know its legend that has not even begun yet. And you play a vital role in the battle that will not begin for several years. You will need to be ready.

First, you must copy down the first half of this book, the half that documents the history and language of Ancient Hylian. Take care to not copy down any of the second half, the half written in my own handwriting. Do not allow the copy to be damaged. When it is complete, guard it carefully until the end of winter. During this time, you will meet a boy who will not know you, and you will not know him. Give him the book, and do not take the book back from him no matter the circumstances.

Secondly, and you will have to trust me on this one, you will have to acknowledge your heritage. Your bloodline contains a special power that will be vital to the success of justice in the coming battle; however, it is difficult to unlock. The one way to reveal this power is to first die. While this may shock you, I need you to trust me- for this one time only, dying will not work. You will return to life as healthy as you were before, with the added powers of your bloodline behind you. I get that this is a scary concept, but as someone who has been there and done that, it cannot harm you beyond perhaps a few stray dreams. I urge you to go ahead with this, as without your aid the Hero of Time has no chance at all of succeeding in his quest.

My best wishes, and good luck.

-Mudora.

P.S. Crap, I forgot to mention this- travel out to the lower edges of the Gerudo Desert, near the border of Eldin Province. Look for the statue of a bearded man with a sword, and recite the chant located on page three of this book. You will find an interesting treasure inside the cavern that the villagers of Kakariko will be very pleased to receive. You will also get a ton of Rupees, and that's always a good motivator.

P.P.S. You better not skip any of this book. I spent ages writing this for you. If you skip it I will not be impressed. AND I WILL KNOW.

P.P.P.S. And watch out for the princess. She's going to try and blow your head off when you first meet.

She shook her head in disbelief. The more she read the letter, the more ridiculous it seemed- especially the first post-script. She was still stuck on the image of the wise, ancient bearded sage saying 'crap'. It was one thing to have knowledge of future events- quite another to comfortably use current vernacular like that. She had no doubt that the letter was referring to her- aside from the fact it had her name at the top, it very clearly used the names of places she had robbed in the past. How in the world did he find out about the disaster that was the Jabuzor robbery? Robbing the capital of the Zora Domain was her favourite campfire story, but she highly doubted she had somehow told the ancient sage about it. She chewed her lip. She was especially worried about his request for her to get herself killed! Sure, he seemed sure as hell that she wouldn't die permanently, but the grave robber wasn't as trusting. He knew about past events accurately, but she had no reason to believe his knowledge of the future was as accurate.

She chewed her lip. Maybe there was a way to figure out whether or not Mudora actually knew what he was talking about. He'd warned against the princess 'blowing her head off' when they first met.

So why not go meet the princess?

[/]{END OF INTERLUDE}[\]

"You… you can get up now," a tentative voice wakes me from my sleep. "Mila's finished painting you,"

I crack open an eye and squint. Epheremelda and Navi are fluttering next to Mila, who's holding up a painting. A painting of...me. Curled up on my bed. With...Saria?

I twist my head to look over my shoulder. At some stage during the night Saria must have snuck in, and she's now looped around me like a freaking cape. Zelda's curled down the end of the bed like an oversized cat, still sleeping peacefully with Kiri curled up in her hair. I go to sit up but think better of it, relaxing into Saria's limpet hug.

"Go away, Mila," I yawn good-naturedly, choosing to just act like last night's mess never happened. She pouts.

"I'll leave the painting on the table," she says. I squint at the green light of Epheremelda.

"How come you're here?" I ask her tiredly. She shrugs.

"Timi asked me to come check in on you,"

"Why couldn't he come himself?"

She winces. "He figured after last night you probably didn't want to see him,"

I debate getting up and apologising to Timi, but that would wake up Saria and Zelda. And, admittedly, me. I offer a guilty look.

"I'd apologise myself, but I don't want to wake up these two," I say. "Can you tell him I'm not mad at him?"

She brightens. "Sure!"

She zips out of the house and I yawn, cuddling back into Saria's hug. She practically radiates heat, repelling the slight chill that signals the imminent winter. I groan as I realise that we'll have to get back to work in the gardens soon, to prepare them for the cold weather. I wonder how Zelda's going to handle that. She has super-soft hands, I doubt she's ever gardened before in her life. That'll be a fun shock for her.

Sleep is dragging at my eyes, and I stifle a yawn. When was the last time I slept so well? I have no idea. I give in to the urge and let myself fall back into a restless sleep.

Sunlight streams through enormous windows painted with epic designs of legendary battles, images that I can't quite focus on no matter how hard I squint. A trickle of fear slides into my stomach. Why can't I see? I lift my hands anxiously; flesh coloured blurs have replaced them, and I don't like it. I try to figure as much of my surroundings out as I can, crouching and placing my hands on the floor. It feels like cold, smooth stone, but by the dazzling light reflected off it I can guess it's marble. I straighten again, hands out to stop me walking into things. Good thing, too; I almost clothesline myself walking straight into what I think is a candelabra; and then I smack my kneecaps on a pew. I guess I'm in some sort of temple, or church- I don't think a pew is common anywhere else. I've only ever seen them in the Forest Temple, although technically I'm not supposed to go in there. I'm not supposed to go a lot of places, but I go anyway.

Locating a clear path, I cautiously wander forwards until I bump into what I guess is an altar, and steady myself on its surface. I feel nauseous; the blurry sight I'm stuck with is driving me up the wall. I run my hands over the altar; three objects click under my hands, like glass. Blurs of red and green and blue. I carefully move around the altar, nearly tripping up a set of stairs I didn't know were there. Practically crawling up them, I stumble into a square opening in the back wall. I wander inward, bumping into something cold and yet warm at the same time that's sticking up out of the ground. I try to touch it, to figure out what it is, but for some reason my hands go straight through it. Frustrated, I turn to leave, looking back at the objects scattered on the altar. There's a cracking noise and suddenly something is very very wrong, and I don't know what it is but it's wrong, so wrong, and I don't know if it hurts or if I'm sick or if I can hear something or feel something and I don't know what it is, and somebody is screaming and it's not me and my vision goes even more and I squeeze my eyes shut and pray for it to end and open my eyes to see-

Navi, right up against my face, smacking my cheek over and over trying to wake me up. I clench my eyes shut again, a beast of a headache accompanying the sudden switch back to focused vision. Evidently it was a dream- but Din, that was the worst dream I've ever had! And I know my bad dreams! I clamp my jaw shut to stop the whinge that wants to come out. Navi, Saria and Zelda are all staring at me like I've sprouted antlers or something.

"Hylia, Link," says Zelda shakily, "what the hell was that?"

I huff, sitting up and suppressing a groan. Navi hugs my nose, and I look at her with crossed eyes. Her short hair is sticking in every direction, as if she's spent the last ten minutes flying repeatedly into a wall. The look doesn't suit her.

"Just a bad dream," I brush it off. Both girls raise an eyebrow.

"They're not normally that bad," Saria murmurs. "I mean, you might make a bit of noise, but I've never seen you thrash like that,"

I blink, swiping sleep-grit out of my eyes, and nearly yelp when I see the bruise already forming on Saria's cheekbone.

"Gah! What did I do?"

She rubs it. "It's okay, you didn't know. I was standing a bit too close and you whacked me in the face,"

"I'm so sorry," I say guiltily. "Can we heal that?"

"Not worth it," says Saria before Zelda can even respond. "Seriously, don't waste the wing dust. It'll clear up by itself."

"Besides," Zelda snorts, "you've got your own bruise troubles,"

"What?" I ask immediately, sitting bolt upright. Zelda laughs, grabbing my hand-mirror from my bedside table and handing it to me. I look at my reflection with a slight sense of horror; I relax immediately when I see the damage.

"Oh, please. That's not that bad. You had me thinking my whole face was a giant bruise,"

The left side of my face, from just below my cheekbone up to my forehead, is a dappled purple-yellow colour. I can only assume that's from meeting the wall up close and personal at Gohma's hands (legs?) yesterday.

"Not bad?" Zelda says in disbelief. Saria shrugs.

"Eh, compared to his usual. He has a monumental ability to get himself hurt. It's quite remarkable,"

"Not a good thing," Navi reminds us. I glare at her and she shuts up.

"Has the day's gardening started yet?" I ask Saria, and she shakes her head.

"No, everyone's having breakfast. They stayed up pretty late last night."

"Ah, man," I say, swiping a hand down my face. "Navi, can you help me make breakfast?"

"Nah, no need," the fairy says happily, clearly glad to avoid the ordeal. "Timi left stuff. I haven't opened it yet, though,"

I blink. "Timi?"

Navi rolls her eyes. "No, it was the other tiny redhead,"

I blink again. "Mido?"

She shakes her head with a snort. "I should be careful with my sarcasm. No, it was definitely Timi."

"I didn't know Timi could cook," remarks Saria.

"I wouldn't have thought you guys could cook at all. What do you do it with?" Zelda asks. "I mean, you clearly don't use fire, if you got up me so much for a little candle-finger,"

Saria shrugs. "Most of our dishes don't need cooking, but if they do we've come up with a clever little method involving sun-heating rocks and using them as a little stove,"

Zelda looks impressed. "That's genius,"

I stand up, first glancing at the table- empty- before peeking outside the door. A small wicker basket is sitting there, a blanket tucked protectively over the top, with a little piece of parchment.

I thought you would appreciate this, the note read. The closest to a 'sorry' Timi gets when he's not hopped up on honey. I wince. He has nothing to be sorry for! He didn't do anything! I pick up the basket anyway, bringing it inside and putting it on the table, pulling off the blanket from the top. Three neatly arranged clay bowls with what looks like vegetable soup inside. I poke a finger into the bowl I intend to take; it's lukewarm, which means Timi can't have delivered it too long ago.

"Pull up a chair," I say. "I'll use the bedside table,"

Saria sits down in her chair, while Zelda drags hers back to the table from the window. I carefully lift each of the bowls, putting it down in front of them, and wander across to my bench, finding a few badly handmade spoons and bringing them back to the table before dragging the bedside table over and sitting on it. I really hope it's not going to give way under me.

I take a mouthful of the soup- it's actually not too bad. A bit sharp- I'm gonna guess he used a little too much ginger- but nice. I catch Saria's eye, and she's evidently thinking the same thing, because she smirks a little.

"It's not too bad," Zelda says in agreement. "Better than your cooking, Link,"

I blink. Okay, yeah, I suck at cooking, but she seemed happy enough eating it for the last few days. Eh, whatever. I concede the point with a nod.

"Guess you should go beg Timi for living space, eh?" I joke. Navi laughs.

"Have you seen Timi's house? I'm shocked there's room in there to move!"

"I didn't peg Timi for someone who's messy," Zelda frowns. Saria shakes her head.

"It's not messy," she says. "It's startlingly clean. It's just crammed with stuff he uses to keep himself occupied. He gets bored insanely easily. Went in there once. It's all sharp edges. You gotta watch out you don't cut your elbows on his latest project that will inevitably be unfinished,"

"That's kinda odd," remarks the blonde. "What kinds of projects does he do?"

"Nayru," Navi says. "Where to start? Pottery, painting, writing, glassblowing...uh, he does a load of other stuff but those are his favourite,"

"He's no good at painting," Saria reminds the fairy, who shrugs.

"He's getting there, according to Epheremelda,"

Zelda raises an accusingly pointed finger.

"Hold it! If you guys aren't allowed to use fire, how can he possibly be glassblowing? You need fire for that,"

I hesitate. "Certain Kokiri are given permission to use fire, as long as they do it in the Forest Stage, away from any roots or trees. It's easy down there to control it, and if it somehow got out of hand we could bring the whole cave down to put out the fire,"

"It's only him and a few others who're allowed to use fire, though," Saria says. "I've been considering applying, but I don't know what I'd do with it. The only thing I might use it for would be more effective cooking."

Zelda frowns.

"How do you even start the fires?"

"That's our job," Navi says. "If we concentrate our energy enough we can start a fire. We're not supposed to, though, not if we're not underground."

Zelda sighs, taking another thoughtful bite and swallowing it.

"It just seems like a restrictive system," she says. "I mean, fire is the pinnacle of civilisation. Metal, glass, most bricks, light sources… I don't get how you guys survive without it. It's pr-"

She bites off the end of the word abruptly, but Saria looks offended.

"I can guess what you were about to say," she says darkly, "and I can assure you, we are not primitive! At least Kokiri don't feel the need to massacre eachother every few years!"

"The only reason we get into wars is to protect basic rights," Zelda says diplomatically. "If someone wants to take our land or rights away from us, it is our duty to defend it. The goddesses gave this land to Hylians, and as Hylians we will keep it as our own,"

"So, what," Saria points out. "Kokiri shouldn't be in Hyrule then?"

Zelda pauses, biting her lip.

"Technically, no," she admits. "According to the history books, Kokiri were once isolated to Faron Province, and didn't step foot in Hyrule itself. But the forest has expanded over the years into Hyrule, and it's not like we can go to war against children,"

I frown. "I'd like to see your Hylians get past the Deku Scrubs," I say crossly. "They'd have you beaten down in seconds!"

"I'd hope not," Zelda says evenly. "The Hyrulean Army trains for years to be fit for combat. It would be a humiliation if they were ousted by wooden creatures less than a foot tall,"

"At which point you'd run into the fairies," Saria says, and I suddenly wonder how this became a war discussion. "Despite their size, their magic can be devastating, and because of their size they can get in close. A lot of the time, swinging weapons will actually just blow them out of the way because of the slipstream,"

"It wouldn't be too hard to scatter an army of glowing, tiny creatures," Zelda counters. "Magic aside. Most of our knights' armour is insulated against magic."

"And then you'd hit the Kokiri themselves," I remind her. "You really think we're not capable of defending ourselves? Try thinking that when you have a mattock in your eyeball. While your army dithers about hitting children, we're there with a whole host of lethal garden instruments to make your day a lot worse than it already was,"

Zelda pauses.

"Hmm. How many Kokiri are there?"

"You saw last night," Saria explains. "Times three, for the other two Kokiri villages that we could call on for help."

She bites her lip pensively. "I think that it'd be a tough fight, but the army's superior weapons and armour would help them through,"

There's a wicked grin on my face now.

"And if you did that, you'd better start praying. Because then you'd have the Great Deku Tree, the Maku Tree, and the Baga Tree to deal with."

"They're trees!" protests Zelda. "They can't do much!"

"Their roots extend all over the forest. They'd whip out of the ground below you and bludgeon you to death, and you'd have no way of defending yourself because it's just a tree,"

Zelda frowns even more.

"Wouldn't such large roots be unwieldy in the forest? They'd destroy most of the trees just hitting one soldier,"

"If you've already brought down the Kokiri," Saria says, "there isn't a single thing, living or dead, that could get in the way of the Deku Tree's wrath. You just killed five hundred of his own children. He is not going to hold back,"

I bite back a sudden voice that wants to say four hundred and ninety-nine of his own children. It'll be five hundred soon anyway.

Navi gives a nervous sort of laugh, interrupting our three-way argument.

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm," she says awkwardly, "maybe we should curb the violent discussion. We should probably go start the gardening soon,"

Zelda nods, a mildly worried look on her face. I bet she's trying to figure out if the Hyrulean Army actually could take the Kokiri forest. I bet they couldn't. Nobody could.

There's a few silent moments as we finish our soup.

Saria yawns. "Link, you take Timi's basket back," she says, breaking the silence. She stacks the surprisingly symmetrical bowls atop eachother. "You should probably wash them out, too. Manners."

"What're you two gonna do?" I ask.

"I'll set your bed, since I slept in it," she says. "Zelda can set hers."

"I probably need to fix my hair, too," Zelda says, picking up the handmirror and examining herself. "I get terrible bed hair,"

I snort.

"Invest in a hat," I tap mine, tugging it on. "Bed hair will never be a problem again,"

A/N: Hey guys! Responses so far have been kind of negligent...I mean, I've got the same duo of users reviewing, and they're the only ones that do. There's also been a lack of follows or favourites, even. Is it because people aren't reading? I'm honestly no good at reading those traffic charts (I only just realised I'd been reading them legitimately backwards) and I can't tell. If you're reading, please review! I'm not sure if this story is actually worth it, if only two people are reading. Well, three, including a certain 'Cat'...

I'm interested to hear your guesses as to who the grave robber is. Hint: she's a canon character!

Lord Darth Yoda:Ah, but then again, was Neri really wrong? Link did take a set of permanent tunnels that he easily could have found beforehand, knowing how frequently he gallivants off into the woods alone. Technically, Neri's not wrong. Although she is getting an extremely negative reaction, I feel. Whoopsadaisy! She wasn't meant to be so hated.

...And Zelda definitely went about it the wrong way. She's used to being all princess-y, where whatever she says is law. It doesn't look like she gets it yet, that she's not in charge here.

Ecenema: Hahahahaha! Look, everyone! She thinks I'm in charge of the outcome! ^_^" To be honest, that scene was nowhere in my planning and nowhere in the original. It sounds cliched, but the characters really do write themselves. It's also why I'm worried about the number of OCs in this fic- to me, they're all equal, canon and OC alike. They're all little people wandering around and doing things without my permission.

Link and Zelda's relationship will be built on a lot better this time, since I'm actually bothering with this foreign concept called character development. Since Zelda actually has a personality now, this should be easier. And it's cool to hear how excited you were! Can I get your thoughts on a certain librarian father character and his daughter from the original? I was worried endlessly that the mauling of the Remlits into...well, humanoid cats, was a bad idea. I considered them kind of the opposite of the canine Darknuts, but I'm not sure if everyone sees it that way.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!

18 September 2016