A/N - I didn't realise how bleak, dark and unsettling this was becoming to my readers. I'm trying to be as realistic as possible with this storyline and in those days, surgery was seen only as a last resort because of the high mortality rate. As to what happens to Victoria and Diego - as DietMJ said in her review of Katie1999's story "Prayers", there is always hope even in the worst conditions. (how's that for a teaser!)

To everyone who has lost limbs through accidents, war, disease or were born without a limb, I hope that I don't sound patronising in the coming chapters. I have no knowledge of the many adjustments you've had to make in your life, so I can only write what I think it might be like.

Chapter 10

Over the next day and a half, they took turns watching over her, praying that she would soon regain consciousness. Diego had begun reading to her from a book, from the Irene's small collection, hoping that she would hear his voice and find her way back to them. It wasn't until the near the evening of the second day, that Victoria finally stirred from her unconsciousness.

She heard a familiar and soothing voice and it made her feel safe somehow. But she also felt pain, too painful to bear and slipped back into the welcoming blackness.

Diego was reading to her when he noticed a slight movement of her fingers and a low moan escaped her lips. He laid the book aside, "Querida, it's all right, you're safe." he whispered, as he leant over and planted a soft kiss to her forehead, "I'm here for you querida." He sat back and picked up his book and continued reading aloud.

Several hours later Francisco entered the room, "How is she?" he asked, as he sat down on the chair opposite Diego.

"I think she is starting to come around..."

The blackness slowly turned to grey, as Victoria heard another familiar voice join the first one. She knew them somehow and she felt a wave of love for those voices and reached out to them.

Francisco noticed his sister's eyes flutter, "Victoria." he said.

They watched, as her eyes opened slightly, "Di…Dieg..o." she croaked.

He leant over, "I'm here querida. I'm right here." he squeezed her hand.

But she didn't hear him, as the blackness fell over her once more. The two men smiled at each other as they fought back tears of happiness. They both knew that she would recover from her wounds.

Many more hours later Victoria heard the voices again, felt the pull of them once more. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Diego reading aloud from a book he was holding.

"Di…Diego." she whispered, her throat dry.

His eyes flew to her face and smiled warmly, "Victoria, you're awake." he gently squeezed her hand, and she gave a weak squeeze back.

"Thi….thirsty." she whispered hoarsely.

"Of course." he turned to find that Irene was already holding out a glass of water. He smiled at her and turned his attention back to his lady. He gently raised her head, "Easy Victoria, take small sips." he advised.

She wanted to gulp down the refreshing water but he didn't let her, "What...happened?"

Diego paused slightly, "You were...injured"

Her eyes fluttered, as she tried to fight the weariness that came over her, "Inju...injured how?"

He placed his fingers gently against her lips, "Shhh, sleep querida."

"But..."

"Shhh...I'll be here when you wake again."

Victoria closed her eyes and fell into a deep healing sleep.

Diego sighed, "How are we going to tell her about...?"

"We'll tell her together Diego." Ramon replied quietly. He had arrived just that morning after learning what had happened and rushed back to Santa Barbara. He had been devastated at his sister's condition but what he felt more was guilt; he blamed himself for leaving his sister alone. If only he had stayed another day, just one more day and he would have been there to prevent this from happening. Never again would he leave her on her own, he promised himself.

"Si, Diego. We are all family here." Francisco added.

Diego just nodded.

Victoria slept deeply for another eight hours. When she woke again, it was morning and she was full aware of her surroundings, as she opened her eyes and saw her brother by her side, "Ramon." she whispered.

"Victoria," he smiled widely, "Welcome back. How are you?"

"Thirsty...hungry." she replied then she cried out, as a sharp stabbing pain surged through her shoulders and she closed her eyes against it.

"Easy Victoria, take a deep breath," he consoled her, as he gently raised her head, "That's good. Here." he said softly, as he helped his sister to drink some water.

Diego and Francisco rushed into her room.

"Victoria, you're awake," Francisco grinned at his youngest sibling, "You had us worried for awhile little sister."

Diego couldn't help but gaze at her with love, as he noticed that although she was still very pale, she was more alert and her eyes seemed brighter.

She slowly turned her head, grimacing at the pain that the movement caused to her neck and gazed, at the man she loved, "Diego." she gave him a tired smile.

"Victoria." he smiled back warmly as he sat down on the chair beside the bed.

"How long?" her voice croaked from disuse.

"About four, five days." he confirmed softly.

"Five days! What happened?" she wanted to know.

The three men glanced at each other.

"You were injured." Diego said carefully.

She frowned, she didn't remember being injured. "How?"

"What was the last thing you remember?" Francisco asked, as he pulled up a chair and sat beside Diego.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus, "I...a woman's scream," she shook her head, "I don't remember anything else."

Diego took a breath, "You helped a young woman from being assaulted by two men."

Her eyes widened, "I don't remember that but how..." She struggled to sit up, but again she cried out in pain, as she fell back into the pillows, tears burning her eyes.

"Easy Victoria, don't make any sudden moves." Ramon said, as Francisco reached for the small phial, which contained a single dosage of laudanum that the doctor had left for them in case it was required before his next visit.

Francisco handed it over to his brother, who then gently raised her head, "This is something for the pain."

Victoria drank the bitter potion and as Ramon lowered her head to the pillow, she closed her eyes against the pain.

It took several moments before she was able to recover enough to speak, "Please tell me what happened." her breathing was laboured, as she opened her eyes and looked at Diego.

Diego gazed into her eyes, "Victoria, you were shot in the arm."

"Is that why my arm and shoulder is sore and why I can't sit up." she assumed correctly.

Diego nodded, "Si, that's right."

She frowned, she had a feeling that he was hiding something from her, "What else Diego?"

He took a deep breath, "Victoria your arm was… too badly…damaged."

Victoria felt the blood drain from her face, "Tell me." she hissed through clenched teeth.

Francisco spoke up, "The doctor couldn't save your arm."

She grimaced in pain as she turned her head to look at her brother before Ramon finished with the devastating news, "The Doctor had to remove your right arm, in order to save your life."

She let out a gasp of disbelief, "I don't believe you, you must be mistaken."

Ramon gripped her left hand, "We wish we were but..."

"Don't you understand? I can feel my right hand," she began to panic, why would they lie to her? "There is something else that you're not telling me. Am I dying?"

Diego felt his heart break at her increasing panic, "Victoria please, there's nothing else. You're not dying, please believe me." he stated with conviction.

She stared into his blue eyes and calmed down somewhat, "Diego, please." she pleaded with him; hot tears welled in her eyes, "Is my right arm…?"

He nodded, "Si, the doctor had to remove your arm above the elbow." he confirmed quietly.

"I need to see." she bit her lower lip in an effort to hold back her tears.

Diego planted a soft kiss to her forehead before he pulled back the bedcovers to reveal her bandaged right arm, or what was left of it.

She gasped. "It can't be, it must be some sort of trick." she whispered, her mind couldn't take in the sight.

Diego fought back hot tears that threatened to run down his face.

She tried to raise her arm but she cried out, as a sharp pain travelled along her arm and up to her shoulders. She dropped her head once more onto the pillows and hoped that whatever the powder was, would work quickly to dull the pain.

"Diego, NO... it can't be, it can't be! I can feel my arm, I can feel my fingers." her voice rose, as panic threatened to overwhelm her once more.

He leant forward, "Victoria, what do you mean?"

"I can feel it Diego." hot tears flowed down her face.

He gently wiped her tears away, as Francisco spoke up, "How Victoria, how do you feel it?"

"I...I...can feel my fingers move...I don't understand." her voice rose even higher, as she saw the three men look worriedly at each other.

"Shhh querida, it will be all right. We will ask the doctor when he comes." he tried to re-assure her.

"All right gentlemen, it's time for you to leave." Irene ordered, as she came into the room.

The three men turned as one, with confused looks on their faces.

"Out, out. This is still a sick room and Victoria's needs have to be attended to." Her words sunk in and the three men had the grace to look embarrassed.

Diego moved to kiss her lips but Victoria turned her head away. He was surprised but dropped a kiss to her forehead instead, "I'll be back later querida."

Irene closed the door behind them, "Victoria, my dear. How are you?" she asked kindly.

Victoria lowered lip trembled, "I…I..." hot tears flowed down her face and her body shuddered, as the shock finally hit her.

Irene sat carefully on the bed and held Victoria's left hand, as the younger woman cried, "Its all right, Victoria let it go, let it all out." she whispered to the younger woman.

"What am I going to do? How can I live like this?" she wailed.

Irene tried to sooth her, "You have Diego to help you. He loves you very much."

"But...but he can't...help with...dressing or eating or...or with you know," she sobbed. "And what about...the tavern...how can I serve or cook?"

"Shhh Victoria, don't think about that now, there's plenty of time for that. Right now you need to build up your strength." Irene reached over and brushed Victoria's hair off her face, before she stood up and went to the small table and poured a glass of water from a jug.

She turned back to Victoria, "Here, drink this." she said kindly, as she eased the younger woman's head off the pillow.

Victoria drank the water, eager to ease the dryness in her throat.

Irene replaced the glass on the table, "Now, do you need to use the bedpan?"

Victoria blushed at her forthright question and nodded.

The doctor arrived after siesta and examined Victoria in private. When he emerged, he had a warm smile on his face, "Senorita Escalante is doing amazingly well, considering what she has gone through. I should be able to remove the stitches in another two days."

"Can Victoria move about?" Francisco asked.

He shook his head, "Not for a couple of more days and only then if she feels up to it. But take it slowly at first, her body is still recovering from the surgery. She will tire easily but that is normal and let her sleep as much as she can. When she is able, get her to sit in the sun, either near a window or even outside in a chair, for an hour or so a day, its warmth will help."

"When do you think she could travel?" Diego wanted to know.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Back to Los Angeles? Not for at least another two weeks. Even then, it should be by private wagon or carriage with cushions or blankets to support her. The movement of a public stagecoach maybe too jarring for her. I'll give you another phial of laudanum for tonight, if the pain becomes too much for her. I like to control the drug myself and only to hand out enough for immediate use," he shook his head and sighed. "There have been a number of cases where people have died from been given too much of it, whether by the doctor or by well meaning family members trying to ease the pain of their loved one."

Diego nodded, "Of course Doctor, we understand." he replied, as he glanced at the brothers, who nodded in agreement.

"How long will she have pain?" Francisco asked concernedly; he hated seeing his youngest sibling hurting so much.

"Definitely to the end of the week, but it should subside by the end of the next week, which is why I don't want her travelling to Los Angeles before then. I'll come by every day for the next week to see how she is going."

"Um...doctor...Did Victoria tell you about her being able to fell her arm and fingers?" Ramon asked.

He nodded, "Si she did. I'll tell you what I told the young lady. What she is feeling is normal. Many amputees have this strange feeling that they can feel their missing limb, some have a tingling sensation, while others state that their healed wound itches and yet there is no irritation of the skin."

Diego was intrigued by this information and wanted to learn more about it, "What causes it?"

The doctor shrugged, "No-one is really sure. Some physicians say that the brain still believes that the missing limb is still there," he paused and shook his head, "We know very little of how the brain works, perhaps someone in the future will know more but right now..."

Diego nodded as Francisco spoke up, "But will this...this sensation that she has, will it ever go away?"

Again the doctor shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not sure, it has been reported that the sensations do gradually go away, while others have the feelings for the rest of their life."