Cold As Ice – Chapter 10

Finn stepped out of the shower and tied the towel around his waist. He had both hands on either side of the sink and looked in the mirror. He felt strange being back in his old house. It was strange because his mom wasn't across the hall and the tv wasn't blaring from some game Burt would be watching. He missed that. Although Puck and Santana were making noise, yelling at the television downstairs, it still wasn't the same.

"Rach, do you want do go pick up something for dinner? Or we could order in." Finn said as he walked into his bedroom.

Rachel didn't respond. She was looking at a photo on the wall of Finn in high school. Several other kids were in the photo as well. She recognized Puck, and the girl she had learned to be Marley, Finn's ex, but the other faces she didn't know.

"That's my brother, Kurt." Finn said, standing behind her and pointing at the photo. He smiled, remembering that day. "That's Arty, Sam, Mercedes, Mike, Tina and Matt. They were all members of the glee club." Finn said and Rachel's jaw dropped.

"I had no idea you were in the glee club. I was too!" Rachel said excitedly. "You totally have to sing for me."

Finn laughed, "We'll see. Maybe some day."

Rachel wrapped her arms around his half naked body, "You look hot right now Mr. Hudson. The towel and muscle look really works for you." She said, wiggling her eyebrows in a flirty manor.

Finn smiled a genuine smile, the first one since the day they received the call about his mom. Rachel enjoyed the look on his face while it lasted. Although Finn's mind was worried about his mom, and the fact that both Rachel and Puck would be going through surgery, his body still reacted to Rachel's touch. He lowered his head, his lips capturing hers. A soft moan fell from her mouth and that only seemed to fuel the fire that was building inside of him. His hands moved to cup her breasts through her t-shirt and he kissed down her neck, hitting the spot he knew drove her wild.

Rachel was the one to pump the breaks, pressing against his chest. "Finn…baby." She tried, but his mouth latched onto her collar bone and she almost threw caution out the window. But somehow she managed to try again. "Finn, we don't have to do this. I know you have a lot on your mind."

"Do you not want to?" I'm sorry I didn't mean to pressure you." Finn said, stepping back feeling as if he had done something wrong.

"God no, of course you aren't pressuring me. I always want you. I just understand if you aren't in the mood with everything that is going on." She said, and he could tell she truly meant it.

Finn reached for her hand, not saying a word and pressed it against himself over the towel. "Does this tell you that I'm not in the mood?" Rachel looked into his eyes and she found no hesitation. She reached for the towel and pulled it off.

Nothing else was said as the two made love, so many emotions being poured into it. The stress and the worry just washing away, even for a short time with every kiss.

Once they were both physically spent, they collapsed beside each other on the bed, trying to catch their breath. Rachel traced patters along Finn's chest as her head lay on his shoulder.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" He asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"No. I'm not. Of course nobody is excited to get operated on, but I know what good will come of this so I am eager to do it. The sooner your mom gets our kidneys, the better."

Finn smiled, kissing the top of her head. "I can never thank you enough for doing this. I love you so much." He said seriously.

"And I love you."

After restring and talking a little more, the two redressed and made their way downstairs to join Puck and Santana in the living room.

"It's about time you too came up for air. We were worried Rachel was going to have an aneurism from all that yelling." Santana said and Puck laughed. Rachel turned her beet red and turned her face to hide in Finn's chest. "You two need to shut up. Let's order some food." Finn said with a laugh.

"Finally, we were starving here." Puck said and reached for the remote to press play on the movie they had been watching and the volume blared through the room.

"Fuck dude, turn that shit down. Are you going deaf?" Finn said, yelling over the tv.

"Well we had to turn the shit up so loud to drown out Rachel's screaming." Then Puck and Santana started moaning and acting out what they heard.

"Oh Finn… yessss!" "Oh yes Rachel, just like that baby." "Ohhhhh" They said, pretending to be the couple.

Rachel covered her mouth with her hands and turned a shade brighter while Finn threw a pillow from the couch and hit Puck before shooting him the finger.

They all sat around the coffee table, cartons of Chinese food covering the surface.

"God that was good. I couldn't eat another bite if my life depended on it." Santana said, leaning back on the couch and puffing out her cheeks.

"Yeah, Finn and I used to eat there after every game. It was our favorite place to go." Puck said and Finn smiled at the memories. It felt like so long ago.

"Well we better get to bed. You guys have a lot going on tomorrow." Fin n said, talking to Puck and Rachel. "And both of you…thank you for doing this." If it weren't for you doing this…If it weren't for the both of you being so selfless I wouldn't have my mom. So if you ever need anything, just say the word."

"Like we said before dude. You and Carole are family. And family helps each other. Right Berry?" Puck said.

Rachel squeezed her boyfriends hand and smiled up at him. "That's absolutely correct."

"Lurch and I will clean this up, you two get up to bed and we will join you in a few." Santana said and Rachel started to protest but the Latina shot her down and soon the two were headed upstairs.

Finn was setting the last of the take out boxes in the trash can when Santana spoke up.

"I have been looking for an opportunity to speak to you alone." She said and Finn cocked his head to the side.

"Oh yeah? What about?"

"Look, It's obvious that Rachel is head over heels in love with you, I mean damn… the girl if giving your mom a kidney. That isn't something you do for just anyone. And while she has a huge heart and would help anyone she could, the fact is that she is doing this for you." She pointed at him and Finn nodded. He knew what the girl was saying was completely true.

"I just want to make sure you know that she loves you more than I have ever seen her love someone. Since the moment she met you, something inside of her came alive and she is genuinely happy. And if you do something to mess that up, I swear with God as my witness something really horrible will happen to you."

Finn laughed, partly because it was funny that this little girl threatened to physically harm him, but almost out of fear. He knew that Santana was dead serious. She and Rachel were best friends, sisters if you will, the same closeness that he had with Puck. So the fact that Santana was watching out for Rachel was expected.

"Well you know… I could say the same when it comes to you and Puck. I have known him my entire life and he has never committed to just one girl before. Not the way he has with you. He's in love with you.. did you know that? He told me the other day. But of course you didn't hear that from me. All I'm saying is, you have a great guy and as long as you are honest and faithful to him, there isn't a thing he wouldn't do for you. So do me a favor and don't break his heart. I'm not sure he could handle it." Finn said and Santana smiled. Puck had told his best friend that he loved her. This was a feeling she hadn't ever felt before, but the thought of Puck saying that excited her.

"Ok so here's the deal. I won't break your best friends heart if you don't break my best friends heart. Deal?" Santana said, extending her hand for him to shake.

"Deal."

Once the 4 friends went their separate ways Finn walked into the bedroom he shared with Rachel just as she was stepping out of the shower. "Hey you. I'm going to just do my skin care and then I'll be in here to join you in bed." Rachel said and Finn nodded with a soft smile.

Finn flipped on the tv while she returned to the restroom. TMZ was on and he blew air out of his cheeks as he started to change the channel. But before he could change it, he saw her. Rachel's photo on the screen. He raised the volume to hear it. "The photo was taken here in Lima, at the hospital." Finn cursed to himself. "These asshole were at the hospital that his mother was dying in. They were relentless."

Then the words, "Rachel Berry rumored to be pregnant with NY business guru, Finn Hudson."

"What the fuck?" He heard Rachel say as she came back into the room after hearing her name. She saw the screen and shook her head. "That's when I was getting blood drawn for the test." Rachel said before adding, "They are trying to say I'm pregnant?" Rachel stood there in disbelief. Partly because the way they were able to get the photos without her seeming them, and the other because of the obvious lie.

"I'll call my PR guy and him handle this. He will submit our official statement to deny this." Finn said, taking this a lot better than Rachel was.

"How can you be so calm about this Finn? It's like you're not even phased by it." Rachel said slightly angry.

"Rach, I told you. They are supposed to make stuff up so they can sell it. You can't let this get to you. I told you that this was part of the down side to being with me. The paparazzi will print anything they can to try and sell copies of magazines or papers." Finn said, walking over to her and hugging her. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to drag you into this." He genuinely felt bad and worried that it might all become too much for Rachel to handle.

"Finn, tell me about your past. About your company. How did you end up with this life?" She knew she was pushing his limits right now, and she had promised not to pry, but the not knowing was killing her. If she was going to be exposed this way as the price she had to pay to be with Finn Hudson, then she felt she had a right to know everything there was to know about him.

"Rachel…" He said and she knew he was pulling into his shell. She reached up and touched his face. "You can trust me with anything Finn. I'm not going anywhere. I am in this completely."

He walked over to the window, looking out at the street that he once considered his. "I don't know where to start." He said honestly. The thought of talking about these things making him feel the least bit nauseous. He had tried to lock all of this away, but like everything else in his life, Rachel busted through the walls and locks.

"Well, tell me about your birth father. What happened? Rachel asked, slipping one of Finn's t-shirts over her head, sitting on the bed Indian style.

"My father was in the Army. He got stationed in Iraq for two tours. He came home after being gone for 2 years straight. When he came back he was a different person. My mom said he started drinking a lot and he started smacking my mom around. She stuck it out with him, hoping that things would get better once he saw a shrink, and for me… but he didn't. He gave up the fight before it even started. He was like this for two long years. Finn took a deep breath, trying to force himself to continue.

"Babe, I'm sorry I asked. You don't have to keep going." Rachel said.

"No, I want to tell you these things. I want to tell you everything." Rachel simply nodded, letting him go on.

"One day my mom and I came home early from visiting my grandma and picking up my birthday presents. My birthday was that day an I couldn't wait to show my dad the football my grandma had gotten me and uh… we um.."

Rachel gripped his hand tighter. She could see how difficult this was for Finn to discuss.

"He was dead in his recliner. A bottle of jack Daniels in one hand and a gun in the other. He had been like that for over 24 hours the cops said. My mom knew that meant he had done this right after we had left. He took the cowards way out of his problems. I remember that say clearly. Yeah I was only 4 years old, but I still remember how he looked sitting there. He was so pale white and his eyes were puffy as if he had been crying. That was by far the worst birthday of my life." Finn said.

Rachel thought that it was a horrible story, and even more so that each year on his birthday he would remember that day as being the one that his father committed suicide on.

"Oh Finn. I'm so sorry babe. I wish that he would have gotten help. It's such a shame."

Finn nodded, he agreed with her.

"So anyway, when I was 7 my mom met Burt. They dated until I was 9 and then they got engaged and decided to move in together. I was furious at first. I didn't want to give up my house. It was all I had left of my father's memory. I came around eventually and started to get close to my step dad and to my step brother Kurt. We were the same age so we knew each other from school. He is the reason I joined glee. He talked meme into trying out and I was pretty good. I really enjoyed it." He smiled, thinking back to the fun he had in Glee club. The way he felt like he was really good at something.

"My mom and Burt got married and he wanted to adopt me, but I almost had a heart attack when they told me because there was no way I would give up my last dads name. So when he adopted me, we left Hudson as my name but Burt was legally my dad. He was the greatest dad. He took me to football and baseball games. We even went to a few drag races. Kurt and my mom did a lot of shopping while we did that. Kurt came out when he was 16 and told us all he was gay. It wasn't a surprise, I think we always knew."

Rachel couldn't believe Finn was opening up to her like this. She never expected him to honestly. And when he started talking it was as if the flood gates opened.

"He started dating the man he is married to, Blaine Anderson during our senior year. That's when I met Marley." He swallowed hard, the subject obviously hard to discuss. "We dated out entire senior year, seeing each other after school and on weekends. She went to Rushmore High, which was about 20 minutes from Lima. She worked at the mall and that's how we met. My mom was nice to her, of course, but she always told me that she had a gut feeling that something about her seemed fake. Of course I ignored her, since I was 18 and knew everything. My heart thought I was in love, so naturally we continued to date. About 6 months into our relationship she shows up at my house in tears. She told me she had something just found out that she was pregnant. I almost passed out when she told me. We had never done it without a condom but she swore I was the only person she had been with so of course I believed her. I told my mom and everyone at school found out somehow. I was terrified that I was going to be stuck in Lima forever. All my dreams were put on hold and I went to work in my step dads shop to make money to pay for the doctor bills. Her parents didn't know for months so I had the doctor bills coming to my house." Finn stopped for a minute, he was remembering this all as if it were yesterday. His forehead wrinkled as he talked about her and Rachel wished she could take the pain away. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"So, you have a child? Do you ever see them?" Rachel asked, feeling nauseous at the thought of Finn having a child with someone else. Sure they had never talked about having kids, they hadn't even talked about marriage must less a family, but in the back of her mind she could see them married with children.

Finn shook his head and Rachel was confused. "Oh my God, did she have an abortion? Or put the baby up for adoption?" Rachel asked.

"She said she couldn't be a mother so young. That she just wasn't ready. She had planned to put the baby up for adoption the second it was born. But the thought of having a part of me….my flesh and blood walking around somewhere in this world and not even knowing I love them made me physically depressed. So one night I broke down and cried to my mom. I told her what Marley planned to do and I told my mom how I felt. She told me that it would be hard, extremely hard to be a father my age and go to school and college, but she said she believed in me that I could do it. That I would be a good father. She and Burt told me they would help me with the baby so I could get my diploma and college degree so I could support him or her. We decided to tell Marley over dinner that night at my house. That's the night that it all blew up in my face." Finn shook his head in disbelief. "I'm still in shock over the whole thing, even 10 years later."

"What do you mean it all blew up in your face?" Rachel asked.

"We told Marley that we understood that she wasn't ready to be a mother, and we knew she would be leaving for the University of California only two months after the baby was due. I told her that I was going to keep our baby."

Flashback

"Marley, there's something my parents and I want to talk to you about. Now please let me get this all out before you say anything, ok?" He started.

Marley nodded. She had no clue what was going on, but she agreed to listen anyway.

"I talked to my parents and they have agreed to help me, and I want to keep our baby. I just can't imagine not having them in my life. Anytime you want to see them—"

Marley stood up, pushing her chair back angrily, not letting Finn finish his sentence.

"No! I can't let you keep the baby Finn. If you do I am always going to see them. I can't do that. I can't move on with my life knowing the baby is right here in Lima. I have to put it up for adoption to be able to make a clean break. What part of that do you not understand?" She was practically yelling and Carole started to say something, but Burt squeezed her hand, whispering, "let them sort this out honey."

"You can't make this decision for me Marley. Nobody is asking you to be a part of their life. You can go to California like you planned, but just because it's so easy for you to walk away from our baby and pretend this didn't happen, doesn't mean that I have to also. I have just as much say as you do. This is just as much my kid as it is yours. And I'm keeping it." Finn was all but yelling by this point, but what happened next was not something he had been prepared for.

"No Finn, you don't have as much say as I do…because."

"Oh dear God, this can't be happening." Carole said, figuring this out before Finn did.

"Because you're not the father. You have no legal rights. There! I said it!" She said, Finn left standing speechless.

"Excuse me, I have to go. Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, thank you for dinner. It was lovely." She turned to walk out and Finn left standing speechless.

"She turned to walk out and Finn remained frozen in spot until he saw her walking out and then he ran up to catch her just before she got in her car.

"Marley! Wait!" She froze, waiting for him to lay into her.

"How long have you known it wasn't mine?" he asked in almost a whisper.

She looked down, shame all across her face. "Finn please." She begged, wanting him to stop.

He pressed on, needing to know for sure. Needing to hear it.

"I've known the whole time. I just couldn't hurt you I really do love you Finn. I really do." She reached for his arm and he pulled it away instantly.

"Who is the father? I want to know who it was that you cheated on me with." He demanded.

She didn't want to say, she was afraid of what he might do once he knew. But she owed him the truth. It was the least she could do after everything she had done to him.

"Jake." She said, and Finn's heart sank. "You cheated on me with my best friends little brother? Wow! He's a fucking freshman. This is low, even from you and that is saying something."

"Finn please. I made a mistake. We can work through this. I just don't want to lose you."

"You already lost me Marley. I'm officially breaking up with you. Goodbye." Finn said, turning to walk back inside the house. He shut the door to his house as well as to the chapter of his life that revolved around Marley.

End of Flashback

"I'm so sorry babe. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. I hate that you had to go through that. I would never hurt you that way Finn. I hope you know that." Rachel squeezed his hand.

"Can we talk more tomorrow? I want you to rest before your surgery. And I really am not in the mood to go into anything else tonight. If that's ok." Finn said, pulling Rachel to lay next to him.

Rachel hated to hear all the sadness from the man she loved, but she felt his love for her as he talked about his past. She curled up against the man of her dreams, and letting herself fall asleep. Once she was out and lightly snoring, Finn lay there, wide awake and stroking her hair. Rachel said she would never hurt him the way Marley had, and he had no doubts in his mind that she was being honest. Everything about Rachel was pure and true. She was by far the greatest thing to ever happen to Finn. He wanted to tell her more but he had glanced at the alarm clock as realize that they weren't going to get much sleep. He wasn't sure what it was that changed inside of him, but after the beginning of the conversation, he felt like he could open up and tell Rachel everything about him and his life. She made him feel comfortable when certain things were said, by squeezing his hand, or kissing his cheek to let him know that she was there for him every step of the way. Rachel made him feel like the strongest man in the world and he wanted to be the same for her. Yeah, there was no denying that he was so deeply, deeply in love with Rachel Berry and after they return to New York, he planned to do something to show her exactly how much he did.