Hey all, sorry for the delay! c: I finally got off my lazy butt and wrote. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer poop: I don't own durarara!
Several minutes passed as Shizuo and I stared at eachother, hot tears making their way down my face and Izaya staring in disbelief. Izaya took a step back and stared in the other direction.
He laughed a little,"Well, this is exhausting." He placed his hand on my shoulder, "Personally, I don't think he's worth your time. Maybe we should just bounce." I couldn't find myself able to focus clearly on what he was saying, my vision blurred and decreased slightly, I couldn't see much, and Izaya's voice was hard to hear, it was as if he was softly muted. Everything around me felt like such. I continued to stare at the bartender. The bartender who was my brother.
"You fucking flea..You planned this, didn't you? You must fucking enjoy this, you bastard." He sounded disgusted and his words came out like acid. The sound of it startled me, as I didn't have memories of my brother being such an angry, hateful person.
I glanced over at Izaya only to see a wide grin on his face, although his eyebrows were furrowed, "Oh Shizzy-chan, please don't flatter me! That nickname is way old."
"You see, I love humans. So much. I really do. I want to see them confused and suffering, humans like you, Shizuo. Cecile is a bit different. She interests me more so than you, in a way that I don't want to witness suffering nor confusion - but other things, such as..laughter, joy, fear, embarassment, because I haven't seen even one of these on this girl."
He didn't even make sense.
"I think the real bastard is the one in front of me, Shizzy-chan." He pointed at Shizuo, "If you're really her brother, then you're more of a sadist than me, if you can sit there and watch her suffer like that, and not even care." He let out a smirk and started laughing. It kind of seemed like a serious kind of, "You're pathetic" laughter. Someone like Izaya, you could never tell what he was thinking. A man who constantly cracked jokes and acted as if life was a big game, and he was the creator.
Shizuo tch'd and threw his smoke on the ground, stomping on it with force.
"I can honestly say I'm no sadist. I hate violence. There's reasoning for everything, and I have my own, so just fuck off, flea!"
Izaya wiggled his eyebrows, trying to piss Shizuo off, "Is that so? Then be my guest. Tell your little sister the reason." Shizuo's face turned pale, and hot tears welled out of my eyes, again. Quiet sobs escaping my lips. Maybe there was no reason, maybe I was just worthless, of no use to a man like him, maybe I was getting in the way, or he hated me. Maybe I was annoying. I just wanted a reason, bad or good. It pained me to think of reasons, rather than being reassured of what it really was. I wanted to speak up, to shout at the both of them, to do anything; but nothing ever wanted to go my way.
Shizuo glanced at me and then glanced away, trying to avoid my eyes.
Izaya just smirked, "Do you even have a reason?"
Shizuo stared at Izaya, the word 'yes' escaping his mouth barely even a whisper.
Izaya cupped his ears, "Sorry, what was that? Didn't quite catch it."
Shizuo snapped, "I said yes, you fucking flea!" I noticed Shizuo wouldn't look at me or Izaya when he spoke. He was trying to mask his feelings, like everybody else in this useless world did.
It's not that I hid them, it was just that I didn't have them.
It irritated me to a very depth that I couldn't understand anyone's feelings. It didn't even matter what I did or said, because it always seemed to amount to nothing. Izaya flipped a knife out, and Shizuo's eyes flashed back, as he grabbed his stop sign. I had a feeling they were somewhat going to start another parkour fight again.
Izaya and Shizuo ran at eachother at a fast speed, but time seemed to slow down. I had to stop it, I had to do something, anything.
The word 'stop' escaped my lips, but it was almost useless, as my voice came out as a strangled whisper. The tears came again, and I started to sob.
It was all so strange, I hadn't ever cried in my life. I felt useless, I knew I was...but this time around, it hurt. I put my head between my knees and curled up into a ball and just cried and cried.
"Please. Please, just stop."
I was screaming at the top of my lungs, but what was the use?
What's my purpose?