"Do you want to take a break?" Ana asked kindly as Christian was clearly struggling with the subject of the abuse he sustained at the hands of his birth mother's pimp.
"No… I'd rather get this over and done with." At this point, his suit jacket and tie was off. The shirt of sleeves was rolled up, the first few buttons undone. The room felt unseasonably hot and as hard as he tried he couldn't get his breathing to even out. He'd done this several times with Flynn and yet here he was struggling…
"You look like you need a break and it's lunch time." Christian looked at his watch. A Rolex Daytona from his mother. He remembered the day she gave to him well, it had been his birthday… it fell on a Friday so naturally the last place he wanted to be was at Bellevue when he had a sub waiting for him.
"Of course Ana, you must be angry." He desperately wanted to have lunch with her, but he could not stomach her rejected if he asked so he didn't.
He ate his lunch without really paying attention to what he was eating. The subject of Elena Lincoln was next and he knew how Ana felt about her. Christian was ready to admit she'd abused him and yet was not ready to condemn her. It was the one thing since Elena's arrest that he'd kept to himself, despite the problems it had caused he could not point the finger at Elena alone. He'd somehow managed to fool everybody even Flynn, but every fiber of his being told him Ana would see right through him. His defense of Elena had brought on her dislike of him in the first place.
"Whenever you heard or read stories of abuse, did it in any way resonate with you?" Boy, she was not beating around the bush.
"As in did I see myself as a victim." She nodded. "No, all I saw was what she'd helped me accomplish. I stopped drinking, fighting, my grades improved and above all else she believed in me, she saw something I didn't see... she believed in me." He answered with a little more passion than he intended.
"Couldn't it be said that your parents believed in you and saw the same things in you." He had no answer. "Was it because there wasn't any instant gratification with pleasing your parents?"
"I never… looked at it that way. I wanted to change, but everything I tried ended in failure."
"What did you try?" There was a loaded question. As hard as he tried he couldn't remember any tangible effort to change. So why did he yield so quickly when it came to what Elena was peddling, was it really about instant gratification.
"I don't remember trying," he answered honestly. "Why am I finding it so hard to admit what she did to me was wrong? Don't get me wrong, it was abuse, but all I seem to be able to focus on is the positive outcome of what she did." He couldn't look at her as he answered, he was ashamed.
Ana had no intention of asking so many questions, but it seems it was the only way this worked with Christian. "What was the positive outcome, but before you answer that tell me what you wanted when you agreed to Elena's agreement."
"Like I said earlier to stop drinking, fighting constantly disappointing my parents. I wanted to be able to fit in with my family, but I felt more alienated from them… she encouraged it. I became more isolated; she was my only friend and confidant. I got nothing out of the arrangement while she had it all." It hit him like a freight train coming at him from all angles. He had said all this to Flynn but at the time he said what Flynn wanted to hear. "I wanted so much and got nothing if anything she left me with more issues than before. I was a victim in so many ways." Ana wanted to whoop and applaud the fact that Christian Grey's eyes were finally open. She saw what nobody else saw a victim who blamed himself instead of the perpetrator. Despite what Elliot had told her the moment she laid eyes on him she knew he was telling everybody what they wanted to hear after all she had done that, for years she was convinced she had somehow led Stephen on, given him some indication or sign to come after her the way he did. She had seen the dread on Roz's face and could not bring herself to tell her the whole story of her past with Stephen. It had taken her a long time to completely shed the guilt she wore over that whole affair. Christian eyes were open, but it will take time for him to shed the feeling he owes Elena Lincoln some gratitude. After all she only had six months with Stephen, Christian had been in that woman's clutches for more than a decade. She should have been patient with him, but he brought on feeling she long thought she'd dealt with and she took her frustrations and anger out on him.
"Okay, tell me the story." Ana said with a smile that made him relax for the first time, that was until he remembered they had yet to tackle the subs, 15 of them.
"Thank you for doing this, I know Elliot and Roz roped you into this," he said sincerely. He had to remember this didn't mean he was going to get Ana the way he wanted.
"It's fine, it has strangely being helpful." He was desperate to know more.
"Well, I'm glad." Was all he could say in the end. God, he'd never been the type of man to thread carefully, but here he was, his behavior when it came to her as though he was walking on thin ice least he cracked the ice and sunk deeper than ever before.
"I will have the finished product for you by Friday it gives you the weekend to go over it and approve the final edits." After all his weekends was now free. He nodded leaving her office; considering the topics tackled today he had enjoyed spending the day with her.
Ana was jerked out of her concentration when her phone rang; she picked it up without looking at the name on the screen. "Hello," she answered somewhat absentmindedly.
"Ana if you have nothing better to do than spend the evening in the office join us at Fifty's," Roz shouted, clearly she's had one too many.
"How many have you had?" Ana asked with a giggle.
"Not enough if I can understand every word I just said." Roz's chuckle could be heard over the noise in the bar. "Barney get me one of those." That peaked Ana's interest.
"I will see you in a couple of minutes," she said shoving several pieces of paper into her messenger bag. She thought it best to leave her car in the GEH garage and walked the short distance to Fifty's. She hoped the cold February air would clear the fog in her brain by the time she got to the bar.
Barney wished he had got that haircut he kept telling himself he would get before he met Ana. He knew exactly who she was, the boss had shown a keen interest in her eight months or so ago, even requesting for a background check. Despite knowing there was one in the system for her he refused to even peek at it. Whatever he learned about Anastasia Steele will be from the woman herself.
He knew nothing had materialized between her and the boss and was fairly certain she turned him down which was a first. Most of the women at GEH applied for the job in hopes of attracting the attention of the enigmatic and very private Christian Grey only to find they couldn't even catch his eye. You got eye contact from doing your job, and doing it exceptionally well, so most of them did, but it still got them nowhere. He doubted they'd be that keen to get his attention if they knew of his sexual proclivities.
"ANA." He looked up to find her looking at him; he really should have gotten that haircut. For starters, the long hair reminded him of Hyde, Ana's unnerving boss he had helped Elliot get rid off. He pulled his hair out of the ponytail and run his fingers through it when she turned her attention to Roz, at least it was clean and not greasy.
She was glad Roz had invited her; she got to know a few people from GEH she would never have guessed worked there. Not that she was unsociable, the building employed a couple of thousand people and being with Grey Publishing she had little chance to know people outside her floor considering she spent all her time with mostly Roz and on occasion Andrea. But boy did she want to get to know Barney. Despite having gravitated towards each other they barely said a word to each other outside of hello. She had never dated before, the one time she tried she… no, it was not the time for it.
"How long have you worked at GEH?" Ana asked a desperate need to forget… if only briefly about everything she learned about her boss today. It was sobering that someone not yet 30 could endure so much horror and still prosper.
"Six years almost seven. Pretty much from the beginning." He said with a smile.
"You are not from Seattle." It was more of a statement rather than a question.
"No, from Boston. Mr. Grey employed me straight out of MIT." Ana turned her body towards him.
The two were so engrossed in each other they did not see their boss glaring at them from a short distance. Christian had called Elliot for a night out, anything to take his mind off his personal life. "Come on bro," Elliot said pulling his brother out of the bar before either had even had the chance to order a drink. "We'll go to a bar I know." Far from here, the last thing he needed was Christian getting arrested for assault.
"No E… I'm good. I'm just going to head home."
"I'll come with you." He knew Elliot wasn't going to leave him to his own devices so he didn't bother to put up a fight. Barney, Barney fucking Sullivan was putting the moves on his girl. But she's not your girl; right now she's not even a friend. He couldn't expert her to be single forever, but at least she could date someone who didn't work for him. He wished he had a no fraternization policy in place. He'd never paid attention to Barney why would he, and now Barney was most likely going to get the one girl he wanted. He could warn him off or better yet pay him off. There were a handful of people he would never fire and did everything in his power to keep in his employment and Barney was one of them. The guy had more offers than you could shake a tailfeather at and chose to come work for his company, GEH was nothing then, a couple of acquisitions under his belt did not make a company but Barney had enough faith in him to come work for him. Fuck did he have to go after Ana.