"Shepard," Garrus greeted without even glancing over his shoulder. Human scents were difficult to keep straight, but he knew hers. "I was beginning to think my 'tool glitched and you never got my message."
"I got it. You just sounded like you were still pissed, so I thought maybe I should wait a bit. Have you got a minute?"
"Yeah," he said, logging out of his work station and turning to face her. "Just killing time anyway. But you're wrong, I'm not angry anymore. I wanted to thank you for your help with Sidonis. Somehow, you were right. Three days, in case you were wondering. Not sure how I feel about it now, to be honest, other than a little bit terrified of you," he said with a wink. He wasn't that terrified, just... much more aware of how formidable this human actually was. "Anyway, whatever happens with the Collectors or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us, I know you'll get the job done. I'm sorry I ever doubted your motives or your methods."
"I shouldn't have been so heavy-handed, but there wasn't time. We're good, then?"
"The best, Shepard."
"That's a relief," she said, faintly smiling at him. "I couldn't do this without you, Garrus."
"Sure you could," he said with a wave. His mandibles flickered, "Not as stylishly, of course." Shepard's smile broadened, but she didn't seem to have much else to say. Garrus shifted his weight to one foot, searching for something to talk about. Shepard seemed to want more from him, and it made him tense trying to figure out what. Being surrounded by other species was something he was used to, but that didn't mean it was a relaxing setting. Cerberus anti-alien attitudes didn't help, though Shepard's influence seemed to mellow the worst of it. "You know," he began, deciding to simply voice his thoughts, "it's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don't prepare for high-risk operations the way Turians do."
"Oh?" Shepard quirked an eyebrow, "How do turian crews get ready for high-risk missions?"
"With violence, usually. Turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight, and they know we need to blow off steam. Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full-contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress."
"You mean turian ships have crewmen fighting each other before a mission? Sounds like my kind of party. There are a few people on this ship I'd love to have an excuse to beat the tar out of."
Garrus cleared his throat, not wanting Shepard to dwell on beating the daylights out of the Cerberus crew. "It's supervised, of course. Nobody is going to risk an injury that interferes with the mission. And it is a good way to settle grudges amicably. I remember right before one mission, we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon scout and I had been at each other's throats. Nerves, mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring."
"I assume you took her down gently?" Shepard supplied with a smile. She was enjoying the story, or maybe she was just glad he wasn't holding Sidonis against her anymore.
"Actually, she and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility. It was brutal. After nine rounds, the judge called it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room. We, ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess."
"Damn, Garrus," she said, shaking her head and grinning. She sobered a little. "So be honest, what do you think our chances are?"
"Honestly? We're going to lose people, no way around that. Not a very optimistic assessment, I know, but don't worry, I'm not going to go spreading that around. And I'm with you, no matter what, Shepard."
"And this is why I like you so much, Garrus– someone else would have been blowing smoke up my ass instead of answering honestly. But I have to say, it sounds like you're carrying some tension. Maybe I could help you get rid of it," she said. The smile was back, but it was crooked as she stood up and walked slowly toward him.
His heart raced. This couldn't be what he thought it was. "I, uh, didn't think you'd feel like sparring, Commander," he said lightly, hoping she would clarify her intent. Either she was all but openly propositioning him, or she wanted the opportunity to hit him a few times for some reason. He didn't know which he should hope for.
Shepard circled him, openly sizing him up. "Well, you've got reach on me, but I bet my flexibility makes up for it. What do you say? Shall we see how we match up?"
He swallowed hard. "Oh! I didn't... huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars. But I'm not sure..."
"Come on, Garrus. Sure, I'll kick your ass, but that's only the beginning. And think of how much better you'll feel when you don't have so much tension to carry around. I'll even leave my biotics off the table."
He let out a breath and flashed her a smile, "Well, why the hell not? There's nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you." He mentally kicked himself as soon as the words left his mouth. That wasn't the right thing to say, not even close. Well, she said she likes me because I'm honest with her, and that's about the best I can come up with on the fly. I don't even know what a human would want to hear in this situation. Maybe it's for the best, I could still be reading this wrong and I'd never be able to show my face out of the battery again if I started talking about her waist or something...
Shepard raised an eyebrow, "I guess that's good enough. This evening, then?"
"Uh, okay. Let's just make sure we're... careful."
"I make no promises, but I'll try not to hurt you, Garrus. My hand-to-hand's a little rusty, so you probably stand a chance of beating me. I don't know why you're so nervous." Shepard smiled and brushed past him before he could gather his wits and muster a response.
That did not just happen, he thought, staring after her. It couldn't have. Shit, why didn't I say no? This is going to ruin everything. What the hell is she thinking? Spirits... maybe she did just mean sparring... He replayed the conversation in his mind, but he couldn't convince himself. Shepard wasn't stupid, and she understood turians. She meant every word exactly as he'd initially interpreted. Garrus sank down on the bench by the doors and rested his face in his hands. Research. I need to do some research. Spirits, she's so soft, I'm going to destroy her. He activated his omnitool and got to work.
Shepard was already in the area of the cargo hold that was set aside for physical training when he arrived. "Sorry I'm late."
"Calibrations hold you up? Or are you having second thoughts?" She met his gaze and held it steadily. He couldn't decide if she was offering him a way to bow out or if she was just trying to provoke a reaction. It didn't matter– his answer was the same either way.
"I can take you, Shepard. They say that humans and turians are pretty evenly matched physically, but in my experience, your people are easy to intimidate in close quarters. And being female, you're not going to hit the same benchmarks that a male of your species would. Jacob or Zaeed might give me a run for my money, but you? You're small, and, let's face it, you're soft."
Shepard's eyes narrowed for a heartbeat before she shrugged off the insult."There you go, calling me soft again. I'll assume you're simply referring to my lack of a carapace, not a lack of mettle."
"If it'll make you feel better, you go right ahead and assume that, Shepard," he said with a patronizing chuckle, hoping to provoke her. Fighting Shepard mad wasn't a pleasant thought, but facing her when she was clear-headed would be a disaster.
"God, you're really asking for it," she said, the cheer in her tone coming across a little forced. He had succeeded. "I had no idea you were such a bigoted chauvinist, Vakarian. Step into the ring so I can beat you."
"Yes, Ma'am. Good luck with that." He stepped into the painted lines and dropped into a fighting stance. Shepard did likewise and rather than circle and size him up, she immediately took a jab right at his face– the scarred side, which meant it wasn't her dominant hand. It was a feint. He easily blocked her fist and the kick she aimed at his side.
The human danced away lightly. That was good, she wasn't out of his range, but her attacks wouldn't reach him unless she advanced again. Now they circled one another for a few moments, studying each other. Garrus sent a few swipes her way, but deliberately kept himself from fully extending, hoping to give her a false sense of security. It worked. Shepard inched closer, but before she could execute whatever plan of attack she had brewing, he lashed out, his curled fist connecting with the side of her face. Her head snapped to the side and before she recovered, he swept her legs. Shepard landed hard on the cold deck. Garrus moved to pin her, but she slipped away and rolled to her feet, a grin on her face.
The fight continued at a furious pace until both combatants were breathing hard. Garrus flicked a trickle of blood away from his mouth with a shake of his head. He could smell her blood on his face, though, so he knew she'd damaged herself when she hit him at least as much as she'd injured him. The scent was unexpectedly distracting– not just because he was worried about what damage it might do before he got it cleaned off– and he found he liked it.
Shepard apparently decided she needed to change tactics. She lunged forward, stepping on his foot to keep him from giving ground, and threw her elbow hard into his chest just below the bony ridge running down the center, driving out his breath and making the muscles seize for a few moments. Her hand darted out and caught his right mandible before he had an opportunity to recover, and rage colored his vision as her painful grip yanked his head to the side and threw off his balance. She drove her shoulder against him and he fell to the floor. Shepard threw herself on him, releasing his mandible so she could attempt to pin his limbs and force him to yield. Big mistake, human, he viciously thought, easily breaking her grip and throwing her onto her back. His hand darted out and his talons circled her throat– carefully, of course, he didn't want to kill her.
It was the wrong move. Shepard ignored what in a real fight would have been a killing blow and savagely slammed her knee into the soft spot on his side. The human knew entirely too much about turian physiology. Garrus bit back a growl and abandoned his hold on her in favor of pinning her to the floor. At least, that was the plan. Somehow, Shepard got her leg folded between them and was slowly forcing him off her. How could human legs be so strong? He couldn't hold his grip on her much longer, but he wasn't going to give up. Turns out, he didn't have to– Shepard grunted, then heaved and threw him far enough off her to allow her to roll away. Oh, no, you don't, he thought, dodging a kick aimed at his face and snatching her ankle. He yanked hard and dragged her back, then threw his arm underneath hers and around her throat.
"Yield, Shepard," he demanded. The harsh growl in his voice surprised him, but there wasn't time to consider it now, so the information and its implications were tucked away for later. Shepard still struggled under him and she had managed to get her wrist into the crook of his elbow, but she didn't have the leverage she needed to break free. Still, he locked her into the hold with his other hand and squeezed harder to make his point.
"Fuck you, Garrus," she spat, arching her spine and dragging her leg underneath her. He repositioned his feet in anticipation of her attempt to roll them over and instead of flipping herself out from under him, he forced her to merely lift them off the floor.
You're mine, he thought triumphantly, flashing his leg forward and catching both her legs on his calf-spur. He quickly locked her legs in place with his. "You're done, human. Yield."
Shepard responded by sinking her teeth into his forearm. Somehow, those little omnivore teeth found the most tender part of his arm, and he was suddenly convinced they might be sharpened like the edge of a knife and not blunt as they appeared, and her jaw strength was terrifying. "Stop!" he snarled, struggling against his impulse to drop her. She responded by jerking her head to the side and bearing down even harder. He felt something begin to tear and that was it– he let go. "Damned crazy bitch!" he shouted at her as she rolled to face him and shot her fist into his throat. He choked and released his spur-hold on her legs, and in a flash, she was away and back on her feet while he struggled to convince his throat to let him continue breathing.
Shepard spat on the floor, "Fucking dextro blood, tastes like goddamned candy," she cursed under her breath. "Yield, Vakarian," she panted. He might have if he was confident he could still speak, but Shepard wasn't patient. When he didn't immediately respond, she aimed a kick at his face, which he was expecting and managed to catch. He pulled her back to the deck, and Shepard fell badly, smacking the back of her head on the metal floor.
Before the bite and the sucker-punch to the throat, Garrus would have backed off and made sure she was okay. Now, though? Not a chance. He threw himself onto her, his knee landing on her chest. His fist was poised to slam into her face, "I'll yield when you do, Shepard."
Her eyes locked with his and the tension in her body almost convinced him to throw the punch and do his best to beat her. Almost. Finally, she relaxed. "Alright. Get off me, already," she said, pushing at his knee.
He pressed harder against her chest, "Say it, first."
Shepard cracked a smile, "Good, Vakarian. I yield if you do."
"Good enough, Shepard" he said with relief, lifting himself off her and offering her a hand up.
"Don't you mean Commander Crazy Bitch?" she said, almost pulling off a playful tone, but not quite. Shepard rubbed her chest and leaned forward to catch her breath. Garrus felt like doing the same, but pride kept him upright.
He almost apologized, but he stopped himself. Instead he inspected the slowly bleeding bite on his arm, "You fight dirty, Shepard."
"Damn straight. How else do you think I manage to win so often?"
"Don't tell me you think you won that," Garrus laughed.
"Maybe not as soundly as I'd like, but I think you're bleeding a little more, and I'm sure your bruises are going to last longer. Besides, I had to do something, you used your spurs on me. So much for an even playing field."
He hid his surprise when it sank in that he had used his spurs... on his human commanding officer. What's wrong with me? Nothing about that is alright! Spirits, at least she's female... He swallowed and tried not to let his distress show, "Hah! No offense, but Cerberus made you into a freak of nature, Shepard, of course you're going to heal faster than me. I think– maybe– we should call it a tie," he suggested, his heart beating faster. Now he'd find out if she really meant... what she had said to him earlier– it was the perfect opening. Shepard's smile widened and her eyes flicked over him. He wasn't sure whether to be pleased or unnerved. Maybe using his spurs wasn't entirely out of line.
"Alright," she said, the tones in her voice unfamiliar, and surprisingly pleasant. "Between us, it's a tie. If anyone asks, I kicked your ass into next week."
"I thought this was just a friendly sparring session. Why's it so important for you to win?"
"Isn't this how turians do friendly?" she asked, feigning innocense and taking slow, rolling steps toward him.
Garrus almost balked, but her tone gave him motivation to push a lot further than he would have dared, normally. He dropped his voice and enjoyed the knowledge that the lower subharmonics would likely have an interesting effect on Shepard. "In situations like this, it's how turians do foreplay, Shepard, and you damn well know it." Most humans found tones in that range pleasing, if not arousing and judging by the flush on her face and the change in her scent, Shepard was one of the latter.
"Very friendly, then," she conceded in those same, smoky tones, proving to him that turians certainly weren't the only species to use vocals to impressive effect. "So, what do you say? Tie-breaker in the captain's cabin?"
Garrus let himself study her for a moment. He'd never really looked at Shepard as a woman, only as his commanding officer and his friend. She was no turian, but at least she had the appeal of an asari. Roughly. Not his first choice, but workable, and humans were generally more primal and passionate than asari, so maybe this would be better. Shepard was one hell of a human. If she were turian, he'd probably be absolutely smitten. He shifted his weight so his posture would reflect his interest, just in case Shepard actually knew what to look for. "Definitely, but not right now. No offense, but I doubt you could handle it with the mood I'm in, and I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm not made of glass, Vakarian, and I think I just proved that. If you're not interested..."
"It isn't that," he interrupted, keeping tight reign on his impulse to pin her and... he didn't know what. She didn't have a fringe or mandibles, and that left him at a bit of a loss. He set the problem aside for later and cleared his throat. Shepard looked frustrated, so he explained, "It's not that I'm saying you're fragile, but even if you had a carapace I'd be a little worried. And then there's the dextro-levo thing. So in the interest of making sure both of us survive, let's do a little research first, shall we?" He released her and turned away. "Good fight," he called over his shoulder as he left the cargo bay. "If you're up for it, I could use a sparring partner more often– if you promise not to bite me again." Shepard laughed as she collapsed onto a crate filled with rock samples, then the doors slid shut behind him and cut off the sound.
"You wanted to see me?" Shepard asked as she sauntered into the battery.
Garrus hit the button on the console that would lock the door before speaking. "Yeah. I've been thinking about that tiebreaker. I've never considered cross-species intercourse. And damn, saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical. Are we crazy to even be thinking about this? I'm not... Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home."
"Sure, if that's what I wanted. Look, I trust you, Garrus. That's rare, and I'd like to try this."
"I can do that. I'll find some music... and do some research to figure out how this thing should work..." He'd already done all the research he could stomach, but reminding her that there could be serious medical ramifications seemed important. "It'll either be a night to treasure, or a horrible interspecies-awkwardness thing. In which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way."
"You know, Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay. I'm not trying to pressure you."
"Shepard, you're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed-up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans... but this isn't about that. You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable. But it's been bugging me, I totally kicked your ass, Shepard. We can't really call it a tie-breaker, now can we?"
"Uh-huh," she said, unconvinced. "We'll see. So I was thinking that sometime late might be good. After most of the crew has racked in for the night, you know?"
"That sounds wise. Disrupt the crew as little as possible... You know me. I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink." Shepard's smirk widened and her eyebrows lifted. He replayed his last statement through his head and realized why she was grinning like that. "Wait. That metaphor just went somewhere horrible."
Shepard winked and backed toward the doors, "I'll let you get back to work."
He hit the button to unlock the doors for her, "Right. Because I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now."
"Have you got a minute?" Shepard's voice startled Garrus out of his thoughts, but he thought he probably hid it well. He locked the doors behind her and activated the surveillance scrambler he'd just installed before turning to her and speaking.
"Definitely," he replied. "Part of me still thinks we're crazy for even considering... blowing off steam. Sparring is one thing, but..."
"Is this when you tell me you've decided against trying it? Because I'm trying not to push, but it's been almost a week..."
"Of course not. I want to try it with you. I want a few moments that are just for us before we throw ourselves into hell for the good of the galaxy."
"That's just what I was hoping you'd say," she said, her lips curled into a crooked smile.
"Glad to hear it. So, I have to ask, did Mordin ambush you with a safe sex talk, too? Did you tell him anything?"
"God, I though you must have! And yes, he did ambush me. With about a terabyte of what looks to me like porn and a bunch of medical brochures. Who comes up with that crap anyway?"
"No idea. Salarian scientists, probably, as disturbing as that thought is. He gave me some adrenaline shots to hold onto in case of 'an emergency,' as he delicately put it. You?"
"Yeah, me too. Bet the advice he gave me was ten times more awkward than what he told you."
"Wouldn't it be the same advice?"
Shepard quirked an eyebrow, "Doubt it. Do turians do oral sex?"
"Do what? I mean... Uh, no. I can't even imagine... Do humans?"
"Humans like to do pretty much anything you can imagine with their naughty bits, so yeah. Mordin warned me to make sure I don't ingest anything."
"Ugh, that's just plain disgusting. Degenerates," Garrus said with a shake of his head. "No wonder humans and krogan are so barbaric. It's amazing you think about anything aside from sex with it so heavily connected to all your biological imperatives and having your bodies reward that with pleasure."
"What? Why?" Shepard's open confusion was almost comical, but he did his best not to laugh.
"I don't know of any other sapient species that have sexual pleasure and reproduction so intrinsically linked. Asari can reproduce with nothing more than a touch, for example."
"An incredibly intimate and pleasurable touch, from what I understand. If it's done right, at least."
"Yeah, but it's not really the same as what you consider sex, is it?"
"You're telling me that humans and krogan are the only ones who get pleasure out of reproduction? That doesn't even make sense, and I'll tell you right now, humans can definitely reproduce without experiencing much pleasure at all. At least from the female's side of it."
"Not the same," Garrus repeated with a shrug. "I won't even get into salarians, but turians, drell, and even batarians all have the ability to engage in anything we consider sexual without risking unintended reproduction."
"Vorcha?"
Garrus looked at her askance, "I know nothing about vorcha, and I'm very comfortable with that knowledge gap, but whatever group they fall into, I think that only emphasizes my point."
Shepard cringed, clearly thinking about the topic more than she should. "Forget I mentioned it. So reproduction isn't sexual to you?" she said with a smirk. "You turians reproduce asexually?"
"Now you're making fun of the idea, Shepard. Come on, I thought you knew everything there is to know about your 'alien' crewmen."
"Well, apparently I was wrong about that. I'm suddenly a lot more apprehensive about this tie-breaker than I was when I came down here."
"Oh, don't worry," he said, daring to reach out and pull her closer. She smiled, so he kept his hands on her and craned his neck to keep eye contact. "I've done my homework and I'm confident you won't be disappointed. We're a lot more... compatible than I thought at first," he touched her hair, surprised at how light and silky it felt between his talons. Hair was fascinating, and only a little disturbing now that he knew it wasn't slimy or greasy like he'd always assumed it would be. "Think you'll be available tonight?"
Shepard smiled up at him, "I don't know, I have been waiting all week. I guess it depends on how willing you are to try some degenerate sex acts."
"Maybe we can work up to that," he replied, hoping she was joking.
"I'll see you tonight, then. But if you stand me up..."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Shepard," he interrupted as she slipped away from him and moved to leave the battery. She shot him a crooked smile over her shoulder, but didn't say anything else. Garrus watched her walk away, focusing on the sway of her hips and the curve of her waist. Not too bad, actually. This might work out after all.
Author's note: Thanks to everyone for reading, following, and adding to your favorites. :) I also wanted to make a note on some of the liberties I've taken regarding alien reproduction. Stop reading this note if you don't care. :)
I've done some research and some brainstorming with my beta regarding the subject, and the reproductive adaptations I've decided to assign to the galactic community are at least loosely derived or extrapolated from real animals. I'm thinking I'll explore those devices a little more in the story at some point, at least in passing, but here's the summary:
We all know how asari and salarians reproduce (arguably parthenogenically and spawning respectively.) In this story, turian females can 'freeze' pregnancy to prevent it from progressing until social/environmental conditions are prime and can spontaneously abort at will (like rabbits and many other animals.) Drell are only fertile when certain non-sexual courtship conditions are met (I didn't look for an example in nature, but if it isn't there, it really should be. Not much of a stretch in my book.) And batarian females have a decoy vaginal passage (female mallard ducks, for example) which is not connected to the reproductive system. Quarians, all locked up in their separate suits, have their own sexual culture, I'm sure, and there's no such thing as casual sex or one-night stands unless an individual is really self-destructive. Volus are similarly closed off. Hanar, Elcor... who else am I forgetting? Do I really need to talk about the non-humanoids? I don't think so.
Anyway, none of the mentioned actually have recreational sex and reproduction linked in the way that humans (and apparently krogan, and possibly vorcha) do. Garrus isn't an expert. Maybe he's wrong, or maybe his perspective skews things. Turians are a lot more like humans and krogan than most of the other species in this regard, but I doubt they see it that way since they have so much personal control over whether they reproduce or not, and it's not just a matter of whether they are sexually active or not, or successful birth control, like it is for humans.
PM me if you're interested and I can show you some information to support my reasoning, and I can share my personal logic about all this and why it even matters enough to include in a story like this.
-laughingtiger