He Too Is Alexander

Chapter 10

Hephaestion's POV

Hephaestion knew something was wrong. Alexander was trying very hard to act like everything was fine but too many years together had put Hephaestion on the alert. It was a look, a slightly different touch and a silence where words used to be. Most people would not have noticed any difference at all but Hephaestion could tell that Alexander was hiding something from him. Knowing that they shared almost everything, he also knew that Alexander must be holding something back because he was protecting him, that is the only reason he would not share anything with him.

He had asked him several times if he was alright or if he needed help with anything and Alexander had assured him that everything was fine and there wasn't any problem. He always smiled and rubbed his shoulders when he said it, and for that reason alone, Hephaestion knew something was amiss. Too many smiles and too many soothing words were a sure sign of secret forebodings.

Hephaestion decided to keep his eyes open and be watchful for the source of this confusing act Alexander was performing for him. Two could play at this game, Hephaestion decided, and he would wait patiently to see what was going on.

Alexander's POV

He thought he was hiding his feelings but Hephaestion had suddenly started to ask questions. He was watching Alexander more closely and keeping track of all of his moves and actions. Hephaestion was a hard man to hide things from and Alexander knew he was going to have to be more careful watching the crowds, especially where one man in particular was concerned.

Alexander was having a battle with himself. On one hand, he didn't want to tell Hephaestion want he knew about his disappearance and the injuries he had sustained. Knowing who was responsible was now both a blessing and a curse. The man would pay, of that Alexander had no doubts, but when and how was still the question. It was in the back of Alexander's mind day and night and he had to watch out because he was alerting Hephaestion too much.

Was it fair to keep the information from Hephaestion? In his heart the answer was always to not share what he knew. Hephaestion was fine now and had recovered his health again. The other men seemed to treat him differently now with more respect and friendship. He was also different himself, more relaxed around the other generals and able to open up more with them. Hephaestion had finally become one of the 'boys' and not just Alexander's friend.

Alexander had asked himself a hundred times what Hephaestion would do if he knew the truth. He had every right to seek revenge if he knew. Would he challenge the man or any of the others that were still alive? If he did, would bring the whole ugly affair out into the open and make public everything that had taken place for all to hear and judge? Would that make things better or worse for him? Would knowing the awful truth eat away at him and make him pull into himself more again? Alexander had the same argument in his head over and over still getting no answers.

More often than not, Alexander came to the conclusion that he was better not knowing. Right or not, Alexander was prepared to live with the consequences of his actions by not telling him. Hephaestion was his highest General and Commander, his friend for life, but he also held Alexander's heart, and Alexander would do everything in his power not to hurt him if he could avoid it.

And so he held his tongue, observed more carefully and hid his thoughts from Hephaestion as best he could, hoping against hope that Hephaestion would never find out the truth.

Hephaestion POV

Alexander was quieter than he had ever been in his life. He sat back and observed people more, talked less and held his emotions, and especially his anger, inside more. It could be a sign of maturity but Hephaestion thought it still was something else entirely. He decided to confront Alexander and finally get to the bottom of it.

The Confrontation

Hephaestion entered Alexander's rooms and walked over to the desk Alexander where was seated and sat down in the chair directly across from it. He didn't say anything as Alexander looked up and saw him there. Alexander smiled at him and nodded and then returned to the scroll he was reading. Alexander's never understood another word on the scroll because his insides were completely knotted.

The look on that beautiful face across the desk from him said it all, he was not to be denied anymore. Alexander prayed to any gods he could think of to make him strong and find all of the right words for the next few moments.

When Alexander finally put the scroll down after getting himself together, he found the blue eyes staring back at him intently.

"What is wrong, has something happened?" the King asked.

"You tell me."

Alexander answered with a confused look and said nothing.

"What have you been trying to hide from me? And don't deny it anymore, I know you too well."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." said Alexander rising from his seat and walking to the window, anywhere, but away from those eye.

Not a sound was heard behind Alexander and he stood in the silence as long as he could before he finally turned and looked to see if he was still there. Hephaestion was indeed still there and hadn't moved a muscle. He was looking at Alexander.

"What makes you think I'm keeping something from you?"

Hephaestion shook his head and smiled at him. He rose from his chair and came to stand in front of Alexander. He put a finger under Alexander's chin and pulled his head up closer to him, gently placing a kiss on his lips.

"You can hold no secrets from me because I will find out what you're hiding."

For two seconds Alexander wavered in that blue depth and then pulled himself together. By the gods, Hephaestion was not playing fairly. He embraced Hephaestion himself before he could take control again and kissed him passionately, holding him close and moaning into those lips with the sweetness of it all.

When they finally pulled apart, Hephaestion put his heads on either side of Alexander's face and held it tightly and got very close to him before he spoke.

"I will find out eventually, you know I will."

Alexander smiled back at him as Hephaestion walked to the door. As Hephaestion passed through the door, Alexander let out the deep breath he had held the whole time Hephaestion had been in his room.

"I hope not my love, not if I have anything to say about it." he whispered to the now empty room.

Hephaestion stopped on the other side of the door and paused there for a moment. He was more convinced than ever that whatever it was that Alexander was keeping from him was something very important and he thought he was protecting him.

As he started walking away, Hephaestion asked himself if he really did what to know the truth.