First & Last Chapter 10
(October 2012….I had been avoiding coming back to speak to Derek especially since I had turned down Senator Cramer's offer at the FBI & the Washington Post at INTERPOL, but I knew a quick visit with Bella always made all my fears or heartache disappear if only for a little while…there has always been something about her little voice that I could always pick her out of a crowd….I knew her voice, her smell, her cry…..but what I didn't know is what she felt!)
I heard Derek ask the man if he could help him when he had asked for me…..I could hear the hesitation in Derek's voice when he asked the man who he was. I hurried out of the bed to make my way to the bathroom glanced in the mirror pulling my hair back and making sure my face was not a disheveled mess from all the crying I had done the night before along with grabbing my robe since I really did not think it was appropriate for me to run out barely clothed…I couldn't help the part of me that was hoping she was with him, but the way his voice sounded I could assume not!
As I entered the living room Derek gave me a concerned look, but I turned to say what do I have the pleasure of a visit from Max Clayborne from today…..I guessed Max could see the unsure look on my face when he spoke up to say I did not mean to interrupt you or anything, I just needed to speak to you about our situation…I said situation what do you mean…he said Emily I am just going to be blunt, Stephanie and I are going through a divorce and this arrangement with Bella is making things even more stressful…..I mean I understand you do not want her hurt and you have only been trying to protect her but she knows we are not her parents along with she is only happiest when you are around her….it's almost as if she knows you are her mother regardless of what is or is not said…I mean for heaven's sake even as a baby she really was only ever consoled by you…..and to this day she screams out for you in her sleep…no matter how much Stephanie or Luciana try to make her feel better or loved…..she is such a strong willed child, but she is also a broken child because she knows where she belongs but where she belongs…well where she belongs is another story! Emily basically what I am saying is I think you need to be Bella's mother and quit this charade before she gets hurt anymore…Stephanie is planning on fighting you for rights to her is what I originally came to say….I mean I know we only have guardianship over her as in the event of something happens to you…..but dammit I just cannot keep seeing the disappoint in her face when she asks about you and then even more so when you leave her…..it's like you leave a piece of you when you leave and take a piece of her when you leave!
I was trying to process everything Max had just said to me….was he really telling me or was I dreaming…..hell…..Max where is she….I mean who is she with right now? I felt Derek's hand at the small of my back as he leaned in to whisper in my ear saying that I needed to breath…..I guess unconsciously I had been holding my breath through most of this conversation and more so after I had asked where my baby was! I was trying to ignore the swirling/dizzy feeling that kept going on in my head making me feel as though I was on the verge of puking…..God that was all I needed to do was to make myself even more upset! Derek pulled me toward the sofa making me sit down then saying he was going to get me a something to drink, Max followed to sit across from me with a slight shake of his head I heard him take a deep breath before he said Emily basically I need you to be in New York this Friday with your lawyer to meet with us about what needs to be done about Bella…..and I am going to be frank with you, Stephanie may go off on the deep end…..I have tried to tell her that Bella needs her mother and not us…..hell she doesn't even acknowledge us as her parents or pay us any attention….she just sits in her room reading or learning her lessons…and this whole year she…..well….she is worse she acts so depressed….she has been withdrawn…..not speaking….not eating….nothing…..I keep telling Stephanie that it's because she needs you, hell even the doctors agree that she keeps calling to come and access her, but she doesn't not want to listen….she keeps saying that Bella is her little girl!
(I wished I could say that things had went smoothly when we had that meeting on that Friday but of course nothing in my life ever goes as smoothly as I would hope for…..although about 3 weeks to the day and with much anticipation we brought my sweet Bella home…..home where she finally belonged. I am not going to lie those first couple of days where quite awkward, adjusting to being an actual mom this time around and not just her so called fairy-godmother as she had always said…)
Derek and I had put the whole house hunting thing on the back burner….not realizing it had been over 2 months ago he had made the suggestion…..until Bella had asked about having a puppy….she had a play date with Henry today who had just gotten a new puppy so of course Bella felt as though she needed a new one as well. As we had finished dinner I went to get Bella ready for a bath and off to bed…..after getting her all snug in bed…..at which I am not going to lie was one of my favorite parts of my day knowing I was going to get to snuggle with her and hold her for a little while till she fell asleep in my arms…..I just loved the way she puckers her little lips while sleeping or while trying to fight sleep she would always twirl her little fingers in my hair or she would play with my cross pendant while laying her little head as close to my chest as she could saying "I remember it now"…..as I caress her little cheek saying yes my darling I hope you always remember it!
As I curl myself snug into Derek's warm body feeling safe for once in a very long time….I cannot help but have the biggest grin on my face…..he pulls me tighter saying I hope that smile and glow you have had all evening is because of me...I just giggle at his comment as I turn a little to look at him a little more he leans into kiss me gently feeling his hand ease its way up to cup one of my breast giving it a light squeeze…I am tempted to say something as he leaves little feather light kisses down my neckline while his wondering hands search out other erogenous zones to play with…..I cannot keep myself from giggling even more as I try to stay in the moment with him…but I cannot help but want to tell him…..no maybe I should just enjoy this moment since these have been few and far between lately…..but before I can even think of what to say I feel those magic hands about to make me come undone…Derek….Derek…..(I can barely breath trying to say his name….God what this man does to me!)….yeah baby….he looks up at me with those searing caramel eyes that almost penetrate me I try to breathlessly to say I am…..
ALRIGHT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANTED IT TO BE BELLA AT THE DOOR SORRY….BUT SHE IS BACK WHERE SHE BELONGS! AS ALWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE R&R'S AND AS ALWAYS I WELCOME YOUR ALL'S INPUT….UNTIL NEXT TIME!