Author note: This is a weird chapter. Well I think so. And I just want to warn you, there's an obnoxious (I like that word) cliffhanger at the end of the chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own a the characters or the places JKR does.
Damien
by Sarah Black
chapter ten
"What part of 'ow' don't you understand?" She whimpered rather pathetically. She was sitting on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her and Sirius was sitting in front of her. The back of their feet against each other. He was holding both her hands quite painfully and for the better part of the passing hour he had spent torturing her. He pulled her hands towards him and he said that the point was to get her forehead to touch her knees. Yeah right. As if that would ever happen. All that had happened was a lot of complaining on her part and Sirius rolled his eyes a lot. She knew he was extremely frustrated with her but she had no reason to care about what he thought and how he felt. After all he was torturing her.
"Arabella, she's refusing to cooperate." Sirius whined. Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. It was her first 'fight class' like Severus had sarcastically named it and she was beginning to think she'd spend every class wishing she was somewhere else. What was the point with this class anyway? If Severus could teach her to resist the hypnotism she' d have two choices. Stay and fight or run. She couldn't imagine fighting Damien. And she had never been violent. She wasn't used to fighting back. She knew it was always easier to just wait till it passed. And she could always just join him. Live forever. Damien wouldn't hurt her after that. They'd be happy.
"Christine?" Sirius waved his hand in front of her. That man was so annoying. No wonder Severus disliked him. Sirius had never tried to kill her, but she was already starting to dislike him a lot. He was such an obnoxious person. Arabella came over to them. The older woman ordered her to get up. She stood up and looked the cat obsessed individual in the eye.
"Imagine this, I'm Damien. I'm about to bite you. You're scared. What do you do?" Arabella whispered her question. And she could hear Damien laugh inside her head. She was surrounded by obnoxious people. Probably her lucky day or something.
"I run." She answered dully. Arabella sighed impatiently.
"No. You kick him." The statement was spoken as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She wondered what Severus was doing. Probably sleeping. It was ridiculously early in the morning. And even if she was used to being up, she wasn't used to this horrible pain everywhere. Actually she was but - oh, what was the point? Better just play along...
"Oh, of course I kick him. I know! Sirius why don't you play Damien..." She glared at Sirius and walked over to him. "All right, you're Damien. Act like him." She ordered. She had no idea what she was doing. Her muscles ached and she was annoyed and she just wanted to get some lunch.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and said: "grrr" she would have laughed if it were anyone else than Sirius standing in front of her. Instead of laughing she kicked him in the shins as hard as she could. Then she ran for the door, she hadn't gotten two paces out before the bell rang. "Finally, lunch!" she sighed happily.
She sat down beside Severus as she had started doing recently. She found it easier than sitting with Hagrid. Hagrid was nice and all she just liked her personal space too much to sit beside someone that - of that size. Severus never tried to start a conversation or bother her or anything. But if she asked him for something or spoke to him, he'd always answer. It was very nice.
"Sirius is the most horrible person on the planet." she stated in a whisper once she had sat down.
"I quite agree." Severus muttered shortly in return.
"I hurt all over." She whined.
"poor little Christine" he managed to say that like he didn't care at all but she felt strangely comforted all the same.
"Don't you have some sort of potion for the pain?" she asked and ladled some soup into her bowl.
"Of course I do." was his snappish answer.
"Could I have some?" she sighed.
"Not if you don't say please." he muttered and rolled his eyes.
"Thanks" she smiled weakly. Conversations with Severus. She should write a book about it. He mostly said more with his eyes than he did in words or he said a lot and you didn't understand him at all. He was just a very difficult person to decipher, not to mention talk to.
When her soup was finished she started to look around. She knew a lot of the people here even if they knew nothing of her. Like a Hufflepuff second year, he dreamed to be a Quidditch star and couldn't stand any of his friends and vice versa. Though she didn't know his name. And there was that Rawenclaw forth year, the poor girl. She had seen her often wondering around school a book in hand. But she always looked so lonely.
"Christine, there was a bit of an accident in class... Mr. Finnigan he blew up several ink bottles, could you come by?" Filius Flitwick the odd little man spoke to her politely. She nodded, "I'll take care of it" and she took off. But not before noticing the way Serverus glared at Filius. As if Filius had just stolen something of his. Maybe Filius had stolen something? Probably some potion ingredient. She didn't bother herself with it.
*
She was in class again. With Arabella the strange and Sirius the obnoxious. She was done with the stretching for the day - thank goodness - although she still couldn't touch her toes, but Arabella wanted to get started with something different.
"All right. Kick." Arabella ordered. She sighed wearily and kicked like a five-year-old who was kicking a can. She was tired. She had just spent the whole evening in detention with some Hufflepuff... and it was very early in the morning. No classes had begun yet. And she had only had an hour of sleep. Normally she had at least three hours of sleep. And she was starting to get used to the nightmares. She felt like she would feel a bit odd if no nightmares came with sleep.
"You call that a kick?" Sirius mocked. Then he laughed and shook his head.
"You have to use your whole body, and kick higher - sort of to the side." He ordered and picked her leg up. She almost fell but managed to keep her balance. But he kept pulling her leg upwards. Then he told her to keep still but she couldn't. And when she moved he got frustrated and pushed her painfully into the 'correct' position to kick 'properly'. He held her still and it hurt, it was as if she were being pulled apart, limb by limb. And his hands, even if they were supporting her in very innocent places it still bothered her.
"Let go of me." She hissed coldly. He ignored her and Arabella started to lecture her on how this position enabled her to kick very hard but not use much of her strength. She really wished they would drop dead.
"Let go of me." She repeated, now her tone of voice silenced her in mid speech.
"Oh come on, you'll fall and hurt yourse-" She pushed Sirius away with all her strength. He fell down and she fell with him. She untangled herself from him quickly making sure to kick. When she was on her feet again she noticed that Arabella was looking at the door. She looked at the door too and was pleased to see Severus there.
"Hi" she muttered darkly and went over to him. Then she whispered so the other two couldn't hear.
"save me, they're trying to make me kick"
He sneered at her, then he sneered at Sirius and Arabella. Then slowly his lips curled into a smirk.
"Black's been teaching you to kick? Has he taught you to defend yourself from getting kicked. No? I didn't think so. Why don't I show you a trick. Guarantied to always work." Severus had a glint in his eyes which told her that something was about to happen.
"Thank you, I'd love to see that trick." She answered politely.
"All right then. What about you Black? Are you game?" Severus said this in such a way that if Sirius were to decline he'd look like a coward.
"Yeah. I'm game." Sirius answered. He looked annoyed. For a while the two men just stood there glaring at each other but then Sirius - with much waving of hands - attacked. Severus just stood there patiently. Then at the last moment Severus stepped to the side and Sirius crashed into the wall. She couldn't contain herself. She laughed. She went over to Severus still laughing and leaned on his shoulder. Who looked at her his face betraying no sign of amusement but he didn't push her away. Which was good because she probably would have fallen if he had. This would have been the perfect start of her day if it hadn't been for Damien. After she had gotten over to the wall and sat down he talked to her again.
"I've come to remind you about your choices" He hissed in her ear. She couldn't see him but she could feel him. It was cold. The whole room felt cold and she could see her breath in the air. The other three seemed oblivious to this and Sirius had started arguing with Severus about something.
"I remember my choices. There are two. Live forever or die. Okay now you can go." she thought hoping he'd hear her. Furthermore she hoped he'd go away. Actually she wished he never came. No that wasn't completely true she admitted to herself. She took a twisted pleasure in him coming to her. And he probably knew it. And she could hear the two choices she had echoing in her mind. The longer she thought about it the clearer it became. She didn't have choices really. The third choice was missing. You know, the choice where nothing happens and she just got to get on with her 'life'.
"I'll be coming soon. And then we'll see..." she could feel the warmth returning as his presence faded. This link thing or bond or whatever it was an extreme headache. And so were the two men quarreling like five-year-olds.
"Shut up. Both of you. I have no idea what you were talking about but I'm sure Severus was right. I'm leaving now. Bye." she couldn't believe she actually said that out loud. Severus was staring at her, he looked faintly surprised and worried. Sirius looked furious and Arabella was smiling knowingly for some reason. Probably thinking about her cats...
'right this is the part where I storm out of the room. But I feel too dizzy to move. That's bad right?' she thought as her headache increased. She backed against the wall for support. The interested look on Severus's face disappeared she closed her eyes. When she opened them again everything was blurred for a second. Then her headache went away. Just like that. Severus beaconed for her to follow him. She did. Although Sirius protested loudly and said her class wasn't over. Sirius went ignored, thankfully as she couldn't stand the thought of more fighting.
"Remember what I gave you at Christmas?" Severus asked her all of a sudden. Now he just looked worried and very thoughtful.
"Yes, what has that got to do with anything?" she asked confused. She put her hand over the necklace and felt it jerk out of her hand. She looked at it. It was glowing faintly black and purple and it kept jerking around, it almost seemed annoyed.
"What is this?" She felt even more confused. What did this mean?
"Someone tried to break into your mind. The necklace tried to warn you but you didn't feel it warn you because you're wearing it on the outside of your clothes." He glared at her meaningfully and she put the - now calmer - necklace on the inside of her sweater. Severus looked as though he was thinking very hard.
"When someone breaks into your mind your mind goes off balance. When the outside force leaves your mind it tries to regain balance. Well that's my theory anyway." Severus ranted he made a bit of a sense but not much.
"What happened?" he asked all of a sudden.
"I thought you just told me what happened." She answered. She could glimpse the sunrise through a dirty window. She'd have to clean it. She fumbled for her keys and walked towards a closet.
"I need you to fill in the blanks. What happened to you? Scientific facts aside I mean." Severus asked. He was getting pissed off. He was definitely not a morning person...
"I have to clean this window." she muttered and pored some Magical Mess Remover into a cloth.
"No you have to tell me what happened." Severus ordered stubbornly. Why was he so stubborn? It was annoying. She started wiping the cloth over the smooth surface of the glass. With each stroke it was made easier to see the morning sky. It was beautiful. All golden and red. Gryffindor colors.
"It's no big deal. It's happened before. He doesn't hurt me or anything. He just talks to me." She mumbled reluctantly.
"Who talks to you?" Severus asked quietly. He seemed to know the answer anyway so she didn't answer right away.
"Who?" He asked more loudly and harshly.
"Damien." She snapped at him. "But you already knew that, you know everything don't you. You're just all knowing and he keeps giving me these two choices and I don't know what to do." At first she was just angry at him then she realized Severus hadn't really done anything and she got confused and what had she said?
"Slow down. All right. Now more slowly. Tell me what are the choices he gives you?" He seemed to be struggling to keep his voice calm. Because he looked kind of angry, no more like furious.
"Live forever or die. It seems to be an easy choice right? That's what I thought. But it's not. It would be too easy to just give in and I just keep thinking: 'what if I give in and stay with him forever what happens then?' I mean will he change? Will he treat me any differently? Or will he just continue to be like he's always been? I don't know. I don't know anything." She felt like she was supposed to be crying. Like she was supposed to be hysterical. But she wasn't. She didn't even feel as if she were there at all. She was outside. Down at the lake, watching the sunrise. Watching the daylight color the black water of the lake. She wasn't talking, someone else was.
"But you have a third choice. You have to fight him." Severus said firmly. She looked away from the lake and into his eyes. He didn't look furious anymore, he was back to worried and there was something else... his eyes betrayed nothing. But there was something. It wasn't him it was the atmosphere around them. Tension? No, not tension. Something. She didn't know what.
"No, I can't fight him. Even without the hypnotism. I have never been able to fight him. Why should I start being able to now? You don't know what it's like. Every time I wake up I'm escaping a nightmare. It's always the same nightmare. I'm in danger, just a splinter away from death. Damien is standing over me. He's pushing me closer and closer to death, but then he offers me help. All I have to do is take his hand and everything is all right. But I never take his hand and I fall. And then I wake up." She still had the feeling of not really being there. It wasn't really her saying those things. It was a bit unreal all of it.
"Are you an idiot? Why haven't you told Albus? I mean, why haven't you told someone?" He trailed off, probably noticing the fact that she wasn't in the room. She was somewhere far away. He sighed irritably and walked away. He probably had to tell Albus everything she had just stupidly told him. She sighed and looked back outside the window which was now sparkling clean. The sky had started to look blue instead of a golden red color. The lake reflected the colors and sparkled. The snow glittered.
*
January was nearly over and everything had settled into a routine. At night she patrolled then she slept for about three or four hours, then there was 'fight class' before sunrise, after sunrise Severus helped her with her mind stuff then she went to breakfast. Before lunch she wondered around cleaned stuff which was dirty. After lunch she usually had a nap until classes were over. Then she'd get back up and wonder around some more until supper. She liked things when they were like this. It gave her a sense of security and familiarity. It felt good to know what was about to happen. But that was it. She never actually knew. Damien showed up in her head at the oddest moments. He never really said anything interesting. But he scared her. She could fight him off for about a minute now. But it wasn't enough. He always won. And every time he came the bond between them grew stronger. She could just feel it. Now she was just lying in bed waiting for something. She didn't really know what she was waiting for. But there was something. Her necklace was still so it probably wasn't Damien. If it was Damien he wasn't trying to mess with her head at least. 'This is ridicules' she thought irritably. She got out of bed and walked to her desk. She sat down and stared at the wood. It was once a tree. Just like the paper on the desk. Most of the things in her room were disguised trees; she though sleepily. She was inside a forest. And if she were to forbid anyone to come in here her room would be a forbidden forest. She giggled. She really needed to sleep. But she just couldn't get her eyes to close. There was a picture on her desk. It wasn't something she owned. Probably her uncle's. It was of a man. He was sitting on stone steps. He was holding a flower. It was a nice picture. She wondered of whom it was. She flipped the photo over and read the three words that were scrawled there.
Look behind you.