Chapter 10 – Don't Let Me Go

I miss you too.

Was it possible for her heart to implode?

Spinning on her heel, Sakura fell backwards onto her bed, lips splitting into a wide grin as she read the message once more. It'd come as a surprise – completely out of the blue, since she hadn't messaged him first. However, she also knew that it was his response to earlier that day. Possibly his way of trying to reassure her that they were going to work on things.

How did the meeting go?

The response came swiftly.

Well. Father suggested I attend the second meeting with him. And yours?

Her smile returned, heart once more stuttering happily for the development. Sasuke truly deserved to finally be recognised. The only issue she really had with it all was how long it'd taken for him to gain that recognition. Fugaku should have already known that he could rely on Sasuke. How hard had he worked? How much shit did he put up with?

That's great! Our meeting went well too, I think. We're watching a photo shoot tomorrow to get a feel of things.

It was the most they'd spoken in weeks. She wasn't even upset with herself for staying up so late, despite the fact she would be waking for her run in less than three hours. How could she? They were finally talking. They were communicating. How long had it been since they asked one another about their day? Gods, that question made her think of an old married couple and it irked her that she thought that way. Why should they be any different? Healthy relationships needed communication to work.

They'd agreed to meet once she was done with the photo shoot, though Sakura was secretly hoping that Sasuke would cave and meet with her sooner. Clutching her phone to her chest once she'd sent her goodnight text, she smiled brightly again, heart feeling light for the first time in weeks. Crazy how one seemingly simple conversation could do that to a person, she thought and giggled to herself. It was like she'd become a love-struck preteen again, but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

She turned onto her stomach and eyed the photograph on her nightstand, hope blooming defiantly in her chest. They would make it back to that – to being happy and carefree in their love for one another. Even if Sasuke never outwardly admitted to being in love with her, his actions earlier that day, along with the conversation they'd just had, proved to her that he did in fact love her. Sure, hearing it out loud would be nice, but she knew it wasn't in his character. She didn't want him pretending to be someone he wasn't. She'd known exactly what she was getting herself into when falling in love with him.

Sleeping was difficult, but she'd never felt better as she woke for her run only a handful of hours later. Earphones in and muscles warmed up, Sakura set off at a relaxed pace, unable to wipe the smile from her face for longer than a few seconds at a time, no matter how many times she warned herself she was going to look like a psychopath. The music playing matched her mood: upbeat and cheerful and soon enough, her strides adjusted to each song, matching the tempo.

"Now I'm turning to dust in a world that's twisted. Don't come searching when I go missing. Close your eyes or just try to look away! Don't want to hurt you–"

Was it the running or the phone call that caused her heart to leap into her throat? Coming to a halt, Sakura fell back against a tree, trying to catch her breath as she quickly answered the call, only to frown at her own eagerness when she found that it wasn't who she'd been hoping it to be.

"Good morning, Sakura-san."

"Morning, Itachi-san," she greeted, finally catching her breath. Her frown returned as she noticed she wasn't that disappointed about it being him instead of Sasuke. "Is something wrong?"

There was a faint hum of amusement and after a few moments, she heard a woman speaking in the background. An uncomfortably familiar woman. "It seems you have forgotten our plans," came his light reply. "I am about to join your parents for breakfast."

Oh no. Wide, horrified eyes glanced at the time, widening further at the fact she was late. "I'm so sorry." Already, Sakura was setting off at a brisk jog. "Are they annoying you?"

"Not at all," he said honestly. "They are very welcoming."

Surely that was code for of course they're annoying me, please send help immediately or better yet, get home and save me. Sakura knew her parents well enough to know they possessed the ability to drive saints insane – even Itachi's seemingly never ending patience would be at risk if he was around them long enough. She couldn't have that happen when they were spending the entire day together, could she? After all, Sakura knew she could be equally annoying. She needed his patience to last as long as possible.

"I'll be back soon," she promised.

There was a conversation in the background, followed by, "Your mother would like to know if you are joining us for breakfast?"

Was she right to feel like it was weird having Itachi join her family for breakfast? "Yeah, sure. I'll be there soon."

Fortunately for her, she'd been so hyped up about Sasuke suddenly seeking out a conversation that she drove to her usual running spot. Normally, she ran there, ran a few laps, then ran home again. It was a tiring workout, but certainly rewarding. Already, she could manage the whole session on top of extra laps and her skin looked amazing, grateful for the exercise.

It'd been twenty minutes since his phone call when Sakura returned home, apologising profusely until she came to an abrupt halt in the doorway to the dining room, frowning at the sight of the apparently enjoyable breakfast. She'd interrupted a conversation between her father and Itachi, the latter greeting her with a small smile. Weirdly enough, it wasn't a "dear Gods, save me" kind of smile. It was the exact opposite.

"Go and clean up," her mother ordered cheerfully, shooing her from the room, the smile on her face making Sakura's frown deepen further. "I won't have you stinking the place out." Once they were out of earshot, she whispered, "Itachi-san's certainly grown into a fine man, hasn't he?"

"Mom!" came Sakura's horrified hiss.

"Oh, don't be so uptight," she replied with a giggle.

How shameful, was what she wanted to respond with. Instead, Sakura disappeared before her mother could say anything else that could potentially scar her for life and force her to see Itachi in a new light, washing rigorously like that alone would banish the perverted excitement she'd seen in her mother's eyes from her mind. Honestly! The woman had been married almost twenty freaking years. She wouldn't dream of disrespecting Sasuke by shamelessly ogling another man, especially not in front of his children.

Marriage. With Sasuke. Children. With Sasuke.

The blush on her face raged proudly, she saw in the mirror, green eyes growing wide at the thought that ran through her mind. Of course, she'd thought about the future with Sasuke many times before, but… Well, they were close to the settling down age, weren't they? The age old people would drone on and on about, saying things like, "When I was your age, I was married, had two kids and owned my own home."

Pushing away the childish thoughts, Sakura turned towards her bedroom, though couldn't deny she was distracted during the tasks of dressing and applying her makeup. By the time she returned to the dining area, everyone else had already started eating, too hungry to bother waiting any longer. It was only fair – she'd taken too long.

"You certainly took your time," her mother chastised. Cutting her pancakes up delicately, she shut her eyes, adding haughtily, "It's rude when we have a guest. You know that."

With her eyes closed, Sakura rolled her eyes and sat beside Itachi, inwardly smiling when she noticed his struggle with the toppings. Once conversation resumed between her parents, she leaned closer, asking, "Have you ever had pancakes before, Itachi-san?"

"No," came his equally quiet reply. "Any suggestions?"

"Well, you could always go with the traditional toppings like my parents – either syrup or fruit – or you could go down the same healthy route as me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Which is?"

"Chocolate." She grinned and grabbed the jug, pouring the melted chocolate onto her pile of pancakes. "Sometimes with fruit. Sometimes without."

"Healthy." His words were dripping with sarcasm and when she looked back to him, she saw a teasing smirk.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" asked her mother. No doubt she'd noticed their hushed conversation and wanted to know all the details – no matter how minuscule they were. "Anything exciting?"

Anything scandalous, was what she really wanted to ask. Swallowing her mouthful of a chocolate smothered pancake, she barely restrained herself from narrowing her eyes. Mouthing off to her mother was just plain rude. To do so in front of a guest was even worse. Not only would she be ripped a new one from her mother, but her father would get involved, also. Only the Gods knew how wound up he had to be to finally get involved.

"Itachi-san recently graduated from university, so I asked him to give me a few life hacks," she said at length, ignoring Itachi when he glanced her way. Fortunately for her, he hid his confusion well. With a shrug, Sakura added, "And there's the added bonus that he studied abroad, too. He might be able to help me finally make my decision."

Obviously intrigued, her father perked up and grinned. "That's great. You've been agonising over this decision for over a year now, Sakura. You need to make your choice soon."

"Don't lecture her, Kizashi," warned Mebuki with a firm tone that was tinged with annoyance. "It's not an easy decision."

"I know it's not, but all she's been doing is making lists about the pros and cons of staying or going – it's gotten her nowhere." His fork was overloaded with pancake and fruit, however Sakura knew he wouldn't struggle to fit it all in his mouth. He'd perfected the technique before she was even born. "Maybe with Itachi-san's experience, it'll help her clear her head." Oh, great. He was back to the lecture, she realised when he glanced in her direction once more. "You can't put your life on hold for friends, Sakura. It's stupid."

"On the contrary, Haruno-san," Itachi interjected smoothly. "Sakura-san's loyalty and love for her friends could strengthen her resolve, should she find herself struggling with her degree. Say there is an emergency, of some sort. A dear friend of hers is in need of medical assistance, or they could die. Sakura-san would know how to act."

Thank you, she wanted to say. That was the point she always tried to make. What if she was studying abroad and lost her passion? What if she forgot why she wanted to become a doctor because of how hard it was? Having her friends around would be a huge motivator. But…

"They would also distract her," her father argued, like he always did. Another humongous mouthful and he carried on, saying, "No offence to your brother or family, Itachi-san, but Sakura's mindset is always Sasuke-kun this, and Sasuke-kun that. Distance would serve her well. Help her grow more independence."

"I don't disagree with you there," replied Itachi, both stunning and aggravating her. "She must gain independence in order to maintain a successful career as a doctor."

"Not only that, but she needs to be more level-headed too."

What happened to defending her? Bastard. Gritting her teeth, she cut into her pancakes with unnecessary force, pretending to ignore the two supposedly omniscient men. Opposite her, she noticed her mother eyeing her sceptically, if not warily and she replied to said look with a strained smile. The lie wasn't bought and Mebuki frowned.

"Now, now," Mebuki finally said, interrupting the conversation. "This decision is Sakura's to make. If she decides to study away from home, then I will support that decision and admire her bravery. If she studies in Konoha, then I will be happy because my only child is still here with me."

Thank you, Mom, she cheered. Her involvement in the conversation had the two men growing silent, nodding once in agreement. It wasn't until that moment that Itachi seemed to realise he was supposed to be defending her and he met her eye, offering a small, apologetic smile. Her reply was to mutter traitor under her breath.

But instead of being angry with his response, why did it make her stomach twist when he gave a low chuckle?

At some point during breakfast, they made the decision to go to the photo shoot in Itachi's car. It didn't matter to her – she relished the break. Driving was great and definitely better than being a slave to public transport, but after passing her test, Sakura felt as though all she ever did was drive. Friends – or supposed friends – who hadn't passed their tests would hint for lifts and like the idiot she was, Sakura would go out of her way to appease them.

"Have you forgiven me?"

Oh, that smile was… frustrating. "You know, I think in the short time we've been friends, you've apologised to me more than Sasuke-kun has in our entire relationship."

For a second, the smile faltered, but he regained composure as they approached his car. It would be the first time she'd ever been in his car, Sakura realised the moment she saw it, her jaw threatening to drop. The Bentley insignia stood out proudly in contrast to the smoky grey body, its sleek design telling her without words how much it more than likely cost. She was betting it was in the six, if not seven digits. However, she wouldn't pretend to know about cars. She knew her own, she somewhat knew Sasuke's and that was about it. All she did know, was that Bentleys were not cheap. And from what she'd heard about them, they were worth every penny.

"That is because I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong. If Sasuke was to apologise for every mistake he made, he-"

"Sasuke-kun isn't afraid to admit when he's wrong, either," she argued hotly. "We've been talking-"

"But has he apologised?"

"In his own way-"

"Sakura-san."

She sighed and stopped at the passenger side of the car, offering him a withering glare over the roof. "No. He hasn't."

"And still you stay."

Where was this attack coming from? "What are you trying to say, Itachi-san?"

There was no immediate answer. Instead, Itachi slid into his car, appearing as graceful as ever and it was with a groan that Sakura followed his example. The interior was sleek and beautiful and she was suddenly self-conscious about any dirt she may have carried in with her. Unlike her own car, which was cluttered with spare shoes or jackets, air fresheners and a wide variety of CDs, Itachi's was spotless. The freshness of the seats, the sheen of the dashboard and the overall cleanliness of the car informed her that he'd recently had it valeted.

Also unlike her own car, no music played when the engine started – only a news station filled their uncomfortable silence, telling them of the difficulties of the world, adding to the discomfort when it reported the brutal assault on a young man on the outskirts of Konoha. Without pause Itachi switched the station, turning the volume down so that the music became mere background noise.

"The choice you must make will shape your entire future," he began. Before continuing (for she knew he wasn't anywhere near done lecturing her), Itachi fastened his seat belt, glancing towards her own and remaining silent until she sighed and buckled herself in. It was only then that he continued, saying, "Yet you hesitate because of your feelings for my brother."

"And my friends-"

"You are lying to yourself."

Where was her usual anger at his accusations? Well, not accusations. The truth. Would she stay in Konoha for Ino? No. Would she stay for Naruto? No, but she would ache inside, would probably cry endlessly, while saying goodbye to him. She wasn't even entirely sure that she would stay for her parents. But Sasuke… Gods, why was it so different when it came to him?

They remained stationary, locked in their stalemate. Was he trying to give her time to think? To realise her faults? She already knew how pathetic her way of thinking was. Putting aside everything for the sake of her boyfriend – someone who never apologised despite being in the wrong, someone who never told her she was beautiful, never said that he loved her too – was pathetic. But what could she say?

"Have you ever been in love, Itachi-san?" she asked him quietly, tilting her head to the side to meet his gaze. "So helplessly and frustratingly in love with someone?" The breaking of their eye contact was all she needed to know and Sakura's lips twitched, almost smiling. "I don't stick around because I like feeling this way. I stay with Sasuke-kun because I know deep down he loves me too."

Dark eyes flew open. "He hasn't even told you-"

"That doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." There was a firmness in his expression, his lips turning down at the corners, eyebrows knitting together. "If this – if your relationship with my brother is what you consider to be love, then forgive me, but I am glad I have not experienced it for myself."

His words hurt, there was no denying that, but she remained strong, never once looking away from him as she replied, "That's why you can't possibly understand. Love is irrational. You'll repeatedly give your all for the one you love, even if they only give a quarter of themselves back."

Pulling the gear stick into reverse, Itachi muttered, "My brother does not deserve you."

Sakura was unable to look away as he turned in his seat, placing his arm behind her seat while he focused on reversing out of her drive. It didn't matter to her that his expression was far from approachable, that the tension in his muscles screamed his displeasure at the situation. In that moment, she…

The spell broke the moment he faced forward and Sakura swallowed hard, thankful that she was finally free. Her mind screamed to know what the hell that was about, how his words and the raw power she could feel in the air around them could disarm her in such a… pitiful way, could make every rational thought come to a screeching halt. But there was no answer.

What the hell was happening?

"From the top," Kurotsuchi ordered and folded her arms over her chest, assessing them proudly. "I think you guys have given me more inspiration."

They circled one another with dragging feet, arms draped around their waists to keep their bodies close, eyes drifting shut when their foreheads touched, noses bumping lightly, giving her an overwhelming sense of longing.

While watching their dance, she couldn't help but feel like an intruder. There was so much intimacy. So much trust and respect. The male dancer's hands skimmed across her skin, slowly lowering her to the ground, their bodies grazing, noses brushing, lips almost touching. But it was their expressions that entranced her and Sakura found herself holding her breath, admiring the raw emotion. Were they acting? Did they really love each other? Who knew?

She was on the edge of her seat, admiring the dancers with wide eyes. It was easy tuning Kurotsuchi out as the dark haired woman snapped away, her camera lighting the darkened room with its powerful flashes. The scenery was dark, the floor sinking somewhat and filled with a couple of inches of water – it came from the sprinklers above them, designed in such a way that it gave the illusion of being rain. It was simple, yet elegant. The main focus was their love story – their dance sharing their feelings with the world.

How it was possible for Kurotsuchi to move so fast when the female dancer was lowered to the ground, fingertips sprinkling water on herself and her partner when her arm splashed it upwards, Sakura would never know. She didn't really care.

"You will fall out of your seat."

She didn't care. "Do you think we'll look like that?"

Sitting back in his seat, Itachi surveyed the dancers critically before saying, "Depending on what is required of us, it is entirely possible."

Green eyes met dark and her heart warmed when she noticed Itachi seemed to be in awe of the dancers, too. She smiled at him, brushing her hair behind her ear in an almost shy gesture. They really were spectacular, but she wished he'd drop the expression when looking her way. People would get the wrong impression.

"I think we can do it," Sakura told him.

"You missed a beat!" came the angered voice of the dance teacher, startling her. "Start again!"

There was a collective groan throughout the room and she spotted a vein throbbing in Kurotsuchi's forehead, but the woman was silent, retaining an air of professionalism despite the rage they could all sense. Sakura had to hand it to her. She would've lost her shit – was close to it, in fact. That idiot teacher shattered the beautiful vision, breaking the enchantment the dancers had on her.

"I'm watching myself, drifting away. A vision so darkened. I cannot stay."

The dancers started their routine from the beginning, returning to their intimate circling of one another.

"I'm reaching out wide, trying to catch myself before I fall. Too little too late. Can you save me?"

His hands returned to her body, never quite touching as they instead skimmed over her skin, leaving her yearning for more as she leaned in closer.

"Where do we go when we walk on light? Who do we call at the edge of night? Carry me close like the tear drops in your eyes."

Their foreheads touched, fingers entwining, lips grazing, all the while the circling continued, growing slower and slower, once more leaving Sakura on the edge of her seat.

"Don't let me go! Hold me in your beating heart."

The movements suddenly grew strong as the woman was lifted from the ground, her body contorting around the man's as they spun together. Smoothly, she was lowered to the ground, their chests brushing together as long arms dangled behind her, fingertips touching the water in a teasing gesture.

"I won't let go! Forever is not enough."

Her thigh came up over his hip, the water she'd been toying with splashing through the air, covering their already soaked bodies and once more, she was leaned back, but was followed closely by his, their bodies pressed together.

"Let me lay my head down on the shadow by your side."

"Uchiha-san, Haruno-san? Would you care to follow me? We would like to get your measurements for your outfits."

Damn it, the illusion was shattered again, frustrating her. However, she could not argue. It was clear from the serious expression on Kurotsuchi's face that she had her work cut out for her. Going with the costume designer would take one less stress from her list. So, without another thought, Sakura stood and followed the designer with Itachi only a second behind her, secretly hoping they could watch the whole routine without any interruptions later.

"Don't let me go!"

Gods, it was beautiful.

The designer had decided she would go first, for her dress would take longer than Itachi's tuxedo. Stepping closer to the mirror, she turned to the side, admiring the design of the lace and bodice when the door to their small dressing room reopened. Via the reflection, she saw Itachi cautiously enter and she presumed he paused, hesitated, just in case she was indecent.

"Is this okay?" she asked unsurely while looking into the mirror once more, frowning at the fit of the dress. Whenever she thought of wedding dresses, she thought of traditional dresses. With the whole puffed out skirt and the corset back and… The one she was wearing was a complete opposite. It was form fitting, accentuating everything and truth be told, it wasn't bad. She felt oddly confident in the dress.

"You look beautiful."

She quickly met Itachi's gaze, lips parting in shock. Had he truly meant that? That she was beautiful? Was she? The look on his face told her he was being serious, but… Shit. Shit. Lowering her gaze, she tried her best to calm her twisting stomach, wondering just what in the hell was going on with her.

"What is it?" he asked, shutting the door behind himself, giving them more privacy. She was guessing that, since the costume designer didn't join him, she was done with them for the time being. For that, Sakura was both grateful and wary.

How pathetic would it be to admit nobody had ever called her beautiful before? She turned slowly, facing him, really seeing him. It wasn't until that moment that she noticed his tuxedo, noticed how it fit his body, accentuating his muscled chest and arms. Even when he was in his swimming trunks, she'd never really taken that much notice in his physique. Now, however, she felt as though she could appreciate the way he looked. As soon as that thought popped into her mind, though, the twisting of her stomach increased and her tongue felt thick. Was it guilt for admiring him? Her boyfriend's brother?

"I…"

When words failed her, realisation had Itachi sighing, an expression she couldn't fully understand flitting over his face. Then, he repeated his words from earlier, telling her, "My brother truly doesn't deserve you."

Maybe not, but…

She loved him.

Repeating that to herself, Sakura turned towards the mirror again, assessing her outfit. All of the awe towards it had vanished and while she certainly still felt confident wearing such a beautiful gown, she felt that the thick tension in the air destroyed the moment. It ripped away all thoughts from earlier that day, of her marrying Sasuke and having his children. Twisting and leaning down, she pulled on the train, watching it trail along the wooden flooring. The lace really was stunning, the intricate detail something to marvel at.

"Sakura-san?"

Comparing the two brothers was so, so wrong, but telling herself that didn't matter because she still continued to do it. She still wished Sasuke would call her beautiful. She wished he would spend time with her family, even doing something as mundane as eating breakfast together. She wished he could hold conversations with her parents as comfortably as Itachi had, instead of seeming uncomfortable and tense, instead of doing it just to fill the silence or pass the time while waiting for her. She wanted him to fit there like Itachi had.

It was so stupid, she mentally screamed at herself when her head fell into her hands, trying and failing to cover her horrific crying face. The tears came out of nowhere, surprising Itachi and she sensed him faltering by the door, no doubt wondering what the hell set her off this time. Oh, it was a never ending list. It really was. Was it the compliment? Was it that it came from the wrong brother? Was it wishing Sasuke to be different? Was it knowing deep down he would never do any of the things Itachi had that day? Or was it something else entirely? Was it the guilt burning in her belly? Was it that she liked Itachi complimenting her? Was it her no longer seeing visions of herself marrying Sasuke? What was it?

"Please, don't cry," he quietly pleaded and she heard him stepping forward, felt him hesitating. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not that," she whined pitifully into her hands, the words muffled.

"It's not?"

She shook her head, but then shrugged. "I don't think it is."

There was a sigh and it startled her how much closer it sounded, making her chest constrict when she quickly looked up, meeting Itachi's saddened gaze. He was so close, with less than a foot between them, leaving her instincts to yell at her that he was far too close. Closer than a boyfriend's brother should be. What did she do? Did she take a step back? Why was she even questioning what she should do? Of course she should step back! They needed more space. Distance. Damn it, why wasn't she moving?

"Why can't you see that you deserve better?" Itachi asked, voice quiet. It struck her that it sounded more like he was talking to himself rather than her, his brow furrowing like he was in deep thought. "As much as I love my brother, Sakura-san, your relationship is toxic. How can you possibly be happy with someone who doesn't even tell you how beautiful you are?" Her heart leapt into her throat, the tears in her wide eyes freezing. "He won't even tell you that he loves you."

"Itachi-san, this-"

"Despite it all, you continue to defend him. I think that may be the most frustrating part of all." And she could see how frustrating it was, because Itachi seemed genuinely annoyed with her, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. "You…"

It must have been her tears restarting that made him move, his uncertainty painfully obvious in the way his arms came around her, hands faltering before pressing to her back comfortingly. He was much too tall for her to reach his shoulder, so instead her face was buried in his chest, the smell of the new tuxedo strong. That thought didn't last long, however, when her senses quickly became overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on her bare back, the design of the dress leaving it on show. It took her breath away, eyes growing impossibly wide. If she pulled away, her cheeks would be bright red, telling him that his touch had an effect on her.

"If you can't bring yourself to leave him, despite how toxic the relationship is, then please, know that you can confide in me," he murmured, chin coming to rest on the top of her head. It didn't seem to matter to him that her arms were lax between them. "Do not bottle it up."

A swift knock on the door had her heart stuttering and she pulled away as it opened, though her attempt to hide the tender moment was pointless. Her red cheeks, teary eyes and their close proximity gave everything away. If anything, her pulling away so fast made it seem worse than what it was. It made it appear as though they had something to hide, when in actuality, all it was, was Itachi comforting her.

Deidara faltered, eyeing them knowingly before tipping his chin towards the corridor behind him. "The old woman wants you out there for more measurements."

She couldn't look at Itachi as she left the room, didn't want to know whether he was watching her while she was leaving. It didn't matter if he was. Him hugging her was… It was improper. Absolutely inappropriate. It shouldn't have happened and it wouldn't happen again. While her family wasn't as traditional as others, she knew Sasuke's was and for Itachi to hug her like that… Gods, what was he thinking? What was she thinking? Why hadn't she pushed him away? Why did she soak up his compliments and attention instead of telling him how wrong it was? Why was she still thinking about how it felt to have his skin on hers?

What was happening?

A/N - I don't know if any of you read my other stories, so I'll say it again just in case I do go on a hiatus. My mum passed away about a month after I had my son and I've been seriously drained between caring for him, finding somewhere for my sister and stepdad to live after they were evicted from their home, clearing out said home and whatever else. Just know that if I do go on hiatus, it's only a hiatus. I will be coming back to my stories, no matter how long it takes.