Much love to you all, I appreciate every review more than I can say!
This chapter is... a little heavier than usual but it is all going somewhere.
-HTTYD-
"How can you like men and not have a thing for David Tennant? It's just impossible!"
Hiccup chuckled, watching Astrid pout in confusion.
"Because he sounds just like my uncle Spite. Can never unhear that."
Astrid shook her head with a bemused expression, lifted a drink to her mouth and took a swallow.
"This beer is terrible, we should never buy it again."
"That's my flavoured water... how drunk are you?"
It was their weekly pizza night, quieter than usual with Eret away at work and the whole Viggo and Ryker thing was weighing heavily on Hiccups mind. He had taken painkillers earlier, so he wasn't drinking. Astrid messed with his tenuous self-control anyway, and tramadol left him spacey.
Adding alcohol could be disastrous, not to mention injurious to mix with tablets. Astrid lifted her hand, waved it in a 'so-so' motion and teetered slightly.
"Not that drink. Drunk. I lost count."
Hiccup checked the box, saw Astrid had put away twice as many bottles as usual; he had bought it new only two days ago, and nobody had opened it before that evening. Heather and Dagur had still been there when Hiccup left for work, but Astrid was alone when he got back to shower and order pizza. He realised Astrid had barely touched the food, which was unusual for her, but when she ate she didn't get drunk as fast.
"No more alcohol for you tonight."
"Hey! I'm a big girl, I can monitor my own drinkness. Drunkness."
Moving any unopened bottles from where the precariously tipping Astrid could reach, Hiccup went back for unfinished ones and tipped them down the sink. Astrid yelled in the background while he made her coffee and water.
"You want to tell me why you're trying to get relentlessly smashed after already being drunk last night?"
Astrid had a half-decent alcohol tolerance. If she was actually drunk, it was usually because she was trying to be.
"You wouldn't understand. I don't really understand. I just know I don't want to think about it right now."
Well, that made very little sense. Hiccup frowned, nudged the glass of water toward Astrid and watched her drink it in little swallows. She was slightly hunched in, knees drawn up tighter to her chest than Astrid's usual lazy-W posture.
He knew her body language pretty well by now.
"Astrid?"
"I don't want to have this con-... convo... talky thing... whatever. Drunk. So can we drop it?"
Compared to Eret, who could scarcely remember his own name when drunk let alone speak clearly, Astrid was amazingly coherent.
"Alright. But no more alcohol. Drink your water."
Astrid grumbled, but finished the glass and curled up a little tighter, eyeing the pizza with a wary eye before reaching a hand out to take a slice.
"Do you want to crash here tonight? So you aren't alone with potential alcohol poisoning?"
"I haven't had that much."
"But you want to stay here?"
She shrugged, skillfully avoiding answering by filling her mouth with pizza. Hiccup took that to mean assent, but that Astrid didn't want to admit she didn't want to be alone tonight. He wasn't surprised; Eret still had the odd nightmare, there were still nights he curled up in Hiccup's arms shaking like a leaf.
"I'd like it if you stayed. I'll be worried about you otherwise."
Astrid absolutely knew what he was doing, but played along with Hiccup's ruse.
"We can't have that."
Smiling, Hiccup retrieved Astrid's glass and refilled it. She finished the cooling coffee, ate more pizza and soon the residual drunken state she was in made her lazy, pliant. Hiccup found himself with Astrid leant against him, heart pounding with the memory of her dancing with him the night before, her arms around his bare torso that morning. He had a t-shirt on now, but her body heat soaked through where her arm was slung across his stomach.
"I wish I had what you guys have."
Astrid spoke softly; she had gone so quiet Hiccup almost thought she was falling asleep.
"An open relationship?"
"Not that. You guys are always so cute together, you always make each other smile no matter what. You can just tell that you love each other by looking. Nobody has ever looked at me that way."
She almost pulled away; Hiccup placed his arm on her shoulders to say she didn't have to.
"They will. You had a bad time with a bad guy, but that doesn't mean every relationship will be like that. You're smart and funny and sweet, adventurous and exciting. Viggo might not have appreciated that, but he's one guy. There are lots more for you to go exploring, but only when you're ready to."
"Guess so. Not sure about sweet."
Hiccup chuckled, patting her shoulder gently.
"If you want, I'll come back and be your pillow but I gotta pee."
Astrid huffed.
"But you're so comfy!"
She did let him up, pouting and swaying as she sat up. Hiccup ignored the loss of her body heat, got up to head to the bathroom. When he returned, Astrid was curled up cuddling a pillow, eyes wet.
"Hey now, what's wrong?"
"Doesn't matter. Just... come here?"
Hiccup sat back down, let Astrid curl into him again and reminded himself she was vulnerable and sad. This wasn't for him to enjoy. It was to prove he valued their friendship over his stupid crush. And he did. Hiccup would happily keep his feelings tamped down until they went away, and stay Astrid's friend.
"Will you take my braid out for me? I have pizza hands and you just washed yours. I hope."
Oh, that was just unfair. Hiccup nodded, swallowing thickly as Astrid sat up and faced away from him. Her hair tie came out easily, blonde hair braided in a long, thick pattern slowly falling away until Hiccup had successfully combed out her hair with his fingers. Astrid let out a low, throaty sound that settled hotly in Hiccup's gut, made him retract his hands from silken strands.
"Hey, why'd you stop? Nobody ever plays with my hair."
Because I don't trust myself.
"You asked me to take out your braid. I have."
"Mhmm. Bathroom is... thatta way."
Seemingly talking to herself, Astrid stood up and stumbled off to the bathroom. She was about to wash her hands, could easily have taken her hair out herself and Hiccup wouldn't be trying to ignore that he was aroused because of her damned hair and that sound. Astrid seemed custom-made to test him.
He reminded himself Astrid was drunk and scared and trusting him, that Hiccup was a safe place for Astrid to retreat to and she deserved better from him. He had managed his attraction to Eret for the better part of a year before the kiss at the tattoo studio; he could certainly do so with Astrid.
Astrid didn't come back for a while, and Hiccup began to worry she had fallen or got sick. Standing up, he went through and found her sitting on his and Eret's bed. It was a strange sight; their bed was for them, that was why they had the sofa bed for... sleepovers. So they always had somewhere that was just theirs.
"Eret said you don't bring people in here. I think I asked him how come you never walked in on each other in bed with someone. He said you did, but you could always just hurry past to your room."
"And you wanted to... check?"
"No. Just to see if it was comfier than the sofa bed."
She held a hand out, asking Hiccup to help her up. He took it, gently got her to her feet. Astrid stumbled slightly, fell against him.
"Careful now, I'm not the steadiest guy."
"Not what Eret said. He said you keep him steady mentally and he keeps you steady physically. Yin and yang."
Astrid's hand was still in his, the other drawing a loose yin-yang symbol on his chest over his t-shirt. She looked up at his face, eyes surprisingly clear despite her out-of-usual-character behaviour that he put down to her intoxicated, emotional state.
"Do you wanna know something?"
"Ok?"
"I like you."
Hiccup quirked an eyebrow, trying to think clearly while faced with her hair, golden soft bathed in his bedroom light.
"I like you too. That's how friendships tend to work."
Astrid cocked her head slightly, hand splaying across his chest as her hair fell across her shoulders.
"Yeah. Guess so."
Her hands fell away, and Astrid turned back toward the living room. Somehow, despite having no real clue what, Hiccup felt like he had done something to upset her.
"When does Eret come back?"
"Uh... day after tomorrow. Why?"
"Couldn't remember. M'tired."
Hiccup nodded in agreement - it was late.
"Alright. Watch out, I'll pull the sofa bed out."
In a rare show of loneliness, Astrid looked up at him.
"Will you stay until I fall asleep?"
Having been about to pull out the sofa bed, Hiccup had a flash of ridiculous inspiration he wholly expected to regret later.
"Come sleep in with me."
"W-what?"
Hiccup realised how that sounded, held his hands up in a show of 'no touch'.
"Platonically. I'll stay til you fall asleep and not have to move again after."
Astrid bit her lip, eyed Hiccup warily.
"That's against the rules."
"Astrid, you're not a one night stand. I'm not trying to make a move on you. You slept in a bed with Heather and Dagur last night. This is no different."
"Really?"
"Astrid, if you want more reassurances... you're drunk. I wouldn't touch anybody who couldn't drive themselves home legally."
That seemed to soothe her worries, and Astrid nodded. Followed him to his bedroom, then hesitated.
"What's wrong?"
"Just... this feels ridiculous. I live right next door and I'm afraid to be alone and you just think I'm crazy."
Hiccup sighed inwardly, reached out and pulled Astrid into a hug. He paid no attention whatsoever to the way her hair brushed against his arm, to the way she moulded herself against him.
Ok, maybe a little attention.
"I don't think you're crazy. I think you're upset and you need a friend. I also think you've had too much to drink and could do with sleeping it off to regret in the morning. Now come on, get into bed. I'm just going to brush my teeth and get some water."
Hiccup filled his water bottle, then filled another glass for Astrid. She was already curled up, peeking out of the covers and Hiccup felt the familiar flutter he got when Astrid looked like she just belonged in their lives.
"Water milady."
"Thanks."
Hiccup smiled, sat down on the bed and realised Astrid was now about to see him take off his leg.
"It's ok. Your leg doesn't bother me."
A naturally light sleeper, Hiccup wasn't surprised to wake up in the night. Astrid had gone to sleep facing away from him, but he woke as she wriggled into his side. Still fast asleep, that was. Hiccup supposed she had been embraced by Heather last night, probably wanted that similar comfort and sought it in her sleep. Smiling as she stopped fidgeting - he couldn't help but be happy Astrid trusted him so - Hiccup went back to sleep.
When he woke again, Astrid was still out cold, curled against his side with an arm residing across his stomach.
And Eret was standing over the bed looking admittedly puzzled. Hiccup held a finger to his lips, carefully slid from Astrid's embrace. He put on his leg and made his way out of the bedroom, spotting the brace on Eret's wrist that answered why he was back early.
"It's really not what it looks like. I... I can't tell you everything, but Astrid got shook up by something, and got pretty wasted last night. She just didn't want to be alone. Nothing happened."
"H, relax. I believe you. It was just... surprising is all."
Smiling as Eret wrapped his uninjured arm around Hiccup, he indicated the brace.
"How'd you hurt your wrist?"
"I could make up a heroic tale, but in reality I lost my grip on a tough hold and pulled something trying to slow my fall. I gotta call work and tell them I'm off for a day or two, only wore this" Eret peeled off the wrist brace "to stop me bending it too much while driving."
As the initial happiness to see Eret and awkward explanation of the blonde in their bed faded, Hiccup was again reminded of what he had learned. What he couldn't tell Eret any more than he could tell Astrid.
"You ok H?"
"Oh. Yeah. Just realised how bad I gotta pee."
The living room was a mess; Hiccup usually tidied up but last night had been a bit strange after all. Laughing, Eret waved him off to the bathroom and Hiccup hastened to empty his bladder. He was intensely uncomfortable about lying to Eret - he had never lied to his boyfriend, it was a cornerstone of their relationship.
But Astrid's secret wasn't his to tell.
Brushing his teeth, Hiccup wondered if he could convince one to confide in the other... then he wouldn't break any confidence and they could make the connection themselves. Padding back out, Hiccup found Eret looking utterly beautiful making him coffee. Breath fresh, he leant up and kissed said wonderful boyfriend in proper greeting.
"Miss me?"
"Always."
While the hot brew cooled to drinkable temperature, Hiccup started tidying up leftover pizza (that Eret claimed some of for breakfast) and empty bottles. Eret held up the recycling box to reduce the noise of them falling in, and they seemed to manage without waking Astrid.
"Here" Hiccup rooted through the first aid box "use this for your wrist."
"Thanks H."
Eret applied the muscle rub to his skin, watched Hiccup place a blister pack of painkillers on the side - Astrid was likely going to have one hell of a headache.
"You got work today?"
"Nope, tomorrow. And while I generally advocate a healthy meal, I'm thinking when Astrid joins the land of the living I'm thinking we could go out for breakfast?"
Smiling, Eret inclined his head in agreement. Astrid woke shortly after Hiccups second coffee, hair a sleep-mussed halo that she was patting down. Upon seeing Eret, Astrid blinked.
"How long was I asleep?"
"I'm back early. Found you in bed with my boyfriend."
Astrid's eyes widened, and Hiccup glared at his joker of a boyfriend.
"It wasn't what it looked like."
Chuckling, Eret got up and held out painkillers and water to Astrid.
"I know. I trust my boyfriend."
Astrid took the offered medical assistance for her hangover, knocking back pills and fluids eagerly. Hiccup watched she and Eret, remembering what Astrid had said last night about yin and yang. Wondered if she was privy to a fact he'd learnt from a friend he had had at university, who happily lived in a polycule.
There was an image with a third segment, which he was pretty sure was called a ying-yang-yuan.
"Hey, H was thinking we could go get breakfast. You game?"
"Ugh. Let me go take a shower before deciding about food."
"That's fair. You go ahead, I gotta unpack from my trip and Hiccup needs to get dressed. Sadly he can't go out naked. Mmm."
Eret pouted, then grabbed his bag and started digging through it while Astrid waved vaguely, headed out to go to her own place for hot water and fresh clothes. Hiccup picked up his drawing pad, unable to resist itchy fingers compelling him to sketch out the yin-yang-yuan.
"Hey Eret?"
"Yeah Hic?"
"I... no, never mind."
Eret eyed him oddly, saw the pad and pencil in hand.
"It about your drawing? I'll pose naked again if you want."
Hiccup felt the smile steal across his face, loving how Eret could always find the joy in him.
"No, it's not about that. It's fine."
"If it didn't matter you wouldn't have thought about saying anything."
"Ok. I think... I think you should talk to Astrid about Ryker."
The trauma response hadn't gone entirely; Eret froze, muscles tense and hand twitching toward his chest.
"What the Hel for?"
Formulating a way to bring it up without giving it all away, Hiccup chose his words carefully.
"Because I think Astrid needs to know that people as happy together as we are now can have had bad relationships in the past. She moved here after a bad breakup, and I think you can relate to her on a different level to me."
"Why me?"
Hiccup finished the circle he was drawing, folded the cover of his sketchpad down.
"Because I'm the quiet, sensitive geek with a metal leg. You and Astrid are both fierce and strong with a love of adventure. I think she needs to hear that that doesn't make you invincible."
"What the Hel did I miss in two days that's got you bringing this up?"
Tapping his pencil rhythmically, Hiccup could only shrug.
"I can't tell you any more than I could tell Astrid about Ryker. But if you show her it is not a weakness, maybe she'll actually open up to you. Hel, to us. She's comfortable with us and we know things like how she takes her coffee and that she isn't a morning person. But... I don't think we know her."
Eret's jaw flexed as he thought, before nodding.
"Yeah, I guess so. She's definitely holding back on us."
"Well... so are you. So am I. Not about bad exes, but... yeah."
Hiccup put down his pad, stood up.
"I'm gonna get dressed."
As he sat working his jeans on over his leg, Hiccup realised he hadn't been giving Eret enough credit. He trusted Hiccup's judgement, his word. He couldn't share Astrid's secret, that much was true, but maybe he ought to stop hiding the budding crush.
Three shows of honesty. One for each of them. It felt right.
-HTTYD-
Wow this chapter went on. But! Hey, you'll get some stories and maybe some Astrid POV next chapter.