Chapter Ten
An Eternity
Theo examined Joanne for any signs of shock. Surprisingly there was none. She was a tough girl, a little too tough.
Once they fed her, they avoided questions by sitting her in front of the television insisting that she watch it.
With an hour and a half of promises to further explain magic Hermione finally was able to get Joanne into bed. She told her a story - a true story - of how they found out about Hogwarts. She told of the letter, the Headmaster Albus Dumbledore coming to her house, the boat ride to the ancient castle that held countless secrets. When she was telling the feast to her Joanne's eyes slipped closed.
Tiredly Hermione shuffled to the lounge. She fell back into the couch beside Theo laying her head on his shoulder as he circled an arm around her shoulders.
"Draco was right," she sighed. "It was better for Joanne not to know."
He kissed the part in her hair. "Like every Squib she'll learn how to deal."
"When did you two think..."
"Like Muggle technology our magic improves. Healers are now able to tell when a child is a Squib. It saves a lot of worrying, and unnecessary waiting."
"I can't believe it... She's a Malfoy, and a Lovegood. They're both Pureblood's..."
"Don't you know, Hermione? Blood has nothing to do with it."
"If only there was a way to give her magic."
"I'd give it if I could, but it doesn't work that way."
"I know... Does Luna?"
"Draco sent her an owl when she was three. She said something about bugs... Didn't make any sense. He refused to put bugs in her ears."
She laughed softly, then something occurred to her. "Why didn't he tell me?"
"Does it matter?"
She pushed away from him. "She's my daughter too! That's what he keeps telling me, so why not tell me everything?"
"I don't know..."
She felt tears burn her eyes. "What do I do," she asked desperately leaning back on him. Her heart ached to do something for the girl. It wasn't fair that she would never see the school Hermione told her about, she would never attend classes, or mix potions, or wave a wand.
"She doesn't have it so bad... Muggle children no nothing of our world, they read their stories of fairies and glass slippers, but when they grow up the hope that it's real becomes hopelessly childish. They never know that it is. So see, Joanne will be lucky. She'll always know that it's real, and with you around she'll be able to experience it."
"But she'll never be apart of it."
"Sometimes what we wish for doesn't come in a complete package."
She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Theo. I'm going to sleep in her room. I don't want to leave her alone tonight."
"All right, Hermione."
From the blankets in the closet she made a pallet on the floor like the one she made for them when Joanne was recovering from her cold. She laid down her arm curled under her head in replacement for a pillow. And there she dreamed.
Draco always paid for every date, but he didn't show off his wealth. Not like he used to at least, he didn't boast in his conversations with her. He was funny and sweet. Hermione grew more fascinated by him with each date. He was very different then he used to be.
On the eleventh date she couldn't help herself, she had to ask why, and she did so over an elegant dinner at his cozy home. It was their first date that he cooked for her, and he was an accomplished chef at that. She was even more pleased that his home was quaint, it certainly wasn't the manor.
He seemed genuinely amused by her question.
"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly. "It's none of my business."
He smirked. "You have the right to know who you're dating." He leaned forward slightly as if preparing to tell a secret. It made her breath catch in her throat at how comfortable he was at getting close to her. "I didn't find being who I was to my satisfaction. I don't like being controlled."
"That's all?" She bit her lip at her surprised tone. She hoped she hadn't offended him, but it seemed so simple.
"That's all," he contested, resting back in his chair. She wished he didn't, she found that she liked him close.
"It's a good enough reason."
"What would make it better?"
"If you didn't like hurting people." She knew he didn't, she saw that, but she had to hear it from him.
I'll always have a bullying nature in me, Hermione, but no worries, I don't hurt anyone anymore."
"That's nice to know," she said sincerely.
"Hermione?"
Gradually she woke from her dream. "Draco?"
"Come on, lets get you into bed."
"I need to talk with you," she said groggily. It probably wasn't the most convincing of requests.
"Can it wait until morning, love?"
"No," she answered more firmly that time.
Draco lifted her by her elbow holding her up with an arm wrapped around her waist. He carried her to their bedroom pulling the covers over her when he laid her in the bed. He straddled her hips for a moment before climbing behind her.
She forced her eyes open twisting to gauge his reaction. Of course he hadn't heard. He would have been bouncing off the walls mad if he did. Somehow, the darkness that enveloped them helped. It was easier to tell him what happened.
In the need to hold onto something she grabbed his hand. This made him anxious.
"What is it? What happened? Theo said to talk with you as soon as possible."
"He went home?"
"Yeah, after I got here. Tell me."
She felt warm. Theo wasn't just waiting until Draco got home, he had been looking out for them. She owed him one, but as she thought that she almost smiled. She had to focus.
She didn't know how to begin. "There was a man in the alleyway... I used magic. Joanne saw. We're both okay though! That's what's important!"
Draco's expression changed three times. He first looked scared, then relieved, and then his features hardened. "And," he growled.
"Theo and I told her what we were. Listen, Draco, before you get upset -"
"Upset," he spat. "I'm downright infuriated." He rolled off the bed pressing his back against the wall as if he couldn't get enough distance between them. That hurt worse than if he had stayed and yelled in her face. "You had no right to tell her about your world! I told you not to! Several times in fact!"
"I had no choice! What did you want me to do, obliterate her memory? I wasn't going to do that! I had no idea that she was a Squib, Draco. I didn't know! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, it does," she seethed. The monster was coiled back ready to strike. "I won't be lied to!" She clawed the fistful of sheet beneath her. The words nearly got caught in her throat, but she had to say them. "I left once for no good reason, don't think I won't leave for a purpose!"
"What about Joanne?"
"I love her dearly, Draco. That's why I did magic! I did it to save her! The man was huge I couldn't take him on without it. I refuse to let anyone lay a hand on her. But I will leave if I have to. If this isn't going to work... Make up your mind, Draco. Either I'm a wife and a mother, or I'm nothing at all."
His gaze burned, but it softened. "I should have told you."
"Yes, you should have."
He shook his head. "No more secrets. I won't hide anything from you."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes."
She searched his visage, but it did nothing to calm her. "I don't believe you."
He looked down, ashamed. "What can I do?"
Tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't want to say it. She didn't want to say any of the things she was saying that night, but she had to... She couldn't live her life uncovering secrets. She led that life, and although she had some of her happiest memories because of Harry and Ron she didn't want a repeat, a rerun... She wanted him, the family she should have had. She wanted to start living the life she missed out on, but when was that life going to begin when she knew nothing? "Let me leave." She needed space.
Draco snapped his head up glaring at her with disbelief. "No... No, you don't mean that. You promised -"
"You lied!"
"I'm sorry."
"What else haven't you told me? Are there anymore children? Do you still love Luna? Do you have a wife somewhere?"
"You know everything."
"Do I?"
"You know I love you. That's all that matters."
"Sometimes..." She choked, "it isn't."
"I'm not letting you go again, Hermione. I made that mistake once I won't do it again."
"This isn't your decision."
"Please, Hermione, forgive me."
How dare he use the word "please" knowing it was her weakness. She gritted her teeth more determined than ever. "I'll stay with Theo until my house is repaired. It'll give Joanne time."
"And it would give me time to earn your trust again."
"There isn't enough time for that."
"How much time would I need?"
"An eternity."
He strained a smirk. "I'll take it."
She lifted herself out of the bed touching his arm as she walked past feeling that undeniable current pass through them. "It's over, Draco," she whispered hoping he heard, but at the same time hoping he didn't listen. She didn't want it to be over, every fiber of her being was screaming against it, but logic would win out in the end. Hermione was a very logical person.
Barefoot she went across the building's hall not looking to Joanne's room as she passed it and knocked softly. Theo answered, his expression grave. He didn't have to ask to know what happened.
"Don't say anything," she warned.
"No," he muttered. "Nothing at all." He took her in his arms shutting the door with his foot.
In an exact replica of Draco's apartment (except with a leather couch, and green walls) she knew he was guiding her to his room.
He eased her onto the bed which appeared more grand than Draco's with ornate detail carved into the posts. She didn't know that was Theo's style. But how could she truly know anything anymore? Eight years changed everything.
Like Draco he rested beside her, his arm draped over her midsection. It wasn't as intimate as Draco's hold, not the same kind of comfort. It was one that Harry and Ron would have given if they were alive.
Despite all that took place, and despite her nap she drifted comfortably into sleep with thoughts of her best friends.
"Forgive me," she asked in undertone not sure who she was speaking to. Theo, herself, Draco, Joanne, Harry and Ron. As she had lost them, was she losing herself too?
"Nothing to forgive," Theo insisted tiredly slurring his words, and she chuckled for it sounded so much like the others.
A/N: A few of you are probably waiting for her reunion with her old friends, but as you can imagine things are a bit hectic to be having reunions. She's on the edge right now, unsure if she wants to stay.