Chapter 9: Past Mistakes
Angel said, "Wait, how are you taking her home?"
Connor said, "I'll just take your car?"
Angel said, "I don't think so, you don't nearly have enough driving experience. I know we'll call her house, have Buffy or Xander pick her up, ok?"
Connor and Spike both said, "I don't think so."
Connor said, "What's wrong? You do not trust me. Besides you and Spike cannot come, the sun is up. I'm a very safe driver just ask Spike, he taught me?"
That is when Angel almost lost it on Spike.
He said, "What? I told you to stay away from my kid?"
After that Angel and Spike really got into it, Angel started to hit Spike but he blocked Angel's hits.
When Spike finally got Angel off him, Spike said, "What's the big deal? It is not as if I taught him how to maim and kill. That was you right; I mean it's all you've ever taught me."
Spike always did that, in the worst of time and the best of times, he would always bring up their shared painful past. Spike's like that, he knew what buttons to push on Angel to make him lose it even more. Angel did not lose his cool; this time he walked away. He told Connor and Dawn to leave, before he changed his mind. They both ran out of there so fast, Connor had never seen Angel react that way to anyone before. He did not know what to make of it. After they were gone, Angel had some words for Spike.
Angel said, "I can't believe that you'd say those things in front of Connor no less. What the hell's wrong with you?"
Spike said, "What? It is not like neither one of them do not know about our past together, our past has nothing to do with either of them. You are just ashamed of the things you have done and you would rather pretend that it never happened. I always mess that up for you right. You cannot forget as long as I am here to keep reminding you and shoving it in your face. That is why you cannot stand the bloody sight of me. That is the difference between us; I do not do guilt. I did those things and nothing I do now is going to change the facts. At least I only have to take the blame for things I did, unlike you."
Angel said, "What are you trying to say?"
Spike smiled and said, "You know what I'm saying, if it wasn't for you, I would have never become a vampires and neither would Dru. All the people that she and I killed, that is on you, as well as me. Like I told you before, she might have killed me but you turned me into a monster, we became vampires for different reasons. A dark angel of the night seduced me; all I ever wanted out of life was love, then and now. From the way I heard it, you wrecked everything in your path long before you ever became a vampire. Why do you think Darla chose you? She saw darkness in you?"
Then Angel got madder, he said, "What the hell's that supposed to mean? There was not any darkness in me? So, I liked the ladies, I wasn't ready to settle down, whoever is?"
Spike said, "In times like this I miss Angelus at least he's honest about his past deeds unlike you."
Angel said, "Don't you even go there, about secrets and lies ok. I mean for how long were you and Buffy "seeing each other" in secret were anyways. Speaking of her, how long are you going to keep her in the dark about you being alive?"
Spike said, "It wasn't my idea to keep me and her secret that was all Buffy. I wanted to tell everyone but she made me keep it a secret. As far as me telling her I am alive, well I did not see you telling her did I. Besides, I'm not ready to see her yet?"
Angel said, "She didn't want anyone to know because she was ashamed of being with you. What are you scared of anyways? That she will not care or that she will? I mean it is not as if you really loved her anyway right. You and her were only sleeping together, right?"
Spike said, "You don't have any bloody idea, what I feel for her? Let us not talk about her; we will never agree on her. Buffy's off limits to us, let's leave it at that and walk away".
Before Angel could say anything else, Spike walked away. Spike knew that if he did not walk away, he might do something that he would regret later. He knew that Angel did not have any clue about what went on between him and Buffy. Too bad the sun was up; he sure could use a ride. That is what Spike always did; he would just take off on his bike. He bought it cheap and fixed it up. He usually ended up in some dark cemetery hunting something far worse than he was but not now, he had to wait for the sun to go down. It was not going down for a few hours more. Spike would be stuck in his own personal hell without any escape.