"Momma? Daddy?" Renesmee called as Jasper carried her tired body into Carlisle's house.
"Oh my little girl," I said then pausing to see that she had significantly grow in the past five weeks.
She now looked like she was around six or seven, I was astonished, she grew so much while she was away and I could hardly believe my eyes, Edward and I just stared for a moment, our eyes widening to the sight of her, I almost had to do a double take to see if my eyes were not deceiving me.
"Renesmee, you have gotten so big," I said extending my arms to steal her from Jasper.
"I know mommy, isn't it cool?" she said proudly.
"Its amazing dear, you are amazing, I have missed you so much Nessie. Everyone has missed your adorable face around here, how was your vacation, did you have fun?" I sighed finally able to have her back in my arms once again.
"It was great, we did and saw so much, I didn't want to leave," she laughed. "I will tell you everything later mommy, where is my Jacob?" she said quickly.
Before I knew it there was a wolf at my side, whining and whimpering as if in pain, and I couldn't blame him, he had missed her more than any of us could have know, he was her protector, her best friend, her one love. She gladly jumped from my arms almost tacking Jake, and they rolled around on the floor as if play fighting, it was something I had never seen them do before, but she was bigger now and there they found themselves rolling around on the floor. Jacob's eyes were glowing with adoration for his little Nessie, finally he curled up into a ball around her on the floor as she touched is ever so furry face to tell him about her vacation and she what she had missed. We all just chuckled to ourselves and every once in a while Jake would let out a slight growl, and every now and then, his tail would start slowly at first, moving from side to the next, and next thing you know it was thudding on the floor a mile a minute. Typical dogs, I thought as I sat there and watched them talk and play. I just wanted to take her in my arms and hold her tight never letting her go, but I would be able to do that later when Edward and I would take her to her new house.
Alice and Jasper were chatting with everyone about whatever adventures they had, sharing stories mostly about Renesmee and how she had grown so much while she was in the Amazon's with them. She had learned to swim in the wild rivers and even became a skilled hunter when it came to the local crocodiles, and even took the biggest one in the river. As Alice told it, the crocodile was keeping locals out of the water, they refused to fish, swim, they were even hesitant about letting their livestock drink from the river and how they were suffering and the only reason Nessie took the big croc was the make sure the villagers were safe from it. She had so much compassion for them, she even left the body on the shoreline so the villagers would know its reign of terror was over and it would ease their suffering. Renesmee had inspired Zafrina and the other Amazon's and they were trading their diet of human blood for the more civilized diet we had, and Carlisle's face lit up hearing that, he was so proud of what she had done that he almost couldn't contain it and had a permanent smile glued to his face.
After a few hours of her getting used to being back home and seeing everyone again, Edward picked up Renesmee who was half asleep, she was exhausted from the excitement of coming home, and cradled her till her heavy eyelids finally gave in.
"I think its time we get our little angel home Bella," he whispered. "Jacob, you are welcome to come too, there is an extra room for you, if you like," he said knowing that the invitation wouldn't be denied.
Jacob shifted out of his wolf form so he would fit into the Volvo and we all piled in to head home. I carried Renesmee into the house and took her to her room to put pajamas on her, which none of the clothes fit her anymore I gave her one of my shirts and laid her into bed. She stirred a little and slowly opened her eyes; she gave a little smile and put a hand to my face. Her smile dimmed quickly as she had seen how the past few weeks were, and knowing how unhappy I was, I couldn't hide anything from her.
"Mommy, its okay I am home now, you don't have to be sad anymore, please don't be sad, I promise I wont leave again," she sighed.
"No Renesmee, its not you baby, there has just been so much lately, don't worry about it now, rest your eyes dear, get some sleep and we will talk more in the morning," I said as he immediately followed my instructions and was fast asleep within a few moments.
I went back downstairs to join Edward and Jake and told him that if he wanted he could sleep in her room, she had a big enough bed for the both of them. Before I was finished Jake was yawning and heading up the stairs to Nessie's room, leaving the door open behind him in respect to Edward and I.
I made my way to our bedroom, Edward half a step behind me the whole time. I went into the bathroom and threw on a nightgown I had left in there from a few nights before, and headed to the bed. The whole time Edward stood in the middle of the room just watching me, and I couldn't help to think that he had intentions I really didn't want to indulge in tonight. As I lay on the bed, Edward sighed, and made his way to me, coming to lie face to face with me. His face didn't have any expression and I knew he must have had something on his mind.
"Bella," he sounded a little depressed. "I heard everything from Renesmee's thoughts, and it pains me that you were so unhappy earlier this week," he sighed again, pausing to think of what he might say next.
Before he could, I decided to kill the silence, "Edward don't worry, I was just stressing with everything going on, its nothing really," I said trying to reassure him.
"No Bella, stop trying to make me think things are ok, when I know they are not, I heard the pain in Renesmee's thoughts, don't lie to me Bella, we need to talk about this, I cant stand knowing that I might have hurt you, or that you are not happy with me," his voice was painful to hear.
I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see his face, I just couldn't see the hurting in his eyes, were we hurting each other now?
"The other day you said I had some decisions to make, and seeing that you want things to change, that we should make decisions together, then we are going to come to some type of compromise Bella," I finally pushed out the words.
"What decision is that Edward?" I said with my eyes wide open staring into his.
"Well, I don't think I make you happy anymore Bella, you are right I am trying to buy your love and I know that is wrong, I see it now," pausing only for a moment. " I feel like that is the only way I can give you back what I have taken from you, I took your life Bella and I know that it was the only way to save you, but now I'm not sure it did save you. I have never had a relationship before you, no one I have ever cared about, I am just as new to this as you, and we were barely married before Renesmee came into the picture. We don't have much time to just be us, and when you say you don't know you want anymore it scares me Bella, I don't know what to do, please help me understand this," he pleaded.
"Edward, everything just happened so fast, it's been a tornado of a year, for both of us and it's been hard, this isn't the picnic I thought it would be. I know you warned me beforehand but nothing could have prepared me for Renesmee, Tara or the prophecy, I am just confused right now. I know you made the right decision to save me, and I love you for it, this is what I wanted, never question that Edward. But you don't have to buy my love, you already have that, you always will without a doubt in my mind. But I am my own person, I feel like a child when you make my decisions for me, and that is one thing that needs to change, you cant do that anymore. As for the whole Ryan situation, well that's simpler than you think, we are just friends, for me he is like Jasper or Emmett, someone I can laugh or joke with, not love, no matter what he might think about me, it's only one sided, at the end of the day you are the one I come home with, the one I love, the one person I only want to be with. I just want you to be able to accept the fact that I have someone else I can talk to, its nice to be able to have a conversation with someone other than you, I am sorry if you are hurt by that, but that's the way it is going to be. I learned some things in high school, before you left; I ignored my friends and forgot about them because of you, I am not going to do that again. I just want us to be happy and if that means that I have friends, then why cant you accept that? If you are thinking about leaving, well I just want you to know that I want and need you to stay, without you, life is meaningless for me and Renesmee, you are the final part to our crazy little puzzle and without you we would not be complete, do you understand that?" my voice never fractured once to show the hurt I was feeling.
He was silent for a few moments before he closed his eyes and rolled over onto his back, letting out a great sigh. I wasn't sure if it was a sigh of relief, and aggravated sigh, or even a painful sigh, and it concerned me much, I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I wanted him to tell me on his own time so I waited patiently till he spoke.
"This isn't easy for me Bella, I don't ever want to leave you and I cant promise you I wont, if I ever think it would be for the best then I would have to do what I must, and no matter what happens in our lives, I will never stop loving you," he finally managed.
I sat straight up, just staring at him, his face was hard as if he were physically in pain, and yet I was angry now. How dare he think that he can just up and leave if things get hard, I have put up with too much right now, did he even listen to a word I had said. Maybe he was just saying that so I would go back to my old self, letting him do everything for me, and have control over me, it wasn't going to work.
"Okay so here is the deal, if you cant promise me that you will never leave, and mean it, then you are better off leaving now and never coming back. I am not going to sit here everyday wondering if today will be the day you run again. I won't deal with that Edward, if you don't remember I have Renesmee to take care of, this isn't just about you and me anymore. So you need to make your decision now, are you going to stay forever, or leave now and never look back, and be honest, I don't think I can handle anymore of this," I demanded.
"What? Are you giving me and ultimatum Bella, promise you leave immediately?" he questioned, frustration washing over him.
"Yes, and there is no meeting halfway on this Edward, I wont live like that, I need to know," I sighed.
"Bella…" was all he could say; now he was speechless as I just stared waiting for my answer.
Finally he mustered up the courage to open his mouth, I had never been so afraid as I was right now, would he leave me again and this time for good, I would never take him back if he did, I just wouldn't want to risk hurting again.
"Bella…" he said again, "then I will stay love, I don't ever want to loose you or Renesmee, it would kill me," he cried out.
"Promise me Edward, promise me and mean it, don't say it just to avoid hurting me, I cant take the truth, so promise me now or its over," the words resonating off of the walls in our bedroom which seemed to be closing in on me.
"What, of course Bella, I promise I will never leave you, I promise, just promise me you will never leave me as well that's all I am afraid of," he sighed.
"When I married you, I promised you everything, I promised my love for you, my life, forever, and I'm not going back on that promise Edward. I promise that I am yours forever and I will never leave," I said meaning every word I spoke.
Edward sat up and grabbed my chin pulling it towards his swollen lips; I closed my eyes to brace myself for him. When our lips touched I could feel them quivering, and I reached for his face to reassure him I was really there and I wasn't going anywhere, and I noticed that it wasn't his lips that were just quivering, it was his whole body, it was shaking fiercely. I pushed his whole down onto his back, the pillow giving in to the weight of his head, I came to rest on top of him, trying to hold him still to stop the shaking. I knew I should say something but I just couldn't think of anything to say, so I slowly lifted my shield, letting him into my head, hoping it would calm him down, seeing that every word I spoke was true.
We laid there for hours as he poked and prodded through my mind, seeing every thing that had happened in the past few weeks through my eyes. Then I focused and flashed to the nights when I was human and he would stay with me for the night and how safe and secure I was. He saw how much I loved him then and that nothing had ever changed the way I felt about him and if anything my feelings were stronger now than there were before. We felt it together, we were home, no matter what state we lived in, or whatever house we decided to move to, we would always be home because we had each other.
The ringing of my cell phone interrupted us, and as I looked at the number I was surprised to see it was Alice. Did we leave some of Nessie's things back at the house?
I answered the phone with my usual "Hello" and that's when I heard it, it rang in my ears for a few moments before I could respond.
"Aro will be here in three hours," her voice rang anxiously.
"We will be right over Alice," I said before hanging up.
I knew Nessie would be safe with Jacob with her and I left a note on the door so Jacob would know where we were when they awoke, and with that we were off to Carlisle's.