Chapter Ten: Lucy in the Sky
Quinn looks at her worriedly, while Santana stares at Quinn in concern.
"What?" Quinn asks, "What's wrong?"
Brittany points to her upper arm.
Santana gently tugs her until she can see it.
Light bruising covers her arms from her elbows up to her shoulders.
Britt pulls on the blanket and reveals matching fingerprint bruises on her other arm.
Santana looks appalled, "I, I'm so sorry Q. I didn't realize I was holding on so tight. Why didn't you say something? I would never, I mean. God, I'm just so sorry Queeny".
Quinn knows Santana is truly upset when she uses "queeny". San refrains from using that term of endearment unless she is particularly sweet or worried. Like when Quinn got bronchitis last year or when they walked into high school for the first time.
Brittany is openly crying now and ignores Santana's attempt to calm her down.
Quinn needs to make a decision. If she says its Santana's fault she could break their friendship beyond repair. She could ruin San and Britt's relationship too. But if she 'fesses up and tells the truth, she isn't positive they could keep their mouths shut, that they wouldn't try to force her into reporting it.
"Quinn, please say something," Santana begs, "I didn't mean to. I was mad but I'd never hurt you on purpose, not like that. I'm sorry".
Quinn starts to cry and cuddles up until she's basically sitting in Santana's lap. Luckily Britt isn't quite so territorial.
"I'm sorry," Santana just keeps repeating, lightly rubbing Quinn's back.
Brittany is making a face as close to a glare as Quinn has ever seen from her. It's watching Santana's face break in response that seals her decision.
"It's not your fault," Quinn whispers.
The girls glue their eyes to her.
"I, thanks, I know it is but I'm hoping you'll forgive me," San mumbles.
"No," Quinn says a bit more forcefully, "You didn't do this at all".
Santana pulls away from her looking stunned.
"What?" Britt asks in confusion.
Santana hushes her, "Who is hurting you Q?"
Quinn is shaking, "No one, I fell, it's not your fault".
"Quinn, those are fingerprints," Santana sighs impatiently, "We can't help you if you won't tell us who it is".
"I can't," Quinn claims curling into a ball.
Santana rakes her memory, thinking of every bruise, pulled muscle, strained ligament, how many fit with Cheerios, how many don't.
Meanwhile, Brittany has curled around Quinn, wrapping her arms around her loosely so Q doesn't get claustrophobic.
Who fits the bill? Santana wonders. Quinn doesn't spend much time around people outside of Cheerios. There's a boy she teaches Sunday school with, Puck, Finn, she doesn't have any girl friends besides them, a teacher?
"Just nod or shake your head, ok?" Santana offers.
Quinn doesn't respond so she begins.
"Aaron," she says picturing the blond co-teacher. Quinn wanted them to teach together but Santana couldn't stand the little ones. This could be all her fault.
Quinn shakes her head. Or not.
"Puck," Santana says hesitantly. She can't picture the boy she grew up with doing this. He's probably her best friend after Brittany and a damn good lay, but if he hurt her…He's the baby daddy and knowing his own father's issues…
Quinn shakes her head again. Relief.
"A teacher," Santana says. She's picturing their creepy science teacher who always gave her weird vibes. She'd forbidden Britt from meeting with him one on one. But Quinn never needed help in class.
Quinn shakes her head yet again.
"Finn," Santana states getting angry. He's a big, dumb oaf. But he is big, much taller and stronger than Quinn. He acts dopey and sweet but maybe he had underlying temper issues. She'd get her cousins to tear him limb from limb.
"No," Quinn says softer than softly.
Santana frowns, she's running out of people.
Britt bites her lip, "Your dad?" she asks.
Santana watches Quinn stiffen and knows they've got it right.
Britt gives her a look that means she'd explain her guess later.
Santana pictures Mr. Fabray. He's jolly in a fake, parental way. He wears sweaters and button down shirts. He looks like he did in college, down to the hair cut, plus a few pounds. They don't go over to Quinn's often. Her house is nice, but it feels like a museum. Santana has the wayward parents that are never present while Quinn's hover. He seemed strict to her, controlling, religious, bossy, and she knows he gets in Q's head. But he never seemed like the type to do more than yell, demand Quinn go to confession, send her to her room, or ground her forever.
Quinn struggles to sit up and Brittany reluctantly drops her arms.
"Oh Queeny," Santana sighs, reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind Quinn's ear.
She flinches.
Santana immediately pulls away from Quinn's face and at the same time, one hand fumbles for Brittany. A harsh tug sends Brittany tumbling off the couch and scrambling to her side. Britt sits on her lap, positively squishing her, so they can leave Quinn on the middle cushion with some space.
Quinn takes a deep breath, "That's why I couldn't tell you. Look at your faces, the pity. I'm already a, a".
"Pregnant teenager," she finally spits out, "I can't deal with anything else".
"Quinn, you can stay here," Santana offers rapidly, "I'll come up with something to tell my mom, if you aren't ready for the truth yet".
Britt nods in agreement, "My house is open too".
Quinn winces when Britt shifts and bumps her bruises.
"You two are crazy. I'm going to church tomorrow and then I'm going home," she declares.
"What? You can't!" Brittany and Santana exclaim in unison.
"Good night," Quinn says in her bossy, this isn't up for discussion voice, attempting to shove them off the couch.
"No way Fabray. You can't tell us this and expect us to pretend like nothing happened," Santana asserts, wrapping her arms tighter around Brittany who is shivering in her lap.
"I over reacted," Quinn says flatly, "I swear this is the second time he's done this. It's my fault anyway".
Santana feels like they are back in summer camp, when she tried to make Quinn see that no one had the right to hurt her.
"I got a B- on my math test last spring. I had Cheerios and Finn and, no, no excuses. I screwed up. I'm never going to get into a good college and get out of here if I let my grades drop. Straight As you know. It's my fault. I should have studied more. He was just looking out for me. It was one slap. You and I do that all the time," Quinn rambles.
Santana pauses, maybe they were flipping out for no reason. She used to get swatted on the butt for misbehaving as a child. Whose to say this is different? And two times is a lot less then she'd feared at first. She has a feeling Russell's slap wasn't quick like the stinging ones they traded, probably bruised her cheek. That made it different. That made it not okay. He was an adult. Santana lowers her eyes to Quinn's flat stomach, a slap last time, fingerprint bruises this time, what if next time it's worse.
"Santana please," Quinn begs, teary eyed and sniffling.
She must have zoned out for a moment.
"Why does he say he did it this time?" Brittany whispers, her thumb crazy close to in her mouth. It took years to break her of that habit as a child.
Quinn flips her hair back over her shoulders, "He saw me with Puck. God it was so stupid. They've told me to stay away from him since freshman year. That he was nothing but trouble. They were right," she says gesturing to her stomach.
"I should have listened to them. Puck wanted to know how the baby was doing. I figured I owed him that much, considering I'm claiming Finn's the father. But he saw me, he was so mad. Probably worried I'd screw up the chastity ball. Too late for that. He grabbed me hard to pull me away from him and into the car. Said it was lucky he was on his way to the church and saw me. He grabbed my arms and shook me once when we got out of the car. Said he never wanted to see me with Puck again or I'd be grounded until I graduated. He was so, so mad. His face was bright red, I'd never seen him that angry. Then he told me to get out of this sight and walked away. So I got ready to meet you for dinner and hid out in my room. It's my fault. It happened and it won't happen again, no big deal," she plays it off.
Quinn is being honest. It's happened twice and it was her fault. She doesn't expect it to happen again, she'll do better, she'll be better. But she's faking the nonchalance; it had scared her, both times. She hadn't realized he was capable of that kind of rage, figures that she'd be the one to bring it out in him.
Quinn's shivering again and this time she allows Brittany to drape the blanket over her.
Santana is still curiously quiet. Quinn can't have this get out. It would hurt her father's, hers, her family's reputation. She needs all the juice and fear she can get out of the student body to keep her position. Pity won't help.
"Don't forget," she says softly, "I have secrets you don't want known either". It's a light threat, subtle, yet San nods in recognition.
"Bedtime B," she says, "If you still want Quinn to make those pancakes".
Brittany kisses her cheek and waits for Quinn to say it's okay, good night, before slipping back onto the floor.
Quinn steels herself for Santana leaving too, for being left alone with memories from today that won't settle.
Santana looks longingly at Britt on the floor before catching Quinn's blank eyes.
"I'm gonna stay comfy on the couch tonight Britt," she calls out.
Brittany nods and stretches out.
Santana is gently shifting her legs over and settling in behind her.
Part of Quinn wants to push her away or roll off the couch and move to the other one. But a bigger part scoots over to make room, clutches Santana's hand, and tries not to cry again.
So quietly she doesn't even know if Brittany can hear, Santana starts to sing, "Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes".
Quinn smiles and settles her head on Santana's shoulder.
"Cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone" San continues, stroking Quinn's hair.
Quinn giggles, "Are you singing me the Beatles?"
"Not you. Shhhh, close your eyes. I'm singing for whoever is listening," Santana teases.
Quinn does as she's told, relaxing, as she can hear Brittany's level breathing. And Santana continuing, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, ah".
"Not for me, huh?" she quips nudging Santana in the ribs.
San moves to retaliate then pauses considering her bruises.
Quinn lets out an involuntary whimper at the break in routine.
"Not for you. Not one bit. Not at all. This song is about a girl named Lucy. You know perfectly well yours is Quinn," Santana jokes.
Quinn, top of the school, captain of the Cheerios and HBIC, she's struggled so hard to get to this point. But for some reason she doesn't mind being Lucy, to them, for this brief moment.
Santana finishes the song, "That was for all the Lucys out there".
"Because my best friend Quinn Fabray is so jealous of Lucy, this one is dedicated to her," Santana says, "See I can be nice," sticking out her tongue.
"Your face will freeze like that," Quinn declares, once she's sure Britt is asleep and won't be horrified at the statement.
"Will not," San argues.
"Will too. I want my song puh-lease," Quinn whines.
Santana digs deep into her music arsenal for part of a Bob Dylan tune, "But when Quinn the Eskimo get here everybody's gonna jump for joy. Oh come all without, come all within. You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn. Come all without, come all within. You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn."
Quinn smiles at her and Santana switches songs, "Now all you ever do is being dreamy - Teenage Queenie. Teenage Queenie, you're lost every night and your Mammy worried, your Daddy's uptight. Teenage Queenie you still gotta grow 'cause if you wanny be free it's a long time to go".
Quinn shrugs at that one, torn between loving that it said Queeny and cross that it brought up parents, "Next".
"Am I your personal jutebox?" Santana laughs, "You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. When the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said Boy you've got a friend in me. Yeah you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me. You got troubles and I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together, we can see it through 'cause you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me."
"We are going through the years," Santana declares, "That was elementary school".
"Middle school" Quinn offers, "We sign our cards and letters BFF. You've got a million ways to make me laugh. You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back. It's so good to have you around.
You know the secrets I could never tell and when I'm quiet you break through my shell. Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell 'cause you keep my feet on the ground.
You're a true friend. You're here till the end. You pull me aside when something ain't right, talk with me now and into the night 'til it's alright again. You're a true friend".
Santana nods and smiles, "Nice Hannah Montana throw back. Now, graduation… As we go on we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change come whatever we will still be Friends Forever".
She stops after singing the chorus, there is only so much sappy, cringe worthy music they can take. Quinn can't stop laughing.
"And finally, one for the Swiftie who just won't admit it," Quinn declares, yawning.
"Friday night beneath the stars in a field behind your yard you and I are painting pictures in the sky. And sometimes we don't say a thing, just listen to the crickets sing. Everything I need is right here by my side and I know everything about you. I don't wanna live without you" Quinn begins.
Santana takes over, " I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you. Just small town little girls living in the crazy world trying to figure out what is and isn't true".
Quinn picks it back up, not meeting her eyes, " And I don't try to hide my tears
the secrets, all my deepest fears. Through it all nobody gets me like you do and you know everything about me. You say that you can't live without me. I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you".
Santana joins her "When I'm with anybody else. It's so hard to be myself. And only you can tell. That I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me, who I wanna be. Well, I'm only me when I'm with you. With you, oh, yeah."
They lay beside each other in silence for a while, listening to Britt's consistent, soft breathing.
"Don't you go telling people I like Taylor," Santana breaks the silence, "I have a reputation, you know".
"Wouldn't dream of it," Quinn teases.
"Good night Queeny," San yawns.
"Good night Tana," Quinn replies.
They lapse into silence.
"That dumb song is stuck in my head now. You did it on purpose, Santana Marie Lopez," Quinn complains, humming Graduation (Friends Forever).
Maybe it's a tiny bit true; better that than nightmares about her father. Not like San would ever admit it.
"Did not. Ugh now it's stuck in mine too, thanks Lucy Quinn Fabray".
"No problem," Quinn smiles angelically.
Santana rolls her eyes, "You're lucky I tolerate you".
"Awww I love you too, S," Quinn yawns, no wonder her father jokes her middle name is really "diabla".
Santana just curls around her protectively and looks over her body at Brittany. She wishes she could protect them both, fix all their problems. Her best friends, her blondes, her matching parts of the Unholy Trinity…she figures it's a problem for another day.
A/N: This got a bit dark. Sorry. It kind of just wrote itself. But this is really it as far as the abuse goes, it stops after this. It does serve as a bit more insight on Quinn though. Next chapter, we'll revisit this and probably have a Santana focused flashback.