A/N: I'm baaaaaaack! I'm sorry for leaving you all, I really am. If you look on my profile, you'll know that I had issues writing Sirius' will, but I'm good now. I also inserted Jiraiya's will in this. I know canon shows no evidence that the Pervy Sage left behind a will, but I find it hard to believe that someone who had that much money wouldn't make preparations if he went off on a dangerous mission. I did a little something different with this chapter, contrasting the two wills. I hope you like it.

And for those of you who reviewed last chapter, I'm sorry I didn't reply! I was completely swamped with other stuff that I lost track of who I was supposed to reply to. Please forgive me. Brownie points to Lansar1, stefni, wert1990, kperscy, kagedfox, AiSard, akuma-chan0326, vairetwilight, Jewl4life, PotterFrkInTx, primaaryet, Chite, ginny75, and FoxySpirit!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto.

"Are all present for the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Sirius Orion Black?"

"All are present," Dumbledore replied.

The goblin reader raised an eyebrow. The room was fairly crowded. Almost the entire Weasley family, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, as well as Narcissa and Draco Malfoy were present.

"You are not required to be here, Albus Dumbledore. Lord Black left nothing for you in his Will."

The other people in the room stared at the old man in shock and triumph.

"In fact, the only people required to be here are Remus John Lupin, and Harry James Potter. Everyone else must leave."

Protests of outrage broke out amongst the people gathered.

"-Ungrateful cur-"

"-Heir to the House of Black-"

"-owes us-"

"-How dare he-"

"SILENCE!"

The shout came not from Professor Dumbledore, but from a hitherto unnoticed dark-haired wizard. He walked up to the goblin and bowed deeply.

"I humbly apologize for the actions of my fellow witches and wizards, Reader Zirka."

The goblin blinked and nodded. What an unusual young man.

"Duly noted, Mr. Potter. Perhaps they would be so kind as to evacuate the room peacefully, instead of forcing a child to cover for them," she replied, glaring at the gathered disapprovingly.

For the first time in a very long time, Dumbledore panicked. Granted, it was for but a half-second before his mind started scheming again to turn the situation in his favour.

"Harry, my dear boy, it is far too dangerous for you to be here. I know you loved Sirius, but I hardly think he would want you to put yourself in harm's way like this," he said worriedly.

Harry's face remained calm and expressionless, a feat he was still surprised he could pull off. Perhaps he hadn't lost his touch completely.

"That was extremely insulting to the goblins of Gringotts, Headmaster. I highly doubt they would allow their clients to come to harm."

"Of course, of course, my boy," he replied in a knowing tone, while looking over the tops of his half-moon spectacles, "But I doubt that they have control over certain clients' actions…"

"You have yet to apologize, Dumbledore," Harry replied, his patience wearing thin.

"Harry! I understand you're grieving, but that doesn't excuse you for disrespecting the Headmaster! Apologize this instant!"

Harry had yet to turn around, and the goblin saw him clench his jaw at Molly Weasley's words.

"Forgive me, Reader Zirka, for my lapse in knowledge, but I believe Gringotts has a security team to remove unwanted persons from a meeting?"

Zirka grinned sadistically, no doubt remembering other stubborn intruders and their… fates.

"Of course, Mr. Potter. I shall call them momentarily."

"That won't be necessary. Harry, just let me deal with the Will. You need to return to Privet Drive for your own safety," Dumbledore interrupted, pushing his magic onto the boy.

Harry tensed as Dumbledore's magic tried to overcome his will. Gritting his teeth, he snarled, "Reader Zirka, please have everyone other that Professor Lupin removed immediately!"

/Strike Team Four! Enter!/

Everyone besides Harry and Remus suddenly found a spear pointed at their throats.

"Leave."

A wave of killer intent emanated from Harry, creating a nameless and overwhelming fear in the others. As the room swiftly emptied, Harry's shoulders slumped and he clenched his fists.

"Damn it."

Remus was having a hard time controlling the wolf within. Its hackles had risen when the goblin had entered the room, and it had started howling when the security team had entered. But what confused his the most was that it wasn't upset about the goblins. It was upset about Harry.

Harry gave Zirka a small bow.

"Gomen nasai," he said softly, hoping the werewolf didn't hear. It felt right for him to slip into Japanese, when the reason he was apologizing in the first place came from Japan.

"Very well. Let us begin the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Sirius Black."

Tsunade looked at the two men in her office. Naruto still refused to make eye contact. Whether that was because he blamed her for Jiraiya's death again (the funeral had been this morning), or because he didn't want her to see his eyes, red and puffy from crying, remained yet to be seen. Beside him, Kakashi had the decency to put away his book. He stood to attention, slightly more somber than usual. She sighed and broke the seal on the scroll. She hated being Hokage sometimes.

"We are here to read the Last Will and Testament of Sannin no Jiraiya."

I, Sirius Orion Black, do so solemnly swear that I am of sound body and mind (well, as much as twelve years in Azkaban will allow) and declare this to be my Final Will and Testament. All prior Wills are to be considered null and void.

I, Jiraiya of the Sannin, do so solemnly swear that I am of sound body and mind, and declare this to be my Final Will and Testament. All prior Wills are to be considered null and void.

To my brother in all but name, Remus John Lupin, I leave the Maurader's Den and 100000 galleons. Shut up and take it, Moony. It's not going to do me any good. Oh, and before I forget, when you walk out of this bank, grab Dora and snog her senseless. I swear, if you two aren't together by the end of the year, I can and will activate a marriage contract between you two. Actually, I'll make Harry do it, since I'm obviously dead. I want to see baby Marauders running around!

To the student of my student, and my best patron, Hatake Kakashi, I leave my Icha Icha collection, inclusive of notes and manuscripts. You're a man after my own heart, Kakashi, so don't make the same mistakes I did. The one thing he hates above all else is when people hide things from him.

To my beloved godson, Harry James Potter I leave all my other earthly possessions. It wasn't your fault, Harry. My death was not your fault. It was the fault of whoever held the wand that cursed me, and person alone. Understand? Good. Now, as I mentioned before, you're going to set up a marriage contract if Remus and Tonks if Remus aren't together by the end of the year. Ask Griphook how. As for you, go snog your own redhead! I'd tell you not to leave Hogwarts a virgin, but your mum is probably hexing me to oblivion right now. Listen to me, Harry. If you sacrifice love and happiness for this war, Voldemort's already won.

To my beloved godson, Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto, I leave behind all my other earthly possessions. I know you'll have gone and done something stupid like blame Tsunade-hime for my death and moped about like a baby. So I'm telling you to stop it right now. None of the Hokages got where they were by crying. I believe in you, gaki. You'll make a great Hokage and make your parents proud. I'd ask you to continue my research, but your mother is probably beating me to a pulp right now. So go train, kick the Akatsuki's asses, bring home the Uchiha, and show them all what you're made of.

Have I forgotten anything? Oh yeah, don't trust Dumbledore. He's a great wizard, but he forgets that the rest of us are humans, not mindless pawn to be used at his disposal.

Yours dead-ly,

Sirius Black

Am I forgetting anything? Don't trust the Elders, Hiashi's trying to kill Naruto, and the village needs more bath houses.

Ja ne,

Jiraiya

A/N: So what's the verdict? I'm not putting separate fonts for the different languages yet, but it should be obvious what was in Japanese and what was in English. Brownie points for a review, and an oatmeal raisin cookie if you can guess why Harry knows so much about goblins customs.