"This is good actually."

By the time Stevie had finished dinner most others who had been here during the day had left to go home for the night. He had also taken some plates of the oregano chicken he'd made into people's own room and around the big table in the lounge were me and him, nurse Amber and a doctor I couldn't remember the name of.

"Nature has its own kind of pharmacy… Oregano counts too… I've been cooking different kinds of food with different kinds of goods from that pharmacy and every time I say this is the best. And every time I seem to impress myself."

"You're impressing me too." Nurse Amber said. "We're always hoping we'll get to work the shifts when Stevie Wembley is cooking dinner."

I nodded slightly, what Stevie had made of the chicken and oregano reminded me of whatever mum would make with all of what he called the pharmacy of the nature itself. It did taste good just at the nurses were saying. But still, every bite was harder to get down than I had ever experienced anything being before.

"I can see the look on your face Grace." Stevie said all of a sudden. "You don't have to eat it all. I know what you're feeling like."

I might not have felt as nauseas and knocked out as I did earlier today. And I couldn't exactly like the fact that my mum and stepdad had gone for the evening and night. Of course, they hadn't wanted to- I had talked them into it. And. Unless something happened during the night that they I'd need my mum for it they'd come back in the morning.

Leaving the table I walked over to the window in the bottom of the hallway. There was one parking lot outside the room I and Tim had been, another one for the staff of the hospital here. And then one building I couldn't recognize right over. Where a young boy- around my age stood looking back at me.

"That's my son. Do we look alike at a lot you think?"

I never could have said they looked alike, even from here I could see the boy in the window had a darker skin color than Stevie- to say the least.

"I know you can see it…" Stevie chuckled. "…I never married you know. But I did adopt Aaron and two other children and two other children and I had a farm and I made a pretty good life. Now, Aaron is adopted from Somalia. What you can see right over here is the patient hotel where sometimes patients or their families goes to stay when we can't leave the hospital. And when I'm spending the night here they're always staying here at least one of them… Sometimes I go to see them there or in the restaurant… Sometimes we send a couple of text to each other and then we just stand here and grimace at each other. And then compete at who can make the worst grimace."

"Steven Wembley. What have we told you about scaring these new people away with all your grimaces?"

Stevie looked back at the nurse and then stuck his tongue out at her.

There was something in me that wanted to laugh. While something still kept me from doing it when Stevie raised his hand in a wave towards his son and then went to sit down in a chair by the window.

"Well. I have three children. None of them are biologically mine. But the boys I had since they were so little I was able to give them their names. And the girl I had since… I think she was one when I went to wrap her in my arms and take her with me from that awful children's home."

Stevie grimaced at me to show what he thought about the place he first had met his daughter on. I didn't know what to say and did not have the time to figure anything before Stevie had pulled up his phone and gotten up a photo of his three children.

"There's Aaron. He's thirty, then it's Piti, from Thailand. And then, once they were teenagers I was sort of longing for a baby again and there was Seth from Nigeria… Seth isn't so much older than you… He's been single for a while." Stevie smirked and put his phone back into his pocket. "And you know… anywhere in this world I could have decided to search for adoption and yet I ended up with the best ones…. But Seth is…. A personality… I think maybe you'd like him."

Maybe an exactly as big personality as Stevie himself was.

"I have a boyfriend, sorry."

As soon as I mentioned it I remembered I still hadn't told anything of this to Noah. I had even asked Nick not to tell him.

I wasn't so sure what to say or where that sorry came from. I was happy with Noah. Even though Stevie maybe seemed I would be happier with someone else.

"Don't say you're sorry." He smirked at me. "I know how all of this seems. I just… When I get here it's nice if someone thinks and talks about something else than cancer. Or medicines or my Gosh those side effects… Sometimes it's just easier to talk about that homework is such a pain in the butt or damn it my whole yard smells terrible. I wish there was a way to get away from it."

At that moment I knew exactly what Stevie meant and somehow I could feel a small smile form on my lips. Even though, from Stevie it seemed to be gone for today.

"Cancer sucks… Is this your first round of chemo?"

"Second."

Stevie looked at me and that's where he kept his vision for long enough to make me uncomfortable. As if to get away from it I pulled my arms into my sleeves and hugged myself before I could see in the corner of my eye how he leaned his head back against the neck support

"I was going through it and I know at least some others do it at the very start, when you just found out you have an illness like cancer. Or going through the type of chemo or whatever medicines you get- from the beginning you just don't feel like it's real. It's like something in you doesn't want it to be…"

I gave a few silent nods. Stevie put words on something that I couldn't help but feeling.

"But then of course. We don't get away from it no matter how we try why we're here. And the more we know about each other and whatever we're going through. The easier it is to help. I hope you don't mind me asking. What kind of cancer have you got?"

I hesitated for one second, it had only been so real for a while. Even more real than it had ever been before. I knew the answer very well but I couldn't get it out.

"Ehrm…"

"Maybe if it's easier for you to say it if I say mine first. It is for some people. But I can give you a promise that you cannot get the same kind of cancer of you do so I guess you're safe. No pressure of telling me but I just know what people around here are like. I also have prostate cancer."

I hesitated for another second before I answered in one single word.

"Liver."

"Oh damn. That sucks!"

I couldn't help but to pull for my breath at those comments. Those were the ones that made this all so real. While Sam, mum, Nick and George seemed to be walking on eggshells around me I knew very well I might not get out of this alive.

"Grace." Stevie interrupted my thoughts and I got a feeling he knew exactly what I was thinking. "I'm sorry for that! But you're young, and… well. You still have all your hair left so I'm going to take a guess that you just started this?" I nodded. "No worries are worth taking out before we even know what's going to happen. And even then it simple isn't worth worrying. Look at me for example. I have prostate cancer in my whole damn body. And do you know exactly how much that sucks?" I couldn't help but a small chuckle- the first ones in weeks escaping me. "Now, that's better… But promise me one thing. That no matter how bad this gets- you won't give up. Promise me that?"

I wanted to answer him that I wasn't going to. I wanted to answer that no matter what I would be okay. But there was that voice in the back of my head that I had tried to shove away all I could and…

I could feel my mum coming up behind me before she had made one single noise.

"Hello Grace." She said as she sat on the arm support of the chair I sat in. "And hello Mr. Wembley."

"Just call me Stevie. Please, everyone does."

Both mum and Stevie gave each nod and I suddenly thought that my mum still hadn't told Stevie about who she was as she usually did first time ever meeting someone right away.

"Well, Stevie. This is my mum."

"Hold on…" Stevie pointed to my mum. "Isn't you that one in town? I think my daughter went to yours with those terrible period pains she had and never heard about them again… Thank you so much!"

"That could be me." Mum nodded. "And… Piti Wembley, I don't think it was only period pains but headaches and tense muscles in her neck and shoulders from stress and… she just put a lot of pressure on herself."

"Now…" Stevie suddenly sat up straight and turned grey. "…I think you'll have to excuse me."

"Do you need a sick bag?" I heard from the lounge around us while Stevie more or less flew to his side.

"Nope. Other side."

He half jumped half ran down the hallway and luckily he was in one of the rooms closest to the lounge. The nurse that had asked him if he needed a sick bag sort of grimaced towards us.

"Well, one can't say he's too shy with his problems."

She rolled her eyes and continued with her job with checking on every patient down the hallway while I turned to my mum.

"You came back."

It sounded more happily and relieved than I had meant it to. Now mum wouldn't ever leave me alone for this no matter what I thought or wanted about.

"Thank you for coming back."

"I'll put up the sheets of the second bed in your room Miss Russell. That way you can both stay here all night, both of you in a soft bed instead of a hard stretcher."

"It just didn't feel right leaving you here on your own. And Sam agreed with me anyway. He and George will take care of Grey House for the night. And for other nights… If you think I should then… maybe I should close it down until you're better.

"No." I sat up straight and looked straight into her eyes. "No. That's the last thing I would want you to do. I know how much it means to you and every room is booked for months forward… You can't close it even for one night. Let alone until I… feel better."

It was a bit hard to understand or even believe I ever would. And I quickly I brainstormed for another idea than to shut off what mum loved as much as to run Grey House.

And then the idea just came to me. Just there as if I had planned it all from the beginning.

"I can write a letter. I can write a letting that we put on the door or in the reception on grey house. That way people will know what's going on. And they will know it's not contagious… I guess that's the most important part. If they don't want any sickness around then they can just go to another hotel or BnB…

"Actually." I'd like Tim or Stevie here- they would have known what to say. "That's not a bad idea."

"I have a notebook and a pencil in my bag." I got up from the chair and stumbled a bit. "Whoa… no. I'm okay, I'm okay. I just stood up a bit too quickly."

We made our way down the hallway and to the room I had earlier shared room with Tim, now the nurse was just putting on new sheets on the bed for my mum to stay. I grabbed the notebook and pencil from my bag and scrabbled down a letter

Hello everyone who comes to stay at Grey House.

My name is Grace Russell, I'm the daughter of Cassie Nightingale and I live here. So it's a promise more than likely that you will see me while staying here.

I just wanted to let you know that I have a type of cancer, in my liver. I'll be out and in the hospital some days so you won't be at risk of being bothered at all. Other days I will be home and getting sick. Or needing peace and quiet after getting heavy kinds of medicines.

If you have any questions then you're free to ask any one of us. I and mum are usually around. But also George, Sam or Nick are here most of the time and will be able to answer your questions.

We're hoping that if something while I'm sick, that you can please respect the wishes we might have to make.

Other than that I hope you'll have good stay here at Grey House.

Sincerely

Grace

"Is this good?" I handed the sheet of paper to mum and pulled my quilt around me and laid down while mum read through the letter several times. "I really don't want you to have to close grey house… not because of me."

"Grace." Mum pulled a hand through my hair as if to feel if I was ill. "Don't think anything like that. You mean so much to me and that is so much more than Grey House or the store or any costumer… I'll put this note at by the entrance. But if you want me to close it down- for some time or for just one night. Then please, don't hesitate to tell me."

I didn't even mind answering, we both knew I wouldn't tell her or anyone else no matter how bad I felt.

"Are you two going to bed already?" The nurse came into the room once I couldn't keep my eyes open. "Well… a lot has happened so I guess if you're tired. Anyway. You know where we are if you need anything. Goodnight."

I didn't mind answering my mum or the nurse. They both knew I would pretend I was fine even through the worst of days.

But I could always hope and the last thing I thought was for this today to turn into a better tomorrow.

Stevie's children- whereas only one actually takes play in this chapter. Are Aaron, portrayed by Corbin Blue, Piti portrayed by Brenda Song and Seth portrayed by Deji Olatunji

More about Stevie's children will come up later in the story and I really hope none of it will seem racist… And yeah, that's about all I have to say now.

Random fact

I can never remember what is a pencil or a pen. Because in Swedish both are called Penna. Tuschpenna/ bläckpenna/ blyertspenna and so on. English is confusing sometimes