I updated... Why no one reviewed? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!!
PART 5: THINGS GET SERIOUS
No one was doing particularly anything when the sun rose. Sarah was watching anything that passed by and Nagasha was looking around. They both sat there like that for a bit until Nick woke up and walked out of their fort. Then, he walked into the middle of a field and looked at the sunrise. He smiled, appreciating nature... until a metroid smacked onto his face out of freakin' nowhere
"HOLY CRAP!!!" Nick shouted flailing his arms around and running around in circles with the metroid eating out his face.
"SKREE!!!" it screeched.
Sarah watched and Nagasha was stroking a stray dog that had come up. "Do you think he's in pain right now?" asked Sarah finally.
Nagasha looked up, puzzled, then stared at Nick.
"Good lord and all that is holy, please get this thing off of my face! Dear Mamuta! It burns!!! This thing's more annoying than that leafy space pirate girl I met last Christmas, and oh by the way, did I mention It BURNS!!!" he shouted, attempting to pry the metroid off while rolling around in the dirt.
"SKREEE!! SKREEE!!"
"What mhakes you shay that?" inquired Nagasha.
"Well, I dunno... I just have this feeling..."
"GAH!!!" Nick shouted, throwing it on the ground. It then decided to stick itself to his belly and little hearts popped out as it started purring.
"Haaaaw, he's not in phain, it likes him!" sighed Nagasha.
"Let's keep it!"
"Yea!"
"No!" Nick whined.
"SKREE! SKREE!"
"Pleeeeeeeeease..." both girls asked, their eyes getting bigger and sparklier by the second.
Nick's eye twitched once then he simply sighed "Okay..."
"Yay!!!!!" they both jumped and hugged Nick and the metroid.
"And just for the record, I would have kept it for you anyway", whispered Sarah.
"Now, I dun' recall gettin' any hugs when I was allowed to stay!" muttered Jax.
"Now, we should come up with a name! How about... Metroidy?" asked Sarah.
Nagasha laughed, then lowered her eyes "No, Sharhah... Let's name it Skree, because that's what it shouts all the time!" she smiled, her fangs glinting.
"Uh..." sweat-dropped Nick.
"That's an awesome name!" jumped Sarah.
"Glad you think so..." grumbled Nick, petting Skree, half-heatedly. Then, he smiled. "You know, this thing isn't half bad..., but I wonder how it tast- AAAAAH!!!"
Skree launched itself onto Nick's face, causing Nick to fall over and Skree just hovered in the air. Skree floated back down and placed itself on his forehead where it began purring and more little hearts popped out. "Skree! Skree!"
Nick was obviously not amused as he jumped up and threw it into a pile containing other dangerous creatures from other series that had attacked him. "I hate dimensional rifts now!", but Skree flew right back like a boomerang and Nick fell down again. "I at least wish I knew if it was a boy or a girl..."
"How hare you so good with these hanimals hand phlants? I'm the only person I know who chan get ha rhandom hanimal to cuddle with them", asked Nagasha, stroking the dog.
"One of the many perks of being a tree-hugger... One of the cool ones anyway, not the dumb stereo-typical ones you see on TV all the time" Nick groaned, but smiled a bit while no one was looking and stroked Skree.
"Uh... Mr. Nick, I'd think it'd be a good idea to make some progress on gettin' to Smash Mansion again, I'd kinda like to see it if ya don't mind", Jax walked over to Nick and touched him on the shoulder.
"He says he wants someone to be nice to him too", replied Nick.
"That's not what I jus' went an' said!!!" shouted Jax.
The girls took it as being embarrassed of his "request" and smiled evilly.
Sarah jumped right up, her hair doing a quick flip, as she bounded over to Jax and poked him in the cheek and hugging him, causing him to blush. Sarah then took her over to sit on her lap. Fortunately, Nick didn't see this, otherwise, he would have gone and thrown another fit.
"Say, Petal, you don't think turning evil was a bad idea do you?" Olimar asked his red pikmin, spinning around in his rolly chair.
Petal, the red pikmin, was silent.
"Mmmm, I don't really care anymore. I don't care too much about anything anymore. I don't care what people think about me, or if I hurt people or not." Olimar continued spinning around.
In fact, he spinned around so fast that his chair flew right out the stinkin' window and since he was on the top floor of a twenty story building, that didn't work out so great for him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Did you hear something?" asked Nola who was cozying it up with Jack.
"Nah, not really..." replied Jack, wiping a little grease off his mask. The cage wasn't exactly "clean".
"You'd think those guards would learn by this point to actually 'guard' the cage..." sighed Lill staring at the empty landscape in front of them.
"Yeah, next time you do a break out, could you do it a bit quieter, please?" Kira whined, crossing her arms.
"I wouldn't be complaining if I were you, if we hadn't gotten here when we had, your little blue friend over there's mind would be totally warped at this point. I'd be a little more grateful since we managed to nab the mask in that confusion", Irani pouted, holding up Majora's Mask.
"Yes, let us all take our turn and talk an equal amount in order to make our creators feel warm and fuzzy and more involved in the story!" shouted Markus.
"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Nola.
"Just being my normal tuna fish lodged inside a tennis racket self..."
"..." everyone paused.
"Well, this isn't awkward at all..." yawned Jack.
"..."
"Hey guys, you hear something?" asked Ala-Gold who had been at the back of the cage, comforting his brother.
Crazy Hand fell through the hole in the roof that Nick had made when he first arrived. He landed directly in front of the cage, hovered up right, and shook the various debris off himself.
"Crazy Hand!!!" everyone shouted.
"You're here to rescue us!!!" cried out Nola.
"Nah, I just came to tell you, that after you all hurry up and get done playing around with this Evil Smashers crap, you guys need to haul some butt and help everyone out that's building YOUR mansion! Master Hand won't let me play with the moon sand I bought with my allowance yesterday until it's finiiiiished!" pouted Crazy Hand.
"What?! No, Crazy Hand, we're being held hostage! We need you to save us and take us back to the Smash Universe!!!" Irani grabbed the bars of the cage and started shaking it.
"Will you tell Master Hand that we're here so he can send some Smashers to come help us free?" Lill also grabbed the bars of the cage.
"Uh... guys, he already left. You're talking to a cardboard cut out of him with a tape recorder glued to the back..." pointed out Markus.
"Broccoli is for wussies! Real men eat guacamole topped off with Cat hair!" crackled the tape recorder.
"Haha! You guys thought I left, didn't you?" Crazy Hand fell back down and crushed the cut out of himself.
"What was the point of that, Hand?" asked Jack.
"Well, Grimm, have you ever actually noticed me do something that wasn't pointless?"
"No, not really"
"Exactly, anyways, see you all when you get done with this madness!" Crazy Hand flew off without another word as everyone watched him with varying expressions, a few of them were rather ticked off.
"Honestly, I've had better days than this", said Olimar to himself, staring at the mossy trees surrounding him. He plucked a few pikmin, shouted some nonsense at them, then continued on his way.
Unfortunately, the forest was littered with characters from various dimensions that had been dumped there through all the worm holes popping up in the universes.
"No! I don't want to buy a stupid MAP!" Olimar was shaking Tingle violently off his leg while several pikmin tried to pull him off.
"Come oooon! Just buy one, I've got to make a living you know!!!"
"HEY! Watch out!" Navi hovered up behind Olimar's head, causing him to trip and fall.
Then, the head of Olimar's company ship flew up to him. "What are you doing? Lazing around, I see. Get up! The President won't be happy to hear th-"
BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!
Olimar pulled the gun out his holster and shot it, causing it to explode, causing Mr. Resetti to pop up.
'Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah, naah nah naah!
Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah, naah nah naah!', Resetti's theme music played on cue, causing Olimar's eye... stub... line thing to twitch.
"Mucking up the dimensional links, I see? That's bad news! Do you know how hard it was for me to get here! You're a total screw up! You should- WOAH!!!"
Olimar interrupted Resetti by punching him with his fist down back into the hole he had dug and dropping a rock on top of it.
Then a hoard of Zubats flew down and started using combinations of super sonic, poison sting, and leech life which caused an extremely annoying pattern of confusion, poisonings, and HP to be slowly sucked away. Eventually, a group of white and purple pikmin managed to subdue the Zubats long enough for Olimar regain health. He pulled out a few mock-master balls from the storage unit on his back and managed to capture at least fourteen of them.
"Maybe I could use these later..." he muttered to himself, storing the Bat-Balls in his container.
Just when he figured the irritating hoards had finally depleted, He found a group of Wii Balance Boards. "Wii? No wait, there are five of you! This is blasphemy! This is madness!"
The boards all turned in unison on Olimar, staring at him sharply... waiting for the next move.
"Maaaadaneeeeeeeesssssss???" sang one of the boards, stepping up. He paused... "This IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the board jumped up and span around, spawning a microphone in midair, but he miscalculated the trajectory and timing of his jump and painfully fell on his back.
"Okay, what's going on here?" asked Olimar.
"Yo, Oli-dog, we're Wii's lil' bros!" a second board stepped up, "The name's Tide, I'm the masta of Yoga!" his skin turned blue and he sprouted a mohawk as he said this.
Another board stepped up "Yea, Yea... I'm... the master of Strength Training... Leaf... is my name...", his skin turned green and he also sprouted a mohawk.
"Yeah, I'd love to hear the rest of your names, but...", started Olimar.
"I'M PYRO!!! THE MASTER... OF AEROBICS...", his skin turned red and he sprouted a mohawk.
"Yeeeeeees, I'm Bolt and I control the Balance Gaaaaaaames... ", his skin turned yellow and he sprouted a mohawk.
"And... Hi, I'm not really the master of anything, I just keep track of the people's favorites and weights and goals and stuff... My name's Toxic by the way...", his skin turned purple and a baby fohawk appeared. "Oh yeah, and we also control the elements as well, Ti-"
"AP, AP, AP, AP! No, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME... Just for that, you don't get to SAY IT WITH U-"
"I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!! Would you be quiet so I can find my way back to my base!?!?!" Olimar boomed, interrupting Pyro.
"Oh... we can get you back home... Hey, dudes, I got an idea...How 'bout, we have a game, to see if you deserve our help.... We do know these woods, inside and out..." murmured Bolt poetically.
"All ya have to do... is get at least a three star ranking in a game from each of us of our choosing... " whispered Tide.
"No wait! I've got a BETTER IDEA! Let's face him! We'll TELEPORT him back if he beats all of us at our own game! That will be AWESOME" hopped Pyro.
"Meh, okay, fine...", shrugged Leaf.
"I hate you stupid boards already..." muttered Olimar.
A few pikmin were suddenly killed by an explosion, followed by a large stage rising up from the ground. All four boards were on it. Tide was behind a DJ stand. Leaf was holding a bass guitar. Bolt held a saxophone and Pyro was dancing in front of the microphone. "ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOOCK....?" bellowed Pyro.
"Dear Mamuta, no..." cried Olimar.
"GET ON UP HERE OLIMAR...!!!"
"No, I'm going home", Olimar released a Zubat who started doing all sorts of annoying things.
"It... It's just that... she won't even look at me anymore!" a teary eyed Shy Guy looked up at a very queasy looking Markus.
"Well, see what you've got to do is get a ton of beer and buy some really skimpy-"
"I think you should get some candles or something... ya, candles...", Lill threw her hand out on to Nola's mouth, hastily interrupting her for obvious reasons.
Nola threw the hand off her "Hmph, no one ever appreciates my ideas...." she pouted.
A little leaf haired figure dropped down from the ceiling ventilation. "Uh, hello? I heard some girl was giving relationship advice here?"
"I'll let one of you handle it this time..." Nola went to the back of the cage and sat on top of Markus who looked like he was going to be sick from all the lovey talk.
Kira walked up to the leaf-haired girl from the previous episode and sat on a little stool. "Aww, but you're so little. You look about eight years old, how could you be having relationship problems?"
The girl looked up at her "Well, I'm actually ninety-six, but yes, in consideration of my current development and mental control, I could be considered to be eight, but see, that's the problem! I'm too little for him. I think he knows I like him too. We met, well, my dad and I... kind of... attacked the ship he was in a couple days before Christmas because we thought he had this certain item... that my dad has been searching for for two years now and... I dunno... I just kind of fell in love when I saw him and this orange power suit robot thing." Hearts bubbled out of her head
Kira paused "Is this boy you're talking about... does he have a shirt with a peace sign on it and a little green pikmin that follows him around?"
Irani perked up and then the plant-girl spoke.
"You know Nick?!"
"Yeah, we're all apprentices under Smashers at the Smash Mansion!" shouted Lill.
"That little twerp has a girlfriend?!" Irani jumped.
Jack's head bobbed up "Woah, Irani. No need to get so sensitive over his love life. The guy hits on everyone, he was bound to impress someone at one point"
"But that just- It doesn't make any- He's so- Augh! Forget it!" Her hair got all frizzy and static started shooting out, but she pushed it back down.
"Whoa" said Ala-Gold.
"Psycho" agreed Bucken-Berry.
"HEY! NO ONE ASKED YOU!" she jumped up and pointed at the Toads.
"M'Kay, Psycho", replied Gold.
Irani gritted her teeth, jumped up in the air, and shot a lightning bolt at him.
"ZRRRZRRRZRKKRKZRKRZRKK!!!" Gold passed out.
"Whoa", gasped Nola, "That was hardcore sister! I remember you talking about the power to control electricity, but I didn't think you were serious!" she jumped up and attempted to give the steaming Irani a high five, but awkwardly fell back down after nothing happened. She then turned to look at the plant-girl.
"Sup?"
The Plant-Girl's eyes went blank, then stared at Nola "AUGH!!! It's you! You're that girl I'm supposed to be here for! Oh no! What am I supposed to do?! My mind went blank! Who am I and what is my purpose in life?!?! AOOOOGH!!" she jumped out of the window.
"Um..." paused Nola. "So, anyone see any good movies lately?"
"Oh... I'm a workin' man, I work all day! I work mm... bleh, and I work all day! I gots some pikmins and I... er... I... work all day! Oh yes I'm a workin' man! Hip Hip Hooray!... And also there was some soup that I made", Nick sang. Then he paused "Y'know, I get the weirdest feeling that Irani just zapped a Toad over me"
The Sun was beginning to set and Nick was preparing stew for the group.
"Mhabye, that's bechause she's yelling habout it over there", Nagasha pointed to the building and one could hear Irani shouting in the distance.
"SKREE!"
"Ouch!"
"Ay', she's over in that prison! Maybe we should rescue her", reasoned Jax. Nick translated.
"Oh no... Oh no, no, no... I don't wanna move anymore" Sarah laid face first on the ground "Let's just sleep here... for a year or two..." she snored.
"Has she been like that halways?" Nagasha asked.
"As long as I can remember", Skree jumped off of Nick's face and gently landed on Nagasha's head.
"Don't worry Nagasha! I'll get that thing off you, with my... Kung Fu Skills!" Nick posed, then hesitated and threw a piece of meat on the ground which Skree attacked.
Nagasha looked at it with her eyebrows furrowed.
"Yeah, I'm so awesome, right? Ch... You should probably go out with me, but..."
Nagasha clawed his face and he fell over screeching in pain about his face or something like that.
"That child gets hall the screen time", Nagasha muttered and looked up to the sky.
One of the clouds gained Quizy's shape and looked back down at Nagasha and smiled. "One of the benefits of being the author's OC, kids! A hurr hurr hurr hurr!!", Cloud Quizy laughed.
Nagasha looked back down and stared off into the distance, eyebrows still furrowed. "I need to lhay off the Chameleon mehat."
"Huh? Nagasha, what's that sound in the distance?" Sarah lifted her head up.
Nagasha listened, mildly curious. She heard shouting off nearby. She looked through a bush and saw a troupe of authors out in the distance carrying torches, pitch forks, and chainsaws.
The troupe reached Nick, Nagasha, and Sarah and stopped. The New Divide stepped forward, followed by Pikana, Moorage, MahNati, and a few others.
"Hey, have you seen Quizy somewhere around here? He's been slacking off in his updates!" Pikana shouted, brandishing Bazookie and cuddling with it menacingly.
Nagasha pointed up to the sky where Cloud Quizy started to panic. "I'm working guys! Really!"
"Get him!" shouted The New Divide, throwing Moorage and MahNati up at the sky as they pointed their weapons at him.
"OH NO!!!" Quizy started running as fast as he could. All the readers who were reading How to SMASH: chased after him...
...Silence...
"...I still hear something", Sarah got up off the ground and looked to the distance along with Nagasha. They peeked through the bush when suddenly, out of nowhere-
BOOM!!
"AAAACK!" They screamed as a menacing round object flew between the two of their heads.
"Mm?" Nick looked up as both of the girls dodged something. They flinched, then all looked down at what had tried to shoot them to see a huge, steel, smoking cannonball. They nervously turned back and looked through the hole in the bush again to see Wii blasting across a field inside a giant tank.
"Hi guys!" she shouted "I'm pretty sure that one of you kids has that Majora's Mask item we oh-so need, so if you could just-" she flipped up in the air and defied the laws of space and time to land one foot away from Sarah. "-GIVE IT BACK BEFORE I CHOP UP YOUR SOULS INTO TINY PIECES AND USE IT AS ICING ON MY BIRTHDAY CAAAAAKE!!!", she moaned turning to her evil form again.
"Uh... Majora's What?" asked Sarah.
"You know, that thing children wehar on Halloween on top of their fhaces for fun!" answered Nagasha.
"THE MASK, YOU FOOLS, THE MAAAAAASK..."
"What are you talking about?!" shouted Sarah.
Thump, thump, thump, thump...
"Oh dehar god", Nagasha stared out to see an army approaching of the Dark Smashers. All three apprentices paused as Ridley flew towards them on his metal wings, followed by the three shadow characters.
Wii slowly fell onto her pegs, turning back to her original form and ominously stated "Step on" while a faint ringing bell could be heard. After no one stepped on for a while, vines grew out from underneath her and grabbed Sarah, forcing her on. She then proceeded to make her do all sorts of difficult yoga poses that were obviously not part of the original Wii Fit.
"Ugh, Nagasha! Gr... If I'm stuttering Wolf's catchphrases, oof, then you must have some sort of connection to your ideal Smasher! Ack! You've got to help me!"
Nagasha knew it must be true as she had been feeling some sort of special connection for awhile now as well as a recent craving for bananas and concentrated on her ideal Trainer while Nick, and the two creatures started running around like morons.
Donkey Kong appeared in her thoughts. He was energetic, strong, and out of bananas. Donkey Kong's rage became clear as he began punching trees all around him. His rage became her rage as her fangs glistened in the sunset. She brought her arm back with an insane force and swung it forward into the robot.
"GIANT... PUNCH!!!" she shouted, her eyes hardening to rock in order to save her new friend Sarah.
Her fist seemingly grew in size as it rocketed towards the white fitness robot. It quickly and fiercely came into abrupt contact with the pain sensors and the Balance Board was sent flying into the sky after it dropped Wolf's apprentice where it shot down Ridley who fell on top of Dark Toon Link.
Aww... Quizy here. Anyways, Here comes the sad part...
Dark Link and Fallen Pit quickly stopped to see the Dark Child being crushed by the Metal Dragon Pirate.
"Brothers! Help me!" he shouted, his blood red eyes appeared to be popping out of his head in a plead for help.
"You were always the weakest of us here", replied Dark Link.
"You don't deserve to be among us!" yelled Fallen Pit, spitting at the younger Dark Link's face.
"I HATE you! I'll slaughter you like swine when you're not looking!" shouted Dark Toon Link, tearing up a bit as the two older Dark Warriors dashed towards the three apprentices.
Fallen Pit smirked "You like him"
Dark Link scoffed "Compared to Dirt?"
"Mm... Maybe..." Fallen Pit arched his back like a cat and shook his one tattered black wing to take off as Dark Link called his Skeleton version of Epona to his side and followed on Horse Back while the field caught on fire in the chaos behind them.
"Oh great! Is if it weren't bad enough, now you're killing the trees! They didn't do anything to you!!!" shouted Nick, ordering Jax to burrow underground to evade the flames while Skree started hugging the back of his head in safety.
Fallen Pit forcefully landed directly behind Nick causing a cloud of dust to fly across the ground.
At this point in time Nick's face could easily be described with "Oh My God, I don't want to die..." as his frame hardened and he stared out in front of him.
Fallen Pit pushed the young metroid away and put his sword on Nick's neck. "Oh, so you're one of those Goody-two shoes whose concerned about the environment, eh? Well, if it concerns you that much, how about I give a little bit of organic matter back to the Earth", he grinned evilly, scraping the sword across Nick's neck causing a little blood to come out.
"S-Skree...", pouted Skree pitifully.
"L-Look, bro, maybe we could work some sort of- BLEACK! Bleack, bleack, bleack!"
"I. AM. NOT. YOUR. BRO. OKAAAY?"
"Cough! Got it! Ugh..., bro, oh wait, oops.."
"OH, how I hate your happy-go-lucky attitude towards life", Fallen Pit screamed quietly in Nick's ear, causing his eyes to water a bit.
"B-But, this is the first time we've even met!"
"Oh, but no, Our Lord Olimar tells us so much of his awesome apprentice. He talks of how he can't even throw a pikmin, breaks down into tears after practice fights, how much of a tree-hugging pussy he is!", he stressed the last part.
"Just because I, erk, love all new life, argh, doesn't mean I'm a pansy!" Nick spat back at him.
"You disgust me, you can't even swear and you're just a child like my little cousin. You don't know anything about life."
"I KNOW MORE ABOUT LIFE THAN YOU THINK!!! I've always", Nick sniveled "I've compared myself with sprouts all of my life. I was hopeless and lost. Sprouts are like that, you can't tell what they will become until they're older. I'm a sprout. I haven't changed yet, but I have leaves", Nick started crying "I have leaves! I promise, I just haven't decided what I'm going to grow into yet!!! I promise!"
"Gee, and I thought I had problems. Here I have a dude comparing himself to a sprout", Fallen Pit looked down and saw a little sprout with a leaf on it. He looked up and saw Nick looking at the leaf affectionately. "Oh, so you like this sprout, do you?"
Fallen Pit's sandal came crashing down on the sprout and Nick flinched.
The normally happy forest that represented Nick's happy place snapped and giant, black vines with thorns began ravaging the forest. Nick's face grew dark and his teeth grew into fangs.
"GRRRAUGH!!!" Nick bit into Fallen Pit's arm, causing blood to poor onto the spot where the sprout had been. The Fallen One-Winged Angel screamed and released the nature-loving apprentice. Slowly, the tattered remains of the sprout grew into the giant, black thorned vine of his imagination and stabbed Fallen Pit straight through the chest where a dimensional void was created as the vine slipped out of his heart. Fallen Pit fell to the ground, surprise eminent in his glass eyes.
Nick looked down angrily, then collapsed, crying. "I'm not used to this violence, dammit. I thought I could warm up if I fought my way slowly, but a blow through the heart is too much! I didn't even know I could do that!!!" He sobbed.
Meanwhile, Sarah was being put into a headlock by Dark Link, while a dark purple fairy laughed in her ear. "Knock it off, Navi" scolded Dark Link and the fairy flew into his pockets.
Dark Link laughed at her as his black fangs dripped with shadows.
"Gah, you're asking for it!" Sarah punched Dark Link in the face.
"Little..."
"Sharhah!" Nagasha came running in, followed by the new pet metroid. She jumped and Skree hopped into her hands, which she flung at the Dark Warrior terrorizing Sarah, causing him to loosen his grip.
"ARGH! DAMN PARASITES!!!" he shouted as Skree latched to his face, slowly sapping his energy. Sarah took her chance and kicked him in the stomach. "URF!" he shouted, dropping her on the ground where she quickly recovered and got into a fighting stance.
"I'll have to take care of this myself", he pulled out a black Claw-Shot with red markings on it, equipping it on his right hand while Skree hopped off of him.
Sarah brandished her fingers into claws and let herself fly forward while her fist found its way into Dark Link's stomach similar to Wolf's forward smash.
"Can't I once get a break?" Dark Link pleaded, dropping his claw-shot.
Sarah picked it up and aimed it at Dark Link while the little Metroid flew away and Nagasha took its place.
"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!!!" bellowed Dark Link, shaking off Nagasha and sending a blast of dark energy at Sarah, knocking the claw-shot out of her hands.
Dark Link pulled a little red, glowing stone out of his tunic and started rolling it around in his hands. He slowly placed it against his chest and began to absorb it.
Sarah recalled her experiences with Legend of Zelda games and remembered the small orange stone that Link would use to transform into a twilight wolf. She noticed the similarities and alerted Nagasha. "I think he's going to transform into some sort of Twilight Beast with that stone!"
Nagasha looked at her with no emotion on her face and nodded.
"You're no fun", muttered Dark Link, his red eyes seemed to be growing larger, and his smile growing into that of a monster's. "I was hoping I... could... surpriiiiise youuuuuu!"
Fur broke out all over his body. It was black and wildly shaking. His arms grew to long, segmented poles, pointed at the end while blood red eyeballs popped up all over his face. Two more pairs of hulkish, segmented arms sprouted out of his torso while his legs transformed into the same thing. Spikes ripped out of his back and his spine hunched over into the shape of a dark tear drop. His face grew hairy and grotesque while pedipalps and fangs sprouted out of his mouth. His whole body shook and he grew to eight and a half feet tall.
Nagasha and Sarah stared at the new creature. Nagasha finally broke the silence "Oh, grehat! It's not ha wolf, or even ha bohar, but ha GIHANT SPIDER, FOR PETE'S SHAKE!!!"
Dark Link chuckled "Heh heh heh, a wolf spider, to be exact! ….........", the rest wasn't understandable as the transformation was completed and he slammed one of his legs into the Earth, creating an earthquake that almost threw the girls off balance.
The Twilight Spider chuckled and began to spark with dark energy. It lunged at Sarah and she instantly grabbed the claw-shot and fired it into beast's face. She got pulled forward and Dark Link screamed, throwing his head back in pain causing her to land on his head. She held on to the claw-shot for dear life while Dark Link tried desperately to shake her off and get the claw-shot out of his eye.
"SHARHAH!!!" shouted Nagasha. She grabbed her hair as she saw her riding the giant evil spider. She looked around desperately, but she realized she was all out of tricks to pull. Skree was tired out. Nick was busy with Fallen Pit; his pikmin was nowhere in sight. All of the surroundings were on fire. Jumping on Dark Link and clawing at him like she would usually do would get her killed. "That's it...", she thought. "We're doomed". Not even her dogs could comfort her now. She had lost her dogs in her home world, but that's when she remembered earlier.
"How hare you so good with these hanimals hand phlants? I'm the only person I know who chan get ha rhandom hanimal to cuddle with them", asked Nagasha, stroking the dog.
"OH! I chan get hany rhandom hanimhal to do what I shay! With hall these dhangerous hanimhals running haround, I'm sure I'll be hable to chall one to help!", she thought. "I'm sure Olimhar keeps some sort of behasts for security... Well,", she paused "Here goes nothing, it's hall I've got!!!"
She took a few steps back, took one last glance at Sarah for motivation, and whistled as hard as she could. A special whistle that was so high and fast paced it would cause any animal that heard it to become extremely enraged. It was a traditional ability on her world. Not that many people used it though, due to various reasons.
TWEEEEEEEET!
Nothing happened. Nagasha was scared, but her mind instantly went from fear to anxiety. The ground started rumbling. Something Nick would have easily identified as a Burrowing Snagret was sleeping underneath them. It was a terrible hybrid bird snake that Olimar had captured for safe-keeping.
Rumbleeeeeeeeeeee...
She instantly regretted it as the ground started to shake. Dark Link threw Sarah off of him and spattered some unintelligible gurgling at her before slowly advancing. Sarah gripped the claw-shot close to her, hoping it would provide her with some sort of salvation. Then, they felt the ground beginning to shake underneath them.
Something was digging. Something Big. And it was coming up fast.
Nagasha felt it coming and quickly jumped out of the way, rolling over to a rock as she hit the ground.
Out of the ground, slowly burst the head of a white feathered bird head with a long, black-tipped beak. It forcefully tugged itself free to reveal a long, scaly blue snake body reaching up to twelve feet high. It gave a fearsome attack-cry as all three heads dropped their jaws at the sight of it.
One of those jaws, however didn't get to close itself, as the snagret bombarded down on top of the grotesque twilight spider, who shrieked in surprise.
"Oh, thank god! Hopefully there won't be any more surprises!" shouted Sarah as Dark Link lay on his back and cringed weakly while the snagret burrowed away.
Then, Dark Toon Link arrived followed by a team of Dry Bones. "Oh... Dangit!" he shouted, throwing his sword on the ground "Of course this would have happened! If only they had taken me with them!" he considered not healing his fellow Darks, but decided against it. "Uh, look guys, we need to go back and get a bottle of Game and Watch blood. We need his shadow bugs to heal these wounds. We're going to need them", he looked at the near-dead spider and glass-eyed angel a distance away and grimaced, but quickly stole a glance at Sarah and Nagasha and glared before pressing his own red gem to his chest, transforming into a Dark Wolf Spider himself as well and skittered back to the Dark Smashers Head Quarters while the Dry Bones Squad followed.
"Oh dear goodness, let's please get out of here before anything else happens!" Sarah shouted to Nagasha, picking up the claw-shot and jumping down a hill towards Nick. Nagasha followed.
Sarah slid down next to Nick and patted him on the shoulder hastily. "Come on, Nickie! We've got to get out of here!"
"I-I... I've never hurt someone before! I ran over a raccoon in driver's ed. once and I cried for half an hour!"
"He's crying?! Hurry Sharhah! I don't whant to run into hanother-"
"Too late!"
The girls turned their head to the small, yet menacing new figure behind them.
Nagasha simply lowered her eyes.
"Now I know how Dark Link feels", growled Sarah under her breath.
Nick pushed his face into the ground, moaning as tears watered the Earth.
"Oh..." Kira looked out the window in her cell, seeing the giant fire and Nick, Sarah, and Nagasha fighting off enemies. "I hope I didn't do anything to set those guys off"
"Maybe it was because you shouted at them and told them to get out of the pit directly behind this building and come and help us", Irani looked at her accusingly.
"Yeah, that's definitely a factor, I'd say", Nola looked around, then lit up her last cigarette, smoking it for all it was worth.
Jack stood up "Look guys, we can't sit around here any longer! We have to go help them!" he shouted pointing at the distressed apprentices.
"I don't get why you don't just utilize the dimensional disturbances working around here to use the abilities of your trainers to bust out of this place?" asked Ala-Gold.
"What?" nearly everyone asked.
"Oh, did we not tell you that due to vast dimensional warping, you all now have a small mental connection to your trainers and you can use their powers?" Bucken-Berry smiled uneasily.
"NO!" everyone shouted back.
"You're as useful as a bucket of popcorn inside of an giant clam's brain", Markus commented wisely, some sort of meaning behind his phrase eminent.
"Alright", Jack walked over to the bars of the cage opposite from the window while Nola, Irani, and Markus followed him. Kira, Lill, and the toads sat and watched "You all ready to do this?"
"Oh! Zank goodneess, I vinally vound all ov vu! Where eez Meester Neek?"
Cheerio, the green pikmin, popped out of nowhere in particular and started talking to his new best friend, Markus.
"Cheerio! It's you! Nick's not here, we're about to bust out of these cages!"
"You know, I just now realized I had a chainsaw with me this whole time", Nola frowned, picking up her chainsaw.
"Hmm..." Cheerio examined the bars "I doubt zis woman's saw vould be able to cut zis bars. Zey're made out of a spezial metal. Probably from zome Nintendo universe". Cheerio thought for a second "I know! Ve Green Peekmin 'ave zee element of Radiation. We 'ave zee power to turn eenvisible, speet acid, and an immunity to harmful rays! I can speet acid on zis bars in unision vith your abilities to melt zee bars! I believe eet will vork Meester Markuz!"
Markus looked at the group. "He's going to spit some acid on one side of the cage while we hit the other side. Then, I guess we're going to help out the other guys"
"Finally! A plan!" Jack shouted, slowly calming down. Coming to a state of inner peace, uniting with Captain Falcon to gain the power of the almighty Falcon Punch.
Markus united with Lucas to gain the power of PK Love.
Nola united with Snake to gain the power of advanced weaponry.
And Irani united with Falco to gain the shooting skill of a master pilot.
And like that, a Burst of Fire, Psychic energy, Grinding of a chainsaw, a Bolt of lightining, and a bubble of acid combined on the bars of the cage to form a Smash Symbol. (Hm...)
The bars cracked and fell off the cage, causing the whole thing to collapse.
"FREEDOM!" shouted Nola, jumping headfirst into the ground.
"Now let's go kick some ass", shouted Jack.
"My name is Dark Kirby, As you must have guessed, I am the Dark Version of Light Kirby" The Shadowy puffball explained to the three apprentices.
"We've got to get out of here", whispered Sarah. "We need to distract him somehow. Maybe we could use Skree"
"Heck no! I'm not your tool anymore, So far, I've gotten cuts and bruises in multiple places. I think I swallowed my own acid, and one of my teeth's broken!" Skree shouted.
"Don't look at me, I only speak plant", Nick replied to the two girl's stares.
"Power of the shiny!" Sarah shouted, throwing a golden watch at Dark Kirby.
"What was that?" Dark Kirby didn't even flinch as the watch landed right in front of him.
"Curse my bad aim! Oh, forget this", Sarah pulled out her new Claw Shot and shot Dark Kirby in the face, but instead of pushing him away, it did the obvious foreseeable, yet unwanted effect and pulled Dark Kirby even closer.
"Why, hello", a single bead of sweat popped up on Sarah's face as she said this, smiling nervously.
Dark Kirby didn't hesitate and rose his foot into the air and brought it crashing down on Sarah's leg.
"AAAAAAACK!!!" she screamed.
"How dhare you!!!" shouted Nagasha, jumping in front of Sarah, pushing him away.
"And now we have made things interesting", smiled Dark Kirby.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK KIRBYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" shouted a voice from the sky.
"What... whas that?" asked Nagasha.
A familiar dark puffball landed from the sky on a dark warpstar. "Hey, brother", greeted Dark Kirby jr. menacingly.
"Ah, little Dark jr. How did you get here?"
"Hitched a ride", muttered Dark, pointing at Mr. Game and Watch who hopped next to him and emitted a short beep.
"Cut the crap, Game and Watch. I've known that you could talk since the day I met you", insulted Dark Kirby.
"Jerk", replied Game and Watch "Bring it on, you pink puffball rip-off!"
"Okay, shadow stickman!"
A mace and 2-D chair collided. The chair broke and Game and Watch swore. This time he pulled out a metal rod lit on fire and threw a few pieces of scalding meat at the Dark Warrior before lunging at him.
"Come on", urged Dark to Nick, Sarah, and Nagasha. "We've got to regroup with the others here. Game and Watch won't be able to hold off my brother for long!"
Sarah and Nagasha were hesitant to the new stranger, but Nick snapped back to his normal self and assured them it would be fine.
"Hey guys, I know a place where we'll be safe, but we need to get out of here, quick", Nick's eyes sparkled with a sort of cleverness to them.
"Where?" asked Dark.
Nick hesitated "...My mama's house. Don't worry though, trust me!" Nick smiled, before running off into the woods.
Nola busted out her chainsaw and sawed off the head of a Dry Bones. "YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE UNDEAD TURTLE?! YOU LIKE THAT?!"
Markus came over and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, calm down lady."
Nola turned on him suddenly " I haven't been able to seduce a man ever since I arrived at this blasted universe! I haven't smoked ANY er... stuff! I haven't been able to get drunk until I'm passed out on the floor! NOTHING! And I am going to get out of this god-forsaken building! AND I AM GOING TO HAVE SOME GOOD.. OL'.. CLASSIC.. AMERICAN.. FUN!!! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!" she shouted to the sky, crushing the Dry Bones head in her palm.
Markus sighed in relief. "Oh, that's good. For a moment there, I thought I should have been worried!" he skipped off cheerfully.
"MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I THIRST FOR ADRENALINE! YOU WILL BE MINE!!!" cackled Nola who ran off spinning her chainsaw around like a maniac.
Kira looked down at the ground. "I don't even know what's going on anymore..."
Jack jumped up after Nola. "Come on ya lazy bums! Let's get movin'!" he charged off after her.
"I'M COMING!!!" shouted Markus following as well.
Kira, Lill, and Irani looked at each other before Irani led them all after the maniacs. "I can't believe I'm not getting paid for this...", growled Irani.
The now group of four trekked through the forest, nervously trusting Nick's judgment in direction and that Dark knew what he meant when Game and Watch couldn't be taken down so easily. Hippy, Pikmin, Metroid, Star Warrior, Human, and Furry all walked side by side, hopping over large cracks running through the Earth's crust and worked together to put out fires which Nick refused to carry on unless they were put out. Nagasha tenderly carried Sarah in her arms who had peacefully fallen asleep due to her broken ankle. Nick walked forward with a mix of pride and exhaustion while Jax and Skree lied on his shoulders. Dark prominently took his rightful spot on the fluffy, soft seat with a higher elevation also known as Nick's head as the two creatures inched away from his dark aura.
Sarah made a faint buzzing sound as her mouth slowly slid open. Nagasha quickly closed it causing Sarah to gently wake up. She smiled.
"Thanks, Nagasha", her face turned red in embarrassment. "But I think I'd better walk", she tried to get down, but flinched when she moved her foot.
Nagasha chuckled. "Ah ah ah! You chan't whalk and either I'm charrying you...", Nagasha looked down at Sarah. "Or he is!" Nagasha motioned towards Nick who didn't have to do anything for him to be eliminated as a choice.
Sarah's eyes widened. "Okay! Okay! You carry me!"
"So... how did that make you feel... you know, when your brother wouldn't play with you as a child?" asked Nick, looking up at Dark thoughtfully.
Dark looked away grouchily. "Look, when are we going to get to your... Mama's house?"
"Oh, soon I guess, but first!" Nick turned suddenly, startling the two girls. "We must pass the THREE CHALLENGES..." he waved his fingers around, magically.
"Three challenges?" asked everyone.
Nick shrugged his shoulders. "Meh, my mama got worried because of all the death threats from the PETA...", he got down onto all fours and the three small creatures hopped off as he started scurrying around, sniffing at things randomly.
"What...?"
"PETA...?"
"Found it!" Nick chimed to everyone. Nick was pointing at a small rock in front of a giant bush. He rummaged through his pocket. "Er... I think I lost my house key...", he looked at everyone, biting his lip nervously.
"Out of my way. I'll take care of this", Dark took out his mace which caught on fire with Dark Flames. Dark blinked, looking at it. "...That's new..." He trudged forward, holding it behind him and smacked the huge shrub, burning it to the ground, revealing a secret maze made out of shrubs.
"Well, that was much easi-Ow...", Sarah moaned, accidentally moving her foot causing Nagasha to sweat a bit again.
Meanwhile...
In a very dark room where nothing was distinguishable save for a small spot of light that managed to illuminate half of a woman's body. She was standing with her back away from the light, staring at a desk filled with thousands of whirring computers while she calmly stirred some sort of substance inside a plastic bowl. Two flowers rushed into the light suddenly, using their roots as legs. However, this wasn't the easiest thing to do so they ended up stumbling onto their faces pitifully.
"Master!" shouted a rose. "We've received word of a breach in the Garden Maze!" it saluted, accidentally knocking over its Lilly comrade.
"Hey! Watch it!"
"Well maybe you should learn to keep better balance!"
"Well maybe you should learn not to smack other people in the face!"
"Well maybe you should not be such a doofus!"
"Well maybe-"
"Well maybe-"
"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BOTE SHUT UP!!!" shouted the woman throwing the plastic bowl at them, two small balls of light appearing where her eyes should be, similar to fire.
"Ack! You got cake batter all over us!"
"You being stupid again. I don't need my son's workers acting stupid when he gets back from dat Smash Bros Thing..."
"Sorry Master! It won't happen again!" bowed the flowers, walking away into the darkness.
"WAIT!!!"
They both tripped and then pushed themselves up so they could turn around.
"First, we mast release the Guard Dekus..."
"Yes Mam!"
The light reflected off the woman's smile. "Wonderful!"
"Run, Nagasha! Run! I have too many shinies back home for me to die!!!" Sarah stuck her head into the air shouting while Nagasha attempted to evade being hit by the violent Deku nut storm and skillfully working her way through the maze.
Dark Kirby jr. ran in front of the two girls and whistled to his Warpstar, causing it to hover gently in front of them while keeping up with their pace. Dark jumped on and turned around to inhale an incoming Deku nut and spit out a barrage of tiny explosions in return, diminishing the first layer of mad Dekus chasing them. "Hop on", he called to the girls.
Nagasha grunted and leaped on to the star as Skree flew up to join them. All four hovered up to a higher level safe from the Deku storm.
Nick looked up at the star pitifully while running for his life as the Deku mob closed in on him. "Okay guys!" he started sweating madly. "You're gonna come get me now right?" he pleaded.
"Sorry", Dark called. "There's no more room". He flew away as Nick's face started to resemble that of a zombie's whose jaw had just fallen off.
Out from behind a corner of the hedge maze appeared a large gray hamster-pig-minotaur looking creature who roared fiercely and charged for Nick.
"Oh my-!"
The creature tackled him into the Deku mob and he slowly began to lose sight of the sky, reaching his hand out into the air in the hopes of being rescued as he slowly sank into the Mad crowd. "CURSE YOU DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!!"
"OH MY GOD! It's a dead fish!!!" a green star warrior shouted excitedly, pointing towards a dead fish on a counter.
The woman from before turned around, still enshrouded in darkness. "Er... yes. That is a dish I was preparing. Mama has to keep practice, you know?"
"A dead fish?!" shouted a girl with white wings with black tipped feathers. "Gimme, gimme!"
"Wait! Wait! It hasn't been cooked properly!"
"Too bad!" An extremely tough looking boy with short blonde hair snatched the fish, eating it promptly.
"Aw!" cried the winged girl.
"Shinjuku! Rinku! Quit mezzing around!"
"Sorry", apologized the winged girl and the tough boy.
Shinjuku walked up next to the woman. "Why are you standing in the shadows like that so we can't see your face?"
The woman looked at her. "Wat? Wat are you talking about? I was just standing in random spot!"
"No... I think... I think... um...", the green star warrior trailed off.
"Um... I think Danod is trying to say that... um... well... Jeese?" a fragile looking girl with two long black ponytails with silver highlights started.
An emo looking guy with blonde hair and green eyes looked up. "Poor Zen, social skills aren't your thing, are they?" Jeese chuckled. "The little puffy's trying to say you're acting awful suspicious, as if you're hiding something by hiding in those shadows like that!"
Zen nodded a thank you gesture.
"Attaaaaaack!" shouted Danod, jumping on the woman's head and driving her into the light.
Cooking Mama (If you hadn't guessed) stumbled out into the light and shook the green thing off of her head. She dusted off her apron and raised an eyebrow accusingly.
"Well? Wat are you looking at? Mama is busy!" she sighed and went back into the shadows to the front of the monitor.
"I think we lost them!" shouted Sarah over the blast of wind.
"Hey you guys!"
"But first I think we need a plhace to lhand", shouted Nagasha.
"You don't have to shout in my ear you know...", muttered Dark.
"HEY! GUYS! I'm down here!"
"What whas that?!" shouted Nagasha.
"I said you don't have to shout in my ear!" shouted Dark.
"No, not that! I think someone's calling us!" called Sarah.
"Hey, you left me to get beaten up by a minotaur thing, the least you could do is not ignore me!!!" shouted Nick from down below.
"Oh, look, there's that guy", growled Dark.
Nick was laying on the ground. He was covered in a full body cast and he was hooked up to an IV system. A few flowers were tending to his needs and Jax was patting him on the head. He was on a soft patch of grass behind a large house looking facility.
"I think I'll die now, but don't worry, I'll come back to life later", he fell asleep.
The group landed next to him and all got off the Warpstar.
Nagasha carried Sarah over next to Nick and set her down.
"I guess I'll... die too. Doesn't sound like that bad of an idea. Just make sure I... wake up...", she passed out next to Nick who started smiling. Then, Sarah rolled over the other way and he started frowning.
The flower people walked over to her and Nagasha sighed. "She has a broken hankle. Mhake sure she hehals soon".
They nodded and whispered something to each other. One of them did a thumbs up sign and went inside the house.
Dark walked over to a garden and sniffed it, carefully. Suddenly, he sneezed and exhaled fire all over the garden, causing all the flowers and crops inside of it to become shriveled and black.
Dark took a step back and grunted, wiping his nose. "Ugh... Petunias... Disgusting and vile. Why would anyone want to spend their time growing such weak things, but... more importantly, where are we?"
"FRIENDLY FRIENDS!!! MAYBE THEY'LL GIVE ME CANDY!!!" barked Shinjuku, barreling out of the house and tackling Dark.
Dark belched and attempted to hold back his barf as the winged girl laid on top of his little body. "Get... off!" he shouted, pushing her off. "What makes you think I would have candy?!?" he growled.
"AAAAAACK! SCARY GUMBALL!!! GO AWAY!!" she flew off, back inside the house.
"A-and... the he told me to g-get off! And t-then, HE DIDN'T HAVE CANDY!!!"
Cooking Mama groaned, coming out of the house as she took out a chocolate bar and fed it to Shinjuku.
"YAAAAAAY!!! CANDY!!!!!" she flew to the top of the roof and started munching on the candy bar.
Cooking Mama turned to Dark and Nagasha, smiling nervously and scratching the back of her head.
"I apologize about de trouble. I assume you were PETA members attempting to break in my house! I really do apologize, I hope you all forgive Mama", she smiled politely, giving a short bow in respect.
Nagasha looked at her critically, then finally sighed. "Halright, mham. It's fine."
"Yeah...", Dark grumbled.
Cooking Mama sweat dropped and turned so that she could look at something else.
"Hi, Mama, can my friends and I stay here for a couple days?" asked Nick, squinting his eyes.
DUN!
An exclamation point appeared above Cooking Mama's head.
"HIIIIIIYA!!!" she shouted, leaping into the air and drawing up a knife.
"What the crap?!?!" shouted everyone...
Earth dweller and Parallel Universe resident alike stared in amazement as the little orange pikmin glared at Cooking Mama as her knife collided with his long, dirty claws. He pushed her away, but she threw a sizzling steak into his face causing him to screech in a lizardish sounding language. His stem turned bright yellow as he quivered in anger, then suddenly turned back to normal.
Shinjuku was hiding behind Nick and Sarah's half-asleep bodies while Nagasha and Dark evaluated the scene, unsure of what to do.
Cooking Mama took out a spatula and started spinning around until she caught Jax, flipping him up into the air, then smacking him against the wall.
"What you think you are doing cutting my son's life support system?!" she shouted.
"Mama! It's okay, that's my pikmin! He's fine!"
Jax's eyes widened in fear as he began sweating. "I-I dunno what you're talkin' about! I'm just a plain old pokemon!"
Mama's eyes glared at the pikmin. "What are you again?"
"Did he just... thalk?" asked Nagasha.
Jax glowered at Mama and then he grinned. "Bwahaha! You found me out! Papa's going to be angry though, he wanted me to at least hurt someone!" Jax's doppelganger started shooting fire out of his mouth, which hit Mama in the face, causing her to drop him. Then, the doppelganger turned into a shadowy blob, but not before Mama took out a frying pan, scooping him up.
The blob started shaking in terror, slowly turning into a pile of yellow scales, then slowly working its way into the shape of a small Koopa.
Bowser jr.'s huge koopa eyes looked up at Cooking Mama and slowly started to water. "BWAAAAAH!!! Please don't eat me!! I have to get back to my Papa before dark! He gets worried you know!!" he cried.
"Oh, why would I eat you when we can use you for so much more?" Mama's eyes glinted and she slid her tongue along the knife.
"Uh... Mama?" Nick piped.
"Yes?"
"Can I go get herbs for when we cook him?"
Mama's eyes turned into flames as she whacked Nick with the frying pan. "WE'RE NOT EATING HIM!!!"
"Ow!"
All four wii balance boards stood quivering behind fallen trees as smoke steamed up from random, burnt places. Olimar gripped his gun tightly and the Zubat was having a seizure on the ground due to its own super sonic waves. Olimar kicked it and it stopped moving.
"Okay! Okay! We'll take you wherever you want! Just don't hurt us!"
"Yes, please don't hurt us!"
"Much better...", smiled Olimar. "...NOW TAKE ME BACK TO MY HEADQUARTES!!!" he boomed at the boards. The green one who had said his name was Leaf earlier stepped forward.
"Okay..., it's that one giant, decrepit building next to the city, yet still on the edge of the forest? I'll take you..."
"Then shut up and get moving", growled the space delivery man.
"Could you?... not.. be.... so......... mean?" Leaf attempted to ask, but as the captain's glare darkened more and more as the balance board attempted to speak, his courage slowly diminished.
"I'M SORRY!!!!" he shouted, running off a distance, then stopping to let Olimar catch up.
"So Olimar?" asked the red balance board who's name Olimar couldn't remember after they had walked a good distance back to the Dark Smashers Headquarters.
"What's your name again?"
"I was wondering... what made you become evil?"
"That's none of your business"
Leaf, the green board, cowered up to the red one. "P-please, Pyro... don't make him mad..."
"Don't worry, I won't", replied Pyro. "So... I heard you got some apprentices up at the Smash Mansion recently? How's that going?"
"Well... we're attempting to find Majora's Mask now so that we can force it on to one of them and use them as a puppet for a bigger purpose".
"You mean you lost it?"
"Recently, yes, I sent my subordinates to find it, then I fell out the window and into the forest".
All the wii boards snickered. Luckily for them, Olimar was busy wiping a smudge off his helmet, so he didn't hear.
"Oh... so how's Master Hand going to react to you stealing one of his apprentices for your own nefarious desires?"
"That hand no longer has control over me and I have a plan as well"
"Oh??? A plan?" Pyro continued on. None of the other boards had the guts to speak to Olimar.
"Yes, seeing as I can't set foot in Smash Mansion after someone reports all this, Master Hand will have me on his death list, so I've asked Ganondorf to create a specific spell..."
"A spell, you say?"
"This spell will allow me to... well, I'll be able to go back to the Smash Mansion without being confronted, that's for sure"
"Olimar, you sly dog"
"Don't..."
"Sorry"
"I've asked Ganondorf to do a memory implant spell, so that all the apprentices recall some random memory where everything goes just fine and dandy and they don't find out that the tiny space delivery man is evil and blah blah blah..."
"Sounds complicated"
"Yeah... maybe I should have just hired that witch, Ashley, after all"
"Um... Olimar, we're here...", informed Leaf.
The rugged, old building moaned as the wind blew through it upon Olimar's return.
"Perfect... Let's go inside, shall we?"
A faint scream sounded from inside the building and Olimar rushed inside, his newly donned cape swinging behind him.
He entered the first door he saw just in time to witness Fallen Pit laying on an operating board cut open in various spots as shadow bugs crawled inside, reanimating him along with a giant grotesque wolf spider on the ground next to him.
Olimar groaned and pushed his face into his hand while Dark Toon Link who had been forced into a skimpy nurse's outfit grudgingly began administering shots into both patients. He looked at Olimar showing a face so filled with rage and disgust while the other Dark Smashers laughed that not even a mother could love it.
"Get out of that outfit, boy", Olimar ordered, making a hitting gesture. "And just what happened down here?"
Dark Toon Link ran out of the room shouting various colorful words and making all sorts of rude gestures. An explosion could be heard in the other room and a few seconds went by. Then, Dark Toon Link returned in his usual tunic, grumbling things that would cause kittens to die if they heard it.
Claus then floated up from the counter on which he was sitting, then landed in front of Olimar, saluting his lord.
"Sir, The captives escaped while we were searching for Majora's Mask. We believe they may have stolen it and they have taken refuge in the city. A separate group of Dark Smashers confronted the other two that had escaped"
"My apprentice and that one girl"
"Yes, apparently, there was a third as well. They also managed to fight off Wii, Fallen Pit, Dark Link, and even our newest recruit, Dark Kirby".
Olimar glowed a fiery red, then plucked a purple pikmin and punched a hole through its stomach. "WHAT?! That's just three kids! How could they do such damage?!"
Dark Kirby walked out of the shadows covered in dried dark blood with his hands wrapped in bandages behind his back. "The only reason they managed to defeat me is because my little brother found out what was going on and managed to convince Game and Watch to see the light. He distracted me and all of them managed to run away into the forest although I did manage to capture Game and Watch. He's in the interrogation room. Not only that, but I think two of them managed to pull off Final Smashes."
"FINAL SMASHES?! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT WHEN THEY'RE ONLY KIDS AND HOW DID YOUR BROTHER FIND OUT?!?! IF HE HADN'T CONVINCED GAME AND WATCH TO BECOME GOOD THEN NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!"
Dark Kirby sighed with his eyes closed, then looked towards Olimar. "As for the Final Smashes, I know no more than you, but as for my brother finding out... It was most likely the Star Connection"
"The Star Connection?" Olimar asked, confused.
"Here, you should come with me and I'll explain", Dark Kirby offered holding out his hand towards the opposite room, sweating nervously.
"No, not yet. You're hiding something. What is it?"
"Um..." paused Dark Toon Link, Claus, and Dark Kirby, their faces turned ghost white.
"WE DIDN'T SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM AND FIND ANYTHING!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T MAUL US AND FEED US TO THE BULBORBS!!!!" they all ran around crazily, scattering to various rooms.
"WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS, DISGUSTING ABOMINATIONS!?!?!? WHAT... DID... YOU... FIND?!?!" Olimar shouted, chasing after them.
In the real world, on the planet Earth, in the country known as the friggin United States of America, way out in the country, in a building on the edge of a small town, on the top floor, in Olimar's office, next to the broken window, in a mahogany desk, in the middle left drawer, in a tiny box that had just that day been broken into and defiled... was a tattered love note of Olimar confessing his undying love to Bounty Hunter, Samus Aran, by using the most godawful poetry that man has ever known.
"YOU READ MY WHAAAT?!?!"
Oh yeah, who's Da Quiz Master? *Does a shuffle of joy*
Oh, and perhaps you noticed the lack of a SMASH APPRENTICE and then a paragraph that no one cares about. Hence the title- things get Serious. I'll talk about it more at the end.
1. As of now, Team Teeth is made up of Nagasha, Nick, and Sarah. Nick is actually the oldest as he turned sixteen last February, so he is the unofficial leader. This is why the girls have to ask him if they can keep Skree.
2. I'm afraid Nagasha and Sarah might be a bit OOC. Nagasha is a bit cold, while Sarah is normally shy.
3. Markus says weird things sometimes...
4. Now that there are at least twelve apprentices, Master Hand has started construction on Smash Mansion. Crazy Hand is currently pouting because he doesn't get to play with his moon sand.
5. My god, Zubats were the bane of my existence in Pokemon games. In fact, I remember one time when I was play my Gameboy Advance SP (Remember that bad boy?) and I was battling a golbat. THE THING... MANAGES TO KO MY FULL HEALTH LVL 60 VENUSAUR BECAUSE I'M POISONED, I CAN'T ATTACK BECAUSE I'M CONFUSED, AND IT KEEPS HEALING ITSELF WITH LEECH LIFE!!!!!!! I ended up getting so pissed off that I snapped the thing in half. Was not mu greatest idea...
6. Great... More unnecessary OCS
7. I'll remind you again I'm not pitiful enough to make someone up to pair with Nick. Little Leafy will be left in the rain. It's a humor thing, not a romance.
8. Yea, Irani has lightning powers and Nick was a pacifist.
9. PETA= People's ethnic treatment of Animals or something like that, I dunno. Another stupid government group of Fat Cats to me.
10. I hope I did the Japanese accent right... Oh, and personally, I think Cooking Mama's psycho.
11. Two things to remember about Shinjuku: She loves candy and is scared easily
12. Wii's bros remind me of Alvin and the Chipmunks
13. Gasp, Foreshadowing
(Almost done... just finish the author's notes and I can go to bed. Hang in there, Quizeh. We're almost there.)
14. Dark Toon Link is everyone's chew toy. Get used to him being picked on.
15. Get used to Olimar's constant shouting too. He does that a lot nowadays.
16. Yes... the Star Connection. Personally, I was just makin' up some random crap... You know, most of the time I don't have any idea what the hell I'm doing while I right. (WHOA, WHOA, Chill Quizeh, here, take five). Okaaay, so enjoy that little joke at the end of Olimar writing terrible poetry to Samus... maybe I'll write a series of one-shots about the Smashers' most regrettable love days... Coming up with something to end the chapter with was hard!
FINALLY! On to business! Basically everything I wrote in the first chapter about joining and the DNA and the powers and the plot line has been carelessly tossed out of the window. I'm adopting a NEW style! New rules! Less professional and less n00bish! Works out perfectly with the first ten (yes, it's been ten chapters!) as sort of a prologue. From no on, it will be first person point of view, switching between Olimar's and... a person to be reviewed next chapter!
REVIEW UP, KIDDIES!!!