Severide was in his quarters getting ready to send a text to Casey when Herrmann knocked on the door and showed himself in. "Severide."

"First time today, Herrmann, I swear," Kelly said.

"Huh? No, how's Casey doing?"

"I don't know, Herrmann," Kelly sighed as he put his phone down and turned to the acting lieutenant, "Is it possible for somebody to get better and worse at the same time?"

"What's going on?" Christopher asked.

"Shut the door. Herrmann, if I tell you what's going on, you have to swear you won't tell anybody, not anybody, this can't be the usual firehouse gossip that gets around to everybody working here before noon."

"Hey, you think I can't keep my mouth shut?" Herrmann asked.

"You can't tell anyone, not even Mouch. Not even Cindy."

"Okay, you got my word, now what's going on?"

Severide gave Herrmann a basic rundown on what had been going on the last few days, and it took half an hour just to give him the basics.

"Aw geez that's rough, poor Casey," Herrmann concluded at the end of it all.

"He is scared to death that if anybody finds out what's going on, nobody's going to respect him anymore," Kelly said.

"That's a very primal fear for people in general, especially for firefighters because we've had to spend so long proving ourselves to everyone," Herrmann commented. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand it."

"I don't know what to do," Severide told him.

"Maybe there's nothing you can do," Christopher suggested, "this could just be something Casey has to work out for himself."

"I can't just abandon him, Herrmann."

"I'm not telling you to, look Kelly, I know you think it's your job to somehow fix this for Casey, but some things just happen on their own, without everybody trying so hard. Hey," Christopher looked him in the eyes, "I won't tell on you, you don't tell on me, is that a deal?"

"About what?" Kelly asked.

Herrmann raised a hand to halt any questioning and looked to the door to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, he turned back to the Squad lieutenant and told him, "After I got stabbed at Molly's, and I finally got to come home from the hospital, I get there, Luke, Annabelle and Max are sleeping with Cindy, Lee Henry's been wetting the bed and he can't sleep unless all the lights are turned on in the room. What the hell? I was gone a week and a half, I come home and my whole house is turned upside down. None of this was going on when I went through that floor four years earlier. Top it all off, I start dreaming about that night, trying to block the knife, next morning Cindy's got a black eye going all the way down her cheek because I whopped her in my sleep and didn't know it. Thought I was losing my mind, I didn't know how to fix everything."

"What'd you do?" Kelly asked.

"Cindy got the idea we should take the kids to one of those child psychotic therapists," Herrmann said, "whatever they're called."

Kelly covered his face with his hand and tilted his head down so Herrmann couldn't see him trying very hard not to laugh.

"Anyway, the therapist says we gotta give the kids time to adjust to me being home again and figure out everything's okay, that we just gotta be patient...so we do...you know, 2 months later, Lee Henry's sleeping like a bear again, kids back in their own beds, everything's fine. Just had to wait it out."

"Casey's getting tired of waiting," Kelly replied, "and I don't blame him, it's already nearing a month."

"Yeah, but what happened to Casey is far worse than Frankie stabbing me," Herrmann told him, "It's going to take longer for him to recover from that. In the meantime, anything we can do to help him, we will, just give us the word."

"I know, Herrmann, but I don't know what, I don't think Casey does either."

Severide's next night off shift, he was sitting in the living room of Casey's apartment watching TV when Matt entered the room, looked at him, and said only, "Green bandages, huh?"

Kelly sat up and turned off the TV. "You think of something?"

"Maybe," Casey replied. "Can I borrow your car?"

Severide raised an eyebrow. "Something happen to your truck?"

"No," Casey said simply, volunteering nothing else.

Kelly tried to chew on that one, but the only question that made any sense to ask next was, "You mind if I come along?"

Casey shrugged, "If you want to."

Kelly stood up and tossed his keys to Casey.

"Where're we going?" he asked as he put his jacket on.

Wherever they were going, they were going to get there at a faster rate than the speed limits permitted. Kelly wasn't sure how long they'd been in the car, but he knew Chicago was already far out of their reach. He wasn't even sure if Casey knew where he was going, or had ever been on this road, but he'd gotten them out of the city limits very quickly and now they were in a secluded rural part of the state where there were no buildings, no houses, no traffic, and the only light they could see by was his headlights. God help anybody or anything that would happen to step out in the middle of the road as they were passing, Severide hadn't been able to get a good look at the speedometer but he knew there was no way in hell they'd be able to stop in time to avoid hitting anyone.

"Casey..."

Matt's eyes stared straight ahead at something on the road, like he was chasing something down, and the glare in his eyes said he wasn't going to stop until he caught it.

"Casey."

The Truck lieutenant didn't respond to his name, not verbally, not by any movement in his face. It was like he didn't hear Kelly, almost like he wasn't even there. Kelly looked out the window and though it was too dark to see much of anything, whatever was out there passed them by in a blur. The roar of the engine was already deafening but it got even louder as Kelly realized Casey pressed the accelerator closer to the floor and they were going even faster now, so much so that Kelly was knocked against the back of his seat.

Up ahead there was a light, and it was moving, and as they approached it, Severide saw it was the front of a train passing by on the tracks, and Kelly felt his stomach drop as he realized Casey wasn't slowing down even though they'd be approaching the tracks in just a few seconds.

"Casey!"

That same determined hunter's glare in Matt's eyes as he stared straight ahead, seemingly at nothing. The thought dawned on Severide to try and grab the wheel but he already knew that would be a suicidal move for sure. Through the closed windows, over the roar of the engine, he was able to hear the unmistakable blare of the train's horn as they neared the tracks. There was hardly time to blink.

The car jerked as they went over the tracks and Severide felt his heart jump in his throat as he heard the deafening roar of the train as it passed by and it started to occur to him that they had gotten over the tracks just in time. How much time? Surely only a couple more seconds and they would've been killed.

"Casey!"

There was still no change in Matt's eyes as he drove them along at top speed, going where? Kelly didn't know where, but as he felt his heart pounding against his chest and racing like a horse, he had a good idea Casey could very easily be taking them out to kill them both, whether deliberately or not, the way he was driving it didn't seem to make much difference.

Just when Severide seriously started to think he was going to lose his mind, he realized they were starting to slow down, not much, not enough to be out of any immediate danger from anymore unexpected obstacles, but the scenery speeding past was starting to disappear behind them at a slightly slower rate.

"Casey?"

Still no answer. Severide breathed in, and out, and waited for his heart to stop pounding, and watched out the window as things started to pass by gradually slower, and slower, and finally Casey stopped the car in the middle of an empty field.

"Casey?" Kelly turned to him, wondering what had just happened.

Casey turned towards him, looked at him for a minute, then told him, "Thanks...you don't know what it's like to feel alive again."

Severide sucked in a long and particularly loud breath. Casey felt alive, and he just about gave him a heart attack. Kelly realized for all he was huffing and puffing trying to catch his breath, Casey's breathing patterns didn't seem to be different from normal in the slightest. He didn't get it. But he knew now why Casey had asked to borrow his car, there was no way he could've gone as fast and made all the sharp twists and turns that he had in his pickup truck.

Dryly, Severide asked him, "You mind if I drive us back?"

Without any apparent care in the world, Casey shook his head and reached for the door, "No, go ahead."

Kelly was never so glad to be home. It had taken them an hour and a half driving the speed limit, but they finally returned to Casey's apartment. He couldn't feel the bones in his body, after what he'd been through earlier he felt like one big mass of jelly. He made his way over to the couch on wobbly legs and collapsed on the center cushion. A couple minutes later, Casey entered the apartment, he looked tired but otherwise seemed unfazed by what had happened.

Severide put his own exhaustion and terror of the night aside and asked him, "Hey, you feeling alright?"

Casey looked at him and nodded as he locked the door. He padded over to the couch and asked Kelly, "Can I ask you a question?"

Kelly shrugged. "Sure."

Casey looked at him and asked uncertainly, self consciously, "What if they do laugh at me?"

"What?"

"If I do go back to 51, if anybody would find out about what's been going on...what if they do laugh?"

The unasked question hung in the air, 'What do I do then?', but since it was unasked, Severide forewent answering it, and instead answered only, "Then I'll kick their ass, and that's a promise."

Casey shifted his gaze down to the floor for a minute, then back up at Severide, and his mouth slowly turned upwards into a small smile. He pressed one bent knee on the couch so he matched Kelly's current height and hugged him, saying only, "Thank you."

Kelly reached around with one arm and patted Casey on the back. "No problem, buddy."

Casey was alone in his apartment two days after the next shift when his phone buzzed, he knew one person it couldn't possibly be, so he answered before he checked.

"Hello?"

"Hey lieutenant," Cruz said, "how're you doing?"

It seemed every other day somebody called and asked the same question, and Casey still wasn't sure if it was a trick question or not. "Fine."

"Is Severide there?"

"No, he broke a tooth last night, he got an emergency appointment at the dentist." And he was looking forward to Kelly coming home with a jaw full of Novocaine and hopefully unable to talk, he loved the man like a brother and he knew Severide meant well, but lately he'd been grating on his nerves.

"Well...you've been to Otis and me's apartment, right?"

"Uh yeah, a couple years ago."

"Well, could you come over now?"

"Why?" Casey asked.

"I got something I want to run by you," Joe said.

"And you can't do it over the phone?" Casey asked.

There was a slight pause before Cruz responded simply, "No."

Casey shrugged. "Okay, I'll be there in a little bit." He disconnected the call, and wondered what the hell that was about.

"Cruz," Casey told the man, "This is a stupid idea."

"I'm telling you, lieutenant, it will work," Joe insisted. The two stood on the sidewalk outside the apartment building Otis and Cruz had been living in for the last few years.

"Cruz, I am not going to talk to Otis's grandmother about what happened to me!"

"I know what you're thinking," Cruz told Matt, "but I'm telling you, it will help."

"How? Didn't Otis say she doesn't understand a word of English?" Casey asked.

"That's why it's perfect," Joe said, "trust me, it works, Babba is like a miracle worker."

Casey shook his head, "Forget it, I'm not doing it."

"Come on, lieutenant, what do you have to lose?" Cruz asked.

"My dignity is still somewhere on that list," Casey responded, "Not much of it has survived the past few weeks but I'd like to keep part of it intact."

Joe sighed and tried again, keyed down this time, "Casey, if Babba doesn't understand a word of English, why does it bother you so much?"

Matt looked to the side for a moment, then looked back at Cruz and asked lowly, almost ashamed, "You don't think Otis told her what happened, do you?"

Cruz looked him in the eyes and answered with a shake of his head, "You know he wouldn't betray you like that."

Casey reluctantly nodded, he knew it, but anymore he found it hard to be sure of anything.

"Just try it," Cruz said, "I promise, you'll feel better if you do."

"Oh my God, Severide told you, didn't he?"

"Hey, between you and me, lieutenant, it's a common fact that nobody wants to talk to shrinks...it'll be easier to tell Babba," Joe told him.

Casey sighed and gave up, "Alright...alright, I'll try it."

"Great, come on, she's upstairs waiting."

"I hope there's booze in the house, there's no way I'm going through this sober," Casey said.

Brian stepped off the elevator carrying two sacks of groceries for dinner that night, and saw Cruz standing in the hall right outside the door to their apartment.

"Sorry I'm late, you would not believe the traffic that-" it occurred to Otis that something was off, "what're you doing out here?"

"Sh!" Cruz told him, and pointed behind him towards the door, "You gotta see this."

"What happened?" Otis asked.

Cruz shushed him again and told him, "Be quiet."

"Why?"

"Just do it," Cruz whispered.

Otis didn't get it, but he'd go along with it. "Okay, fine."

"Be quiet!" Cruz whispered.

"I'm quiet!" Brian replied in a loud whisper.

"Step lightly."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Otis put the bags down as Cruz slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, the two of them quietly stepped inside, and got halfway through the living room before they both stopped, Cruz because he knew what to expect, and Brian because he didn't believe what he was seeing.

From the living room both men could see into the kitchen, and Otis felt his jaw drop at the sight of Matt Casey sitting at the table, his back to them, his head down, and his arms wrapped around Babba, who stood over him and murmured something soothing and Russian as she held him in her arms and patted his back. With every few breaths Casey took, a small sob could be heard halfway across the apartment. Cruz and Otis quickly and quietly backed out of the apartment and Cruz pulled the door all but shut.

"What happened?" Otis wanted to know.

Joe turned to him and explained, "I told Casey he should talk to Babba about what happened."

"Joe..." Otis squinted, "I've explained before that she doesn't understand a word of English, right?"

"That's why it's perfect," Cruz said, as if it made total sense, "he doesn't have to worry about her repeating it to anybody."

"Uh-huh," Otis slowly nodded in an 'I don't get it' manner, "and how did you think that would help him?"

"Otis, he talked to her for a whole hour," Cruz explained.

Brian felt his eyes bulge. "What?"

"Uh huh," Cruz nodded.

Otis turned back towards the door and pointed, "And that?"

"They've been like that for the last half hour," Cruz answered.

"How..." Brian felt like his mind was blown beyond the ability to form words, after a few seconds he tried again, "how did you know it would work?"

"Because I know Babba," Cruz told him. "That woman is a miracle."

Casey cupped his hands under the faucet and splashed another batch of cold water on his face. He turned off the tap and stood up straight and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like crap. Reaching over to the side, he found a hand towel and dried his face and hands, and exited the bathroom.

Otis's grandmother seemed to be waiting for him when he came out. The short woman hugged him and said something he didn't understand, but he thought he got the gist of it. He bent down and hugged her in return, then got his jacket and headed for the door. The hallway was empty, he took the stairs down, didn't pass anybody on the way. Out on the street he got in his pickup and drove back to his apartment, and only once he settled down on the couch did he take out his phone and dial up Cruz's number. It rang a couple times.

"Yeah, lieutenant?"

"Thanks," was all Casey said.

Kelly came home late in the afternoon and kicked the door shut behind him. He would've been back a couple hours earlier, except the dentist who fixed his tooth from last night said he'd found three other cavities that needed filling and decided to get them all done at once, which had meant a couple more needles full of Novocaine, so his whole jaw was numb and felt huge, and another hour or so in the chair. After that he'd started to drive home, but the drugs made him feel lightheaded, so he pulled over to rest for a few minutes, then woke up and realized he'd slept for almost an hour. He'd checked his phone every chance he got, no messages from Casey, no missed calls, which he took as a good thing, anyway he tried not to think of all the different scenarios that could've taken place while he was gone.

"I'm home," he called out, the words were distinct but his lips felt dead as he spoke. He looked around the living room. "Casey?" No sign of him, and no answer. Kelly headed over to the kitchen and tried again. "Casey?" Still nothing. Then he heard something, and realized it was water running from the bathroom. He went over to the bathroom door and listened for a minute, the water shut off, and he heard the shower curtain get pushed back, he stepped away from the door and a minute later Casey stepped out wrapped in a towel, and recoiled at the sight of Severide.

"Geez you scared me to death, I didn't hear you come in," he said.

"Sorry," Kelly said.

"What happened to you?" Casey asked, knowing Severide should've been back long before this.

"Don' ashk," he replied, some feeling slowly returning to his jaw. He looked at Casey and realized he looked different somehow, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked at his friend, whose skin was flushed from the hot water, and he realized that Casey's eyes were red rimmed as if he'd been crying, but he also noticed that Casey appeared somewhat brighter eyed than he had since he woke up in the hospital.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

Casey looked at him and slowly nodded, "Yeah...I think I am."