"PICK PETRA, SHE'S YOUR FRIEND!"
"PICK GABRIEL, HE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT. HE'S DOING!"
"GABRIEL!"
"PETRA!"
"GABRIEL!"
"PICK THE ONE THAT SOUNDS LIKE ELLIE FROM THE LAST OF US!"
"EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP- GOSHDINGUS I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON!" Vanitas raged.
"...Welp, now Petra's screwed. Good goin' there-"
Just then the door opened and a weathered And worn Muchina walked in.
"Well well well, look who finally decided to write again." Saix sneered.
"Shh, don't make fun of my precious." Andre hissed, nearly crushing Muchina in a hug.
"Can't breathe..." Muchina gasped For air.
"Fiiiiine..." Andre let her go.
"Anyway, I'm very sorry about the long wait, I was in a big hole, and I finally came out. If anyone wants to know what specifically happened, it's okay to ask." Muchina explained.
Suddenly Kiseki appeared from a flurry of sakura petals.
"Until Mansex completes ALL the dares he failed, I will be staying here as the local deity/spirit. Mansex, you do not want an angry nekogami on your hands, lest she wreak chaos upon what you hold dear. Yes, I am capable of whipping up a twister that can utterly destroy your beloved Kingdom Hearts. You wouldn't want that. The choice is yours. Refuse to do my dares, you get the best seat for watching Kingdom Hearts' destruction. Do my dares, I won't. Deal?" Kiseki
grinned.
Xemnas stood there for a moment before going outside and setting down a bed of nails and going upstairs.
"...So, Ienzo, I haven't gotten a reply to my request. Will you be my master?" Kiseki purred.
Ienzo turned pink and nodded, looking away.
"Serious NekoPara Flashbacks." Andre Me Gusta-ed.
"Ienzo, could you please scratch me behind the ears?" Kiseki smiled.
Ienzo complied and Kiseki purred.
"Yep. Definitely NekoPara." Andre confirmed.
"DU DU DU DU DA DUUUUUUU-"
"Damian don't go all illuminati on our Arses please." Andre sighed.
"B-But- IT'S THE EYE IN THE TRIANGLE, CONSPIRES, GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD, CAUSE ITS ILLUMINATI, AND IT'S GONNA BE CONFIIIIIIIRMED!" Damian sang to the Tune of Roar.
"...Really?" Kourtney sighed with unamusement.
"I've had Pixy Stix today."
"...Everyone get in the bunker, this is gonna get ugly!" Andre freaked out.
"Selphie, I found you a playmate. Oh Mangle!" Said Animatronic dropped from the celling.
"Play nice you two!" Kiseki ordered.
Mangle gave Selphie a menacing look.
"...OHMYGODITSSOCUTEISHALLHUGHIMANDSQUEEZEHIMANDCALLHIMGEORGE!" Selphie nearly broke the animatronic in a death grip of a hug.
"Muchina, do you play any instruments? I play cello." Kiseki pulled out said instrument and began to play play Passion and The Thirteenth Struggle.
"I do, I play the piano." Muchina sat down at the piano in the room, and began to play 'Hikaru Nara'.
"Yeah, she's a nut for piano music, she mostly learns songs by a pianist named Lucas King." Andre yawned, sounding bored.
"Xemnas, you will look into the hole in Shedinja's back."
Xemnas then was heard screaming and fell to the ground, missing the bed of spikes.
"...Wow, we really need to put a railing up there." Damian commented.
"...Now, for my bottomless bag of Awesome." Kiseki reached into her bag, her entire arm disappearing into it.
Kiseki pulled out Sasha, who sat there eating her potato.
"Nope."
Mikasa and Eren were also tossed out of the bag.
"What's going on here?" Eren asked, as hostile as usual.
"Get off your man period!" Someone yelled in the background.
"Negatory."
Levi and Petra were ejected from the bag.
"Ugh, it's filthy in there." Levi complained.
"Shut up, Levi. In the spiritual hierarchy, I'm higher up than a lowly human, so watch your tongue." Kiseki growled.
A chainsaw flew out as well, buzzing off a few spikes of Axel's hair.
"Hey- I DONT WANT A HAIRCUT!" Axel flailed.
A few grenades flew out as well, nearly 'sploding Vanitas.
"Ah, there it is, my trusty Legendary Pwnhammer! Now, if someone doesn't do a dare, they get pwned. Got it memorized? Mansex, you're overdue for a tea party with Giratina, a touch session with box jellyfish and blue-ringed octopi, a heart operation performed by Xemnas fangirls, and a shock therapy session with Larxene. You know what happens. Pwnage and the obliteration of Kingdom Hearts." Kiseki grinned.
Xemnas tried to hit the spikes this time, and succeeded.
"Uhh... Is he okay?" Damian asked.
"Step aside I will give a diagnosis. This man is dead." Andre prodded the corpse with a stethoscope.
"He caught a severe case of death." Damian derped.
"No, he's only mostly dead! There's a big difference between mostly dead, and all dead-"
"GOOD GOD STOP YOUR RANTING AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES!" Vanitas ranted.
"Axel, take swimming lessons." Kiseki grinned.
"Uh..." Axel looked worried.
"Do eeeeeeeet..." Damian loomed.
"...Fine..." Axel sighed.
Twenty Three Seconds Later... (Admit it you read that in a Spongebob Narrator voice)
Axel was struggling to swim in a pool that had somehow appeared (plot convenience!) with arm floaties on.
"Call me heartless, but am I the only one who DIDN'T cry at Porkbowl's death?" Kiseki asked.
"...Yes." Damian and Andre Answered.
"I didn't! BACON FOR THE WIN!" Raven raved.
"SHUTUP, YOU ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT!" Andre pulled a lever and Raven fell into the Sarlac Pit.
"...Welp, bye now." Keseki poofed.
Silver appeared out of nowhere.
Silver blinked.
"How did I get here? And have any of you seen Hunchback of Notre Dame? Cause there was that one scene with Esmerelda disappearing in a puff of smoke, and it was really cool and-" She sighed.
"I have, It's my favorite classic Disney Movie!" Muchina smiled brightly.
"Anyways! Roxas and Xion, One congrats, two, Aren't you a little young to marry? I mean Aqua and Terra probably can, but you guys are about 15 to 14 years old...You know what, screw it it's fanfiction, anything could happen." Silver flipped a table.
"Kairi and Sora, KISS!" A dramatic spotlight shone on them.
The two turned bright red, and then Sora slowly walked over, tipping Kairi's chin up and kissing her softly.
Kairi's eyes widened, and she slowly kissed back, cheeks dusted with pink.
And meanwhile Damian was in the background smashing the ship button.
"Xemnas, Kuponator really needs you guys to pay his bro back...Things are getting bad, I really hope you can make a mil money quickly..." Silver sighed.
"Hey, look, Raven dropped her Munny from killing Chthulu! Here Xemnas, she's not gonna use it now!" Andre gave Xemnas the Munny who gave the (real) Munny to Silver.
"Muchina, It's ok that you can't speak Japanese... I'm irish, Welsh, Italian and French (as well as a bunch of other things from English speaking countries) and I can't speak any of those languages!" Silver smiled.
"Well, I just can't speak it very well, I'm not fluent in it, I only know a handful, and it's all Romanji. My father tried teaching me when I was young, because it was the best time to start, but I struggled with reading Kanji, so he had me learn mostly Romanji, so it was easier, and eventually gave up when we moved to America when I was five. I can sort of remember what it was like... But vaguely... I Definitely want to go back someday." Muchina drowned on in a wistful tone.
"Ventus, What is your opinion on Terra and Aqua finally getting together?" Silver asked.
"FINALLY!"
...
*crickets*
"...Okay then. Anti Sora, You haven't been getting used much...So... HUG!" Silver hugged Anti-Sora, who looked very happy about the attention.
"There was no romantic attempt in that hug... I am not interested in Heartless." Silver let go, And Anti-Sora just shrugged.
"Marley and Larxy, KISS! I FRICKEN SHIP THIS SO HARD SO KISS!" She did puppy eyes.
"Pwease?"
The two looked at each other, Marluxa with a smirk and Larxene with disgust.
Andre pushed their heads together, Larxene's eyes widening and Marluxa quickly pulling her into the closet with him.
"...Huh. Didn't see that one coming." Andre scratched his head.
"And now I must leave... Update soon!" Silver sprouted wings somehow and flew away while screaming because this is new weird thing that will most likely never happen again.
"...Huh. Anyway-" Muchina began, only to be interrupted by an annoying buzzing noise.
Muchina checked on her computer and a paper lip with eyes popped up.
"I see you've got mail."
Muchina threw the computer across the room.
"Here." Some random mailman popped out of nowhere.
"Okay... 'Congratulation on the wedding Roxas and Xion, i hope you two are happy together. As celebration, you can have a Sea Salt Ice Cream wedding
cake, and everyone can beat up Mansex and Saix as celebration." Muchina read.
The cake appeared, and then Kourtney pulled out a chainsaw, chasing Saix while laughing manically.
"Looks like we got a new crazy lady." Andre sighed.
"Do some duels and get some Phoenix down or something for revival." Muchina read.
The 4th wall broke open and a really fat Phoenix rolled out, squashing Tidus.
"...Eh, he was expendable." Kourtney shrugged.
"And also, How do you get the writing and characters portrayed so well?" Andre read over Muchina's shoulder.
"Well, I guess I've always had a knack for Writing... And I write the characters how I see them, not exactly how they are in the games." Muchina explained.
"This chapter was written like a worse version of Midnight by Stephan Mayo." Saix commented from the ceiling beams.
"I know, We're doing a really difficult project in school, I have almost no time on my hands." Muchina sighed.
"Now remember kids, donate to the Kirito is always right foundation,"
"And b!tches love cannons,"
"And this has been-"
"KINGDOM!"
"HEARTS!"
"TRUTH!"
"OR!"
"DARE!"