Hi....all I seem to do on this is apologise. lol It's been a while I know, but this has been one hectic year and well I needed a little release which is what this kind of is. My summer is quickly approaching so once that appears I'm going to finish this story and A Teenage Crush because they are both long over due. lol sorry again.

I'd like to dedicate this to my friend Mary (practice for the future! ;) lol)

Let me know what you think. Thanks.x

I remember a couple of years back in Brooklyn, when mum had only first met Andy and I still went to the local school there, that I had this thing, an added bonus if you want, to the whole ghost seeing thing. I mean, often during school ghosts would just pop up in some of my classes and demand to talk to me. Obviously I couldn't talk back because people would think I was insane...well, a lot of people already did, but that's beside the point. Anyway it wasn't my fault I could throw a punch better than most jocks. So yeah, I had to mutter as inconspicuously (hah!) as I could to tell them that I couldn't talk right then and that I'd find them later. Some of course left it at that whilst others blew up a storm before leaving, but all the same I kept to my word and went to find them later as I'd said.

And somehow, if they weren't where they'd originally told me I could always "sense" where they might have gone. I don't know how, maybe it was just by the way they acted or how they were dressed I could just tell. Some ghosts if they were the depressed type you could easily find at the local graveyard or sometimes the park sitting on a bench, others if younger would also be at the park or outside some of the local schools. I never really thought about it though, I just hopped in my car and drove and whether it was half an hour or an hour later I found them. And okay, sometimes maybe they found me but a lot of the time it worked out the other way.

Whatever the reason it was the same now. I mean, I just hopped into my car, left the school grounds without a word to Cee or Adam and just drove.

When I'd left school the digital clock on the dash in front of me read 13:06. Now though it read 14:34 and I was driving down a familiar road. At first I barely noticed where I was going, all I knew was that I had to find Jesse. First to yell in his oh-so-handsome about how he had no right to just leave me and not explain everything or even say goodbye because that's just not fair. I mean, I could have been jumping so many conclusions, like he could have been hurt? I don't even know where the guy lives so how was I supposed to check? Like seriously, does he have no sense at all?

I may have been anti-boyfriend lately or whatever you want to call it but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings or the ability to care for a guy, whether he be my brother or a male friend or a Priest. I mean, I consider Jesse a friend. He knows that, so obviously I'm going to worry.

Okay that's a lie. I don't consider Jesse a friend. I consider Jesse more than a friend. I want Jesse to be more than a friend. But then again I'm not sure what I want anymore. I did once though. A few months ago my life was on track. I was doing okay in school, I had a great set of friends, my family though just as wacky as it is now, was good...more than good even, they got on my nerves but that's what family is for, right? So yeah, I had everything pretty good back then. I still have all those things, but what I don't have is my old ability to know what I want anymore. And that's because of Jesse.

Sure I didn't have a boyfriend or any kind of romantic persons in my life but that's the way I wanted it. Paul and I weren't long broke up and even then when our relationship was broken because of his slimy cheating I knew amidst my hurt and what not that I didn't want Paul. I knew I couldn't forgive him. I knew I felt relief that it was over.

Don't get me wrong Paul was nice enough, all romantic meals and expensive gifts but he didn't have...he didn't have....he doesn't have what Jesse has. He doesn't have that cheeky grin that both annoys me and makes me blush at the same time. He doesn't get protective when guys start messing with me or just talk to me in a more than friendly way. He never curses in Spanish when I attempt to do something dangerous without his help. He never brushed his lips across by cheek and made me shiver all the way down to my toes or made by breath catch in my throat every time he refused to call me Suze and insisted Susannah sounded better. Or just simply make my heart race by walking into the same room as me.

Paul never made me love him.

Oh my God. I love Jesse.

I gasped loudly swerving slightly on the road and narrowly missing a nearby letterbox in the process. I steadied myself and the car with a nervous giggle.

See what I mean, the guy has completely made me gah gah. I'm not even making sense anymore. I mean, Suze Simon in love? Oh please. That doesn't make sense. Me in love? Me, Susannah Simon in love with Jesse De Silva? That just doesn't sound right...that just...that just...that does sound right. It fits. Who am I trying to Kidd? Of course it makes sense. CeeCee and Adam knew it, they told me and I wouldn't listen. I refused to listen. I didn't want to know the truth. I didn't want to open up like that, making myself vulnerable to him.

But I can't hide that anymore. I mean, was I not more or less revealing my love by going to look for him?

It took all the strength I had not to slam on the breaks and turn home then and there. But I had come this far I could go further. Right? Right.

So I decided to concentrate on the road and where I was going. Because concentrating on "love" was going to end up making me run. Run home and to my bed where boys like Jesse De Silva and love wouldn't be.

And that seemed to work. I was distracted. But I think it had more to do with the fact that I finally recognised exactly where I was.

Those finely cut hedges on either side of a rot Iron Gate were hard to forget. I sneaked a peek in through the gates as I drove by, at that long tarmac drive which lead to that large yellow house, behind which lay a forest I was quite familiar with.

"Typical," I muttered to myself, "The last place I was with Jesse is the first place I turn up trying to find him. Typical."

I drove the car down on pass the house and parked well enough away before pulling myself out with a heavy sigh.

The last time I was here I got the impression that something bad was happening and it was potentially dangerous. I still had that feeling. Yet that didn't stop me. Hey that never stopped me before, so well I suppose it wasn't going to happen now either. Anyway, if Jesse wasn't here I'd just ask where he lives. I mean, Rick's his friend. And as far as I knew he was the one who owned the house. Not Jesse.

I pulled open the back seat door and pulled out my jacket. It was colder now than it had been back at school. I shoved my arms through the sleeves and looked around me. Empty. Exactly as it had been my last visit here. Eerily empty.

I walked up to the iron front gates and unlike last time I found that they were shut tight. I didn't exactly want to ring the bell, because, well, they mightn't let me in and for some reason my "senses" were telling me not to.

Okay the truth? I knew that at any stage now I may just freak out and go running like I'd wanted to before and so I also wanted an easy and unseen exit which was guaranteed if no one knew I was there...yet.

So I climbed the gate, only realising half way over that there might be cameras or something watching me. I mean it was a pretty big house and Rick's family was no doubt rolling in the dough, so security could possibly be big. But that first day I was here the gate was open. Maybe it wasn't extremely security tight. I didn't think about it for too much longer though and let myself drop to my feet with a soft thud.

I was quite good at the whole breaking and entering thing.

I walked up to the front door, admiring all the beautiful flowers and shrubs on the way. I could see the sparkle of the pool as I walked by and déjà vu hit me. I suddenly got a pang of how much I actually missed Jesse, with his stupid sexy accent that came more pronounced when he was giving off to me...a bit like the last time when I was here.

I swallowed deeply and kept walking. Now was not the right time to get emotional.

Once on the front steps, I stopped to steady myself. I wasn't in danger. I just had to be polite and ask if they knew where Jesse was and it would be fine.

But a thought hit me as I reached for the button. How would I explain that I knew where Rick lived? Last time he hadn't even known I was here. An image of Jesse's anxious brown eyes swam into my mind. This was not good. Jesse had purposely made sure Rick hadn't know I was there. I remembered vividly his warm body pressing me protectively against the wall.

I was right. This had been dangerous before and it felt dangerous now. I was wrong for ignoring that feeling though. I was completely and utterly stupid for ignoring the obvious signs.

I had been in danger when I was here three weeks ago, Jesse had told me to go hide for a reason. He then disappeared for a reason. Whatever was going on here was not good. Really not good.

Oh crap.

Sweat broke out on my forehead and my breathing sped up. I tried to breath normally and collect my thoughts, because running and screaming was not a good idea. I turned slowly, my back poker straight. The garden, the plants, the flowers, the long line of large bushes bordering its whole perimeter didn't look as beautiful as it once had a few moments before. I felt blocked and really claustrophobic, like the whole garden was closing in on me preventing the getaway I'd previously planned.

Calm, Suze, calm, I thought to myself, remember all the self defence moves you taught yourself, for exact situations like this when trouble were to arise. And if the old one- two doesn't work go for a kick in the groin.

I felt myself relax slightly. Slightly.

No one knew I was here. I was fine. All I had to do was walk slowly but surely back down the drive, climb over that gate and sprint for the car. I was fine.

My palms were damn and my mouth dry, but I was fine. Of course, everything would be fine.

Oh God.

I concentrated on getting one foot to go in front of the other without panicking. How could I have been so clueless? I had been terrified the last time I was here, why on earth would I come back?

If being in love made you this stupid I didn't want it. What am I talking about? I'm not in love. He got me into this and left me without a proper warning. He was so dead.

A sudden click of the door behind me made me cringe and I had to fight back a squeak. I kept walking and quickened my pace, as if to ignore it but when a hand landed on my shoulder seconds later it was all I could do not to scream.