Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Morgan is about to face what he did. He won't see Reid till the next chapter but there are some interesting moments in this chapter. To answer some questions, Reid won't be paralyzed as the bullets didn't hit his spine but I do have some trouble in store for him, I'm not giving anything away. He won't need the colostomy bag for more than a few months. Some other questions you need to wait for answers. Sorry for late update too. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.

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All mistakes are my own

Morgan woke up, his body aching but his mind felt better, like a weight had disappeared from it. He opened his eyes and found himself looking at a white ceiling. He winced at pain in his shoulder, it wasn't too bad but it ached all the same. He turned his head to see Hotch walking to the bed. "Hotch, why am I in hospital?"

"I need you think for a moment," Hotch said. "I'm so sorry but you know why you're in hospital. Take a minute to think."

Morgan thought for a moment, he shut his eyes as flashes came forward.

Reid looking at him with fearful eyes as he pinned him against the wall. "You're hurting me."

'All I know is that you're a freak little genius and the only reason you are here is because of your brain and we all know that will break soon enough.'

Pulling the trigger three times and watching Reid slam into the floor, watching the blood blossom over his back.

Shakes began to rock Morgan's body. "Oh, god. I shot him, I shot Reid. Hotch, I tried to kill him! I could see everything happening but I couldn't control myself. I'm so sorry. Jesus, I'm so sorry."

Hotch grabbed his good arm. "We know you were brain washed and forced to do this, Reid is alive and recovering in hospital. I need to tell you some things but give me a minute. I need to deal with one last thing."

Morgan looked to the corner and saw the blonde woman who had been part of his kidnapping. "You bitch!"

Hotch pushed him back down when he tried to get to Clara but he had made a deal. Every part of him wanted to let Morgan loose but catching Renner and having Clara there to testify when needed was the most important thing. "Morgan, you can't hurt her. I know what she did and hate her just as much as you but she told us who hired her and we need her."

He turned to Clara and grabbed her arm. He pulled her to the door and called for the private protection team that were waiting. He handed her over and watched them cuff her. "You will be testifying against Renner when we arrest him and I assure you that after that, you'll be spending a lot of time in prison. You've almost destroyed my team and it makes me sick that I have to offer you protection."

He turned to the team. "Get her out of my sight."

Clara didn't say anything as they led her away. He turned back into Morgan's room and closed the door, he felt saddened as he watched Morgan cry silently. Something he had rarely seen during their time working together. "He's alive, Garcia is taking care of him and he's awake."

"I-I'm supposed to protect him," Morgan sniffed. "I shot him three times, I kicked him and hurt him. H-How can I live with myself knowing I did that?"

"You didn't do it, Morgan," Hotch tried to argue. "You had no control and Clara, the woman who did this to you, specializes in this kind of thing. She disturbed the chemical balance of your brain and basically brainwashed you. We went to your place and while everything looked normal, we found a piece of glass belonging to your old table. Derek, I know you would never hurt Reid without being forced in some way."

"Can I see him?" Morgan asked. "I have to apologise and I need him to forgive me."

"That's not a good idea," Hotch sighed, he had dreaded this moment for a long time. "He doesn't know who you are."

"What?! No, what do you mean?"

"He has some memory loss. The doctor isn't sure if the cause behind it is physical or psychological but she's leaning more towards the latter. He has blank spots in his memory. He even forgot coffee for a shot amount of time. The major part of his memory loss is that his mind has blocked out traumatic moments in his life and things associated with those events. Derek, he doesn't remember Maeve or Tobias Hankel either. The working theory is that his mind can't comprehend the shock of being shot by you so it has blocked off certain events."

"He doesn't remember me," Morgan muttered. "He doesn't remember Maeve or Tobias. We've been through so much though, does he remember you all?"

"He does," Hotch nodded. "His mind has compensated when it comes to cases and other things. We don't know the true extent of his memory loss but with things like JJ's wedding, he doesn't remember you being there."

"Does he know it was me that shot him?"

"We told him who you are and he's still processing everything. He's still deciding if he wants to see you. Garcia hasn't left his side but Blake sent her home for a while, Garcia's actually the reason he's still alive. You broke out of your restraints and hit JJ."

"Don't think that I don't remember?" Morgan said. "It's like a movie in my head with parts missing but I remember hitting JJ and I remember Garcia putting herself in front of Reid so I wouldn't kill him. I'm a monster, Hotch."

"No, you're not."

"YES, I AM!" Morgan yelled. "Get out before I hurt you too."

Hotch tried to step forward but Morgan threw a plastic jug at him. "Get out!"

Garcia stroked her hand through Reid's hair as he slept, she liked stroking his hair because it assured her that he was still there with them all. She had gone home to grab some clothes and take a shower, she had grabbed a few items for Reid to help him remember things. She had come straight back and taken over from Blake again. She couldn't sleep knowing her baby boy was still in the hospital. Hotch came into the room, surprised to see her.

"I thought Blake had sent you home," he said.

"She did but the last time I went home, he was barely clinging to life and when I arrived here, his heart gave out and we almost lost him. I will sleep here and as you can see, I changed into some more comfortable clothes and took a shower."

"Morgan's awake and he remembers everything," Hotch sighed.

Garcia stopped stroking Reid's hair and rose to her feet. "Did you tell him everything?"

"I did and he's not dealing with it well, I was going to call you but as you're here, I need you to go and see him. He threw a jug at me and told me to get out. You're the only one he'll listen to."

She looked down at Reid before going into her bag and pulling out a few pieces of paper. She handed them to Hotch. "Stay with him till I get back. If he wakes up, read these to him and see if he finishes them off. If he does then he remembers Star Trek."

"What are they?"

As she walked to the door, she turned and smiled. "Dr McCoy quotes."

Morgan sat up against his bed and closed his eyes, every time he closed his eyes he saw Reid on the floor, his eyes wide with pain and a trail of blood down his chin. He opened his eyes as his door opened. Garcia walked in and came straight to the bed, he held up his hand when she tried to sit down. "Garcia, I can't. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me," she said gently. "Please, we both need this."

He looked into her eyes and put down his hand, she brought her arms around him and held him close. He cried on her shoulder, she had never seen him this vulnerable before. "I'm so sorry, Garcia. I never wanted to hurt him. I almost killed you too."

He came away and cradled her face. "You stopped me."

She nodded, feeling her own eyes watering. "You're both my boys and I almost lost both of you, I couldn't stand there and do nothing. You listened and you threw away the gun, I'm so proud of you for fighting what that woman did to you."

She hugged him close again and felt him shaking in her arms. "He doesn't remember me, Garcia."

"No, he doesn't but he will. He'll remember his big brother soon."

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