Chapter Ten: Breathe Again

Summary: Allen nearly drowns. Lavi helps him breathe again.

Genre: Romance

Rating: PG-13/R

Content: Lavi swearing in fear that Allen may be dead. Partial nudity and heavily implied sex.

Author's Note: Part of the 100 Themes challenge on DeviantArt. 100 chapters about Lavi and Allen as a couple. Don't like it, don't read it.

Legal Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man or its characters. They all are property of Katsura Hoshino and I make no profit off these stories.

Thank you to: Nella-has-a-clever-penname, Tizenanatomy, AkiChan323, Nusku, ClaymoreDarkAlicia, Kiminaru, PheonixShadow, BlueFox of the Moon, Aion Laven Walker, KinKitsune01, Dgm-yoai-lover, Ghost of the Crescent Moon, sweetpotato1992, OyaSUMi-heart, shadows.salvation, ShinigamixGirl, MonElisa, and everyone else for their favorites and alerts.

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"We got gypped."

"Lavi…" The mutter from behind Allen made the silver-haired boy shake his head with a sigh of his companion's name.

"No, we did, Allen. Gypped, cheated, scammed, whatever other word you want to use," Lavi answered bitterly, kicking a huge lump of snow. "While Yuu-chan and Lenalee are off in the tropics, we're stuck here in bum-fuck nowhere…"

"It's not that bad…" Allen said, trying to get Lavi to lighten up. But the desolate landscape wasn't very cheerful at all and the cold wind was doing a very good job of reminding them that they were in the middle of nowhere.

"Not that bad?" Lavi repeated, his turn to shake his head. "Allen, we're up to our knees in snow and it's cold out and we could be getting suntans right now, but we're not and that sucks more than anything."

"You'd just burn and then complain about it," Allen said, looking over at Lavi teasingly: "Like that one time you—"

"Hey! You were supposed to wake me up!" Lavi whined, but he went a shade similar to that of his hair probably when he recalled the incident that Allen was referring to. They had been on a mission in Gaul and while waiting for their train home, they'd had a day to kill. Lavi had lain out on their patio shirtless and fallen asleep. And Allen had been too busy staring at the other boy's body—the smooth dip to his back, broad shoulders, narrow waist, made all more alluring by the glisten from beads of sweat on tantalizing flesh—that he'd lost track of time. Though Allen would never admit to the real reason why he hadn't woken Lavi, he still liked to bring up the incident to tease the redhead, because the consequences of those actions had been hilarious. "That was the worst burn of my life. I lost a few years to that one, no doubt."

Allen laughed and Lavi even chuckled at the memory. At least things had gotten a bit more relaxed and the apprentice Bookman wasn't in such a bad mood any longer. He even fell back into his usual prankster habits and threw a few snowballs at Allen, who threw more than a few back. At least Allen wasn't thinking about that sunny day in that hotel room looking over the beach, watching the rise and fall of Lavi's strong back as he breathed evenly in sleep. And at least Allen wasn't recalling the dreams he had been having of late, of him and Lavi doing some very un-friend like things that included the two of them back in that hotel room in Gaul, only then Allen was gripping at Lavi's strong back as the older boy moved inside him Allen, Allen, Al-len!

A snowball landed right in Allen's face, ripping the silver-haired boy from the thoughts he tried so hard not to think about. Lavi laughed so hard he nearly fell over.

"Lavi! Not in the face!" Allen whined, trying to wipe the snow from his hair and eyes, wondering why his blush didn't just melt it off.

"I-I-It was so f-f-funny!" Lavi answered through shuddering breaths of laughter, gripping his sides.

"It's not funny!" Allen said, although he was in good humor about it. It was so good to see Lavi laugh like that, because never before had Allen seen him act like he was having so much fun before. It sometimes felt that Lavi wasn't doing things for the fun of them, but as if he was just doing them because that was what was expected of him. Now it was true, undiluted laughter; something that Allen had brought forth, and he felt some kind of secret pride that he could make Lavi feel that way. Allen was just about to make another snowball to see if he could land it on Lavi's head when suddenly, his laughter stopped like a train screeching to a halt. A dial had appeared over his left eye and he could suddenly sense demonic presences nearby.

"Akuma!" Allen said breathlessly, his mood turning from innocent and happy to a determined one in a fraction of a second. They had been their age, if only for a little while. But now it was back to business it seemed, and Lavi invoked his hammer as Allen did the same with his arm. Two akuma emerged from the snow, one from the trees, and advanced upon them. They were Level Two, so the fight was definitely going to work up a sweat.

Allen attacked the biggest of them while Lavi took care of the one closest to him. The silver-haired boy backhanded the third akuma that had appeared behind him in an attempt to get the jump on him. He sent it flying into a nearby tree before going back to the demon he was fighting, keeping Lavi in his peripheral the entire time to make sure he was all right. The redhead was doing a good job of keeping the akuma at bay, but he could barely get an attack in. It was so fast, not to mention the snow was slowing Lavi down considerably. A scythe-like arm fell on the handle of his hammer, not far from his face, and Allen could see he grit his teeth, trying to keep the limb away from him.

"Lavi!" Allen called, sending the big akuma crashing in the opposite direction. "I'm coming, just hang—!" His words were cut off when the third appeared from the trees and knocked him off course. Allen fell into the snow near to where Lavi was fighting and got the wind knocked out of him.

"Alle—!" Lavi's shout was silenced toward the end and Allen heard a crunching sound, causing him to sit up quickly, his vision swimming slightly. Lavi must have gotten distracted for a moment trying to see if Allen was all right, giving the demon the chance to throw him several feet from where he had been standing. He was lying at an awkward angle against a natural bolder where he appeared unconscious.

One of the akuma appeared suddenly in his sight and Allen quickly destroyed it with a well aimed Cross Grave. He did this just in time to see that the akuma Lavi had been fighting was getting closer to the prone Exorcist. Allen's heart caught in his throat and he began running towards him.

"Lavi!" Allen shouted, almost there when the giant akuma he had been fighting earlier appeared and sent him flying through the air. But instead of cold snow, Allen fell through something hard and into cold water, his lungs freezing almost immediately at the subzero temperatures. In the blackness, there was only one point of light—the hole he had fallen through—but Allen couldn't make his limbs move, couldn't swim, couldn't breathe…

Lavi…I…

Falling, falling…down, down, down…

…love…

Further, further into blackness…

...you…

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"A-Allen!" Lavi cried, as he watched Allen crash into the lake, breaking through the thin layer of ice that covered the previously unseen body of water. Two akuma were before him now and he parried a blow from the one he had previously been fighting, trying to keep the other demon in his sight while watching the lake for signs of Allen resurfacing. But after a few moments, Lavi realized that Allen hadn't come up. How long had he been under? Lavi's heart clenched and his guard dropped for a fraction of a second, the akuma taking this opportunity to punch him in the stomach, sending him crashing into a nearby tree with a painful sound.

The situation was moving from bad to worse, Lavi cornered with blood blurring his already limited vision and with Allen still under water and with two akuma advancing on him maliciously, chatting to each other about how they could go about killing him. Lavi's hands trembled on his hammer. Allen had been under too long. Had he been knocked out? Lavi was sure his heart was going to burst from his chest it was beating so fast, thinking of all the possibilities why Allen had not come back up for air yet. His knees were weak, head turning light at the thought that maybe the kind Exorcist had…

That couldn't happen. Allen couldn't die. Lavi wouldn't let that happen to Allen, the boy who he had begun to care more and more for as the days went by. He couldn't let such a bright ray of light be snuffed. He wouldn't let go of Allen without a fight, because that boy was worth fighting for. Worth dying for.

"Get outta my way!" Lavi shouted, anger and fear powering his Innocence enough to take down one akuma with the sheer force of one swing. The other that managed to escape, came rushing toward him and Lavi summoned all the power he had within himself to form a fire seal strong enough to take down the demon. Opponents gone, Lavi rushed through the clearing smoke toward the lake. Fear gripped him like an icy hand around the rapidly beating organ in his chest.

The water was still, ice broken and floating around on the surface in big chunks. Not even thinking properly, not feeling the effects of his injuries or exhaustion, Lavi strapped his hammer to his thigh, kicked off his boots, and jumped in. Almost immediately, his mind blanked from the mere temperature of the water. The coldness crept into his flesh like needles and his body screamed to return to the surface, shouted for warmth, anything but to be immersed in such torment. But Lavi couldn't go back now, forcing his numb arms and legs to swim down, deeper and deeper into the darkness.

Luckily the lake wasn't that deep and Lavi was able to find Allen rather quickly. Even in the obscure water, Lavi could see him, lying on the bottom, pale and ghost like. Lavi, his mind on the verge of shutting down from the freezing temperatures around him, grasped Allen's wrist and pulled the other boy to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He tried to swim toward the small bead of light where he had jumped in, but Allen's added weight to the already failing functions of Lavi's limbs made the trip an impossible feat. His lungs were beginning to burn with the need for oxygen and Lavi's vision was beginning to tunnel dangerously, his grip loosening slightly as he felt maybe it wouldn't be so bad to rest for a minute…

The survivalist part of his mind woke him to the reality of the situation, and Lavi knew he had to get out of the water. Allen had been in longer than he had and needed medical attention. But, the way was so far...Lavi grasped his hammer and prayed to whatever God would listen that this worked. He willed the last bit of his strength into invoking his Innocence one more time.

Extend.

Immediately, he and Allen went shooting at an alarmingly painful rate out of the water. They broke through the icy depths and rushed into the cold December air around them. It hurt to breathe in, but it was still a relief to Lavi's oxygen deprived lungs. He somehow managed to get to the white shore all while keeping a strong grip on Allen's waist. Shivering as they landed in the thick snow, Lavi knelt beside Allen, laying him on his back.

"Allen!" Allen matched the white beneath him, only he was tinged with blue and purple. Lavi's fingers were too cold on Allen's wrist to tell if there was a pulse. No breath escaped him. "Fuck, Allen!" Lavi hastily tilted Allen's head back with shaking hands. Making sure that Allen's airway was clear, Lavi began resuscitate him. One, two, three, pulses against Allen's chest and then Lavi leaned over and pressed his lips to Allen's blue ones, breathing life into the still boy.

He did this once, twice, three times. Then four and five, but still no reaction from the frozen Exorcist under his numb, shaking hands. Lavi wouldn't stop, though, going about it with a renewed vigor.

"Allen!" Lavi shouted again, his voice sounding strained as it echoed in the empty landscape around them. It felt so unreal, that Allen was lying under his hands, not moving, when only a few moments ago they had been laughing together, Allen's face so full of life. "Allen! Wake up, dammit!" His breath did nothing for Allen, his hands pumping repeatedly at the younger boy's chest did not rouse him, and Lavi's cheeks were so numb he could barely feel the hot tears that slid down the left side of his face. "Breathe!" he cried, before leaning over again to lend Allen his breath. Would he ever be able to kiss those lips when they weren't frozen?

He put more effort into his weak arms in hopes that maybe one day he and Allen could laugh like they had earlier and Lavi could put his arms around Allen's waist, for once not saving him, but holding him. And maybe one day Lavi could actually kiss Allen with love and not with life. The feelings he shouldn't have had were fueling his motions and the sight of Allen as pale as winter made his exhausted body move faster.

In the middle of a silent prayer, Allen choked and gasped, rolling to the side to cough up whatever water he had inhaled. Lavi felt the tension leave his body, relief crashing over him like a smooth wave and he put his hands on Allen's back, gently rubbing to help him get it all up out of his lungs.

Thank God.

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The first thing he felt was cold and then sick. As he half-coughed, half-retched, Allen could feel hands on his back, comforting him through the soaked fabric of his Exorcist uniform. He couldn't figure out why he was in this state and then he remembered the fight: being thrown into the water, sinking into the depths with Lavi's name on his lips.

"L-L-Lav-v-v-i…" Allen said, his teeth chattering. He shook unconsciously, every part of him painfully frozen. His lungs hurt to breathe and his extremities were beginning to numbly sting, but Allen was alive and he let out a shaky few breaths.

"I'm here. I-It's okay. You're o-okay…" Lavi was saying, his hands moving from Allen's back to around his waist, so that Allen was leaning back against him. Lavi was wet too, and Allen figured it was because it was the redhead who pulled him out of the water. Lavi had jumped in and saved him. Allen wanted to kiss him, his heart beating fast; whether it be because of the feelings he harbored for the redheaded Exorcist or because his body was trying to pump blood throughout his body, Allen didn't know. All he knew was that Lavi had saved him and brought him back from death and was tenderly holding him now, sighing against Allen's neck with a sweet tremble to his voice. "I'm s-s-so g-glad…" he whispered, and Allen almost missed it over the audible sound of their teeth.

"L-Lav-v-vi?" Allen asked, his brow furrowing when he felt suddenly felt wet lashes brushing against his chilled neck. "A-Are y-y-you c-c-crying-g?"

"N-No," Lavi answered thickly, obviously speaking falsely, as Allen could feel the hot tears on his throat. "M-M-Moyashi-i-i."

"S'A-Allen," Allen replied, turning around in Lavi's shivering hold, moving his arms around the older boy's shoulders. "And…t-thank you."

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"…which is why we should have gone to the Tropics," Lavi finished, folding his arms in front of his chest as if that was the end of that. They had warmed up a little with Lavi's Fire Seal and had then traveled by hammer through a strong blizzard to their destination: a small inn nestled in the snowy mountains of --. Upon arriving, the two of them had collapsed in a frozen heap by the door, leaving the innkeeper and a few other locals to bring them inside. They were given a hot bath and a few clothes and were allowed to stay in one of the bigger rooms with a fireplace to keep them warm throughout the cold night. It was the "honeymoon suite" so there was one big, ornate bed before the fire, leaving the two boys to have to share.

Allen was stalling by the fireplace, pretending to be seeking heat rather than getting into bed with Lavi. He wasn't sure what he would do, not trusting himself at this time. The younger Exorcist wanted to thank Lavi again and wanted to admit to him—finally admit—that he liked Lavi more than a friend. The experience he had just had woke him up to the reality that his life was going to be short. Could he at least know what love felt like? What it felt like to be loved and held in someone else's arms?

"C'mon, Allen," Lavi said, when Allen had been obviously standing for too long without saying anything. Allen blushed a little when he saw Lavi patting the empty side of the bed next to him. "You're gonna get sick." Allen bit his lip and nodded, slowly going over to where Lavi already was lying in bed. "Well, don't just stare at it." Lavi moved the blankets back in invitation and it took all of Allen's willpower to slide underneath them. He hadn't even been in bed for more than a few seconds when Lavi was suddenly very close to him, an arm snaking around his waist, pulling Allen against his warm chest.

"Lavi…?" Allen asked, his voice a little high. He could feel the entire length of Lavi's body behind him, molding against his figure. Now, Lavi was so warm and Allen felt like he might melt at the contact they were sharing.

"Are you okay?" When Lavi asked this, his breath ghosted across Allen's neck pleasantly and the younger boy had to resist wondering what it would feel like over other parts of his body, brushing against his heated flesh as Lavi pleasured him, hot lips moving down his chest, a wet tongue licking him in all the right places…Allen had to put a halt on his thoughts because he was going to have a very problematic physical reaction if he didn't.

"Y-Yeah…" Allen answered, somewhat breathless and with a small shiver. Lavi's arm tightened around Allen and he scooted closer.

"Cold still?" Lavi asked, this time against Allen's ear. He trembled again with want, an ache settling itself between his legs. Not trusting his voice, Allen nodded. "Me too," Lavi answered, shifting a little behind Allen; the younger boy could feel Lavi's chin resting on top of his head now. He could feel when Lavi breathed, the rise and fall of his chest against Allen's back, the tickle of Lavi's breath against his hair. "Which goes back to the Tropics. We should have been there. Sunburns would at least keep us warm."

"You know…" Allen said, before his mind could catch up with what his mouth was doing. "I let you burn that day." It was strange, because when Lavi was joking, there was this certain atmosphere around him and when he was serious, there was a different kind. The cheerful air in the room dissipated into something somber now, and Allen felt that shift as if it were something physical.

"Why?" Lavi asked, making Allen blush. He couldn't believe he even brought it up. But once again, his words were coming before processing through his brain and his hand was moving to rest on top of Lavi's.

"Because I lost track of time looking at you," Allen answered, so flushed that his ears were probably red. He couldn't believe he finally said it, having promised himself he wouldn't ever tell.

"At…me?" Lavi repeated, his voice sounding strange to Allen's ears. Was it that Lavi was disgusted with him and his perversion? What if Lavi didn't want to be his friend anymore when he found out Allen was having queer thoughts about him? "Why?"

"Why?" Allen asked, thinking that it was obvious. But Lavi hadn't pushed him away or called him some horrible name at the news, so that had to be a good thing, right? "Because I…like looking at you."

"Really?" Lavi asked, something that could have been hopeful disbelief in his voice. Then there was a deep rumble behind Allen, a vibration against his back: the sound of Lavi laughing quietly. Maybe he was making fun of Allen now that the younger boy had said it aloud. Allen wanted to hide if that was the case. He might have even chosen the bottom of that lake rather than get rejected and made fun of for his feelings. "What a crazy, random happenstance." Allen went slightly rigid under Lavi's arm, waiting for the cruel words that would most likely break his heart. "Because I like looking at you, too." The silver-haired boy felt his eyes grow wide at those words and he forgot how to breathe for a moment. "In fact, it's most of the time damn hard to not look at you." Heat bloomed in his face when Allen felt Lavi move to kiss the back of his ear. "But it's more than just that, you know?" Lavi's wrist turned under Allen's so that they were holding hands. "Every part of you, everything you do and say…I really like those things too."

"Lavi…" Allen was smiling, his heart light and warm, hand holding Lavi's. It felt so perfect and he ignored the fear in his heart that it just might be a dream.

"I don't know when it started," Lavi admitted, softly now, nuzzling against Allen's neck. "But today made me realize how precious you are to me." Allen heard Lavi take in an almost painful sounding breath at the memory. "And, yeah, I cried. 'Cause I didn't think I'd ever get to tell you…and then I cried again 'cause I was so happy you were alive." Allen turned around in Lavi's arms so he could look at the older boy and he smiled, tracing his fingers down Lavi's cheek and jaw, then over his lips.

"Thank you," Allen said, looking right at Lavi to express that he was just as serious in the words he would say. "For saving me." A shy kiss to Lavi's lips. "For crying for me." Another tender kiss. "For everything…" Lavi's lips met his the third time and they were kissing for real, so much better and hotter than any dream. It was a little shy at first, somewhat unsure, but then they got the hang of it quickly and soon it was more than just lips: tongues and hands and no denial that the both of them were reacting physically to the loving stimulation.

It wasn't long before the fire became too hot and Allen was gripping the headboard to keep himself from falling uncontrollably into a pleasurable abyss and Lavi was holding him as their hips moved in perfect rhythm. Upon sweet release, gentle sighs across damp flesh as hands tangled into hair and lips met again. Arms around one another, sliding into sleep as loving words were exchanged, like Lavi's breath had given life to Allen earlier.

I love you.

I love you, too.

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Sorry about that delay again, guys. Midterms hurt me everywhere, apparently (like my head).

Chapter 11

Memory: "Do you remember that day? …That was the day I fell in love with you." AU

Thanks for all your love guys. So much support really makes me work faster :)

Peace, love, and donuts, peeps.

Dhampir72