HELLO! I AM SOOOOO SORRY! I know that this is the first chapter in a month, more than that actually, and I apologize 251%! Everything going on with school and swimming has made me sooo busy, and this chapter also proved very difficult. I didn't know the direction I wanted to, but know I am pretty darn sure. So let's hope the next chapter comes out a little sooner! Don't hate me!

3 Sarah

The end of the day wasn't as pleasant as the beginning of it. I had thoughts running through my head all day, thinking about the conversation I had with Kate. Was I going to have to deal with this whenever I went out? Would I see her all the time, and would she always harass me? I didn't want this to happen all my life if Edward and I stayed married. I knew that Kate was fired from the hospital now, which eased my mind a bit, but he could still just as easily contact her as he could before. I still didn't trust him enough, and I wasn't sure I ever really would.

I didn't tell Edward anything about my discussion with Kate until our next therapy session, which was conveniently tomorrow right after I got off of work. I was contemplating at lot of things tonight, and I hoped that tomorrow I could get them all out without chickening out.

I let Edward think that everything was okay with me, and played off every frown as nothing. I could tell her was getting suspicious of something, but I didn't reveal what I was thinking.

The morning came faster than I would have liked it to. But I trekked onward, and dressed myself in a white, flowing skirt and a nice and simple navy blue shirt. Sophie was making noise, and practicing saying mama when I woke up, so I checked on her before going in to the guestroom by Edward and setting her on his face.

"She's all yours now buddy. You're off today right?" He picked up Sophie and transferred her to his stomach, and rubbed at his eyes.

"Yeah, but I have my 24-hour shift tomorrow, so you have to bring Sophie to Alice's before you go to work. She said she was just working on designs tomorrow, and would be more than happy to take her. Have a good day at work." I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I jumped back before that happened, and uttered some goodbyes before retreating to my car.

I know the moment of truth had to happen tonight, but I wished I could prolong it as long as possible. Work was work, and I could get back into the swing of things quickly. Sophie's pictured adorned my desk and I had people periodically walking in and out of my office to see her.

I had gotten my first book to edit today, and it was a children's book about some frogs, and I knew Sophie would love it. The rest of the day went fairly easy, until I realized that therapy was in an hour. I didn't know if I had the guts to say what I needed to say. If I was going to be realistic with myself, though, I needed to tell Edward how I really felt.

Edward and I sat in the waiting room of the therapist's office, not talking, me just staring at the walls. I could tell Edward wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was smarter than that, so he kept his mouth shut. He'd dig himself in a bigger hole if he spoke.

Once we got into the office, my hands were sweating. We both sat on the couch across from the therapist, Edward and I not holding hands or even remotely close to each other.

"So, welcome back to the office, Bella, Edward. So it appears that our last session was last week Thursday, and I just wanted to know how things are going. Are there any new milestones with your relationship? Any problems since last session?" asked Dr. Walters. I let Edward do the talking, and then I would finally say what I needed to.

"Well we went to a club over the weekend, and we danced a little. It felt good to act like we were when we were dating, and I feel like we connected that much more."

"And Bella, how do you feel about this? Did you feel like you and Edward are finally starting to trust each other?" Dr. Walters smiled at me encouragingly, and Edward just smiled, looking happy in the moment. I knew now was the time to speak, and I hoped Edward would understand.

"Well, going to the club was nice and all, but it made me think about some things. You see, I saw someone there that I didn't tell Edward about. It was Kate, and she and I started talking about some things." I took a moment to gather my thoughts. "She started asking if we were divorced, and she said she didn't know why we were still married. She told me that you two are still sleeping together too, practically everyday." My voice started to break, and tears started in my eyes. "She said that you two never stopped and that I was stupid for believing you and taking you back. Please, please tell me that none of it's true." Edward's face was drained of all color, and I just knew that he didn't invite Kate that night; she came by her own free will to harass me.

"Bella, I'm not sleeping with Kate. She got fired from the hospital, and I didn't even talk to her after I broke it off. I am so sorry for everything I've put you through Bella, and I just wish I could take this whole thing back."

"Did you sleep with her that much when you were together?" I didn't want to know but I had to, to gain some peace of mind.

"It wasn't every night Bella, not even. I slept with her maybe once in two weeks. Ever night that I was gone I was at Emmett's bar, but usually there was someone to talk to." I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that it wasn't as frequent as I thought. It still didn't stop me from saying what I had to.

"As relieved as I am to hear that Edward, I don't think I can do this. I can't do this anymore. Thank you for everything Dr. Walters, your time has helped so much, but I don't know about us anymore. I thought that we could get through it, but there's no way to just switch off all these thoughts that run through my head everyday. I worry everyday that all of a sudden you're going to go back to the person you were a few months ago. I don't want to have to worry about Kate popping up in our lives every time that we start to become happy. I don't want to not be able to trust you, and trust isn't just something I can will myself to have. I've been unrealistic about this whole thing, Edward. I love you, but I can't be married to you, not now. I want a divorce." I felt like I could see Edward's heart breaking right before me, tears forming in his eyes. I wanted to wipe them away, sorry for causing this pain, but that wasn't for me to do anymore. I couldn't be sorry for what he did to us.

"Edward, how do you feel about this?" I could tell this was the last thing Dr. Walters expected, and she was going to do everything in her power to keep this divorce from happening.

"Just give me a minute, alright?" He was breathing heavily; trying to not let him emotions overcome him, something he did often. Edward rarely showed his emotions, something he was very good at as a doctor; he was a man that didn't want to appear as weak, especially not in front of others. "I'm shocked, but I'm not. I…I knew that there was a possibility of you not wanting this, but I was stupid enough to think that you could just forgive me for doing something so terrible to you. I don't want a divorce. I don't want this whole situation to have happened, but it did because I was stupid as hell. I love you and I love Sophie, and I don't want us to break it off for my mistakes. I want us to work at this, damn it."

"I love you Bella, but I don't understand how you can just give up on us after everything with us is starting to look up." Now he was out of line, and I needed to cut him off. Edward tended to ramble, and stick his foot in his mouth over and over again.

"I'm the one giving up? What about you Edward? You're the one who slept with someone else, not me! I'm being realistic about this, and I'm giving you the out. The one you clearly wanted so desperately four months ago. You tried to tell me why you cheated on me, and I know you were only in it for the sex, but what if I don't feel like putting out one night? Are you going to the bar and finding the first girl that will? I can't be in this marriage Edward, I just can't. Thank you Dr. Walters, but I don't think we'll need your assistance any longer."

Tears streamed down Edward's cheeks, and he left without a word, beyond sad, angry, confused, etc. I knew that somehow I would never know, Edward not being forthcoming with very much. I thought that a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders, but it felt heavier if anything.

I was so lost. I knew that if I wanted to be happy, Edward and I couldn't stay together. I couldn't constantly worry about what he was doing and if I could trust him or not. Or you could just not worry about it. You trusted Edward before, you can do it again. I wanted to tell myself that was true, but I wasn't completely convinced. You can't just expect your relationship to be fixed in a month. Edward's trying and you should give him the chance. Kate showed up at the club on her own. Edward has done everything you've asked. I wish I could just shut my brain off sometimes.

Everything I was feeling was so conflicted, I didn't know what was going on anymore.

I thanked Dr. Walters and left quickly, breaking down completely when I was alone in my car. I couldn't believe what I just said. A divorce. I didn't even think it through before I blurted it out.

Well actually, I'd thought about it a lot, just not about how gut-wrenching it would feel. Ever since I met Edward, I knew that I wanted to be married to him. I would still want to be married to him under different circumstances. Like ones where he hadn't cheated on me in the first place.

I picked Sophie up from Alice's without saying much. I told her I was tired and didn't feel like talking, and she quickly wrote if off and shooed me home.

The thing was that I didn't want to go home. Home was where Edward most likely wasn't, and I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about that.

I need to go home though, because Sophie was snoozing away in her car seat in the back, mouth agape and eyes shut tightly.

Once we got home, I quickly realized Edward wasn't here, not seeing his car in the garage. It was close to dinner time, so I fed Sophie. We were slowly incorporating more solid foods in her diet, and she loved it. Tonight was when formula was all she needed, as Auntie Alice spoiled her dinner. As for me, I simply heated up some leftovers and sat on the couch watching Sophie roll around. Every once in a while, she would get curious and I'd have to scoop her up before she got too far, and tickled her belly. The giggling noises that she made were melodious, and made me happy enough to forget the world crashing around me.

EPOV

I got up and left before I heard anything else. I figured there probably was nothing left to say, especially since she could shatter me in pieces with just four words.

I knew I deserved everything that was happening. I thought we were doing so well, and then boom, Bella wants a divorce.

Why the hell was I stupid enough to cheat on Bella? Well dickward, when Bella stopped wanting you, you took it out on her and fucked a slut you didn't even find attractive. I sounded like an even bigger jackass when it was put like that.

I thought driving around would clear my head…I guess I was wrong about that too.

How would this affect Sophie? You should have thought about that before you slept with someone else. Where was I going to live? There was no way that I would kick Bella out of the house and live there alone. Although I paid for a majority of it, Bella needed this house for her and Sophie. I didn't want to have to think about this. I was 30 years old, and had a great career, a great wife and daughter, but I lost all of it because I couldn't keep it in my pants when Bella and I were fighting.

I knew I'd have to face Bella at the house sooner or later, but I picked later. I needed to think this out instead of going in there and saying something I'd regret.

I thought about leaving Bella a message, saying that I needed to clear my head and would be back in a few hours, but shot the idea down immediately. Who was I kidding? Bella probably didn't want to remember that I existed, let alone where I was at the moment. I had been driving for hours in a circle that even I didn't know where I was going, or where I was.

I pulled over to find out where I was, and grabbed for the GPS in the backseat, unbuckling my seatbelt in the process. It was then that I realized the large pickup truck coming behind me, music blasting, speeding excessively. I was stuck in my place as I realized it started connecting with my backend.

I flew forward with nothing to stop me as I slammed into the windshield. That was the last thing I remembered before everything went black.

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