Bechloe fan: Thanks for the review! That's how I try to do it, make it unpredictable as much as possible because Beca hates predictable endings. LOL. My advice to you is to check for updates only every two days the least, not everyday, dear :)

Bexaday: I am proud! :) it's because of your (the followers) encouragements that pushes me to do better than what I've already done :) thank you!

Guest (Sloe Shippers): Stan and Chloe are a cute couple, I know :)

Lovebug141: You are amazing as well!

MysticFalls94: I hope I don't disappoint you.

Daffusizers, Averanda: You know I forgot about the song when I was writing this chapter so thanks for reminding me ;)

Mrebel1992: I have always felt bad for Jesse that's why I decided to write Chapter 9. If you ask me, he's the real victim here.

Now as we go through the story, I know that a lot of people might have started to have Chloe's character because of how she's been acting towards Beca and Stan like she's been this selfish bitch. I'm really hoping that after reading this Chapter, we can all try to change those negative perspectives towards her. Now keep reading...

CHAPTER TEN: Just So You Know

I stand by Chloe's side as she holds on to my hand. We wait for Stan as he walks from the A Cinderella Story themed gazebo. Yes, Aubrey, Jesse, and I made sure it looks exactly like the one in the movie. When Chloe told me this flower garden is her favorite spot in Barden because it looks like a fairytale, I required myself to watch the movie. Even for someone like me who according to The Captain's words is 'too alternative' finds that enchanted gazebo romantic, and so I told Aubrey that it's what I want this night to be. For Stan and Chloe.

Stan is all smiles as he meets us up at the entrance. Chloe has the same blissful expression, and it's only right for me to sneer at them. With Chloe's white dress and Stan's fancy suit and tie, I feel like this is a wedding as I hand her over to my brother, and I hand her over whole-heartedly. Yes, this time, whole-heartedly.

I stand right there as they both make their way to the gazebo. As soon as they reach the center, the surround sound system that Jesse and I installed earlier automatically plays a familiar song to everyone but holds some sort of a sentimental value only to me and Chloe – a rendition of the song Wonderwall by Ed Sheeran. As the intro plays, my brother smiles at Chloe and asks her to dance with him. Chloe smiles back at him as she takes his hand.

"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you."

But upon realizing the song playing, from a far, I watch as Chloe's face falls and turns to look at me. Stan follows her gaze, and then tells her something, probably that I was the one who chose the song.

"By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now"

Her eyes tell me that she wants me to answer why. Of all the songs, why do I have to choose that song, our song? And so I respond to her with the best smile I can followed by a nod. Slowly, she turns her eyes away from mine and holds on to Stan.

"Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out."

I just wish Chloe got the message, this rare smile on my face and the nod I gave her - that I love her but tonight I decided I'm going to let these feelings go, gradually. Not just for me, but for Chloe. It's totally unfair to her if I keep lying. Hence, letting her dance with my brother to our song is the first step to ending this madness, and I wish this sights right here would simply numb the feelings away.

"And I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
Well, I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now."

Being in love with Chloe is so much worth it, but I've thought this through. I'm still staying, but I'm also tired of getting hurt. That's why I'm letting her go. This is the end of the line. Tonight is the last night that I get to love Chloe Beale more than I have loved anybody else. Tomorrow, I plan to look at her and for the first time since, I am not going to feel a single loving feeling anymore.

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how."

But she gives me that one last look. I don't know what that look means exactly, but I feel like it embodies feelings that are more significant than words could ever convey. Then, all of a sudden, I realize I'm just fooling myself. This is bullshit. I can't do it. You don't forget your first love overnight especially when all you really want is for her to love you back.

"I said maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all, you're my wonderwall."

Chloe is still my wonderwall. No matter how hard I try, she's still and will always be my wonderwall. Before I feel any urge of running towards the gazebo and push my brother aside to tell her how I really feel from the start, I turn my back on them and drag my feet out of the flower garden.

"So," Aubrey meets me outside. "How is it?"

I ignore her question as the tears just start to roll down my cheeks. Damn it.

"Hey," she tries to stop me. "Are you crying?"

But I keep on walking away.

"Are you alright, Beca?"

Still walking.

"Beca!" she exclaims. "Stop acting like shit and tell me what the hell is going on!"

I just keep on walking and she continues to follow my lead.

"Beca, come on. You can talk to me. Please, just talk to me."

Still, I ignore her. I just want to walk away from her, from the flower garden, from the music, from Stan, from Chloe, from all this heartache and everything. I just want to walk away. But Aubrey grabs my hand and forces me to face her.

"Beca!"

I deliberately look away.

"What's wrong?" she demands as she holds my head in place with both hands.

I shake my head firmly.

"Tell me what's wrong, Beca!"

"What about me?" I finally scream. "What about me, Aubrey?"

The Captain suddenly stops and looks straight into my eyes. I can see her worried and concerned face, and her hands on my face slowly loosen as I continue to cry.

"I so fucking want to move on, to forget her, to stop being such a mess, but I can't! I just can't… because at the end of the day, I still want her to be mine. I'm so sorry, Aubrey. I didn't mean to be such a problem to her perfect fairytale relationship with my brother. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Aubrey."

"Ssh," she gently wipes the tears off my face with her fingers. "Don't say that, Beca. You don't have to say sorry."

I shrug, "It's my fucking fault. I'm feeling things that I'm not supposed to feel! I want things that I'm not supposed to have! I walk around every goddamn day and pretend like I'm fine, but the truth is I'm not! I'm so fucked up, Aubrey. I talk to her and tell her that I'm happy for them when in fact, I secretly want her to love me back. Honestly? I still feel betrayed. I'm the one who fell in love and then they made me look like a fool! But damn, I'm willing to stay where I am, here at the distance. I even promised her that I won't stand in the way. She can ask me anything, and I would do it for her! So tell me! What about me?"

Aubrey opens her mouth but closes it when she couldn't say anything. She lets out a deep sigh as she watches me helplessly fall apart. After a moment, she just throws herself to me and gives me a real embrace.

"I love her," I whisper against her shoulder, and helplessly embrace her back. "I love her so much."

"I know," she gently rubs my back. "I know, Beca."

As much as it feels good to be in Aubrey's comfort zone, I desperately need to get out of here, and so I push her off of me and run away.

"Beca, wait!" Aubrey calls out, but I run away as fast as I could because if I don't, I don't know if I can ever do it again someday.

By ten thirty in the evening, I find myself at the lake, seated on the grass under this old oak tree. Earlier I called my mom because she's all I can really confide in right now and told her everything. I talked and cried at the same time while she listened. I desperately needed somebody to listen to me because I can no longer keep all these feelings to myself. However, I didn't let her say anything. I didn't let her comfort me because I will only feel more pitiful for myself. As soon as I told her the entire story, I shut my phone off, blocking everything and everyone else.

Now I lean my back on the trunk as I compel myself to finish off my eleventh bottle of beer. I bought more alcohol than what I know I can handle because tonight I plan to get wasted. This pain in my chest is too much to bear now that I just want to get rid of it. I want to drown it with as much alcohol as needed until I can't feel anything anymore. No more pain, no more hatred, no more love, no more disappointment, no more desire, just completely nothing. I just want to be the old me again, the old Beca who simply shuts herself out from the rest of the world. It's better. I used to not recognize the loneliness within the cage because I never knew what happiness is all about. I want that emptiness back now.

"Fuck!"

Because I'm still thinking about Chloe. I'm still thinking about her bright blue eyes, her radiant red locks, her cheeky grin, her silky smooth skin, and how I still wish she could be mine.

"Damn it, Beca!"

I harshly wipe the tears off my face and force myself to stand up, holding on to the huge tree trunk. I struggle to stand still on the ground with the booze causing hazy clouds in my head. I rest my hands on the trunk as I slightly lean on it until I'm only staring. I stare at the trunk for a long time, and a brilliant idea pops in my mind.

I punch the trunk with my bare hand, and I feel it sting through my skin and bones. Good. I use my left hand to keep me standing, and then I start punching the trunk with my right hand. I punch it harder and harder every after throw. The pain grows with every punch and so I keep on punching that even my knuckles have started swelling then bleeding, but I don't mind. I don't care. I need this. I need another source of pain. I need to get the pain out of my chest and if this is the only way then so be it. I don't care if I get a fractured hand afterwards. I just want to punch this trunk until my body gives up. I don't know how much time past, but the last thing I remember is the sight of my right hand bathing with blood, and then I pass out.

I don't know how long I have been asleep, though I have hoped that I should have died in my sub-consciousness. I wake up to a pair of hands carefully shaking my body and the sound of a familiar voice calling out my name.

"Beca? Beca, are you okay? Can you hear me? Beca!"

I recognize Chloe's voice, and terror and panic are evident in every syllable she speaks.

"Go away," I mumble as I try to open my eyes.

"No!" she exclaims. "Your hand is bleeding!"

I ignore her. I try to help myself sit up. Man, this is a struggle. I'm still groggy with all the alcohol drinking and my right hand is now really painful, I think I fractured the bones. Thanks to my idea of using an oak tree trunk as a punching bag. Suddenly, I feel her put a hand on my right arm, probably Miss-doctor-to-be wants to examine the damage, but I deliberately pull my hand from her gentle grip.

"Let me see your hand," she demands.

Again, I ignore her. She tries to help me stand, but I opt to ask for the trunk's help instead. I hold on to it for dear life, and Chloe has no choice but to merely watch because I won't invite her in. Good, Beca. You're doing great. Just shut her out.

"Beca," I can sense the pleading in her voice.

I turn around so that my back is leaning on the trunk while I stand up. I try so hard not to look into her eyes this whole time. Using my left hand, I hold on to my right wrist with the hope that it would ease the pain on my knuckles. Then, Chloe starts to move towards me, but I raise my uninjured hand to stop her.

"Don't," I tell her.

"Why?"

"Just don't."

She sighs, "Let me at least take care of your hand, Beca."

I shake my head.

"What do you want me to do then?"

"I want you to go home, just leave me alone."

She tries to move towards me again, but I stop her immediately.

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" I yell at her. I have never yelled at her. That made her stop at her tracks, leaving us simply staring at each other's eyes. Surprisingly, hers look like mine in the recent weeks. It's that 'I'm hurt because you're so close yet so far' look in her eyes. Mine, on the other hand, for the first time since I can remember, is no longer filled with gentleness for Chloe. I'm done being such a martyr for her.

She lets out a deep sigh then looks straight into my eyes, I have to avoid them.

"My excuse for being here in the middle of nowhere at past midnight looking for you is that I went to your dorm room earlier and all I found is your worried roommate."

Kimmy Jin is worried about me? Okay, I didn't tell her where I would be because I thought she wouldn't care anyway.

"What's your excuse for being here at this ungodly hour drunk, passed out, and with your hand bleeding? How did you even get here, Beca? You don't have a car!"

I maintain the 'I'm tough' image as I start to laugh, "Why do you care anyway?"

"God, Beca, stop acting like a child!"

"Then stop treating me like a goddamn child!"

"Well, maybe you should start speaking up for yourself for once. If you do have a problem, say it! Don't just shut yourself out from the rest of the world just because you're not brave enough to face it!"

I remain quiet as I stare at her. I have never seen Chloe so mad. I have never heard her raise her voice. Am I really so much of a mess right now that even the soft spoken Chloe Beale is so fed up with me?

She shakes her head at me in frustration, "If you have something to say, tell me, because quite frankly, Beca, I can't read your mind all the time. You don't want us to treat you like a child? Then stop hiding. Stop running away and stop acting like you're the only one who's getting hurt."

But I'm the only one getting hurt.

"Do you know how much it hurts for me to see you like this? You ran away without any word at all, then all of a sudden, I find you here passed out and bleeding. I was so fucking scared that something bad happened to you!"

Now she's crying. Shit. What the hell did I do? I just made her cry! Bad, Beca.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, hoping she would stop crying but she just keeps on. Suddenly, my walls give in. "You were having this fairytale night with your prince charming. I just can't ruin that for you."

She looks down, "I had to dance with him to our song."

Did it really ruin the night? She was dancing with Stan. Who cares about the song? Yeah, it's our song, but like I said there's no 'we'. Might as well drop its sentimental value, right?

"Does it matter anyway?" I have to ask her. For weeks, I have tons and tons of questions for Chloe. I've heard Aubrey's and Stan's sides of this whole damn story, but what about Chloe's? This question is very important to me, because if she says it doesn't then there's no point of asking about the rest.

She takes a deep breath and turns her back on me. She starts to walk away and I start to panic. No!

"Chloe," I call out her name. "Wait!"

She ignores me as she keeps on walking.

I think about taunting her, "You can't talk to me about not being brave enough when you're this coward to answer one damn question."

I watch her approach her car. She opens the door to the front passenger side and grabs something I can't make out through the darkness of the night. She closes the door and starts to walk back to me. It feels like waiting for forever as I wait for her to finally stand in front of me. I can't believe it. It's a single-stemmed red rose. Exactly like the one I had during the Foundation Day. She's holding on to a single-stemmed red rose in her hand.

I wait for her to speak, but we only stare into each other's eyes. Words unspoken, feelings restrained, only two pair of eyes staring at one another in the dark.

"You said you went to my dorm room," I start. I need her to talk to me now or I feel like I'm going to regret it if she doesn't. "Why?"

I know the tears start to roll down her cheeks again, and I know she's just as hurt as I am. I want to reach out for it and wipe them away, but I feel like there's this invisible wall between us again. She's only a few inches away from me, but it always feels like she's out of my reach.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough," is the only answer she gives. She thrusts the single-stemmed rose to my chest, and I hold on to her hand immediately. We stay like that for a minute or so. No, I wasn't brave enough. She was brave enough to penetrate the invisible wall, I wasn't. I was only brave enough to kiss her when she was not sober enough to remember it. I wish Chloe would stay, but suddenly she pulls her hand from my grip then starts to head back to her car leaving me only with the single-stemmed red rose. She was brave enough to give me this, but I couldn't be brave enough to stop her. I simply watch her walk away from me.

I tighten my grip on the rose until I notice a strip of paper attached to it. I try to read through the dark whatever is written on it.

I love you.

I love you. I read it over and over again until I get a sense of what it means because it feels so surreal. I read it one last time and it's like extremely cold water was poured into my very soul. So I hurriedly drag myself towards Chloe, the alcohol in my system makes it really difficult to walk properly. She's almost at her car so I have to move really fast. Thank goodness she stops when I'm finally blocking her way.

"Wait," I hold on to her as I try to catch my breath. "Stay."

"You want me to go home, right? I'm going home."

I shake my head then look at her, "Say it."

She only stares back at me.

"Okay, I'll make it easier for you," I smirk in excitement. "You are…"

She glares at me, "It's not a joke, Beca!"

"Okay," I try to put on a serious face. When you've been secretly in love with someone for such a long time and you thought that she doesn't care about you all this time only to find out later on that she loves you too, you just can't help but get so enthusiastic. "Just answer me then. You love me?"

"It doesn't matter now anyway," she walks past me, but I grab her arm.

"It does matter!" I exclaim, and it made her turn around to face me again. "I need to hear it from you, Chloe. You love me?"

She cries out, "I love you so much it hurts."

And I stop. I feel my smile turns into a frown. Can she not just say 'I love you, Beca'? Does she really have to say how much that hurts her?

"I was doing perfectly fine with my life then you happened. I have this perfect relationship with Stan and I couldn't ask for more. I swear I was so sure I would spend the rest of my life with him, but then you showed up to the activities fair and suddenly… I'm not so sure with anything anymore."

Wow. Really?

"I never thought love at first sight would be possible. It never happened to me before… but one look, Beca. Just one look from you, and you got me under your spell. I have been in love with you since then, that's even before I found out you're my boyfriend's sister, and every single day after that, I tried so hard to push the feelings away because I know you will never feel the same way for me."

Wrong! That's exactly how I feel!

"Then on Foundation Day, you came up to me to say something and you were holding this red rose. I had this little hope that you might have even the smallest amount of love for me. It took me all the courage I have to ask you about it when we went bowling, but of course, I was so wrong to think about it that way."

Shit. She did give me a chance to say the truth but I blew it off by telling her a lie.

"You'll probably hate me for saying all these. I don't intend to hurt your brother, but at many instances, I was so ready to leave Stan for you," she looks away in what I understand to be humiliation. "But I asked you, and you said you wanted me to stay with him. I asked you, and you said you're happy for us, so I have no choice but force a smile and go on with this."

So she would have been mine if only I asked her to.

"But again, you messed up with my head with that drunken kiss and that song. I looked it up – She is the Sunlight… I'm so confused. That's why I'm here… because I thought I should tell you already and get this over with."

You've been messing up with my head too, Chloe.

"The truth is I'm jealous of Jesse when I think about you two spending so much time together. I'm jealous of Aubrey when I notice recently you two have grown to like each other. But I can't complain. I have no right to do that. I have a boyfriend, for Christ's sake! And every moment that I spend with you, I feel like I'm cheating on him. I'm the messed up one, Beca. I'm stuck in a relationship where I look at Stan but I see you, I kiss him but I wish it was you, I sleep in his arms but I think about you. It will always feel like cheating. So I guess it only serves me right that every time I look at you, talk to you, touch you, or hug you… it feels like every piece of me falls apart because you will always be out of my reach. But it doesn't matter because I still love you. You see?" she pauses to let out a soft chuckle then looks into my eyes. "I'm so in love with you, Beca. You don't even have to do anything. All you had to do is exist, and I will love you forever and always."

Enough. I don't want to hear another word from Chloe. I've heard enough. So I reach for her face and kiss her immediately. I kiss her with all that I am. I can tell she was taken aback by my sudden action, but I'm glad that she starts to kiss me back. I tell myself this is really happening. This time it's real. I'm kissing Chloe, she's kissing me back, and I don't have to ask her tomorrow morning if she remembers because tonight we are nobody but two people in love.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asks in a whisper when we finally stop.

I smile at her, "Because I love you… more than you'll ever know."

Her lips slowly curve into a very happy grin, and I can't help but kiss those lips again.

Her face becomes serious once again and questions, "What does this mean then?"

"I love you, you love me."

"And Stan?"

I stop. Of course, Stan. What about him? Suddenly, his words echo in my head. 'I don't ever want to lose Chloe'. 'I love her so much, Beca'. 'I don't know what I'd do without her'.

"Do you want me to break up with him?"

My answer to that is yes and no. But that would be totally ridiculous. So what I do next is give her one last look, kiss her hand for the first and last time, and walk away with the red rose she gave me. In a snap, all the heartaches and pain just come crawling back to me. Again, I can feel my hand throbbing and bleeding, my head spinning due to the large amount of alcohol intake, and my heart shattering into a million pieces because I'm walking away. For real, I'm the one walking away.

"Beca," I hear Chloe calls out. "What are you doing?"

Yes, Beca, what are you doing? Everything you have ever wished for is finally here. That's when you start walking away? You're so fucking stupid, Beca!

"You're doing it again," I hear Chloe's voice lowers down with every step I take away from her. "You're running away again."

I'm sorry, Chloe, but I guess this is what I'm really good at.

"Go home, Chloe," I tell her without looking back because if I do, I might not be able to walk away from her ever again. "This is over."

She doesn't respond immediately but then she screams, "At least be brave enough to tell that to my face."

The thing is I can't. I don't want this to be over. I want Chloe. But I can't do this to Stan. I can't just steal her away from him. He's going to be really heartbroken. So instead, I'm just going to walk away.

"I will always love you, Beca."

It was a faint cry from Chloe. Somehow, I'm happy that it is the last thing I hear before I pass out on the road because if ever I die tonight, I will remember for eternity that Chloe Beale loves me the way I have always needed her.

Song Titles: (Chapter Title) Just So You Know – Jesse McCartney (2) Wonderwall – Ed Sheeran cover

Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect.