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Tris.
4 days.
It has been 4 days since my mother arrived. 3 days since I last saw her. 2 days since Tobias became concerned. 1 day since I stopped talking.
My life is a mess.
I came across the bloody country to escape my past. Well it looks like it packed its bags and followed me, because all of my old problems have arisen again. I am nothing but a nuisance to my mother, school is becoming increasingly difficult, and I am paranoid about my father finding me.
Oh, and Tobias is seriously worried about me.
"Tris..." He slings an arm around my shoulders one lunch and pulls me close. I breathe in his cologne, "Can we talk? Privately?"
I nod hesitantly. Nothing good ever comes out of those words. We walk out of the packed cafeteria and make our way to the football stands. I sit down and curl my legs up, hunching over. Tobias sits next to me and doesn't say anything. I don't trust my voice at the moment so I remain silent.
After a moment he speaks, "I'm worried about you."
"Don't be." I say in a monotone.
He looks at me and his expression is pained, "Tris how can I not worry? The girl I... am very fond of has a psycho father on the loose, a mother who barely gives her a second thought, and has not spoken a full sentence for a day! Do not ever tell me that I can't worry about my girlfriend."
I am taken aback at the anger tainting his words. Setting my jaw, I look hard at the ground and will myself not to cry. I won't. I can't.
"I'm sorry," My voice is small. I am small. Whether I like it or not, I am small and insignificant and I cannot even say two words without sobbing.
The tears are wet and salty on my cheeks and I wipe them away before Tobias has the chance to. I see the concern in his eyes and this time I cannot hold back my sadness.
He holds me as I cry, and as I let out my misery, I fall in love the way you fall asleep, slowly, and then all at once. (AN/ Hehe sorry I just had to, it fitted. All rights to John Green.)
xxx
Tobias and I walk hand in hand back into school when the bell rings. Our final conversation is still echoing in my head and I find myself smiling.
...
Me: Do I look like I've been crying?
He leans in, close to my face.
Tobias: No Tris, you look as tough as nails.
...
God, he's the best.
We part ways when we get to my classroom, and I lean up and give him a kiss, and he walks away grinning his gorgeous grin.
Mrs Matthews, our chemistry teacher throws me a disapproving look when I walk in. Whoops, I'm late. I stare at her blankly and it is her who finally looks away. I feel a small sense of pride.
I am partnered with a boy named Al. He is tall and broad-shouldered, but he looks nervous. I am guessing he is not very brave.
"H-hello." He says when I walk over to his bench. I shake his massive hand and smile warmly. I'll try and be nice, but if he keeps stuttering he better look out.
After our awkward introductions, Mrs Matthews starts the lesson.
"Class, pay attention. This lesson we will be studying fear simulations. As it is rather clear due to the title, they bring your worst fears to life in your mind. You see, they work because the serum targets your worst..." As her voice drones on and on, I find myself daydreaming about nothing in particular. I only pay attention when she asks for a volunteer to try the fear serum. My hand shoots into the air automatically, and luckily, I get picked.
Mrs Matthews has me lie down on a table.
"Tris, we will see your fear landscape on this TV." And with that said, she injects a needle into my neck and the last thing I see before my world goes spinning into darkness, is her cold eyes, glinting.
Fear simulation.
I awake.
I am in a vast meadow. The sky is clear of clouds. My hands and feet are bound.
A man stands in front of me with a lit match. The fire burns and dances and I am mesmerized. I watch as he brings it close to the ropes binding my feet. I panic. He is going to kill me, I realize. I am going to drown in orange flames, and there is nothing I can do about it.
As the first tendrils of fire lick my skin, I scream through clenched teeth. My skin is blistering. The pain is so intense I nearly black out.
A voice speaks at the back of my mind. This isn't real. But it is, oh, it is, and the pain is real and the smoke is real and this is-
A fear simulation.
It's all in my head. I am alive and well and I am on the table and Mrs Matthews is observing me through her icy blue eyes and the class is watching my fears. And I need to wake up.
The man before me speaks, "I smell your burning flesh."
His voice sends chills through me. Not real, I remind myself. How do I wake up?
If this is a simulation, and it's all in my head, I can control it. I can, I can, I can. Looking up, I imagine grey clouds, heavy with rain, rumbling and about to fall. I smile and look at the man.
"You know what I smell? I smell rain."
The sky opens up
and I
awake.
...
A pounding headache erupts as soon as I open my eyes. The class is watching me, shocked. Mrs Matthews is speechless. I sit up and stand, facing her.
As she stares at me, I take the moment to study her features. She has wickedly sharp cheekbones, fiery blue eyes, short blonde hair and a pointed chin. It is as if all the angles on her face are like knives. Her voice is just as sharp as her features.
"How did you do that?"
I frown, confused, "Do what?"
"Wake yourself up! I mean it's practically impos- no, never mind. Do you need to go to sick bay?" She juts out a hand which is tightly gripping a hall pass. I take it numbly, and walk out the door, eager to leave Mrs Matthews behind.
xxx
The next day I wake to my phone blaring and crippling pains in my lower abdomen. I groan. Bloody cramps. Scowling, I pick up the phone and answer without looking at the caller ID.
"What?"
Tobias' smooth voice came through, "Whoa okay... hi?"
"Hi. I don't want to be rude but why are you calling me?" I ask impatiently. I just want to sleep and eat chocolate, for God's sake.
"Um, I just wanted to know where you were..."
I look at the time. 9:48. Shit.
"I'm sick." I lie. Well, I sort of am sick, but not in the way he's thinking.
"Are you okay?" I rub the bridge of my nose wearily.
"Yes I am fine. It's not like I haven't been sick before." Well, actually, I get sick every freaking month. Tobias doesn't need to know that though.
"Do you need anything?" His sweetness makes me smile, but I am soon hunched over in pain from another cramp. I grunt in discomfort.
I need Mother Nature to stop being a bitch to me every month. I think sourly.
"Oh. Oh," I hear Tobias say.
"Shit, did I just say that out loud?" I mentally beat myself with a stick. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Now he probably doesn't want anything to do with me.
"Yes you did, and I'm coming over. I'll be 20 minutes." He hangs up before I can protest.
I put on black tracksuit pants and a loose white t-shirt. After scouring the cupboards for anything sweet (and discovering we don't have anything sweet), I collapse on the couch, groaning. Then, the doorbell dings.
I swear colorfully.
My heart completely melts when I open the door. Tobias is standing there with a bouquet of white roses, 4 bars of Cadbury chocolate, and 3 movies. He smiles at me and I throw myself at him, wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug. I have the best boyfriend ever.
...
Tobias.
I laugh into Tris' embrace and bury my nose in her soft hair which is thrown up in a messy bun. She looks so beautiful, even in tracksuit pants and a plain white t-shirt with no make-up on.
"C'mon," I mumble,"Let's go inside."
As soon as we enter the living room Tris collapses on the couch, groaning in pain, hunched over her lower abdomen. I slot one of the movies into the TV and crouch down in front of her face, running my fingers through her hair. She groans again and swears under her breath. I quickly open one of the chocolate blocks.
"Trissy... chocolate?" Her eyes shoot open and she grabs it out of my hand. I grin at her adorableness.
Hearing the movie start behind me, I lift up her head and sit. She snuggles into my chest, munching on her chocolate.
"What movie are we watching?" I hear her say quietly.
"Mission Impossible- the fourth one."
She smiles and offers me a piece of chocolate. I take it.
I don't think I have ever been more in love.
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