Updated 4/9/2019: Edited for a smoother read.

Chapter 10

Over the course of the next month, Barristan read all of Jaime's accounts and he found the revelations within the pages shocking and dismaying. It seemed even before the Night King had made his presence known, his ability to cause panic and discord and madness appeared to have filtered down into the kingdom.

King Joffrey was poisoned at his own wedding by Olenna Tyrell, but Cersei apparently couldn't resist getting rid of her most-hated brother, Tyrion. In the chaos of the wedding, poor Sansa Stark was absconded with by Petyr Baelish. She had gone willingly because of Joffrey's beatings and he felt for the poor lady, who was beaten by members of his own Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant and Ser Boros Blount.

It took everything I had not to run those bastards through when I saw them again in this new life. No respectable Kingsguard participates in his King's cruelty. It was bad enough having to stand there and listen to Rickard Stark's screams as he burned alive in his armor, but to assist my king? I'd sooner slit my own throat, Jaime had written.

For so long, he felt that he and Jaime were at odds with each other about a Kingsguard's duties to his king and attitudes, but he was discovering more and more that he and Jaime both believed in the traditional ideals of the Kingsguard.

What followed was a catastrophe of justice as Cersei lined up false witness after false witness to testify against her brother. He was rather surprised that Tywin Lannister allowed this spectacle. Not to his surprise, Tywin had worked on getting Jaime to abandon his duties as Kingsguard and it was only with his brother's head on the line that he declared he was willing to abandon his duties in exchange for Tyrion's life. Except Tyrion didn't accept that bargain and called for a Trial by Combat.

As soon as he saw the names of Oberyn Martell and Ser Gregor Clegane - was there ever a knight that least deserved that honorific? - he knew it was going to end in disaster. Jaime apparently couldn't bear the thought of his brother being executed for a crime he didn't commit and sprung him from jail. Tyrion then earned his execution by murdering Tywin Lannister and jumped ship to Essos.

With the death of their father, the queen seemed to spiral further into insanity by foolishly arming the faith militant. Jaime was ordered to break the siege at Riverrun and he dutifully left for that.

"Certainly not one of my smarter moves," Jaime said to him with a defeated sigh. "I was still in denial about Cersei's insanity. I can't believe it took me so long to see it."

Upon Jaime describing the destruction and aftermath of Sept going up in wildfire, Barristan closed the book and said, "I'm not sure I can read anymore of this."

"Try living it," Jaime grumbled.

'Queen Cersei needs to be as far away from power as possible,' Barristan thought. Jaime was clearly biased, but there was no writing off an act of destroying the sept, murdering the Tyrells and the Seven only knows how many innocent people as happenstance. 'She didn't show up at her own trial, she had to have at least known, if not orchestrated it.'

"I know you said no questions, but...does this mean there's still wildfire caches located throughout the city?"

"Yes," Jaime whispered. There was no mistaking the haunted look in his eyes.

"It should be destroyed."

He snorted. "How? It's dangerous even when it's just sitting alone. It's too dangerous to transport either."

Ser Barristan just shook his head.

Jaime refused to allow him to read in successive nights. Their meetings were sporadic and now that he'd gotten as far as he had, it was becoming a fight as whether he looked forward to the meetings or dreaded them. 'Little wonder why Jaime has nightmares,' he thought. He was beginning to have unpleasant dreams himself of the entire city going up in green flames with Cersei standing nearby with her pleased smirk.

Nearly every night after reading, he'd retire to his bed thinking, 'Jaime is describing people at their worst. He may not be truthful. None of this may be the truth.' But the little voice that was trying to deny seemed to be growing more ineffectual by the day. The Seven or the Old Gods, whichever, whomever, had plainly intervened because they had hung their hopes on Jaime possibly stopping this future from unfolding.

And Barristan would be damned if he stood in his way.

The greatest challenge he found was trying to treat people as he had before this information. He had long disapproved of Ser Meryn, Ser Boros, and Ser Mandon, but hearing their complete misdeeds that stained the Kingsguard made him shorter with them than normal and he refused to allow anyone to change their shifts for any reason. This aggravated Jaime because he otherwise just stewed in his memories in his room, but the Kingsguard needed better discipline.

He doubted it would actually change them for the better, but it did lend him some satisfaction to see their irritation at the recent changes.

Lord Varys never made eye contact since and seemed content to pretend they had never spoken. Ser Barristan was keen to accept the mutual agreement, but he often found himself thinking about what Varys had hoped to achieve. He'd asked Jaime about it one night and expected similar confusion, but he was surprised when Jaime actually answered.

"You looked into the lineage book. He probably thinks your main concern is Cersei's bastards. But that doesn't happen to be your main concern," Jaime replied, a smirk on his lips. "You may have misled Varys in your own confusion. It's dangerous to underestimate a person. Even more dangerous to overestimate them."

"Are you sure?" Barristan asked with a frown.

"His little birds haven't found the accounts. I assure you, I would know if they had."

A week or so after the last reading session, Barristan was on the heels of Robert as he headed toward the small council chambers. Lord Arryn had demanded his presence there. He was one of the few whom the king allowed to direct him though he went grudgingly.

When they entered the chambers, everyone stood upon seeing the king's entry. Ser Barristan frowned upon seeing a new face gazing earnestly towards the head of the table. They bowed and sat at the king's order. Barristan unabashedly stared at the new person. It was, after all, his position to assess threats and a new person, especially on the small council was worthy of assessment.

He was a lean fellow, with a neatly trimmed, goatee. Though he appeared rather young, there was already silver decorating his temples, streaking his otherwise dark brown hair. His smile was earnest, but his eyes glittered in a way Barristan did not like.

"Ah, the new Master of Coin," Robert bellowed. "And you are?"

"Petyr Baelish, Your Grace. I'm sure Lord Arryn will have told you about my successes managing the accounts at Gulltown," he said in an unctuous tone.

Barristan thought his heart leapt in his chest and he struggled to control his expression. 'I see why Jaime prefers to wear his helmet,' he thought. 'It's coming true. Jaime's accounts are slowly coming to fruition. How is this possible?'

"That's right! Turned that town around, I heard. Do the same with the accounts of the crown and you'll be justly rewarded," Robert replied with a belly laugh.

What was an otherwise boring meeting, Barristan spent most of it trying to keep his reactions controlled. His blood was up and he could feel the excess energy in his limbs. It took everything he had to keep his armor from rattling as he trembled, not from fear, but the urge to kill.

'Killing him here and now wouldn't solve anything. It may make the world a slightly better place, but the war would happen with or without his involvement,' he consoled himself. Eventually, the desire for action left him, but his thoughts continued to whirl in his head.

Certain truths that he had adhered to for his whole life felt like they were being subverted - no, they were being subverted. Good did not always conquer in the end. The Kingsguard were not infallible, thanks in part to Robert appointing knights not worthy of the position and also his failing to insist upon that standard. Ser Jaime Lannister was not the murderous Kingslayer, but a knight who made the best decision he could in a harrowing moment.

He and Jaime had come to an uneasy truce. After so long despising one another, Jaime was still terse with him - not that he could blame him - but he recognized that he was on his side by virtue of the fact that he hadn't run to Robert. And at this point, he never could run to Robert. The king was slowly failing his kingdom. Even if Barristan felt safe offering advice, he was certain Robert would never take it. Even without Jaime's revelations, there would be war regarding the line of succession and he had every intention of assisting the true king.

Once Barristan was allowed into the room and the door was locked, Barristan whispered, "Baelish has arrived."

Jaime grew tense and nodded. "I know. That's why I let you in here. You have to finish the last book tonight."

Jaime had already burned the rest. It pained Barristan that he felt it was a necessary evil because it was possible that they could misremember things that they should keep in mind. 'Except we don't want this future to happen,' he mused. Still, it could be used as a means to figure out what moves Petyr Baelish or Varys might make next. 'I've trusted Jaime this far, I have to trust him on this one too.'

They would also prove poor as a record. It was unlikely that if they referred someone trustworthy to these accounts that they'd actually be believed. This was likely going to be a secret they would have to keep for the rest of their lives.

"It's pretty short and ends in tragedy, as you well know," Jaime muttered.

The previous book had ended with Lady Tyrell confessing to being behind the murder of King Joffrey, not that anyone would miss that brat. At this point, all of Jaime's children with his sister were dead and it seemed to weigh on him despite the fact that he had never been allowed to be a father to them. No matter the atrocities the mother had committed, Myrcella and Tommen had hardly deserved their fates.

With a pained sigh, he opened the book and began reading. He'd felt nauseous upon learning that Euron Greyjoy asked for Cersei's hand in marriage and then proceeded to do her bidding. 'I can't think of a worse pair to lead a kingdom,' he thought. It was a shame Euron had already been banished when Balon Greyjoy attempted his rebellion. He had a feeling Jaime would've made the extra effort to kill him.*

This one opened up with the Battle on the Gold Road and Jaime described in graphic detail how he watched his men burn alive by Queen Daenerys riding her dragon Drogon. It brought Barristan back to the day when King Aerys burned Rickard Stark, but this was on an unprecedented scale not seen in nearly three hundred years. It churned his stomach.

Then Jaime charged the dragon with the intent to kill Queen Daenerys.

He glanced over at Jaime. "You can't have possibly expected charging the dragon to work."

"It was worth a shot. I didn't want her burning anymore people alive by her dragon. Turns out we needed the damn thing," he said.

"You're making a habit of attempting death-defying stunts. I better not see you do anything like that again," Barristan growled at him again.

"It was war," Jaime hissed.

"It was stupid," Barristan replied. "Your own man Bronn even thought so."

"He just wanted a damn castle," Jaime said and then grew wistful. "He never did get it."

Then there was the child. My greatest stupidity, Jaime had written. I apparently got Cersei pregnant again. Had I learned nothing after our last three children perished? The first thing she does is manipulate me with the news of her pregnancy, referencing a meeting I had with Tyrion as treasonous. I never did learn the fate of that child.

Somehow Tyrion managed to get both Jaime and Cersei to the table regarding negotiations about the Night King threat, though that's not how it was initially phrased. Cersei would've laughed them out of the city if she knew that this was going to be about the issue of the Long Night. Aemon was at least smart enough to phrase it differently, but his damn Stark honor got in the way. Cersei may be mad, but she's not a fool.

Jaime's words regarding the wight made his skin crawl. The creature that had screamed and ran at him had been unmistakably dead with peeling skin and patches of exposed bone. It still writhed and screamed even after the Hound cut it in half. Aemon, who had yet to be told of his heritage at this point, demonstrated how to kill it with fire and dragonglass, though Valyrian steel also destroyed it.

Aemon refused to deny that he and Danerys were allies. Cersei refused to commit and I followed in her stead, even knowing what a mistake that was. Brienne tried to talk sense into me, saying this was more important than honor and oaths, but I shot her down, because I am a fool. Tyrion somehow talked sense into Cersei and she came back and declared she was committed to the cause. I started organizing the army to march. Cersei interrupts the planning to tell me how stupid I am and said that she had no intention of committing our forces at all. She'd sent Euron to collect The Golden Company, that's why he left. Not because he really was scared (I did wonder if there was anything that could scare that crazy bastard). I told Cersei how ridiculous that notion was, that we'd die no matter who won the war against the Long Night. She accused me of treason and threatened to kill me with the Mountain.

That was it. That was what finally made me leave her. I called her bluff and walked out of there. I knew that tiny amount of mercy would vanish like smoke in the wind. I didn't get very far on horseback before she'd sent her dogs after me. It took every ounce of cunning I had to evade her. I left my armies and rode up north to Winterfell alone. I didn't want to take every last bit of protection Cersei had, especially if she really was pregnant with my child, so I left my army stationed where they were.

Jaime then began a surprisingly detailed account of how he managed to make it to Winterfell and it was harrowing. Even through a terrible head injury that should have left him in a recovery bed for at least a week, he still managed to somehow claw his way to Winterfell.**

The rest of the account detailed meeting Brienne and trying to win the Starks' and Queen Daenerys' trust and their inevitable defeats. The Starks had been able to trap Baelish in one of his own schemes and summarily executed him before he could cause anymore damage. At first there was hope and everyone thought they had a chance, but slowly, steadily, the enormous tide of the undead whittled their numbers down. The dragons hadn't even stood much of a chance. There began a litany of names of people who had fought and died in battle, most of whom Barristan didn't recognize.

Slowly, painfully, the world died around them. It hadn't taken long. No more than two or three years at most. With a ringing finality, Barristan closed the book.

Jaime was still awake for once, but he was simply staring up into the ceiling and said nothing.

"We'll make it right, Jaime," Barristan said, his voice hoarse as though from disuse. "I will help to make sure this future doesn't happen again."

"You're the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard planning treason, Ser Barristan," Jaime whispered, shaking his head.

"As your Lady Brienne suggested, some things are more important than honor," Barristan replied. "Defeating the Long Night, ensuring the rightful king inherits the throne. I do not know what strength I have left in me, but I will fight to the death to see the rightful king crowned."

"Well, you kept up your end of the bargain. Any questions?"

Barristan looked to the window to see the gray light of morning and thought. Jaime had done a remarkable job of answering most of his questions through his accounts and he was now more interested in questions that had specifically to do with what was happening now.

"How can you be sure that Aemon awaits us in Winterfell?"

Jaime gave him a mocking smile. "When I hanged myself, the Gods deigned to toss me a bone. They told me he awaits in Winterfell."

Barristan inhaled sharply. By the Gods own orders, they wanted Aemon crowned. "Do you know which Gods are commanding you? The Old? The New?"

Jaime shook his head. "No, they have not revealed that kind of information to me. Hanging myself was the first time they even bothered to communicate with me."

"Do you have a plan to reach Aemon?"

"Yes," Jaime said, though for the first time he seemed uncertain. "It'll work better with your cooperation, I think."

"Go on."

"When we go to Winterfell to collect Stark for his position as Hand, I was thinking about taking on Aemon as a squire."

"You want to bring him here?"

"If he doesn't go with me, he'll just go the Wall again."

Barristan gave him a sharp look. "You're right, he can't be secluded at the Wall again."

"My plan might work better if you took him as your squire. Old Lord Stark would trust you more than me."

He nodded vaguely, but said, "I'm not so sure about this plan."

"Then think of a better one," Jaime snapped.

"I'll think on it. How long do we have?"

"He's sent to the Wall after Stark accepts being Hand. Lady Catelyn won't tolerate her husband's bastard in her home any longer," Jaime replied and there was mocking in his voice.

"But...but he's the last son of Rhaegar. One of the last of Targaryen descent! Eddard Stark would simply allow his sister and Rhaegar's legacy to rot on the Wall?"

"Yes," Jaime said with a bitter smile. "He also refused to tell him his parentage."

"What?" Barristan seethed. It was unconscionable to him that Eddard Stark was fine with allowing Rhaegar's legacy to simply die out. The boy had at least deserved to hear his heritage and the man couldn't even give that to him. Coward, he thought. He might actually hate Ned Stark as much as Jaime did now.

"It's morning. I'll seek you out to speak more to this," Jaime replied and then sprung from bed. "I have to relieve Ser Arys. He's guarding the princesses."

Barristan nodded and left, his head once more filled with thoughts of a nightmarish future.

*In canon, Euron fights in the Greyjoy Rebellion. A small timeline change for obvious reasons that Jaime would have made the effort to kill Euron Greyjoy given the opportunity.

**Direct reference to my third fic The Road North.