September 10, 2004 – Washington, D.C.
"The truth is… I am Iron Man."
The reporters were out of their chairs in an instant, flashes clouding the screen while voices drowned out the security's attempts to calm them as Tony exited the small stage. I stood from the seat I had taken in front of the television as Nick picked up the remote to shut the television off.
"I told him to stick to the cards," Coulson insisted over the phone on Nick's desk that we had left on speaker.
"Not much of a listener, is he?" Natasha quipped, her arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head at the dark screen.
"No, he isn't." I turned and faced the other two- three, if you counted Coulson- people in the room. "Seems like you have a problem on your hands."
Nick sat on the edge of his desk, his hands planted on either side of himself as he watched me with the same guarded expression he always wore. "I assume this is the part where you tell me you have a solution."
I nodded my head resolutely, though in reality I had absolutely no idea how to fix the situation. Tony had just announced to the world that he was some kind of hero, and with heroes came enemies, not even mentioning the ones he already has. But I was a fixer. Sure I had been in a slump lately, but this was the perfect opportunity to crawl myself out of it. All I would have to do was make a plan up as I went along- nothing I hadn't done a million times before.
"Assuming our deal still stands," I started, motioning between myself and Nick. Natasha glanced at the both of us when he took a moment to answer, but eventually he nodded his head. "You still want to protect him. But Tony doesn't think he needs protection- especially not now. He's going to think he's invincible. King of the Castle, that sort of thing."
"You're just telling us what we already know."
I narrowed my eyes at the phone despite knowing that Coulson couldn't see me, but continued with my mini-speech regardless. "If Tony knows you're watching him, he'll shut you out. All of his research, all of his inventions, all of his secrets. It doesn't matter how good you think you are at knowing people. If Tony doesn't want you to know something, you won't… Unless he doesn't know he's telling you."
There was a pause in the conversation as everyone stopped to think about what I was saying. A small part of myself was yelling that I was being an idiot, that I was betraying Tony's trust, but the larger part of me overwhelmed the little voice in my head. I had lost his trust years ago. This wasn't about me and Tony anymore. This was strictly about keeping him out of trouble.
"So what exactly do you propose?" Natasha asked, uncrossing her arms in favor of propping her arms on her waist. "You think we need someone on the inside? Someone he can trust?"
"Exactly. Not right away, of course. That would be too suspicious, having somebody new come in immediately after he announces that he's Iron Man."
"But when we need him to trust us," Nick finished my thought, leaning further back against his desk with a thoughtful expression. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you had quite a bit of experience in getting people to trust you."
I shrugged nonchalantly, recognizing the sarcasm in his tone. "It's easier to get things from people who trust you. Though I've never needed much of anything from anybody. I'm more of a loner."
"Stark is leaving the building," Coulson informed us. "Should I follow him?"
Nick tapped his fingers against his desk a few times, each thump resounding in the otherwise quiet office. When he made his decision, he sat straight up on his desk and turned his torso to face the phone as he spoke. "No. We know where he'll be if we need him. Return to headquarters."
"Yes, sir."
There was a click when the phone call ended, followed by another moment of silence before Nick broke it once more by speaking to Natasha. "Find Agent Barton and tell him what's changed in the Stark file. For the time being, mark it off as To Be Determined."
Natasha nodded once to Nick, then once more to me as a goodbye before she turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind herself. When I was left alone with Nick, I took a hold of the chair I had been sitting in and rolled it in front of myself to use as a support as I rocked slightly back and forth on my feet.
I knew what I was thinking. I could only assume he knew as well- he usually did in times like these- so there was no point in delaying the conversation any further. "We never discussed what came after."
"After what?"
"Don't do that," I scolded, shaking my head. "Don't play dumb. We both know that you know exactly what I'm talking about, and pretending otherwise is the coward's way out. And being coward doesn't suit you."
Nick's mouth turned up into a smile at that. "You're right. I do know what you're talking about. What I don't know, and what I'm interested in learning, is how you'll bring it up."
This conversation could end one of several ways, determined by how carefully I approached it. If I knew one thing about myself, however, it was that I didn't care enough at this point to approach this carefully. "I could be out of this building before you even blinked, and we both know it."
"Then why are you still here?"
I had thought about that question a lot during my time here, both of my own free will and as a complacent captive. The answer was a simple one, though with a history so complicated and convoluted that it had taken me the better part of a month to work through it all. "I couldn't leave without knowing what would happen to him. I couldn't leave if I wasn't sure that he would be okay."
"And now?" He stood from his desk, looking pointedly towards the door before returning his eyes to mine. "You've been on the run a long time, Emma. Don't you think it's about time you stayed in one place for a while?"
For the first time in a long time, I actually laughed. And not some weak-ass chuckle, either. I'm talking full-blown, gut-grabbing, barely-left-standing laughter. Nick didn't look nearly as entertained as I was at the notion of me sticking around, but I honestly did not care. While I laughed away, he took the time to cross his arms over his chest with an unamused frown on his face.
It took a good minute, but eventually I was able to calm myself down while wiping away the small tears that had pooled at the edges of my eyes, though I was still giggling as I replied to Nick's offer. "I never took you for a comedian, Nick. I don't settle down- anywhere, for any reason, ever. I've never been welcome. And don't even try to convince me that I would be welcomed here, not after the way I've been treated."
"There is one difference," he pointed out. "You wouldn't have to hide here. No more false identities. No more hiding your talents. No more running."
"You're serious," I muttered to myself, running a hand down my face before propping it on my hip. I shook my head as I smiled patronizingly at Nick. "You don't trust me."
"You don't trust me… And I trust very few people, a lot less than I choose to work with." He continued to talk even after I rolled my eyes and looked away from him, dragging the chair around to its original position with my back to him. "Howard trusted you, and because of that I gave you more wiggle room than I've given a lot of people. But that only gets you so far. Even so, I'd like to think that you could do well here, if you learned how to stop running long enough to find a place you belonged, Emma."
"I don't belong anywhere." I turned sharply to face him, no trace of the smile I'd previously worn left on my face. "There have been plenty places indescribably better than this one, plenty of people indescribably better than the people here. But none of that matters when you don't belong with them. I really hate repeating myself, so I'm only going to explain this to you once… I am not a SHIELD agent. I am not a runaway. I am not Emma Pierce. I am nobody. And 'nobody' doesn't belong- not here, not anywhere."
Nick was quiet for only a moment as he contemplated my words, his expression having returned to its natural neutrality. "Then why are you still here?" he repeated.
Except this time I had no answer for him. I didn't know why I was still there. There was no rhyme or reason to my actions anymore. For so many years I had run without a care in the world, but this new millennium had brought more changes than I thought I could ever truly adjust to. So I did the same thing I always have when I can't adjust.
A smile returned to my face, though this time it was one more placating than anything. "Goodbye, Nick."
He had no reply in the next moment, seeing as it had frozen with a simple flick of my wrist.
It was time yet again for me to move on. I knew and understood that, as I had since the day my father kicked me out of my home back at the start of my problems. Back then I had been so young and vulnerable, afraid yet cautiously hopeful. I wouldn't say it was a better time for me, but neither would I say it was a worse time. Though more time than I had ever cared to see had passed, it seemed I would never truly grow out of my bad habits.
I looked back over my shoulder only to see Nick standing in the exact position he had been for the last… well, since technically no time had passed, then he had only been in that position since the last second or so. I may control time, but that doesn't make me the master over it. There were still a million and three things I didn't understand about what I did.
That thought took me back to nearly ten years ago. To a lab with two scientists who loved each other, and who loved me. To a time when learning more about myself and my circumstances had been my priority. To an arguably better time.
I tapped my fingers thoughtfully against Nick's office door a few times before pulling it open and walking out, not bothering to offer the man a goodbye that he wouldn't hear as I walked the hallways of the Triskelion, making my way through the perfectly still lobby and straight out the front doors.
Technology had progressed immensely since the time of endlessly drawing the blood from my veins and running it through blocky computers with limited results. My plan had been to wait until there was a greater chance of me learning more than I had, and according to that plan, there was nothing really keeping me from carrying that plan through anymore. Tony was home and safe again. Thanks to leaving Chicago to come to SHIELD I would have to come up with a new identity and move to a new home anyway, so there would be no trouble there.
Of course, it wasn't as if I could simply go back to Willowdale- back to Bruce and Betty, back to the life I had once known- and pick up where I'd left off. Even if I wanted to, what guarantee did I have that life would be waiting for me if I chose to return? Though I had kept my promise of staying in touch for almost four years after I left them, it had been almost six years since I'd spoken to either Bruce or Betty. But if I was lucky, which was admittedly a rarity for me…
Education. It was an offer I had refused at the time, but one that I had no reason to stray from as of now. I knew more than enough to be a professor in some subjects. All I would need were some carefully forged papers, the right name, the right identity. It wouldn't be easy, but maybe it would be worth it.
It was a unique thing for me to look forward to the future, but that's the position I found myself in as time resumed its usual flow inside of the Triskelion and I made sure the gate was closed tightly behind myself. Now all I needed was a place to go, and a way to get there.