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Seven months, twenty-eight weeks of knowing her.
Three months -twelve weeks- denying her attraction and fighting with the forbidden desire. Four months -sixteen weeks- of wild sex. And just one month -four weeks- of lovely caresses, deep gazes, and touches.
That amount of time was enough to let her wanting more of what just lovers are destined to have. And she couldn't have it.
This had never happened to her before, not with any of her boyfriends and not with any of her three partner cheaters throughout her history. This thing was different, this woman was different and she kind of knew that but never she thought just how different she really was, and less the impact that she would have on her. The feeling was definitely unknown by her and exciting in the best kind of ways.
It was a little bit scary as well.
All her past relationships were in some way false because she wasn't one hundred percent into it, and that leads to broken hearts, not her precisely. But not that Quinn cared anyway, because she promised to herself a long time ago that she would never fall in love, it was a waste of time and a ticket to some complicated paradise. And maybe, that thought was because her particular experience with her family, all cheaters and all falsely loving each other.
Her dad was a strict man, religious and pretentious. He was someone that people feared or respected. And more like feel respect for being her father, Quinn feared him.
He always told her what to do and what not to do, everyone living under that roof was under Russell's rules as well. That was at least until he cheated on her mom. Her father cheated on her mom with a young and beautiful girl that worked with him at the time and simple as that, he left, when Quinn was just sixteen and when her older sister was away in college. He stopped paying the bills in their house and he stopped paying her sister's college as well, but Quinn's sister was smart enough and didn't come back, she just stayed in New York city and started working there.
Her mom had to start working as well to pay the bills because they still needed to live well, but Judy quickly began to hide all their problems with alcohol. And while her sister and father were far away enjoying life Quinn had to deal with an alcoholic mom and with all the questions that people would ask her.
That lasted about one year though because then her dad came back with the intention to get back his family. But after everything, none of them really cared anymore. Her mom had found herself a handsome boyfriend and her sister didn't want to know anything about Russell either. So he just left after being rejected and started to visit them once or twice a month.
Her sister though, couldn't continue studying because she got pregnant, and not precisely of her current boyfriend of the time, she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend and so with the worst luck in the whole world, she got pregnant right away.
Quinn went to New York with her mom to meet the baby when he was born and then, she never visited her again. They just stopped talking at the same time that her mom found out that her boyfriend cheated on her. It was like a cruel repeat of the story for her mom.
After that episode, everything just got worse. Her mom began to drink alcohol every day even before breakfast sometimes, and her father stopped seeing them once again. He still would send them money, but they almost never saw him. And it was okay with Quinn, kind of. She wasn't about to say that in some probably stupid way she missed her father but she wasn't about to see someone who abandoned them either. So it was a pretty much fucked up situation.
She dipped herself into books in that period of her life. She didn't want to even go out with her friends or with her boyfriend, all that she had in that moment was hope, the hope of getting the hell out of there. And for that, given that her father for sure wasn't going to pay for her college, she had to study her ass off to go with a scholarship. And she did, luckily, she got into the best colleges, NYU and Columbia, aside from others less important colleges.
But then again, everything went to the dark side.
It was almost normal in her life the word 'cheating', and so one night Quinn got drunk in some stupid high school party and she cheated on her boyfriend. Not with any guy though, she cheated on him with her friend's boyfriend. And after that, it just kept happening.
It wasn't like she liked him, it was something stupid that she did for impulse and then she didn't know how to stop it and let alone how to say that to her friend Kitty. Her friend found out for her own ways though, and Quinn really didn't want to deal with more drama so she just took a crazy decision and left.
She could have gone to New York to her new college but she wanted to go as far away as possible from there.
She wanted to left everything behind, it was too much drama and problems to take for Quinn. She wanted to start fresh with a new life away from everything that could hold her back. And she did.
She went to Canada and studied there. She started working in the city to pay for all her needs and college. And slowly she started to forget about the life she left behind. She talked with Judy once a week and luckily her sister started to call her too so that way her mom wasn't so lonely all the time. A phone call counts, right? She still didn't know anything about her father though, but every day she cared a little less.
She even met a handsome boy that often would make her smile. They started as friends and ended up being boyfriends, but apparently, that thing of always cheat, was in her genes. Because she cheated on Sam at least twice, and the worst of all was that she didn't feel guilty at all.
Life there was easy, but something within her was still screaming to come back. She didn't know what exactly, her friends? her so dysfunctional family?
She thought she would never miss anybody or anywhere, but she was really wrong apparently.
And again, acting on impulse and right after finish her degree in Literature, she gained courage and decided to come back.
Sam surprised her when he said he was going with her, her boyfriend had family and a couple of friends that lived in the glamorous city as well, but he insured Quinn that he was doing it mostly for her.
And it was fine, really. It was great seeing her friends and mom after four years of being apart, she was happy. Once she finally saw all of them she realized just how much she has really missed them. But then everything changed.
She saw her and just like in movies, it was the only person that she could see the whole night. Sure she had seen her in a couple of pictures that Brittany had sent her in their wedding, but the pictures didn't even get close to her beauty and charming personality.
Santana Lopez, her friend's wife, the officer who keeps the streets safe. And lately, the woman who appears in her dreams every night.
It started wrong, they were cheating. And she was once again betraying a friend. But with Santana, it was completely different, and that was what scared her so much.
Her kisses, sweet words, gentle touches, everything about her made Quinn want more because it wasn't just sex anymore for her, and she just realized that when they came back from the cabin; when she showered that night and got into bed missing her.
She would have loved that night having Santana cuddling her, kissing her goodnight instead of a night of good sex.
So after that weekend she just tried to avoid her and whatever that was happening between them. How long could that last though? Not too much seemingly because she was missing her soft lips like crazy. So when Santana grabbed her by the waist pushing her against the wall, all her senses were focused on the brunette. And it was like coming back to life when she felt Santana so close to her again, it was amazing.
That was until the worst that could have happened to them, happened.
Quinn remained still, frozen in place watching in horror at her friend who was looking at them with a clearly disappointed and knowing expression.
She quickly pulled Santana's arms off of her and stepped back.
"Mercedes," She whispered. Not really sure what she wanted to say.
Quinn was lost of words. Her heart was clenched against her chest beating fast and it made it hard to breathe.
It was her worst nightmare.
"I can't believe you keep making the same mistake." Her friend says with a low voice.
"Hey look-" Santana tried to interfere but Mercedes quickly looked at her lifting her hand to stop whatever the hell she was going to say.
"What? You're going to say that it's not what I think?"
"No Mercedes, I'm not stupid and I know you're not either." Santana began and strangely when she supported her hand on Quinn's small back for brief seconds the blonde felt content and supported, two things that she really needed at the time. "Just don't make things worse, please." Santana almost begged.
And by worse Quinn knew what Santana meant. Mercedes couldn't tell anything to Brittany. Sam really wasn't in Quinn's mind in that moment, the only person that she really needed to not know anything was Brittany.
"Are you asking me to shut my mouth about this, really?" Mercedes asked incredulously.
It was something selfish and probably far away from reality to ask, but she was desperate, and if someone was going to tell Brittany what was going on that person should be her, at least. Or Santana for that matter.
"Please Mercedes," Quinn replied suddenly with the urge to cry.
"Should I say Tina that she should watch her back too? Are you going to make out and have sex with Mike after her?" She said kinda angry pointing to Santana.
That was low, but Quinn knew that she wasn't exactly in the place to say anything.
Santana however, thought different.
"Stop right there Mercedes, leave aside all nasty comments okay?" The brunette spoke for Quinn defending her honor or what was left of it, with a low and calm tone but warning.
Quinn shook her head at Santana innocence.
"Are you defending her now?" Mercedes scoffed.
Quinn looked at Santana for the first time since Mercedes interrupted them and it confused her seeing Santana so, okay with this?
Her hand again made contact with Quinn's back in what she thought was some gesture to calm her down. She wasn't going to deny that it felt good seeing her so calm next to her instead of seeing her freaking out like her. But Quinn really didn't need any type of physical contact with Santana, given the circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. Less after what just happened and less in front of her friend who just found out what they have been doing.
"Please, I'm begging you to at least not say anything tonight." Quinn tried again as a single tear fell down her cheek, she didn't even realize that she was silently crying until her tear made contact with her upper lip. "I'll tell her, I promise. Just not tonight" The blonde added with her voice cracking.
But honestly, Quinn didn't even know if she was capable of doing so. Maybe not right away, definitely, maybe not in a long time. But she needed to convince Mercedes in some way and quick.
And after a couple of terrible seconds, she didn't know if it was the imagen of her crying or because her friend Mercedes was truly feeling pure shame for her. But the thing was that Mercedes reluctantly nodded, and Quinn let out a small sigh of relief.
"You'll tell her soon." Mercedes stated before glaring at them one last time and heading to the door.
Quinn nodded despite the fact that Mercedes wasn't seeing her. And her heart began to slowly recover its normal beats again.
Santana quickly grabbed Quinn's hand pulling her towards the stairs instead of the elevator so that way Brittany couldn't see them. The brunette closed the door once they were inside and Quinn supported herself on the wall, closing her eyes as reality began to finally hit her.
"Quinn I-"
"Please don't say anything." Quinn softly said, opening her eyes and drying her tears.
Her heart was aching with some familiar feeling.
She wasn't in the mood to talk, she just needed to think. She needed to think about so many things that her head was already hurting.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that Mercedes would arrive so soon." Santana apologized pursing her lips, she was the imagen of guilt.
If it weren't for the circumstances Quinn would have smiled, because it wasn't Santana's fault at all and she was blaming herself.
"Why aren't you freaking out with all of this?" She asked analyzing the girl in front of her.
It was weird that Santana could potentially lose her wife and she was looking so calm.
Santana shrugged, however, before walking the few steps that separated them. She cupped Quinn's right cheek in her hand to lift her head and make Quinn look at her, gently drying some other tears with her thumb.
Her other hand quickly grabbed her waist, pulling her body away from the wall and close to her.
Quinn was already feeling numbness with their closeness, and that wasn't good.
"Santana," Quinn whispered with the intention of warning.
Santana didn't say nor did anything though, she just hugged her. She hugged Quinn tight against her body trying to put her back together and Quinn automatically supported her head on her shoulder, letting out more tears and hugging her tight as well; hugging Santana like she had never hugged someone before. It was comforting and she let herself relieve some pain and fear with the only woman that seemed to get her lately.
Quinn enjoyed Santana's warm embrace and her hands smoothly rubbing her back. She enjoyed her scent and the soft kiss that Santana gave her on her forehead afterward. Quinn really enjoyed it because that could be easily their last moment together.
Her happy bubble was over.