Day Ten
I am currently sitting on the roof of this centre, it's peaceful. There's waste littering the ground and only a handful of walkers slowly dragging their lonesome lives across the streets. The stars are shining so brightly that I forgot how beautiful they were. They are like shinging white lights, when I was younger daddy told me that the brightest stars represented the people we loved who had past. I see 5 bright stars, my mother, daddy, you, Maggie's baby, and Glenn. I have your crossbow resting between my knees, the metal is slightly rusting away at the edges and but it's not too bad. It's like a piece of you and I can see you sharply turning and sending an arrow straight into a walker skull. It's amazing how the human mind works isn't it? I can picture you every single day and I'm determined to to forget your face.
It started to rain earlier, and for once I was greatful for it. When I was younger I hated the rain, it meant I couldn't go riding on the horses and I couldn't see my friends. But, now that I look at it I see how beautiful it is. A clear droplet that is so innocent that has no idea it'll die when the sun comes out and evaporates into the sky. I guess a lot of things were so beautiful when I was younger, but I guess when your imagination can run wilde without the concept of reality a lot of things are so beautiful.
Judith is so big now, she's walking around and clapping her hands. She calls for Rick and Carl so much and a few times Rick isn't there so she calls for me. She calls me "effy", she can't quite get the 'b' or the 'th'. She's gotten Bethy from daddy and Maggie. A few times I couldn't have coped and I gave her to Carl and cried. I am tired and sick and suffering because we lost so many people.
Early in the morning they left for DC. We all said goodbye. I stood at the back my arms crossed over my chest. I would have been there kissing your lips and hugging you threatening you if you didn't come back that I'd kill you. I wouldn't have let go until the moment was absolutely critical to. You would kiss my forehead telling me that you loved me and I'd tell you I loved you, I'd wipe the corner of my right eye and wave at you while the car drove off. We'd laugh because that's all we have, I mean had. Oh god Daryl you have made me a mess. Seeing Rick hold Judith and Carl in his arms whispering sweet nothings into their ears made me think of what would happen if we'd had a family. I don't know though Daryl you always confused me.
They still haven't returned from DC, according to my watch they've been gone 13 hours. They left at 6am, it's now 7pm. I'm worried about them Daryl, I just hope their safe. I love you so much Daryl Dixon, Bethy xx