"What do you mean you love Luke. Does love come easily to you?" God this guy was getting on my nerves.
"No. My entire life, I never believed in love. I wasn't raised in a...to put it nicely, an ideal home. My father left when I was seven and my mom spiraled down from there. If Luke had never met me… I wouldn't be here right now."
"Well obviously. You wouldn't be famous" He snorted. He must think he is so damn funny.
"I didn't mean on the show. Luke saved my life, in more ways than one."
"Nobody is raised in an ideal home. What was your home like? How did Luke save you?" What was this? Dr. Phil?
"My mom was a drug addict. Cocaine, meth, acid, heroine. You name it, she did it. I had bumped into Luke earlier that day and he let me er- practically forced me to take his hoodie-
"Which was mine!" Michael yelled from off the floor. "Well, Luke stole it about a year ago."
"Like I was saying. It was cold in the grocery store. That night… my mom didn't have enough money to pay for…" Luke squeezed my hand. It was pretty obvious he was ticked at Dylan too. I looked off stage at the guys. I forgot they didn't know any of this! "She came up to my room… And told me too see Jacob. That was her payment. Me, my own mother set me up with her dealer. Happy now?" I played with the treads of my dress as tears sprung to my eyes as I hastily pushed them away. Luke pulled me closer to him. My bottom lip quivered as the guys rushed onto the floor. All of them running over to hug me. I tried to push them off, telling them I was okay. But I could see the sadness in their eyes.
"We will be right back after this break!" Dylan announced. I walked to the dressing room to calm down. Luke stormed in, seething, talking through his teeth.
"He went to far! He had no right to ask any of that! None at all! He shouldn't of- You were- He just- You said-" He couldn't even speak in complete sentences he was so mad. "You said you loved me."
"I-I do. Luke, I do so much! I have never believed in love. My mom and dad never shared it. The only love I ever saw all ended badly. My mom was in love with her drugs. Nick was in love with another woman. My dad was in love with the idea of love. None of it was real. And then you came along… and all of that didn't matter. I was feeling feelings I'd never felt ever in my life. Then you said you loved me. And I couldn't believe it. How could someone like you like someone so damaged as me. I thought I was just a charity case. I was okay with it but I never imagined you actually lo-" He captured my lips with his. I felt the cool touch if his lip ring. His hands entangled themselves in my hair. Kissing me with such love and passion nobody has ever kissed me with before.
"Like that. That's how I love you. Love isn't something that can be explained. It's something you feel. And love is always out there. And I, Luke Hemmings, love you."
"I love you too. Thank you." He kissed me on the forehead before we walked back out on the floor with the rest of the guys.
"Welcome back to the interview with 5 Seconds of Summer and Luke Hemmings girlfriend Harley Bradin! The audience has some questions for you guys. First question please!" A microphone passed to a girl in the back.
"My question is for the guys. What is the most annoying thing she does?" I looked at them in shock. I can see where this was going.
"I think it has to be the… cleaning." Ashton said.
"Yes. Or the worrying." Michael added
"You see." Luke started. "She is always cleaning. At first I didn't realize it was her. I just thought the guys started to pick up their shit. Then I wake up in the middle of the night, and she's there, scrubbing the floors. sweeping, cleaning the counters."
"What about the worrying?" Calum asked. "Harley worries about us constantly. It's very sweet."
"It's not as bad as when you guys worry about me."
"They didn't ask about us though." I shoved Calum off the couch. He glared at me before sitting back down.
"Those don't seem that bad."
"She's pretty much perfect."
"Next question!"
"Do you guys sleep in the same bed?" The girl asked with a shy smile on her face. I blushed as she spoke those words. Luke threw his head head and laughed even more at the sight of the red on my cheeks.
"Yes. When she has nightmares."
"Oohhh, and how often is that?" Dylan asked intrigued.
"About every night. If we're lucky though sometimes its only every other night."
"How do you know when she has a nightmare?"
"I uh… I suffer from night terrors. Lukes room is right next to mine so he hears."
"I see."
"What is something weird about Harley that you noticed?"
"Well, who want's to start?" Calum asked.
"I will!" Michael yelled, raising his hand. Gee thanks Michael. I pouted to Luke, sticking my
bottom lip out. He just kissed me before returning to Michael's weird thing about me. "She doesn't like group hugs." Michael looked at me with confusion written all over his face. His voice sounded like a childs as he pouted because I did not, in fact, like group hugs. I merely rolled my eyes, sticking my tongue out at him.
"Me next!" Calum called out. This was going to be the "best" question ever. "She doesn't eat a lot. Which is really weird." Well, theres a reason for that. And with the way this interview is going, we would talk about it later.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I find the fact that she doesn't like shopping a little strange." Ashton chipped in. Of course he would say that! It's weird what they notice about me. Even though it's obvious.
"Okay. First thing you need to know is that Harley is a writer. She is the type of writer who will stay up until three or four in the morning writing, wake up at eight or nine, to write some more." I didn't know Luke noticed that. That alone made me smile
"Interesting. I will take one more question." Some girls moaned. "You will have another chance later on in the show!"
"What type of girl is Harley, from your guys perspective." Aw yaaasss! Something that wasn't directed negatively! I like this child.
"Harley is the type of girl who…" Ashton started. Oh boy…
"Who loves to cook."
"She loves to write."
"She very plain." The boys chimed in here and there. All speaking out of turn. Luke hadn't spoken yet however. I hope he doesn't say anything embarrassing.
"Harley is the type of girl who hates it when you worry about her. Or when you do anything for her. She very independent, and a wonderful writer. She is such a klutz but it's adorable." Luke sure knows how to make me blush.
"She's motherly."
"And fun!"
"She doesn't like attention."
"She's scary when she's mad."
"But she's beautiful." Luke looked me in the eyes. Suddenly I was aware of how close he was. How his one hand was around my waist, playing with my multi colored hair, while the other was enclosed on my hand. Holding as if his life depended on it. His face was so child like.I mean, he looked like a total badass. When you just saw him, he was the kind of guy most dads would try and keep their daughters from. But if you would just look past those, he's the kind of guys dads should be pushing their daughters to be with.
I squeezed his hand, never wanting him to let go. I didn't even realize that Dylan asked me another question.
"What did Calum mean by you don't eat much?" Lord save my soul!
"Um… I'm just not that hungry."
"Are you hungry now?"
"Nope." Lukes face was turning so many different shades of red right now. I'm glad I was holding his hand, otherwise he would have punched him so hard in the face. I leaned back farther on his hand around my waist. He looked at me with that guilty smile. Ya that's right Lucas. I knew what you were thinking.
"Harley. Are you anorexic?" I sucked in sharply.
"Why don't we take some questions!" Luke shouted, trying to stay calm. "You! In the purple!" I have never see Luke so mad, but trying so hard to get calm for my sake.
"What's the most adorable thing she does?" I saw Luke breathe a sigh of relief.
"When she's writing, she always has index cards and a pen nearby. She just leaves them there. All on them is drawings, titles, saying and quotes from her stories. It's adorable. I keep some of them in my wallet." I looked at him in shock, as he pulled his wallet out and brought some of them out. Some of them I drew his name all over it, I drew flowers. Sayings from my book. "My favorite is 'You never know how fragile something is until it's broken.' It's pretty adorable. Sometimes she falls asleep at the computer. Her face is so peaceful as she sleeps. Next question."
"Is there anything she does that's totally obvious?"
"Actually yes. She hates soda rings. You know those rings that form around your soda after you leave it out and the outside gets super watery. So whenever she is drinking soda or anything actually, she always makes a homemade coaster with those index cards. You can always tell what band she's listening too, or a book she's reading because she will write all about them.. Lyrics of a song, quotes from the book. A couple of them were of 5sos." Great. I forgot about the coasters. But I have to admit. There band was awesome. I was dating their lead singer. How could I not listen to them.
"You! In the back!" I shouted to a girl wearing an All Time Low shirt.
"What is the cutest thing Luke does?"
"I got this guys." Michael said confidently. "Luke eats very cutely."
"No Michael. He dress so cute!" Calum yelled.
"Guys. It's obviously his drumming skills. Oh no wait. That's me." Ashton flipped his curls out of his eyes, breaking out in his signature grin.
"When Luke sleeps, he has the most peaceful expression of his face. And he always holds onto the pillow." His face glowed red as a blushed creeped up his face.
"I didn't know you watched me while I slept Quinn." He whispered into my ear. The cool metal chilling my ear.
"I could say the same thing to you Joker." I whispered back.
"Luke said you write. Could you read something you've written." Dylan asked. I inhaled a shaky breath before I brought out my book of all the things I've written. I stole a glance at Luke before reading a poem I wrote in the hospital after one of Lukes visits.
"I hear her yelling.
Her voice carrying through.
I hear her screams.
As she cries for peace.
I feel her palm.
The imprint warm of my cheek.
I feel the sting.
As another one lands.
I remember what it was like
When she damned me to hell.
When she told me I was better off dead.
As if she'd take care of me.
Her yells bounce off the walls.
Like they bounce off of me.
Bitch! She shouts.
Failed abortion! She claims.
Hell, what she says I made her life.
What she is making mine.
The smell of burning drugs
Crowds the apartment.
I hold the smell
On my clothes.
In my hair.
Her face hollows.
Her hair thins.
The monster approaches.
Another fix. Another high.
I hide in my bedroom.
Hoping to be unnoticed.
Her screams following me to dreams.
Waking me up to reality.
She yanks and pulls.
My hair astray.
The stench of alcohol.
And burning drugs.
Wafes my way,
As he comes closer.
Her supplier. Slowly marching forward.
Sweat mixed with beer.
Fear tainting the air
Irish Springs, and a hint of Axe.
Bright blue eyes, a hand to hold.
I feel her still.
She follows me to my dreams.
Her hollow face
Her thinning hair.
She doesn't leave.
She'll always be here.
Here she comes, into my dreams.
My mother approaches." I looked around. Everybody was quiet. I looked over at Lukes face. He was looking at me in shock. His hand no longer around mine, as I had to hold my book, but I missed it's warmth. His eyes slightly glazed over. I'd never seen him look so… unreadable. I've always been able to read what he was feeling, thinking. But right now, there was nothing. No emotion. I couldn't tell if he was overjoyed or appalled. I looked down at my hands, fidgeting with my fingers. Then his hand was of the back of my neck, drawing me closer to him. I felt his arms wrapped around me as he pulled me into a hug.
"I'm so so sorry." He whispered into my ear. I breathed a sigh of relief. "I love you. Don't you ever forget it." He pulled away, landing a kiss of my lips. His hand never leaving mine.
"I love you too." I whispered back.
'Well, that does the interview. Don't forget! 5sos will be back here next month for their next concert! That does it! It was nice having you guys here. See you next month!" Dylan shouted into the crowd. I just wanted to go home. It's been a long day. I felt Lukes arm securely around my waist as he led me out of the studio. The car was silent as we drove home. The tension was so thick you would need more than a knife to cut through it. A chainsaw maybe?
I laid my head on Luke's bicep, I couldn't reach his shoulder. Not my fault I'm only 5'4"...on a good day. He traced the tattoo on my wrist with his finger. I could hear Calum and MIchael talking about what Dylan said about the anorexia. I don't want to worry the guys. But I don't see anything wrong with it. But I know it is wrong. It's confusing really. I see being skinny is awesome. I look fit, I look beautiful. But, the way I'm getting skinny is wrong. But it's too late to reverse now. Food is disgusting to me. I look at it and I feel like if I eat it I'm a bad person. That I'm going to get fat, that Luke won't love me anymore. That's stupid I know. But at the same time I can't shake that feeling. I felt my heart rate slow as my breathing evened out. We were stopped somewhere between 8th and main st. on our way home. The heat of the car and the sun shining through the window pulled me into the black abyss of darkness we know as sleep.
"Harley… We're home." Luke was gently shaking me awake. He hadn't talked much on the way home. There was something on his mind.
"Carry me?" I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout. He just rolled his eyes and picked me up nonchalantly, like it was nothing. Well, okay I am only 99 lbs. A yawn passed my lips as he carried me to my room. Placing me carefully on the bed, he laid beside me. Propping himself up on his elbow. I inched closer to him, placing my head by his chest. He chewed on his lip ring. I ended up taking mine out of my bottom lip. I may get a ring like him, but I'm not sure. I still have my eyebrow piercing in.
"Everything alright?" I asked as I traced the art on his bicep with my index finger.
"YA. I just.. that poem. What you went through…"
"It's okay."
"No. No it's not! What your mom did. WHat she's still doing. I can see she's hurting you. I just wish I was sooner…"
"You came didn't you? You saved me. You hold me every night. You barely get any sleep anymore. But you do it for me." I wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him into a hug.
"But-"
"No! Stop beating yourself up over something you couldn't control. I'm okay. I'm healed up and I'm okay. The nightmares will pass. All you have to do is stay here. Stay by me. I'm getting better." He closed his eyes before nodding an okay. I pushed his arm down so I could lay by him. He kissed me lightly on my head before closing his eyes. The peaceful expression I talked about earlier overtook his face as he held onto me like I would disappear.
I laid my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. I closed my eyes, wishing for just one night. I wouldn't wake up screaming. Behind my lids, I could see Jacob running towards me. Hitting me on the head. The smell of the beer he was sweating. Lukes shirt bunched in my hand. I could smell his cologne enveloping me. I was safe. I wasn't in my apartment in LA. Luke was here. He would protect me. And with his short temper, Jacob wouldn't get close. I closed my eyes again. This time, it was his face behind my eyelids, not Jacobs or my moms. Just Lukes.