Hermione cackled manically, today was going to be a very good day indeed! XD
Ahh, today was the glorious day on which she returned to the institute of her education, Hogwarts (I don't know if that made sense or not, but basically she's one of those strange people who's happy about returning to school, although if I went to Hogwarts I'd be pretty happy about going back). Anyways…
It was about 7:00 am, and somebody was still sleeping… "DRACO!" she yelled, only inches away from his ear.
He instantly shot up, then looked at the clock, "What the hell Granger? Couldn't you have woken me up at like 10:45?" (He wants to pull a Chloe, which is defined as getting up 5 minutes before you leave and still being ready in time, somehow)
"No, how am I supposed to know where to find a flame thrower?"
"Ask Snape or something, I don't care…" he lay back down, then sat back up when her words registered. "What do you need a flamethrower for?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing," she smiled sweetly.
He eyed her suspiciously, "I don't believe you."
"I don't care; I just need a flame thrower."
"Why would I have one?"
"I dunno, I just wanted to wake you up… you know, ruin your morning…"
"Grrr," and with that he went back to sleep.
Sigh, now where was she going to find a thrower of flames? Eh, she's an incredibly intelligent witch, she easily transformed Draco's other sock (the one that matches the one that's now a sock puppet), into said flame thrower.
Hehehe, she cackled while grinning evilly. You'd have been very scared if you had seen her, but unfortunately, you just have to take my word for it, it was creepy.
She crept into Voldemort's room (hehe), she had plans!
Voldemort felt heat against his face and instead of finding out what it was, he squeezed his teddy bear and snuggled deeper under the covers.
The heat increased until it was scorching. Finally, he opened his eyes and saw a flame, just inches from his face! He squealed (yes, squealed), and jumped out of bed.
He wasn't very surprised to see Hermione standing in front of him, he just wished he knew how to lock his room to prevent her from entering…
He started yelling, something about how flame throwers were dangerous, how she was an evil child, and how it was just plain rude to enter somebody's domain without permission.
She wasn't really listening (not that she ever did), she was staring at him.
Eventually her staring creeped him out, so he peered in the nearest mirror (which was oddly close). He screamed, and then fainted.
When he came to (because Hermione had thrown freezing water on his face), he looked in the mirror and almost screamed again.
"Congratulations, you're officially bald!" Hermione smiled and shook his hand.
"I've been BALD," he growled, "However, I liked having eyebrows!"
She shrugged, "Sorry," she said, though she clearly wasn't.
"Ugh, what's your problem?"
"Well…"
"Never mind, don't answer that, I don't even want to know. Why'd you feel it was necessary to wake me up with FIRE?"
"Well, you have a Death Eater breakfast at 8:00 so I figured you needed an hour to put on your evil countenance."
"I never scheduled a Death Eater breakfast…"
"Too bad, as Chief White Mask, your presence is required. Now go shower or something because PU, you stink!" She pushed him towards his bathroom.
She left quickly (he really did smell, only it was her fault, after all, he smelled like burning hair). She walked down the hallways whistling and twirling her bestest buddy (Flamey the flame thrower). She needed to wake up Draco for the Death Eater breakfast, and she knew just how to do it….
"Draco," she called sweetly and pulled his covers off.
"Go away!" And he tried to pull his covers back but was met with a HOT surprise.
Hermione was standing there smirked as she turned on her flame thrower and burned his covers to a crisp.
"Nooooo!!!! Dammit, now I have to get up and pack."
"You mean you were going to sleep for several more hours and you haven't packed yet?" Hermione was shocked.
"Obviously, why pack last night? That would be a waste of the last night of break; instead Pansy and I went shopping."
"Oh really? That's great," she smiled (for some odd reason she was annoyed). "Blaise and I went to a Quidditch game, the tickets were very hard to get."
He looked at her funnily, she sounded like she was bragging. But Hermione hated Quidditch and would never brag about something like that, it was one of the things that made her stand out from the rest of the Slytherin girls.
Then his question was answered, Pansy walked in. "Oh hi Drakey."
"Oh shit," he muttered. He remembered Voldemort's orders. "Hey Pansy, we need to talk…"
"Oh no, Drakey, you're not breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you."
"What?"
"Yeah, me and Blaise are an item now; sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
"What, I thought Mandy was dating him?" Draco looked so confused.
"No," Hermione added hurriedly, "This is what I was trying to tell you. Now we don't have to worry about hurting their feelings and we can be together. Blaise and I broke up the Quidditch match last night, we just liked other people."
"Besides, Blaise is a MUCH better kisser," Pansy smirked and Draco just sorta stood there.
Blaise stuck his hand in the room and gave Pansy and Mandy a thumbs up! :)
After Pansy and Draco left so that she could help Draco pack (Blaise hinted at it).
Once they were gone Blaise gave Hermione a big hug, "Thanks so much!"
"What?"
"Just for us breaking off our fake relationship, after all, I really do like Pansy."
"Are you saying you don't like me?"
"Yep," he stated simply.
"Oh Blaise how could you?" She faked crying.
"Right whatever," he laughed.
She smiled and hugged then went to find some food. After all, relationships and fire can make you hungry.
Draco and Pansy had listened in and she was very happy that she and Blaise were together, after all, her and Draco were SO last year.
At breakfast everybody was very solemn and probably tired; they hadn't known there was an attendance required breakfast in the morning. Oh poor little Eaters of Death, NOT! Ha, I have to be on the bus at 7:40 so they if they don't like it they can suck eggs!
Towards the end of the breakfast Voldemort had a panicked look appear on his face. He grabbed his stomach and quickly left the room, all they heard was a small explosion.
A few minutes later he returned, a nasty odor wafting in with him.
"Umm, I don't think I'll be able to accompany you guys to Platform 9 3/4." A small fart sound was heard and he rushed to the bathroom again.
"What did you do?" Draco asked.
"Absolutely nothing, I believe it's his bowel you should blame."
"Really?"
"Okay," she smiled, speaking kinda loudly so that several others would hear her, "I slipped a laxative in his food, he'll be on the toilet all day."
An explosion shook the building.
"What kind of laxative?"
"A magical one that causes explosive diarrhea," she giggled.
They heard a small voice say, "I'm okay." A couple good Death Eaters rushed to see if their Master was okay, but most wanted to get away from the stench.
Lucius and Snape sighed (one knowing it was Hermione and the other being used to her annoyingness), they'd escort the children to the train station.
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Before they entered their compartment on the Hogwarts Express Draco drew Hermione aside and confronted her, "So you and Blaise were 'fake' dating?"
"Yeah, basically." She admitted, she wasn't even going to bother lying.
"Why?" he asked, still not sure why he cared, they were allowed to be weirdos if they wanted to.
"Well Blaise just wanted to a. date someone, and b. annoy other people that wanted to date me and I figured it would make my disguise more believable." Hermione explained, not sure why she was lying… after all, what did she have to hide?
Draco sighed, "That definitely sounds like Blaise."
This time the eavesdropper was Blaise, and now he was a very suspicious Blaise.
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Hermione walked into Hogwarts her heart racing. She wasn't sure why, but she was excited. Maybe it was because she'd survived several weeks with the most evil wizard of her time, maybe it was because she was back in her favorite place, or maybe it was because she and Draco had reached a truce. (It's a combo. of all 3 if you couldn't figure it out)
At dinner there was a girl sitting all alone at the end of the table. JuliaRoger140 sat with everybody ignoring her. Hermione felt bad, she wanted to sit with her, but she couldn't. She didn't need to jeopardize her mission.
"What's her problem?" Draco asked, pointing a finger towards her lone silhouette.
Pansy snickered, "She's such a whore."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, her Gryffindor curiosity getting the better of her.
"She's doomed," Pansy smiled as though she was extremely happy.
"How?" Hermione said, getting annoyed. She just wanted to know why JuliaRoger140 was doomed; she didn't care about Pansy's problems.
"Well, we don't have a cure for AIDS yet…" she trailed off as Snape began his welcome back speech.
Back in the common room Hermione cornered Draco, "Shouldn't you guys be sad that she's gonna die? After all, she's a Slytherin, right?"
"Yeah, but she was a real bitch. I know you think we're all jealous and evil and have superiority problems, but Slytherin house is very structured. You have people you don't mess with and she messed with them, she thought she was cooler than she was, so none of us are sad to see her leave."
Hermione sighed.
"Besides, we're just glad she's not pregnant," Draco smirked.
"I know I'm gonna regret asking, but do you know who she got it from?"
"Why? Trying to make sure you don't make the same mistake?" Pansy sneered as she entered the conversation. She eyed Hermione's tight, low-cut red top that showed her belly above her low-rise jeans.
"Sure," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Anyways, she's so ugly even her crabs have herpes. But she got crabs from Crabbe, and gonorrhea from Goyle and HIV/AIDS from Rabastan Lestrange."
"Isn't he old?"
"Sorta, he's like in his 30's but she was so desperate to get some that she'd do it with anyone."
Normally Hermione would think that she was being abnormally cruel, and I guess she sorta was, but when it came down to it, JuliaRoger140 was a bitch who was just getting what was coming to her. She was the kind of teenager that old ladies scorn and call 'loose' so she was doomed. Besides, she remembered JuliaRoger140 flirting with Harry last year when everyone was obsessed with the 'Chosen One'.
Draco smirked, "You don't seem so annoyed at Pansy's obvious glee."
"Well, why not? She only got what was coming to her. But why is Pansy so ecstatic?"
"Well, one of the people she messed with was Pansy, she kept trying to spread rumors and take her 'throne', let's just say that that made Pansy VERY unhappy."
"That's an understatement, I thought Pans would kill her then and there," Blaise commented. "Her face was red and she had this creepy Slytherin glare on, she was out for blood, but Snape intervened. Although, JuliaRoger140 did get detention."
"Why? Just because she pissed off Pansy."
"Well, detention was better than death. Besides, she'd started so many fights that Snape wouldn't have been able to keep his job because Pansy would've complained to Lucius. And you know how Lucius loves to get people fired or kicked out of school." Blaise explained.
"Yes, Draco told me about his stupid actions with a hippogriff and how his father severely overreacted."
Blaise looked amused, "Draco said that?"
"Not in so many words," Hermione admitted.
"Right…" Blaise laughed while Draco merely glared.
"You glare way too often Draco," Hermione said reprovingly.
"Oh shut up, it's not my fault you're annoying," he glared.
"Yes it is,"
"How?" he challenged.
"I don't know it just is."
"Draco, don't bother arguing, you're not gonna win if you don't understand her logic," Blaise intervened.
Hermione smirked but Draco was slightly annoyed, "Like you understand her twisted logic Blaise."
"Nope," he admitted good-humoredly. "But I, unlike you, am smart enough to accept that she's a female and therefore has crazy odd logic that makes absolutely no sense."
"Hey, my logic makes perfect sense!" Hermione protested.
"Really," Blaise said disbelievingly, "How is it Draco's fault that you annoy him?"
"Oh shut up Blaise."
"Ha, I am right!"
Hermione hit him on the head, and they laughed.
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Hermione slipped into the seventh year girl's dorm. She just had to know.
She opened the lid of the trunk; at the bottom buried under clothes, was the book. She cast a 'reavealo' charm on it, and smiled.
Daphne had kept it!
This was great! She now had enough information to confront her.
"Hey Daphne," Hermione dragged her into an empty classroom. She held up the book, "What's this?"
Daphne's face visibly paled. "Um, it's some trash I got anonymously over break; lots of purebloods get that stuff." She looked nervous.
"But most purebloods don't keep them," Hermione pointed out.
"Wait a second," Daphne said suspiciously, "How'd you know I had it?"
"I…" but Hermione was at a loss for words.
"Well, we have Mandy Beausoleil caught red-handed. The only way you could've found it is if you knew it was there. You sent this to me."
Rather than lie or defend herself Hermione held up her hands, "Look, my hands aren't red."
"It's an expression," Daphne snapped.
"A MUGGLE expression," Hermione smirked.
"Oh whatever, you already know I'm a traitor, but the real question is what you plan to do with the information." Daphne stared at Mandy expecting her to tell her she was doomed and that the Dark Lord would have her blood.
"Relax; I plan on helping you, on one condition."
Daphne sighed, "What is it?" She didn't want to do Mandy a favor, not after this, but she knew that the Dark Lord didn't take kindly to those who sought to betray him.
"Do exactly what I say, if you do, you'll be safe."
"Okay then, what do I need to do?" she agreed.
"Take this note to Luna Lovegood, she's a Ravenclaw, she'll recognize my handwriting. She'll get you to a Gryffindor or the Order which will find a way to protect you. Tell your parents that you'll be staying at school over Easter Break and then we'll set my plan into motion."
"Okay, I've got that, but what favor do you want me to do for you?" she asked, eyeing her cautiously.
"Don't tell anyone I helped you and keep your betrayal a secret until break, I'm not kidding," Hermione half-pleaded, "If you don't do those, I'll turn you into the Dark Lord."
"Got it, and thanks," Daphne gave her a hug, her mind trying to figure out what was going on.
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"Guess what?" Draco smirked.
"What?" Hermione asked suspiciously, "Oh, and then I have news."
"Yeah, they captured Luna to make her father stop lying in his newspaper."
"What?!?!"
"You heard me, now what did you want to say?"
"Oh, nothing," she said, running her fingers through her hair distractedly.
"Okay," he walked away, giving her a strange look.
Dammit, she though angrily. And she wasn't angry at Draco, she was angry with herself. She had been about to tell him about Daphne, she was so excited. But he would have told the Dark Lord! She had been far too friendly with him and far too trusting.
She pushed Draco out of her thoughts; she had more important things to deal with. She didn't know how to help Daphne now. What was she going to do now that Luna was gone?
Hehe, yeah.
If you're wondering who JuliaRoger140 is, she's a girl that left a really nasty review: You and Dramione96 are friends, right? Ok, well lemme break to both of ya'll.
You. Both. Suck. REALLY BAD. No, wait, I take that back. You suck, but not as
much as your stupid friend, Dramione96 over there, with her retarded story. At
least you're stupid with a purpose. That other girl's story stinks so bad, I
wouldn't be surprised if there were flies hovering around her computer screen.
I've already reviewed her, in case you're curious. So you can go check out
what I wrote. (I didnt write down everything i felt. If i did, she would
commit suicide tonight) So, yeah, whatever. Tell her to get lost. She's not
worth the time, nor is her story. Have a nice life, amazingtofu. See ya.
So it sorta pissed me off, besides she got it wrong, Dramione96's story had a point, mine only sorta does and yeah, i'm trying to be stupid... i can take criticism so this was kinda funny, but i wanted revenge XD
yeah anyways:
hobosshinypenny: thanks so much for your review!
edwardslily: thanks, i'll send you a message eventually, i just keep getting sidetracked and forgetting
lk-hogwartsheadgirl: thanks!!!
voldyismyfahter: yeah, hermione definitely isn't very gloomy :)
Dramione96: yeah thanks for all your great ideas, they is very amusing!!!
angel jjk: thanks :)
focid 360: yeah chapter 9 was me taking up space with some silly stuff before they got back to school, although i enjoyed it (of course I did i wrote it!) anyways, thanks for the encouraging review!!
And, one must always give credit where credit is due: Dramione96 gave me the idea for the flame thrower and the laxatives.... :) hehe
let me know in a review, private message, or email ( at yahoo . com) if you have any ideas you'd like to see in the story!