A/N: Exams. They are not very recommendable. Five hours a day, four days a week, two weeks long. I can't really move my hand all that well anymore. So, you may excuse my slightly longer breaks between updates.

Thanks again for all your reviews! They brighten up my days and my long working nights...

Chapter 10 – I Will Hold You

Harry wondered why his cupboard was rocking. He fought his way through layers of sleep and noticed something else that was strange. His head was resting on a pillow. A not very soft but warm pillow. Harry opened his eyes and blinked through his slightly lopsided glasses. He looked at a pair of fairly long legs in tattered pants and bare feet, that were really dirty and a little bloody. And lots of brown jute bags. Harry frowned. Then it all came back to him. Sirius. His uncle. Their flight and the freight train.

Harry closed his eyes again, trying not to move. He didn't want to think, didn't want to worry. He just wanted to stay like this. He was lying with his head in Sirius lap and he now felt the weight of the older wizards hand on his shoulder as well. It felt really good. For a second Harry had before his eyes, the vivid picture of the mother and son, he had watched feeding birds in the park a few days ago. Harry had never been hugged or touched in any even remotely loving way. Resting his head on Sirius thigh felt almost too bold. But he wanted to stay like this so very much. He wanted to believe that he was safe here. He wanted to pretend that someone loved him for just a little longer. So he tried to stay very still and not wake the wizard.

After a few minutes of quite indulgence, Sirius suddenly twitched and Harry heard a choked moan. He froze, expecting to be pushed aside. But instead Sirius started to shift a little and mumbled something. It was so faint, that Harry almost didn't catch it.

„No. No please... don't..."

Sirius stiffened underneath him and there was something like a sob.

„...hurts... please stop...No! Please!... Father!"

The last words were almost shouted out, and Sirius shot up with a start, looking wildly around him.

Harry had retreated from his former position and knelt next to him, looking at him fearfully and probably without realising it clenching Sirius dirty robes in his small fists.

„Did you have a bad dream?" Harry whispered. And Sirius looked down at him, somewhat startled, as if he hadn't seen that Harry was there until now.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and gave Harry a shaky smile. „Yes." He said softly.

„I have them too." Harry whispered like he was afraid, that someone would overhear them. „What was yours about?"

„I... can't remember." Sirius mumbled, looking away.

Harry cocked his head a little in a way that reminded Sirius strangely enough of Remus. „You called for your dad!"

Sirius frowned at him and Harry bit his lip, trying to look anywhere else than at Sirius. He didn't know why he had said that. Why had he said that? Now Sirius was angry with him.

But Sirius just sighed and closed his eyes. „He was not a very nice man." He stated.

„Did he beat you..." Harry whispered, still not looking at Sirius.

But Sirius looked at Harry, pain in his eyes. Not so much for himself. His wounds were old, he'd borne them for a long time and had almost got used to them. But Harry was still so young. He was so vulnerable, and he'd been alone for all those years. Maybe he needed to know, that he wasn't. That he'd never really been. Quietly Sirius reached out and stroked over Harry's dark tussled hair. His voice was soft when he answered.

„Yes."

Harry looked up at him then, eyes full of torment and despair. „Was it because you are a freak?"

Sirius shook his head, not taking his eyes from Harry's. „It wasn't because I'm a wizard. They... my parents... were wizards too. But I was still different from them, and they hated me for it. They told me I was an embarrassment and a failure. I never really understood it, but I believed them. I believed I deserved what they did to me. They weren't nice people, Harry. Like your aunt and uncle. People often are mean to others who are different. But it's not our fault. You have done nothing to deserve what your aunt and uncle did, Harry. You are not a freak. They are the bad people. They are wrong ...not us. Do you understand that?"

Harry nodded and ducked his head. It would take more than that to erase seven years at the Dursleys, that Sirius knew. After all he hadn't believed John Potter at first either.

***

When the train arrived at its approximated destination it was still early morning. Sirius got up from his hunched position, groaning as his bones and muscles complained. His shoulder had started to bleed again, when he had fought with Vernon Dursley yesterday and was now in pure agony. It was a good thing he had been trained to live with agony his whole life. He scuffled towards the sliding door of the waggon and peeked out through the gap between two of the planks. He couldn't see much, besides an overcast sky and more freight waggons. He had no idea where they were, but they had to get out of here, before somebody started to unload.

He beckoned Harry towards him, and slowly slid the door open. There was no one in sight. Sirius jumped out of the waggon, only wincing slightly when his bruised feet hit the ground. He then turned to Harry and held up his arms to help him down as well. After another quick glance around Sirius crouched down in front of his godson.

„Okay, Harry. I'll have to transform again, okay? I am too easily recognized as a human, and they won't look for a small boy and his dog." He reached inside his pockets and pulled out some muggle paper money. „Here, take that. We'll have to find us some breakfast, and I won't be able to pay." He gave Harry a grin that would probably have frightened him, if he had still seen him as the fierce and rough stranger he had met only days ago. „Oh, and keep your hood up! The Aurors might already be looking for you." And with that he turned into a shaggy black dog.

„What are Aurors?" Harry asked, but Sirius was once more a dog and just cocked his head at him. Then he got up, wagged his tail once and nudged Harry's arm.

„Okay. Just lead the way."

The small boy and his big black dog stumbled along the tracks, past waiting freight trains and abandoned waggons towards the unknown city.

-

They found a Coffee Shop that was already open and Harry tried to understand Sirius instructions about what to buy while he was a dog. Sirius had stopped in front of the muffins, so Harry had told the sales girl he wanted a muffin. The dog gave a small bark and wagged his tail against Harry's leg.

„Ehm... two muffins." Another bark and three more hits with the tail. „I mean three muffins..." The same reaction. „Or I think I'd like... six muffins?" This time the dog stayed quiet and Harry gave a small sigh of relief.

The girl looked at him strangely and asked what kind of muffins he'd like. Harry looked at Sirius, but the dog just cocked his head and didn't oblige. In the end Harry bought chocolate, blueberry and banana-nut, because he didn't know what Sirius would prefer and they all looked good. He also bought six different sandwiches and two bottles of water. After that the dog seemed satisfied and the girl behind the counter stared at Harry like he was crazy.

The dog gave a wheezing sound that almost sounded like a laugh. Harry's head was bright red and he didn't dare to look the girl in the eye when he gave her the money for their food.

When they were back out on the street. The dog grabbed Harry's sleeve with his teeth and pulled him in a deserted back street. When Harry raised his eyes from his shoes he looked in the grey-blue eyes of Sirius, the wizard. The eyes looked concerned.

„What's wrong?" He asked.

„Nothing..." Harry mumbled. „I... I guess I'm just stupid. I didn't know what you wanted."

Sirius crouched down in front of Harry and took him by his shoulders. „Harry. You are not stupid. I am the stupid one. I should have told you before I transformed, what you should buy. Although I have to admit it was kind of funny, we were probably the weirdest customers that poor girl had seen in a while..." He chuckled.

Harry looked at him astonished. „You...you thought it was funny?"

Sirius frowned. „Well, yeah... didn't you?" When Harry didn't answer immediately Sirius winced. „I'm sorry Harry, I guess it was a little embarrassing for you. I should have really discussed with you what to buy before we went in there. I apologize."

If possible Harry's eyes grew even wider. „You ap-...?" He looked at Sirius confused. „A-aren't you mad?" he whispered.

Now it was Sirius turn to look confused. „Why would I be mad?"

„Because I didn't know what you wanted and I didn't do it right..." Harry mumbled not looking at Sirius.

It was an instinctive reaction, and Sirius had no idea if it was the right thing to do, but he pulled the boy towards him and hugged him. „You did perfect, Harry." He said. „You understood what I meant, even though I couldn't really tell you. And there was no way you could have known what I wanted without me telling you, was there? I'm not mad at you. I wouldn't be mad at you, even if you hadn't understood me. It wouldn't have been your fault."

At first Harry stiffened, but then he snuggled against his godfather. He was confused and somehow overwhelmed. Sirius was hugging him! He almost didn't hear what he was saying. „Uncle Vernon always said I should know what they want. He said I was stupid for not knowing." He mumbled at Sirius chest.

„Yeah, well... your uncle is a stupid git." Sirius said, trying to sound casual while he again regretted that he hadn't hurt Vernon Dursley even more. Much, much more. But then he felt Harry smile against him and he didn't think about Uncle Vernon anymore. He was just really happy, that Harry was with him.

***

„Hello? Is that the police? I have your number from the newspaper. I just wanted to report something. I think I have seen that escaped convict... yeah, here in Manchester. I'm working at the freight yard, and I think I've seen him there with a little boy... So, do I get a reward or something?"

***

In the Ministry of magic a purple telephone was ringing. It was the only telephone in the whole building and it stood on the desk of Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of the Auror office.

The middle-aged man behind the desk was often said to look rather like a lion. He had a mane of tawny hair and keen yellowish eyes behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. He held himself with a somewhat rangy grace and gave the immediate impression of shrewd intelligence and toughness.

At the ringing of the purple phone he raised one of his bushy eyebrows.

The purple muggle construction, rang only on one occasion. If there was a notification from the muggle police chief, concerning a matter that was subject to the jurisdiction of the magical community. Since the co-operation strategy of the Auror office and the muggle police was mainly to ignore each other this was a rather rare occurrence. But in the last few days the purple phone had rung more often, than in all his years on the job combined. Then of course it wasn't every day that the public enemy number one escaped from his high security cell.

Scrimgeour picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. „Yes?" He asked.

„He has been sighted. Manchester. In the freight yard. With a little boy."

„Thank you."

***

After a while Sirius pulled back from his godson and looked at him searchingly. „Alright? Let's get back to the freight yard. I think it's still a good place to hide, and we might be able to catch a train in the right direction."

From the signs in the streets, Sirius had reasoned, that they had to be in Manchester. It was a city he never really been to before, but it was on their way to what he had decided would be their destination.

„Where are we going?" Harry asked with a shy look at Sirius.

„Further north." Sirius answered. Then he smiled. „I haven't been there since I was around your age, but if it's anything like I remember, you'll like it."

TBC

A/N: I know, more angst. Please don't be mad. If every thing would just dissolve in complacence, there would be no story, and then were would you be? Just trust me. I love a happy ending too ;-)

So feed the muse and give me a review! Pretty please?