Author's Notes: Just a warning,Thorin doesn't come off very well in this chapter.

As always, plz feed your local writer with reviews. We don't own the Hobbit and we aren't getting paid, we live on your love and reviews!

Khuzdul words:

Nadad = brother.

EDITED AND RELOADED FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR.

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Chapter 10:

Hymn for the Missing

You took it with you when you left

These scars are just a trace

Now it wanders lost and wounded

This heart that I misplaced

- Hymn for the Missing by Red

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"YOU DID WHAT?!" Fili roared, his face contorted in an expression of pure rage, his hands balled into fists at his side. His body was shaking with anger, setting his braids swinging as he fought for control. It took all of his willpower not to launch himself at his uncle, King Under the Mountain or no.

"You heard me." Thorin's voice was low and dark, his anger carefully controlled. But his eyes sparkled dangerously, like hard chips of obsidian. Kili looked back and forth helplessly between his brother and uncle, unsure how to defuse the rapidly escalating situation. In truth he understood his elder brother's reaction, and would be behaving in much the same way if he was in Fili's place. But he was uncertain how to keep this exchange from ending in blows.

"YOU DECEIVED ME!" Fili continued to bellow. "YOU HAD NO RIGHT!"

"I had every right!" Thorin's voice was dangerous, his deep baritone carrying an implicit threat. "And let me remind you that she more than cooperated. In fact it was her idea. SHE came to ME."

"YOU DROVE HER TO IT!" The volume of Fili's voice raised even louder. "YOU NEVER TRIED TO MAKE HER FEEL WELCOME! YOU ALWAYS MADE IT CLEAR YOU DISAPPROVED OF HER BEING WITH ME!"

Thorin lost any semblance of control then and his voice raised drastically. "If her love is so fickle as to be so EASILY turned away from you, then she doesn't DESERVE your devotion in the first place! And why should I make her feel welcome? She is MANFOLK! They don't understand loyalty like we do! Most likely she FUCKED that jumped-up bargeman her first night away from the Mountain!"

Kili knew his brother well enough to see the attack coming before their uncle did, saw the subtle change in his posture, but he didn't act fast enough. Fili leapt, a wordless bellow of fury and emotional pain ripping from his lungs as his balled fists collided with Thorin's jaw. The force of the blows, combined with the suddenness of the attack from his nephew, caught the older warrior off-guard enough that he was knocked backwards into the wooden table. But Thorin reacted immediately, punching back with a growl, attempting to knee Fili in the groin, which he blocked. The two Dwarves both tumbled to the stone ground, still struggling against the other. Kili silently thanked Mahal that they were in their Uncle's royal chambers and not a more public area of Erebor as he rushed to pull Fili from Thorin.

"NO! Kee, let me go!" Fili was still punching and kicking the air as Kili hauled him off of the wrathful Dwarf King.

"No! Fili, your wounds!" Fili was still healing from the serious blow that Azog had dealt him at the Battle of Five Armies, and this struggle couldn't be good for him. Kili tightened his hold on his brother's waist.

"I don't care!"

"Look what she's done to you." Thorin said coldly. He had resumed standing again. A few bruises were starting to form around his mouth, and he would have a black eye tomorrow. Right now, he regarded his sisterson with an haughty look of cool detachment that only enraged Fili more. "She's weakened you, nephew." Fili thrashed harder against Kili's hold in response.

"That's not helping!" Kili snapped. In truth the entire situation had Kili completely on edge and unnerved. He was usually the hothead and Fili normally played the voice of reason. He had never seen his brother so unhinged and he feared what Fili might do to Thorin if he slipped from his grasp.

There was a knock at the door, and before any of the Line of Durin could say anything, it opened. In strode Balin and Dwalin. Thankfully, Balin had the presence of mind to quickly shut the door behind him. But for a few heartbeats after that task was completed the sons of Fundin both looked back and forth between their King, standing with his arms crossed and glowering at his nephews, and the slim archer struggling to hold back his older, larger brother, who seemed to have bloody murder shining in his eyes.

"Dwalin, help!" Kili cried. The spell finally broken, Dwalin did so, hurrying to take the furious prince from his younger brother. The Captain of the Guard clamped his massive arms around Fili, holding him nearly immobile.

"Dwalin, I ORDER you to let me go!" Fili howled, attempting to fight Dwalin as he had Kili, but it was noticeably less effective against the much larger, muscle-bound Dwarf.

"It's no use lad, you may as well give it up." Fili fought for a while longer, before finally stilling, sagging against the bald Dwarf. He continued to glare daggers at Thorin. Thorin glared right back. For a while all that was heard was the crackling of the fire in the fireplace.

"So, it's as bad as we've heard, then." the white-bearded adviser was the one to break the stony silence that had descended on the five Dwarves.

"He sent Moira away!" Fili snarled.

"My nephew is acting a fool over a human child he should have never been involved with in the first place!" Thorin snapped back.

"Uncle, that's not fair," Kili protested. "Moira saved all of us at the Battle of Ravenhill. She's honorable and just."

"She may have saved you and your brother. She did not save me." Thorin's tone was icy and left no room for protest or challenge.

"Alright, whatever she did or didn't do, that's enough of that." Balin stepped in between feuding kin and looked Fili in the eyes, "Laddie, if Dwalin here lets you go, can we trust you not to go right for Thorin's throat?"

"He won't if he knows what's good for him." was growled from behind the old adviser. Balin ignored Thorin's posturing and focused all his attention on the angry, heartbroken young Dwarf still held fast by Dwalin. "Laddie, I need your word."

Fili was still glaring at Thorin, but his gaze softened when he looked at the oldest member of the Company he had traveled with to retake their ancestral homeland. "You have it."

Dwalin finally let him go, cautiously, ready to grab hold of him again if he had to.

Fili stood, feet set wide apart, his battle-ready stance a challenge to his uncle. "I want to know why."

"Isn't it obvious? You're my heir. You cannot be pledged to a human."

Fili bristled at the implication. "I will NOT marry another."

Balin stepped in before Thorin could make the situation worse, shooting his friend and king a look. "No one is asking you to, laddie." He addressed the blonde prince kindly.

"Not yet." Balin sighed. Thorin just had to push it. "Now that she's gone, you can get over your little … infatuation with her."

Thorin almost staggered backwards at the absolute hatred in the glare his nephew cast at him then, but controlled his reaction, staring placidly back, working to project calm, like a king should. Neither of his sistersons had ever looked at him like that. That kind of hatred was reserved for the likes of Azog, or for those damned pointy-eared immortals, but never for him. Instead of responding, Fili pivoted and stormed out, slamming the door behind him, making the occupants of the room jump at the loudness of the sound. Kili cast the other four a helpless glance before following hot on the heels of his beloved brother.

"Well done," Dwalin grunted.

"Do ya think the lass ran away because the lads' mother is so close to getting back to the Mountain?" Balin mused after the princes had left.

"Who can say?" Thorin picked up some papers that had been knocked to the floor during the scuffle with Fili and placed them back on the table, ignoring his trusted adviser and his sworn shield.

Balin shot his king another sharp look. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Right." Dwalin snorted, crossing his arms. "I've seen that look on your face before."

"What did you tell the poor lass about Dis?"

Thorin sighed.

"What does it matter now? She's gone. It's done." His tone left no room for argument, and the King Under the Mountain turned his back on his friends. After a few moments of stony silence, the Sons of Fundin quickly left, shaking their heads.

~000~

The brothers sat in Kili's chambers. The room was hewn from rough stone but richly and beautifully adorned in the Dwarven style, as befitted a Prince of Durin. It was elegant, but not in the Elven way of impracticality; every single thing in the room had a purpose and was richly decorated. At the moment it was lit only by the gigantic fireplace that dominated the room.

After Fili had stormed out, he had proceeded to find his way to the nearest ale cask and begin drowning his sorrows and anger in the dark, foamy liquid. While Kili would normally be completely for a good drinking and brawling session and jump in with both feet to join his brother in busting heads, in this situation he knew that drink would only make things worse. It had taken all of his brother's persuading to get Fili up here. Now they sat in front of the large, ornately carved fireplace, casting its warmth and glow around the room, as they sat in comfortable, high-backed chairs and smoked, trying vainly to relax. Fili's initial righteous fury had finally calmed to a slower, simmering anger. Kili knew he was nowhere near forgiving Thorin, but he was far less likely to try to beat the tar out of their uncle and King now.

"He's so mad about you being in love with a woman of Men. Can you imagine what he would do if he knew about me and Tauriel?"

Fili couldn't help the lopsided smile that started to tug one side of his mouth upwards. "Maybe you should tell him. You know, get the heat off of me and Moira for a while."

"You wish!"

The brothers laughed for a moment before becoming glum once more.

"You know, it's only been a week," Kili started. "She probably hasn't gotten too far. You could try to find her."

"Bard said she didn't say where she was going."

"Do you believe him?"

"Aye." There was a dangerous gleam in Fili's eyes as he said that. "I'm quite certain he wasn't lying. And if I did find her, what then? I can't bring her back against her will. And if I convinced her, and she returned …" His voice trailed off.

"You're afraid of how Thorin will treat her? For changing her mind?"

"Not just Thorin. With all the gossip swirling around both Erebor and Dale, the chance of her feeling accepted just dropped drastically. She was always more comfortable in the wild than in cities anyway, around so many people."

Kili had no idea what to say to that. He knew it was true.

"Besides," the blonde prince continued, "I'll not tell Uncle Thorin this, but I'm afraid I'm just as much to blame for driving her away as he is."

Kili was incredulous. "I don't believe that!"

Fili shook his head, sending his blond mane of hair flying. "No, I'm afraid it's true." He said grimly. "I was neglectful. I was so wrapped up in my duties as Thorin's heir that I failed to pay attention to her needs. I was so busy that I didn't see how uncomfortable she was here, that she wasn't fitting in, that she felt alone."

"That's not your fault." Kili protested. "She could have spoken up."

"She's my One, and I couldn't see that she was drowning. She needed me and I wasn't there. That is entirely my fault." Fili sighed. "There are things you don't know about her, Kili, about her past. Things that have happened to her that still haunt her. I should have helped her more."

"Like what?" Kili asked curiously.

"I cannot tell you. I gave my oath."

Kili made an unhappy sound. He was entirely at a loss of how to comfort his elder brother. He didn't like the feeling.

"In truth I think she is running from her past as much as from the Mountain and from Thorin. She has such nightmares, Nadad." Fili sighed and rubbed his eyes, looking so much older than his 82 years. "She speaks strange languages in her sleep, the like of which I have never heard, moans and screams as if in the worst agony, and if I try to wake her, she fights me like a wild animal. She will not tell me what she dreams of. And since the quest ended, they have been getting steadily worse."

"Why did you not tell me this?"

"What could you have done? It was my responsibly to protect and care for her."

"Oin could have made her a sleeping drought ..."

"I suggested that. She didn't want the questions. After a few more weeks of nightmares, I told Oin I was the one having nightmares. That I was dreaming of the battle, and of Azog."

Kili nodded. It was a believable story. No one would question it.

"They didn't work."

Kili's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"I do not know. Perhaps because she's human, and Oin thought he was brewing a potion for a Dwarf."

They were quiet again for a while, staring into the fire. Kili was starting to feel drowsy from the large amount of strong Dwarven ale he'd imbibed before he had convinced Fili to join him in his room. His brother had uncharacteristically told him that if he wasn't going to drink with him, he could leave. Kili had been unwilling to abandon his brother in his heartbreak, so he had no choice but to chug along with him until Fili tired of the game.

"I should not have yelled at her."

"What?" Kili started.

"That day she snuck away to the woods, and you were wounded helping her fight off Orcs. As soon as we were alone, I yelled at her." Shame filled Fili's voice. "I was so mad with worry for you, little brother. I was too harsh with her. I made her cry, Kili. I made my One cry."

Kili hadn't known about that. "Fee, stop it, you're torturing yourself." Kili's plea came out in almost a whine. He couldn't stand to see his brother like this.

"Nadad?"

"Yes, Fee?"

"I don't want to go back to my chambers tonight." Fili's voice sounded hollow. Kili understood. They may have been princes, but they were born in exile. They had very little growing up in the Blue Mountains, and had shared a room for most of their childhood. They had always been together, their entire lives, inseparable. First in Ered Luin, and then on the quest. It had been hard for Kili to adjust to having his own chambers after reclaiming the Lonely Mountain (giving an ironic twist to its name). Fili had not had that problem; he had almost immediately started sharing his chambers with his little human Ranger after reclaiming Erebor. That meant he had never really slept alone.

"You can sleep on the couch, Fee. You're always welcome."

"Thank you, Nadad."

That night Kili lay in bed thinking about his brother and the woman he had come to regard almost as a sister, and wondering about the nature of inter-species relationships. That naturally led his thoughts to Tauriel, and what his flame-haired beauty had given up to come to his rescue in Laketown, what she continued to give up in order to be with him. He resolved that the next time he saw her, he would make sure that she knew just how very grateful he was, and just how much she meant to him.

~000~

Three Years Later ….

Fili sighed, rubbing his eyes as he pulled his attention from the never-ending pile of paperwork in front of him. The duties of a prince were never done. Fili sat back in his chair, staring into the heart of the flame of the single candle that sat on his desk. Absentmindedly he fingered the Moljnir-engraved bead he still wore at the end of his braids, despite Thorin's protests, and thought about the events of the last three years.

If one good thing had come from Moira being sent away, it was that it eventually cleared a path for his brother to be with Tauriel. Dis had arrived at the Mountain a few weeks after that fateful hunting trip, expecting to meet her eldest son's beloved. Gossip spreads like wildfire, after all, and word had reached her ears that the golden Prince of Erebor was in love with a human Ranger and even sharing his chambers with her, as if they were already man and wife. Instead she found a depressed Fili, a angry Thorin, and a Kili who just didn't know how to fix it. Thorin had expected that with the human gone, eventually Fili would move on and find a find young Darrowdam to lavish his affections on. Thorin had never believed that Mahal would ordain for a Prince of Durin's One to be of Manfolk, after all. But as the months had passed and Fili's depression showed no sign of waning, Thorin had began to worry he had made the wrong decision, although he would tell that to no one. Fili continued to perform all his duties as the Crown Prince admirably, but there was no joy in his eyes or mirth in his voice anymore. After two years even Thorin had to admit that he had been wrong, that Moira had been no mere dalliance. That she had indeed been Fili's One. By then it was too late, she was lost in the wilds of Middle-Earth somewhere.

Having seen the change in her eldest son that came from being deprived of his One, when Kili was discovered sneaking off to meet Tauriel, Dis became the strongest supporter of their love. She had matched Thorin in every screaming match, decibel for decibel, even throwing a nearby ax at the flustered King during one particularly heated argument. The fact that he dodged it so well clearly showed that this wasn't the first time she had done that, although Fili only remembered actually seeing her this angry at her brother a couple of times. It turned out that the King Under the Mountain was no match for his sister, and he crumbled under her female wrath, finally allowing Tauriel not only entrance to the Mountain but a place in their family. Now, Tauriel wore her own dwarven courtship braids, a truly unique sight. Human-Dwarf couplings were rare, but not unheard of. Their race was 70% male, after all, and some of the Dwarf settlements that had closer ties to Manfolk ended up with some of the Dwarven males marrying human women. But for a Dwarf and an ELF to fall in love, well, that had never happened in the entire history of Middle-Earth.

Thorin still grumbled and griped about neither of his heirs being Dwarf enough to fall for one of their own, but he would be quickly silenced by a glare from his formidable sister, and sometimes a comment that Thorin was still young enough to find a Darrowdam and sire more princes if he was really bothered so much. Fili was grateful for his mother's support of Kili and Tauriel's relationship. He had no wish for history to repeat itself. His greatest fear was that Tauriel would feel unwelcome and give up, leaving Kili a broken shell, to suffer as he had. Fili didn't want that for his brother. Kili deserved all the love and happiness that the Valar wished to bestow on him, even if it came packaged in the form of a She-Elf.

Fili still distrusted Elves. But in his mind, Tauriel wasn't an Elf. She was the woman his brother loved. That was enough for him. Sometimes she became exasperated that he had come to accept her but still carried a distrust for her kin, but that was never going to change. Accepting her as 'not-really-an-Elf' was the best he could do. And really, she should be grateful I can even do that, Fili mused. Fili still carried a particular burning hatred for her former King, for what Thraundril had threatened to do to Moira while they were imprisoned in the Woodland Realm's cells. Even if it had been a (mostly) empty threat, Fili would never forget it.

Then again, Tauriel's kin had never forgiven her. While the Elves in Rivendell were more forgiving, the Mirkwood Elves wanted nothing to do with her for the crime of loving a Dwarf. Tauriel was no longer an Elf in their eyes, either. She was an exile. It was the other Elves' hatred for her, along with her devotion to their younger prince, that had led to most of the Dwarves' grudging tolerance (if not true acceptance) of her presence in their halls.

Every day, Fili wondered where Moira was, if she was safe, if she was happy. She had likely returned to her life as a Ranger when she left. Although she was a skilled fighter, a Ranger's life was always fraught with danger. When a trader or wanderer from the West or the North came to Dale or Erebor, Fili made special care to listen to their reports for any clue of Moira's whereabouts, or if she was even alive. Fili had even had Nori send some of his spy network to try to find some sign of her. Nothing. Some days he feared the worst. Some days he was sure that she was just deep in the wild, in the solitude she treasured. Most days he just missed her.

Most of all, he wondered if Moira had moved on from him, if she now loved another. He knew that Menfolk did not love as Dwarves did, that they could fall in love many times, and even with more than one person at a time. The letter she had left in their chambers (he still thought of them as 'their' chambers) had been rife with those assumptions. "You'll fall in love again," the letter had promised him. "It'll hurt for a while, but you will get over me. You'll forget about me. You'll find some honorable Darrowdam that can give you true sons, and you'll be happy."

She didn't understand. It was his fault, too, for not explaining it to her. He had never realized the vast chasm of cultural difference between them. He had assumed that because Vikings told stories about Dwarves that he didn't need to. He had never explained what a "One" was, and what it meant. It had never occurred to him that he would need to. Because Dwarves only married once, there was an assumption among the Men of Middle-Earth that Dwarves were only sexual with their One, but that wasn't true. Many a barmaid at many an inn had learned that. Dwarves were a lusty race and had many dalliances before finding their love, and many Dwarves never did find their One. But if they did, then that was it for them. They would never again be with another, even for a night. All their heart and soul and body would eternally long for was their other half, as Mahal had forged them to be. If for some reason they couldn't be with their One, they would rather be alone than with another.

Maybe if he had told her this, if he had explained better, she wouldn't have left.

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You took it with you when you left

These scars are just a trace

Now it wanders lost and wounded

This heart that I misplaced

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Where are you now? Are you lost?

Will I find you again?

Are you alone? Are you afraid?

Are you searching for me?

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Why did you go? I had to stay

Now I'm reaching for you

Will you wait? Will you wait?

Will I see you again?

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Author's Notes: Man, Fili is such a good-hearted Dwarf! It was kind of hard to write this chapter and put him through such torment, but I'll bring them back together eventually, I swear! So, could the nightmares getting worse be a sign of what Elrond warned Gandalf about? :: waggles eyebrows ::

Also, I don't know how long it would actually take for Dis to travel from the Blue Mountains to the Lonely Mountain, but the first chapter of this fic was about three months after Erebor is reclaimed (Durin's Day is near or on the first day of autumn and this fic started around, say, Novemberish, if they have the same months as us in Middle-Earth, which I'm not sure about). So for reasons of writing I'm saying it takes three-four months to travel from Ered Luin to Erebor. Because obviously I'm assuming she leaves as soon as she hears that Erebor has been reclaimed.