In a dimly lit room, a boy with a large, white hairdo was sitting in front of a monitor. In the room was a large vanity mirror with bulbs lining it, and a desk with little wooden models of familiar people-and a familiar shack.
Wrrr! Wrrr! The monitor screen repeatedly rewound, showing footage from the Gravity Central Metro. In there was the town kook, Old Man McGucket. The boy didn't know why, but there was something he was missing about this tape-no, this geezer. He went a bit forward and froze it to see the girl he loved, walking down the subway, and her brother in tow.
"Oh, Mabel, if only he wasn't in the way." He pulled out an unmarked journal and flipped through it. As usual, he was searching for something to make her love him, and as usual he found nothing. But he knew that there had to be a way, and the only way to find that is to find the one who knows the secrets of this town, and the magic within.
"It's time. Time to unlock the journal's greatest secret."
The boy set the book down to reveal a picture of a triangular being, with a single eye. He lit 8 candles surrounding the book.
"Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium!", he chanted.
Everything turned grey as his eyes glowed. Then, in a flash of light, a triangle was seemingly cut out of reality, and an eye opens in the center. It becomes yellow, it grows a bow tie, a hat and limbs.
"Well, well, well! If it isn't my favorite ventriloquist dummies! How you doing, Gideon?"
The boy looked up in shock. "Wh-what are you!?"
"Oh, that's right" The triangle said. "You Mortals experience things past, present, and then future. So I'm Bill, Bill Cipher. And I already know who you are! Hey, you want to see something cool?" Bill threw his hands up, causing the flames of the candles to suddenly burst up, and parted to reveal a demonic-looking deer without teeth.
"BREEEAAANGHH!", It brayed. Gideon screamed in horror as Bill sent the apparition back into the flames.
Catching his breath, he said, "Enough games, Demon! I need you to enter the mind of Fiddleford McGucket!"
Bill was intrigued. "Hmm. Alright, kid, but why?"
"He's the author of the journals! Isn't he!?"
The demon chuckled a bit.
"Ahaha! Yeah, sure, of course he is. I know the author, you see. See, he's even drawn a portrait of me!" He pointed at the picture in the journal. Before the young boy could voice his impatience, Bill asked him,
"So I'm guessing you want me to find the stuff in the journals while I'm in there? I bet pine tree would give you a look in his if you asked nice!" He looked pointedly at the still monitor.
The boy's eyes widened at the screen. "There are other journals!? And he has one!?"
"Of course, kid!" The demon snapped his fingers, and a large number 2 appeared on the cover of the book. "You didn't really think all the town's secrets could be recorded in one book, did you?"
"How many are there!?" He became flustered, and kicked over his chair. "How many does Dipper have!? I demand you tell me!"
"Relax, Gideon, we can get theirs later. But for now I say we pay the 'author' a visit!
-GOLF-
In the Mystery Shop, it was slower than usual. Of course, no one really wants to wake up on a Saturday morning. Stan Pines was pacing the shop floor, observing the various items for sale.
He picked up a jar of green fluid, opened it and took a sniff.
"Ugh! Yeesh, this is bad. Maybe I can market it as Listerine…" He put it back on its shelf and called out, "Kids! Get down here!"
Upstairs, his grand niece and nephew were awoken in a bit of confusion.
The twins went downstairs, rubbing their eyes as they went.
"Grunkle Stan, what is this about?"
"Is the FBI here?"
"No, no! I just need you to do something for me.", Stan said. They looked at each other. Whenever Stan asked them to do something for them, it was never good-or legal.
"So you see, the shop's items are getting kind of old. Whatever's not rotting in a jar is rusting away. And I think the customers are recognizing the keychains are made of parts of their cars."
Dipper looked at him. "So what do you want us to do about it?"
"Go find something, I don't know. This town's probably got a bunch of stuff layin' around that people aren't using. Rings, musical instruments, baseball cards. Doesn't have to be a lost item."
"Ooh, it'll be like a treasure hunt! I want to go find a gold tooth!" Mabel pipped ecstatically.
"That's the spirit! Ah, I remember when I was your age. It was simpler back then. Before, you could steal whatever you wanted from a convenience store and run out without a hitch. Now they've got all these security measure and whatnot."
"Grunkle Stan, Why don't you just go find some stuff on your own?"
"Because I said so. Now go before I turn you two into pawn items!" With that, they set off.
-LIMA-
Dipper was walking down the main street of Gravity Central, his sister right behind. They had been looking for something to put up in the shop, but had no luck so far. As they walked, Mabel spun around and hummed.
"Hmm hm hhmm, wandering in the streets, looking for treasure."
"I told you Mabel, we're not looking for treasure, we just need pawn items. And get back on the sidewalk or you'll get run over." He pulled her out of traffic just as a car zoomed by. The pair continued on for a while until they stopped at the Gravity Central Mall. They headed inside, looking for some potential valuables or victims to swindle.
Dipper thought of their options for a second.
"So I'm thinking we could go to Edgy on purpose and take some retail outfits, or some hair spray. That way we can have spray paint and clothing dye in one."
"Got it", Mabel replied. "Maybe we could split up, so we can hit some more shops."
"Good idea. We'll meet back here in twenty minutes." They separated, Mabel going to the gothic clothing store while Dipper went towards the Overalls are cool now. He went inside, and began switching around the price tags on the denim outfits. The plan was to put them at a lower price, and while the cashier was confused as to why they were cheaper than usual, he would make a break for it. This was a trick that was (unsurprisingly) taught to him by his Grunkle Stan. The preteen finished up and stepped in line at the counter. He looked at the clothes he was carrying in disdain.
"Geez, who would ever want to wear this? Not sure if it's even worth lifting."
"Dipper?" A voice came up behind him. He turned around and-of course. It was Wendy. She was standing there, holding a stack of denim and flannel with a curious expression. "Dude, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, uh, you know nothing, just buying some of these…" He grew flustered. "I mean, I don't have anything against it." He started sweating.
"Ok. Well, anyway, I'm just here getting some stuff for my family. You know I have to do this, like every week, right? My dad always ends up tearing through them when he's lifting weights."
"Oh yeah, I tear these tags when I'm lifting store items."
"What?" The cashier grew suddenly suspicious. "Hey, did you mess with those tags?" Dipper's mind completely stopped.
"Umm, well- I got to go!"
"Security!" He raced out of the store, flinging the clothes behind him. Without looking back, the young boy made his way down to the entrance to the mall. He had lost the guards, and also bumped straight into Mabel as he looked back.
"Ow! Dipper, Why are you running? And where are the clothes?"
"I lost them Mabel. I messed up when I met Wendy there and panicked. Oh man!" He sank down at his embarrassment.
"Oh." She could feel her brother's blunder, and it made her cringe. "Well, on the bright side, I got some cool stuff. You know they sell dark glitter? It's like being able to throw nighttime!" But she could see it wasn't cheering him up.
"Alright, bro-bro. How about we just go find some more stuff for the Mystery Shop? While we're out we can grab some nerd books or whatever." He looked up and smiled. "Yeah, all right. Let's go!" The twins left, and wandered town a little longer. They didn't find much, just a few some antique coins in the gutter, a spark plug, and a cassette tape.
"Oh hey!" Mabel looked at the tape. "It's a tape of Disco Girl by BABBA. I wonder who threw this out? Probably some weirdo getting his life straight."
"Yeah.", Dipper agreed. But he pocketed the tape when his sister wasn't looking. Thank you, whoever you are.
More aimless exploration eventually led them back to the mall.
"Ugh! Mabel, I think we've gone in a circle." Dipper started back towards the door.
"Wait! Who is that?" Mabel pulled her brother back.
"Knowing you, It's probably some monster boy…"
"No", She insisted. "Him." Over at the phone kiosk was a slightly portly bald man in a grey jumpsuit. He looked kind of like a technician, but only had a tape measure on his belt.
"Hey haven't we seen him before?", Dipper pointed out.
"Yeah, he does seems sorta familiar. Was he the plumber Grunkle Stan kidnapped to fix the outhouse of mystery?"
"No, we saw him a while back, remember? At the subway, but he just disappeared."
She hmmmed a second, and said, "Doesn't really matter, people just appear and reappear all the time. Let's steal his measuring tape."
"Oh yeah, that's right. Soos lost the last one measuring the depth of a bottomless pit."
He snuck up, staying low and reached for it as the mysterious man was talking to a salesman.
"-so I'm going through time, and I need to find him! Have you seen the person I have described?"
The salesman replied with "No, But have you seen this unlimited 4G for life plan? You can surf the web for all of time without extra fees!"
"Hmm, I may consider."
They swiped the tape measure off of him, and snuck out the mall's front entrance. Once they were in the clear, Dipper asked, "Now what do we do with it?"
"Ooh! We can measure my hair!" She waved her head around pointedly.
"I think it actually may be taller than you are"
"Hmmm." They extended the tape, and laid it against her hair. "Ok, Your hair is officially…" he retracted the tape, and it snapped into place. At that moment, the world stopped. The tape measure glowed, birds flapped their wings in reverse, speech became gibberish.
Time sped backwards, and in a flash the entire world changed.
"-just shorter than you. Wait, what happened?" The mall was gone. They were in an empty lot, and the street in front was littered in carts and wooden wagons. All around, people were wearing dresses and suits, and talking like old man McGucket. The twins look at each other in shock.
"Mabel. I think this tape measure… is a time machine! And we're in pioneer times!"
-OSCAR-
"Ok, we have to make sure not to touch anything. Got that Mabel?
"You mean when are we?" Dipper gave her a look. "What"
"Oh, I thought you were going to say-"
"No."
"Ok."
Suddenly a young Toby Determined jumped out wearing a fool's outfit and said, "Hey there whippersnappers! Now, Aren't those strange garments for eighteen forty-two !"
"What?" Mabel reeled back, very sure one of those words were swears.
"Hold on." Dipper led them out and saw- a street filled with old automobiles, candy shops with taffy in barrels and a familiar convenience store. "Thank goodness. It's just pioneer day."
"Alright. Well, we better get back before we do something really bad, it still looks really old-timey here." But before Dipper could send them back, Mabel grabbed his arm. "Dipper, look!"
She pointed past the crowd to a broad, large eared man.
"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper put his hand over his sister's mouth.
"Shhh! We're in the past, remember? We can't talk to him." He appeared to be talking to some of the townsfolk, and the twins ducked as he turned around.
"Something looks weird about him", Mabel pointed out. "Like his chin, I think."
"Whatever. Let's just get out of here." Dipper pulled the tape measure out, and they were off in an instant. When they got back, something was a little different.
"Huh? I thought we were outside of the mall." Dipper was already walking.
"Where are you going?" She followed.
"Look, Mabel. I don't know about you, but I'm going to use this opportunity to go make a good impression on Wendy. Right now we are at the exact moment we came into the mall today for the first time. Why don't you get the items, I am going to make sure everything goes right this time."
They split up, and soon Dipper was in the Overalls are Cool Now. He got the clothes and switched the tags expertly, and waited patiently in line. In a bit of a stilted voice, he said
"Wow, Country clothes are just awesome. I'm going to buy these."
"Dipper? Dude, what are you doing here?" Right on cue, Wendy was there.
"Oh hey Wendy, What's up?"
"Not much. I got to get new clothes every week cause my dad tears them lifting weights."
She's right here. You're doing great. Think of something.
"Let me guess, He thinks they're a pile of wood."
She laughed.
"Yeah, pretty much!"
Yes!
He paid for the clothes without a hitch, and got to the bottom before Mabel did. She arrived with an even larger bag of goodies.
"So how did it go?", Mabel asked.
He beamed."It was awesome! I didn't mess up, I got her to laugh, exited cooly. Pretty much my best interaction so far."
"Cool. I got some extra dark glitter and some glow-in-the-dark slap bracelets."
"Great. Now how about we go get some more stuff for the Mystery Shop?"
As Dipper started off to continue the day, Mabel suddenly stepped in front of him.
"Ah! Don't do that, Mabel, I could have bumped into you!"
"Sorry." She paused a moment before deciding, "Dipper, now that you fixed your thing, there's something I want to fix up too."
He immediately grew wary. "Mabel, we can't do too much with the past. Otherwise we risk altering it for the worse!"
"But you got to fix your mistake!"
"Mabel, no!" She made a wild grab at the tape measure, but missed. She ran him down, and took off with it. Dipper chased after her, weaving between various kiosks and booths.
"Mabel, Stop!" But it was already too late. The tape activated right as he caught her, and time once again was thrown backwards.
Oh no. where could we end up? Does she want to fix a date? That time she sprayed paint in her eyes?
When Dipper opened his eyes, he saw… lockers. And they were big. So were the water fountains, as well as the doors. He knew immediately where they were: Boring, Oregon, in second grade.
"I have to find Mabel." He looked around the hall until picking the door at the end. When he burst through, he saw several other children in chairs, lining up in front of a camera. It was picture day.
Mabel was up next, and had slap bracelets lining her entire arms and body, a few glowing. He worked his way towards her, awkwardly wriggling his way through.
"Next!" The photographer motioned for her to come up, but right before she could a girl walking by stuck her gum in his sister's hair. But she was expecting that. She took off a well-crafted wig, and bound her real hair in pigtails with more slap bracelets. Mabel went onto the platform and posed for her picture, and Dipper took her aside when the photographer was asking if she wanted to get the pictures on a Christmas card.
"Mabel, do you have any idea what you've done?"
"Relax, bro-bro. Can't be any worse than whatever you've done.
He winced. "Ok, but Mabel-"
"No! All I want is to have a good picture! And see? Nothing happened."
Right then one of the camera bulbs burst. Huge amounts of film rolled out of the side.
"Oh no!", the photographer exclaimed. "Little miss, your glowing bracelets overloaded the camera!" The device burst into flames, setting everything-including Mabel's hair-on fire.
"Aaah!" Children everywhere screamed.
"You see Mabel? This is what happens when you mess around with time!"
"No, I just need to try again!" She pushed him away and pulled out the tape measure, setting them back. And again Dipper found Mabel take off the gum-covered wig and this time, the glowing bracelets. But when the picture was taken, the slap bracelets snapped up like bear traps, whipping around at the other kids and cutting them up. And again she tried, however it only ended up with the camera firing off a light so bright all the kids were blinded. Dipper quickly snatched the time machine from Mabel, but before he could measure out exactly where they wanted to go, it started getting hot. It bounced around, and the pair began zipping through time, years, days, millennia, too fast to see. But eventually they returned to the present. When they landed, Mabel was still fighting to get the tape measure.
"Mabel, It's over! Give it up!" They both stopped.
"Look, I'm sorry, but it's obvious how that timeline plays out. I don't think there's anything that we can do." Dejectedly, she moped off, dumping her head into the fountain.
"Hey, Mabel." He picked his sister's head out of the water and made her look at him. "Do you remember how that day played out?"
"I don't want to remember."
"Come on.", He urged.
She sighed. "When we got to school. I had like, a million slap bracelets on and a new hairdo. And that jerk girl put gum in my hair right before I went up."
"And?" She was confused at first, but slowly started to see where he was going with this. "And then you… you came and was like, 'Hey, Mabel I have a razor'. And then you- you shaved your head!" She started laughing. "And I shaved my head, and we got an awesome picture."
"Yeah, so it worked itself out, right?"
"Yeah, I guess it did." She stood up. But their recollection was cut short by a "Hey!"
Dipper whipped around. The Overalls are cool now cashier was standing there, fuming-and Wendy was next to him. The man had several pairs of ripped overalls in his hands.
"You! You destroyed my store!"
"What?" He was bewildered. Wendy offered an explanation. "So I told my dad your joke, and he thought that overalls are actually wood, and started wrecking this dude's store."
"So I guess It's all over", Mabel said. "You know, like overalls?"
"I'll be taking those." He took the overalls Dipper was holding and stormed off, as Wendy left with her father. "And I guess that's my timeline correcting itself." He sat down.
"Cheer up, Dipper. Things will work itself out. She put a slap bracelet on his wrist, and they smiled. Again, though, they were interrupted. "You two!"
"Oh, jeez who is it now?" Mabel helped dipper up. The janitor/technician guy stomped his way over, and pointed at them. "You! Do you have any idea what you've done with this!?" He grabbed the tape measure from Dipper and shoved it into his belt. "I'm asking, I-I wasn't there for any of it."
"Well, uh we just-"
"Nothing!"
"Look at this!" he pulled out a digital wristwatch. "I have been recording all kinds of time anomalies! Hairspray in the era of Visigoths, which are now just goths! and slap bracelets in the future! And Illegal slap bracelets in the future!"
"Illegal?"
"Y-yeah, them and muskets are illegal in the future!" they exchanged confused looks.
"Look! You two have caused me enough trouble so far, and-and nearly destroyed the universe! Again!"
"Dude, what are you talking about?", Dipper stepped back.
"Yeah, we don't even know you!". He got even more flustered.
"What!? I'm Blendin! Blendin Blendamin Blanjin!" I'm a time traveler? The they shook their heads, not knowing at all what he was talking about.
"Well, either way you two are coming with me!" He grabbed them both against their protests, but the tape measure started wriggling. "Wha-?" It shook violently, and in a bright flash, he was gone.
"Where did he go?" Mabel asked.
"I don't know, but I'm sure he's alright. Let's just go home.
-WHISKEY-
At the Shop, They unloaded their day's haul, exhausted.
"Huh", Grunkle Stan remarked. "You kids actually did pretty good. Maybe I should send you two out more often!" Groans from his grandniece and nephew said otherwise, so he retired to his lounge with the items to sort them out. But just when the twins reached the stairs, a bell rang as a visitor stepped inside.
"We're not open today, just leave your money next to the register!" Grunkle Stan's voice called.
The man shuffled in, sporting a white beard, mechanic's garb and a terrified expression.
He quickly shut the door and his eyes darted back and forth anxiously, as though all the pawn shop products were a bomb to be lit.
Dipper squinted. "Old man McGucket?"
"What are you doing here?" Mabel added.
"Fellers, I need help. I have a demon… and he's in my mind."
G avkzzungavax hoo uyqa g ycnslz daxoj... hfh pnpb dk hoo hffjko pu mwcs-oy-hdk-oonq nvastqwrd, va od bkc... EVA NFAWT ECNIS
Co-Author here. Not sure if you can tell, but I wrote this one. This is the first part of the season one finale, so get ready! Not really much else to say, we should start uploading a little more regularly.