Prim, my Mom and I talked for awhile. They didn't dare mention what happened to me for some reason, though it was perfectly fine if they did. I actually wanted someone to talk to about this. I didn't want to keep it in. But maybe that's what Finnick was for.
I had some tea, and then set off to leave. I hugged my Mom and Prim, and then walked out the door.
I wasn't sure what to do next. Practice was at 12:00 pm, and when I checked my watch, it was only 10:00. Then I decide that I want to go on the rooftops again. The place where Finnick and I shared our first real kiss. Maybe that would make me at least somewhat happy.
I walk up the stairs again and walk over to the balcony, looking out at the view with the cool wind blowing my hair.
I hear footsteps behind me, and my stomach gets a bit fluttery. I think it's Finnick, but I turn around and see that I'm wrong. It's Gale, and he's smiling slightly at me.
"Hi," I say, forcing a smile. I'm glad to see Gale, because I haven't really gotten to spend much time with him lately, but it's just hard to smile these days.
"Hey," he says, and walks over to stand by me. He joins me and looks out at the view as well, the blue sky, filled with Mockingjays flying around above us.
My hand is on the balcony handle, and he puts his hand on top of mine slowly. I don't pull away, I just sigh.
"We're going to the Capitol in three days.." he says, his voice shaky.
He's stating the obvious. Yes, I know that we're going to the Capitol. Yes, I know that some of us are going to die.
"I know," I say flatly.
He gets quiet, as if he knows that he's offended me or said something wrong.
He suddenly grabs my arm gently, and turns me around so that now I'm facing him.
"Are you okay?" he asks flatly.
I find this a bit rude that he would ask me this.
"What do you think?" I say more coldly then I intended.
"Sorry, Katniss.. I just don't feel like we even talk anymore," he says.
I stay silent for a bit.
"I'm sorry," I say suddenly.
He sighs, and cups my face lightly with his hands, looking into my eyes. I feel a bit uncomfortable as his hand traces the bruises on my neck.
"I can't believe he would do that to you.." he says.
I stay silent, a bit aggravated that he's bringing this up again. I obviously don't want to talk about it.
I just nod though, trying to avoid eye contact with him.
"I've missed you," he says, changing the subject.
I look at him and smile just a bit. It's comforting to have him here again and to talk to him, despite what he just said.
"I've missed you too," I say.
He looks at me for a moment, but then presses his lips against mine, kissing me softly.
I'm shocked for a minute, but then put my hand on his chest, pushing him away gently.
"No Gale.." I say quietly, my lips separating from his.
"What's the problem, Catnip?" He says with obvious anger and hurt in his voice.
"I'm not in a good place right now to be starting relationships," I lie.
"Right.. and that's why you're sleeping around with guys right?" he says coldly.
"I haven't slept with anyone, for your information!" I yell, shocked that he would say this.
"Well, that's not what Johanna told me," he says.
"And you're just going to believe everything she says, are you now?"
He looks at me and shrugs.
"It's not hard to believe really," he says.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I say, pushing him so that he stumbles back a bit. "You're such an idiot, Gale."
"I'll just leave then," he says, rolling his eyes and walking away and down the stairs.
I have no idea what that was about. Maybe he just doesn't handle being rejected well, but now I'm angry. I'm not having sex with guys at the moment. That's the least of my worries, actually. It shocks me that Gale would actually believe something like that.
I sigh, and walk downstairs again, heading to my room again, when someone catches my eye. It's Annie.
Her black hair is messy, and she's wearing a green dress. She has bruises on her legs and arms, and she's eating silently at the lunch table, humming to herself and twitching occasionally. It's the first I've seen of her in awhile actually. She looks unhappy with bags under her eyes. I decide to not talk to her, because guiltiness suddenly overcomes me. She may not be sane enough to be with Finnick, but I still took him away from her in a way.
I look for Finnick as I head down the hallways, but I don't see him. I get to my room, and outside my door I see him.
Finnick, smiling a gentle smile at me.
"Hey," I say.
"Hey.. I thought maybe.. if you wanted to sleep alone or.." he looks nervous.
"You're wondering if I wanted to sleep with you tonight?" I ask, blushing when I realize how those words sound. I didn't mean it like that though. And he doesn't either. He means just holding me while I try to fight off nightmares and such.
"No.. I mean.. Yeah," he says, taking my hand.
We look at each other for a moment, and then walk quietly into my room.