Some notes on this one. I have been writing a story for the Destiel Harlequin Challenge on Tumblr. It is taking much more time than originally anticipated, so I may have to take a bit of a hiatis on this for a couple of weeks. Don't worry! I am not leaving, just taking a break so I can get that one finished before the deadline. If you want to see the tags, summary, teaser and even a trailer for that fic (coming July 14th!) you can see all that on my tumblr page at osirisapollo . tumblr . com

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Dean had been incredibly worried about how Sam would react to the newly discovered facet of his sexuality. He'd read multiple horror stories of how families reacted to people coming out. He'd prepared himself for the worst.

All his anxiety had turned out to be in vain. Sam hadn't just accepted him, but had apparently already known before Dean had even gotten the chance to tell him. Sam's lack of surprise was unexpected, but it had made the entire conversation much easier. There was much less explaining to do than Dean had originally planned for. Especially after Sam had revealed that he already knew Dean's affection for their neighbor, specifically.

Plus, Sam was being incredibly supportive about everything he threw at him. On the days Dean would decide he wanted to go for it, Sam was encouraging and happy for him. On the days that he'd say he just wanted to go back to ignoring that whole side of his sexuality, Sam would tell him that it was probably unhealthy, but if that was what he wanted Sam wouldn't argue. It was taking away a lot of Dean's concerns, but others creeped in their place, of course.

At least he'd started working full time at the shop. He hated the idea of Sam working for the summer, but he couldn't deny he was much happier at his new job.

It wasn't quite the same as being in South Dakota with Bobby, but it was pretty close. Ken was everything Dean had expected when he signed on, and the shop was picking up business left and right. Dean didn't say anything, but he thought they were probably stealing customers from that bigger shop down the street. He knew from experience that the guy down there liked to gouge people for their money, and his asshole attitude certainly wasn't helping any.

Dean would have liked to say that things were falling nicely into place. He was finally at a job he could enjoy, and Sam had reacted to his news better than he could have ever hoped. He would have liked to say that his life was becoming more peaceful. Dean didn't really like to lie, though, so he couldn't.

It turned out, coming to terms with his sexuality was surprisingly easy, when compared to coming to terms with being the awkward dork he'd become since then.

It had been bad enough when he hadn't actually known why he acted so differently around Castiel. He could chalk it up to general weirdness. The reasons why he felt uncomfortable after he threw the other man an odd little wave as they passed each other were suddenly becoming clear.

When he talked to Castiel, he was a blushing stuttering mess, like he hadn't been since middle school. Before he'd known how he felt, he was just a little weird around the guy. Ever since he'd figured himself out, it was like he no longer had control over his own body anymore, and it was just embarrassing.

It didn't help that Sam had said he already knew how Dean felt about Cas. It had seemed like a good break at the time, but afterward he couldn't stop thinking that he must have been giving off signs, and the more he analyzed his actions the more foolish he seemed to act.

The worst part was that through all of this he still didn't even know what he was going to do about it. He couldn't decide if he wanted to go after Castiel, or just leave it alone.

Just because he liked someone, it didn't mean he had to do anything about it. Maybe he did want accept this new part of himself, but it didn't mean that he had to ask out the first dude he looked at twice.

Or the guy he thought about in the shower, or whatever. Actually, his shower thoughts probably weren't helping him act like a normal person around the man.

Even if he did decide he wanted to do something about it, how was he even supposed to know if the other man was interested? If it had been a girl, Dean would have just shot her his most winning smile, and made a few flirty comments. If she responded well, he would go from there. If she shot him down, he would move on.

It felt different with Castiel, though. It felt as if it was more important, somehow. Not that his usual cheesy lines were likely to work on the man, anyway. He didn't seem like the type that would respond to cheap flattery. Leaving aside the fact that Castiel already knew him too well for bar flirting not to seem completely out of place.

Sam had said he believed that Castiel was interested, which was actually a pretty good sign. His brother had sussed out Dean's interest before he'd gotten around to admitting it, so it was pretty fair to say that he might see some of the same signs in Castiel. He'd even insinuated that Gabriel believed there were indicators as well.

It didn't feel like enough. It seemed like a rather large decision to put on hearsay from their brothers. If Dean was going to pursue this thing, he was going to have to wait for a sign from Castiel himself.

At least he had Charlie. She would probably understand better than anyone else. She'd known she preferred woman for a while, but he figured she'd probably had a freak out at some point. She could be a valuable asset.

Dean knew that calling her was going to be a mixed blessing, though. She was surely going to be very supportive, and have some great advice, but she was also fairly likely to tease him for a good while, too. That's what best friends were for, after all.

When he finally gathered the courage to call her, he found he couldn't even bring himself to segue into the subject with some small talk first. As soon as she picked up the phone, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I might be a little gay."

Charlie squealed on the other end of the line, unperturbed by his lack of manners. Dean had to pull the phone away from his ear so he wouldn't lose his hearing.

"I knew it!" While the squealing had been expected, that comment was not.

"Seriously?" He asked, disbelieving.

"Well, I suspected." She conceded.

"How the hell did everyone know before me?" He sounded exhausted, and he felt it, too. But seriously, how did everyone know already? Was he that obvious?

"Who else knew?" She sounded jealous, as if she thought she hadn't been the first one he'd called.

"Sam." He said it plainly. They both knew that Sam was number one in Dean's book, no matter what.

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense. So, he really knew already?" She seemed intrigued, like she couldn't believe it either.

"Yeah. It's starting to weird me out that everyone knew before I could tell them." He sounded sulky, but he couldn't help it.

"I just don't think you were ready to acknowledge it." He could hear the shrug in her voice. "So, what changed?"

"Well...there's this guy…" He started and was quickly interrupted by another squeal. He was beginning to regret the decision to call.

"I should have never told you." He said, grumpily.

"No, no, no! I'll calm down. Sorry." She sounded sincere, but he could hear her fidgeting on the other end of the line. He didn't care if she was really calm, as long as she wasn't screeching in his ear.

"Tell me all about him!" Her voice betrayed her excitement.

He paused a minute to think, but he couldn't come up with anything to tell her. "I don't really know what to say. He's not like anyone we know."

Charlie was quiet for a minute, probably trying to find a way around Dean's inability to communicate. "Well, out of all the people we know, who is he most like?"

That was an interesting way to look at it, but he honestly couldn't think of anyone they both knew that was anything like Castiel. The closest he could come up with was… nope. Not going there. Dean cringed.

"I don't think I want to answer that question."

"Because he's most like Sam?" She answered automatically. God he hated his best friend.

"What? No! Don't be gross." He did his best not to protest too much. That would only confirm her suspicions.

He could hear her sigh on the other end of the line. "It's not gross, dude. It actually makes a lot of sense. You guys didn't really have parents to influence your thoughts about a perfect partner. If I had to guess, this guy is probably a cross between Sam and Bobby."

Dean only had to think for a moment before he realized that was mostly true. Castiel was a smart, nerdy, homebody like Sam; and he was grumpy, resourceful, and sensible like Bobby. Crap. The thought was highly disturbing.

"I will never be able to get that image out of my mind now, thank you." He replied, petulantly.

He could hear the grin in her voice. "Well at least you got the lucky side of it. Sam is probably going to end up with someone like you. The poor guy!"

It took a second for that comment to sink in. "Hey! I'm awesome!" He protested.

She laughed at that, but let it slide without comment.

"So, you got your first crush. That's cute."

"You know what? I don't even know why I called you."

She laughed even harder at that, and he couldn't really blame her. Who else would he have called?

"But, seriously. What are you gunna do about it?" She asked, when she'd had a second to calm down.

Dean sighed. That was the question, wasn't it? Sam had asked him the same thing, and he'd been thinking of nothing else. He still didn't have an answer. "I don't know. Some days I think I want to pursue it, and others… I just don't know if it's a good idea."

"Well, what's the problem?"

"I don't know! I've never had so much trouble deciding whether or not to ask someone out before!" He knew she'd be able to hear the frustration in his tone, so he didn't bother to voice it.

"So this guy…" She trailed off, he answered her question before she could ask it.

"Cas."

"Cas?"

He knew that was a weird name, but the guy's real name wasn't much better. "Well, his name is Castiel. He's named after an angel. I usually just call him Cas."

"An angel, huh?" She sounded amused again, and he rolled his eyes.

"I knew you wouldn't let that one slide."

"So, does he look like an angel too? All blonde haired and blue eyed? Does he have a benevolent smile?"

Dean couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him at that. "Not even close. He always looks deadly serious, like it's the end of the world. He's got dark hair that's always a mess, and freaking stubble every day. He does have blue eyes, though."

"Alright, so not at all what I was picturing." She sounded surprised, and he allowed her some time to paint herself a new picture of the man they were talking about. It was a short lived reprieve from her questions.

"You're friends with this guy?" She asked, eventually.

"Yeah." He didn't really know what that had to do with anything.

"Well, I can make a guess why this is so difficult for you."

He hadn't really given her any information, so he was actually intrigued by that. "Alright, I'll bite."

"Dean, you've only ever been with people you've just met. You've always just walked up to beautiful women and asked them out. I can't remember the last time you went out with someone you already knew."

"What does that have to do with anything? At least with Cas I know that we'll get along."

"Yes, but you've never had to risk a friendship before. It's hard deciding if asking someone out is worth maybe losing a friend."

Was that what his problem was? He hadn't really thought about it in those terms before, but it made sense. Was he afraid he was going to mess everything up if he asked Cas out? That seemed like a logical place to start.

"Besides, you've never asked a guy out before, and you're probably scared of what will happen if he says yes."

"Yes, thank you. I definitely needed a recap. I'm not already freaking out enough."

"I'm not going to say anything else. I'm just going to say, it might be a good idea for you to do a little research."

"Research." It wasn't even a question. He could see where this was going, and he was not ready for that.

"Yes, research. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but if anything does happen between the two of you, it's best to be prepared. The internet is your friend."

"Okay! It was just lovely talking to you!" He tried to talk over her, but he still heard every word.

"Dean, I'm serious!"

"I can't wait to do it again!"

"Dean!"

"Bye!"

"Goddamnit... "

He could still hear her even as he pressed end call. He knew that wouldn't really be the end of it. She would probably text him all kinds of information that he didn't really want to know, as soon as she realized he'd hung up.

As if to prove the point, his phone buzzed in his hand. He sighed and ignored it. He'd look at it when he was ready. Right now he needed a break from the whole thing.

He headed into the kitchen to get himself a beer. He had every intention of sitting in front of the television for some mindless entertainment for the next few hours.

-oooo-

Just an FYI, this story will have some MA stuff that I can't post here. I'll post what I can, but some stuff will probably have to be omitted. This is also being posted over at AO3 under the same name and username. The full story will be posted over there. With all the porny details ^_^