A/N: I dedicate this chapter to my beautiful TruBloodFlan who loves reading my fics before I post them :) I go to school with her and we have science together, and we laugh and fuss and make my teacher real pissed off, but oh, it's so much fun. So thank you, beautiful, for being there for me. You're amazing 3

Chapter 10 proves to be a real struggle for me to write, actually. I've tried to squash a really depressing scene and a really smutty scene into the one in my head and I just don't see how it's gonna go. But maybe when I put it down on paper (or Word document) it might just be something. So... viola! Klisses .x

I sighed and pushed a stray curl behind Blaine's ear, and straightened the collar on his purple button-down. He smiled solemnly at me and ran his thumb over my cheekbone, drying the tear that fell there. I checked one more time in the mirror, pulled my bow-tie straight, and walked out the door with Blaine's hand in mine. My dad was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, arm-in-arm with Carole, who looked numb. Dad locked the door behind us as we walked out to get in the car. He got in the driver's seat, turned the engine on, and backed out of the drive.

We were all pretty silent, with Blaine's hand rubbing slow circles on my thigh while I tried my absolute hardest to keep the tears in. These next few hours would be hell.

When we arrived at the venue where Finn's funeral would be held, there were a few people pooled out the front. Quinn was there and Santana was rubbing her back, and she looked uncomfortable with a few tears running down her face herself. Brittany had finally caught on and looked really... stupid. And sad. Sam and Mike were standing by the door, staring into space, and there were a few adults standing with them. I recognised Finn's grandmother and grandfather, and my nan was there. Rachel, Tina, Artie, Mercedes and Mr Schue were all in a bunch, and Mercedes was sobbing. A few other people were there that I didn't know but when we got out of the car Carole went and greeted them, so I figured they must be family or something.

When Mercedes saw me she came running over, with Tina on her heels and Mr Schue pushing Artie behind them. Mr Schue took me into a hug when he got to me and I hugged him back. Mercedes got to me next, crushing my neck and blubbering something I couldn't understand, and then Tina hugged me and Artie gave me an uncomfortable smile. Puck and Lauren arrived in a blue Sedan, and came over to say hey. The blue car sped off, and there was a horrible smell of burnt rubber in the air.

"Kurt," Rachel said, walking over. I took Blaine's hand. Rachel looked at Blaine, and so did I – he looked sour.

"Kurt, I apologise for the other morning. I was out of hand and... Well, I'm sorry," she said, offering her arms for a hug. "Friends?"

"I'm really not in the mood, Rachel," I said, almost whispering. Blaine squeezed my hand lightly.

"I think we should just go inside," Blaine said, gesturing to the door. Rachel mashed her lips together in a hard line, and turned, flipping her hair. I sighed – I really was not in the mood for another Rachel Berry fit right now.

Xxxxxxx

I couldn't control the hysterical sobs that hit me when we walked out of the hall. Blaine took me aside and sat me down on a little park-bench type chair under a tree, and rubbed my back and hugged me as I let the sobs rack through my body. He dismissed Rachel as she came over to see what was going on and she made the same face as she did before, with her lips together in a hard line and a huge unattractive frown above her eyes.

"You're a real ass, you know that Blaine Anderson?" she suddenly yelled, clenching her hands into fists. My sadness was overcome by anger as I felt Blaine flinch. Despite his efforts to hold me down, I broke out of Blaine's grasp and stood up, stomping over to the now-alarmed Rachel.

"For just fifteen fucking minutes could you please make this day about someone other than you?" I screamed in her face, and she took a step back. Blaine stood up and tried to get me to look at him but I held my hand up. Tears were falling down my face and I was aware that people were watching us but I didn't care.

"Kurt," Rachel said. "I just wanted to see if you were okay, I-I didn't want to upset anyone, I just-"

"No?" I screamed. She flinched. "You didn't want to hurt anyone yet you come over here and abuse my boyfriend because he knows I don't want to talk to anybody right now?" Blaine tried to 'shh' me but I gave him a frantic look. Rachel put her hands up.

"Look Kurt, I'm sorry okay, it's just... this is really hard on me and-"

"Hard on you? Can you imagine how hard this is on me? On my family? You just don't get it, do you Rachel? Sometimes, just once or twice, you have to let someone else be the centre of attention. It is not your day, it is Finns and I will not just stand by and let you ruin it."

I ignored the tears streaming down her face as I yelled. And I would have kept going if Sam hadn't come over and grabbed Rachel's elbows and tugged her away. She looked over her shoulder at me.

"You're right," she said as she walked slowly, resisting against Sam's pull. "I'm sorry. Feel better soon, kay? See you at school." Her voice faltered on the last word and she broke free of Sam's hold and ran to the black car that had stopped on the side of the road a few minutes ago. A dark-skinned man got out of the driver's side and Rachel ran right into his arms, sobbing into his jacket. He rubbed her back and opened the back car door, and I saw there was another man in the passenger seat, with his body turned towards us and his eyes boring right into mine. I sobbed again and fell backwards into Blaine's embrace as the sleek car raced off. Mr Schue sighed and ran over to us. His eyes had red rims around them.

"What was that?" he asked. Blaine held his hand up.

"Please Mr Schue, it was just... you know Rachel, I mean..." Blaine seemed lost for words and I couldn't speak. Mr Schue nodded and clapped our shoulders, and jogged back over to Tina and Mike. They got in a Mr Schue's car and with a wave and a blown kiss from Tina, they drove off.

"I ruined it," I whispered. Blaine shook his head.

"No, no, no," he said, sitting us down on the park bench again. I still couldn't speak so instead I buried my head in Blaine's shoulder and screamed. He just rocked me until my dad came over and placed a hand on my back, and then I was in the car driving home with my head on Blaine's shoulder with Carole's arms wrapped around me in the backseat. Before long we were home and scrambling in the front door, and I felt so useless because I couldn't do anything but scream and be carried in by my boyfriend and my parents.

Blaine set me down on the lounge and I vaguely heard him over the sound of my sobs ask my dad if he could get me some water.

"No!" I screamed, clutching at the bottom of his shirt. "No. Stay with me!"

My dad put his hand on Blaine's arm and told him to stay with me. Carole disappeared into her bedroom.

Blaine sat down on the couch and curled himself protectively around me and mumbled, "I'm gonna be here for you, Kurt. I'm never saying goodbye to you."

Xxxxxxx

Later that night, after I'd cried all the moisture out of my body, my father was in his recliner and I was on the couch with Blaine. It was a really small little lounge but somehow we managed to fit. Dad didn't even care.

"You did great today, Kurt," my dad said. I shifted slightly and tried to focus on the TV. Blaine threaded his fingers through my hair lazily. My dad cleared his throat.

"No, I mean it," he pressed. I took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Thanks, dad. I don't want to talk about it," I said. He nodded. I stood up, and Blaine's eyes followed my face.

"I'm gonna go up to my room," I said. We had been given the OK to go back up there a few days ago but I preferred the couch with Blaine. But right now, I needed space.

"I'll come with you," Blaine said, standing up and twisting his hand through mine. I nodded once to my dad and made my way for the stairs.

I marched right up there like nothing was wrong, ignoring the charred frayed ends of carpet and the burnt pieces of balcony. Step by step, my chin rose higher. It had been much too long since Blaine and I had some time alone and I missed him. A lot.

"Kurt, what-" he began as I closed the door but I shushed him by pushing my lips to his, just lingering pecks. When he pulled away it was hard not to notice his dilated pupils and I know he wanted what I wanted but I also knew I was going to have to fight to get it.

"No, Kurt," he mumbled but I dragged us over to my bed anyway. This felt strange, since I hadn't been in this room for weeks, but I wasn't worrying about that right now. I just wanted Blaine.

"Kurt, no," he gasped as I pushed him down on the bed, doing my best to grind my thigh into his semi-hard erection. I began trailing kisses down his neck but he grabbed my shoulders and brought my face up to look at him.

"No."

I know it was childish but I stuck my bottom lip out a little, and pouted at him. He groaned and sucked that lip into his mouth, his hand cupping the back of my neck and pulling me closer. I moaned lightly into his mouth and he sighed and pulled away. I frowned.

"I didn't want you to stop," I said quietly. He put his hand on my cheek.

"Kurt, I want you. I want you, okay? I do. But I don't want to make any decisions that we'll regret. You're upset right now, and so am I. Your family's been through so much and I don't want to do anything to upset you." He bit his lip. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I hurt you."

I stared at him. Right now, all I wanted was something to distract my mind from things I wanted to be distracted from, and he was worried about hurting me? I shook my head and pressed forward to capture his lips with mine again. He leaned backwards onto the pillows and I straddled him, but he rolled us over so his clothed chest was pressing against mine. His tongue darted out over my bottom lip but as I parted them he pulled back and smiled adorably at me.

"Not tonight," he said, and gently rolled off. I whimpered and grasped for his hand, and he closed his fingers around mine but it had no feeling. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. He noticed, and his expression immediately changed. He looked torn.

"Kurt, don't so this to me," he whispered and I rolled over, so I was on top of him. I bent down to place a chaste kiss to the spot where his jaw bone met his neck and he shivered, pressing his fingers into the small of my back. He inched my shirt up my back but stopped, fingering the hem as I ran my tongue across his collarbone. He took a deep breath.

"Don't hold back," I whispered, and his fingers traced my spine lightly as I connected my mouth to his again. Our tongues became a battle for dominance, and we were both winning. I inched my shirt over my head, hardly breaking contact with his mouth, and began to pull his up. He sat up and helped me, and I ran my nails down his perfect chest while he pushed wet kisses down my jugular and across my collarbone.

"I'm going to hell," he mumbled against my chest before he took my nipple into his hot mouth. I gasped and threw my head back, toes curling, as his hand snaked down my stomach to the button of my jeans. He fingered it for a minute, before popping it open. He ran his tongue around my nipple and I had a hard time not moaning.

His teeth grazed the bud gently and I whimpered, tugging lightly at his hair because I knew he liked it. His hand came up and tweaked my other nipple, twisting and flicking in time with his tongue. It felt amazing but I wanted more.

"Please Blaine," I gasped, tugging at his hair again. He released his mouth, looking at me, before kissing a light line down my stomach, over my bellybutton and down my navel. His mouth stopped at the hem of my pants but his hands didn't, inching them down ever so lightly, briefs and all. I didn't miss the smiley grin he had on his face before his hot wet mouth enveloped my hardness and I arched my back up off the bed, clenching the sheets. I would have though seeing Blaine with his cheeks hollowed out sucking me off would be the sexiest sight in the world if I hadn't seen him naked.

"M-More..." I stuttered. He expertly ran his tongue from the base to the underside of the head, to the spot he knew made me see stars, and flicked his tongue gently along it. My eyes rolled back into my head and I roughly pushed my fingers through his curls, squeezing my hands together. This only made him go faster.

"I'm so – ahn – close..." I gasped. With a sly grin he ran his hand up my leg, up the inside of my thigh and his fingers found my balls, gently rubbing the skin there with padded guitar-playing fingers.

I thrust my hips up uncontrollably and when I felt my cock hit the back of his throat I came, keening and moaning his name. I felt so guilty because he endured it and swallowed, and although he never told me he didn't like that I still wasn't sure. He sat up, wiping the side of his mouth with the ball of his hand. He sighed.

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling the messy sheet over the bottom half of my body. He smiled wearily at me.

"Don't be. That was amazing, Kurt. I just hate myself for doing it." He rubbed his eye with his index finger and looked at my window, shifting uncomfortably. I noticed there was a rather un-small bulge in his pants.

"Why? I'm happy now. See?" I said, flashing him my best grin. He looked into my eyes then burst into a fit of giggles, climbing atop me and kissing my lips. I could taste myself on him and somehow, it made my member jump and stiffen slightly under the covers. Blaine gently brought his hips down and ground his hips against mine. He took a deep breath in and detached his mouth from mine, pressing hungry kisses down my jaw again. I shook my head and tried to sit up and he frowned but let me, and I straddled him, letting the sheet slip off so my half-hard dick was exposed again. I ran my fingers through his curls and let my forehead fall against his.

"Blaine, make love to me," I said, brushing my lips against his. His body went rigid for a split second while he contemplated this. After about ten seconds he relaxed and sighed.

"Only if you're 100% sure, Kurt," he said, staring into my eyes. I pushed my body closer to his.

"I'm sure, I love you," I said, grinding up against him. He moaned really softly under his breath and pushed me off gently, standing up to remove his pants. He snatched the bottle of lube and the small foil packet off my bedside table, and I turned over onto my stomach.

"No," he growled. I looked at him, and he placed the objects down on my bed, crawling on and flipping me over so I was on my back. His eyes looked full of lust. He looked... hot.

"I want to see your face," he said, and his voice had an edge to it that made all the blood rush to my groin. I nodded and he grabbed the lube, snapped the lid open and dripped a generous amount onto his fingertips. I bent my knees, giving him full access, and he ran his index finger over my perineum and across my crack a few times. I winced slightly when I felt him gently push his finger into me to the first knuckle, wiggling it a little bit. He waited until I nodded to continue, twisting his finger and whispering 'sorry' every time I gasped or winced. Before long the whole length of his finger was inside me and he began to gently thrust it back and forth. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain, and before long I was rocking back and forth onto his finger gasping, "More."

So he pushed another finger in, crooking them, searching. When I felt his fingers brush against my prostate I bucked, impaling myself onto his fingers even deeper. Fuck, I didn't even know if that was possible but obviously it was, because his two fingers were stroking that sensitive little spot and shit, it felt amazing.

"Bl- Fuck me," I whimpered, and he gently withdrew his fingers. I watched him rip open the packet and I had an idea.

"Are you clean?" I asked, and he looked at me incredulously. I felt my cheeks redden.

"I've only ever had sex with you, Kurt," he said and I bit my lip. I nodded towards the condom and shook my head. His eyes widened, but he dropped it and grabbed the bottle once again, pouring some onto his hand and stroking himself a few times. Then he brought the head of his dick down to my entrance and, with a deep breath from both of us, pushed in.

The pain came again and it was unpleasant but it wasn't something I craved, either. Once I was used to it, though, he pressed in the rest of the way. It was painful, I won't deny it, and it took my breath away for a second, but once I was used to him it was ecstacy. I realised I had my eyes squeezed shut and I opened them, only to find Blaine staring at my face intently.

"Okay?" he asked, and I nodded. Not breaking eye contact with me, he pulled back a little and pushed forward, repeating the action over and over until the pace was steady and we were both moaning. He pulled out almost all the way and grabbed my hips, angling slightly upwards and when he thrust back in he hit that little spot hard, so hard I had to grab a pillow and shove my face in it and bite down hard to stop from moaning loudly. He wrapped his hands around my achingly hard cock, finger by finger, and stroked up and down in time with his thrusts. He was beginning to jerk at random, and all the heat was rushing to my stomach, so I wrapped my legs around his backside and met his thrusts. After a few more strokes we came together, him moaning my name and I felt something hot spurt inside me. I cringed as I felt my come hit my stomach, but then I remembered there was such thing as a shower and it didn't matter anymore.

Blaine pulled out, panting hard. He set my hips down on the bed and trailed his finger down the middle of my stomach, catching some of the sticky liquid there and bringing it to his lips with a smile that made his eyes crinkle and his nose screw up. Basically, it was the most amazing thing in the world.

"Thanks," I mumbled, sitting up and grabbing a towel from my bedside table and wiping the mess off my front. I grabbed the sheets and pulled them up, my leg sticking out the side of my bed and Blaine crawled up next to me, settling himself into the curve of my back. He nuzzled the back of my neck and I hummed in contentment.

"I'm going to hell," he repeated, and I shivered because his breath was warm and delicious on my back. I shook my head sleepily.

"I love you," I mumbled.

A/N: Bet you weren't expecting THAT, huh? The smut in this chapter was written for my beautiful TrueBloodFlan because she's a horny motherfucker whom I love with all my heart. So review people, because you know how much it annoys you when people don't review your stories! Paws up!