Chapter Ten: You are my sunshine.

Author: Violetpastprime

Email: or All… Thanks for the reviews,

To An Aspiring Author: Yes, Gwen is ok… for now Remus will be mad, but well, he'll get the message.

To Call Me Green Eyes: Yeah, Remus Will freak. Cant quite tell you that though. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I'm sure you know anyway. But some secrets will be kept up just yet.

To Other Reviewers: Thanks

Have Fun with this one, its going to be rather, err fun to write. This might or might not be valentines day, I've been planning that chapter for a load of time now, actually since I started to writing the story. It will be err breaking though, the moral of other people. This is in Gwen's point of view once more…………………

Chapter The Tenth: Du Bist Mein Sonnenschein: You are my sunshine

February crept upon us quicker that January did, and in no time at all Valentines day had arrived with its crepe paper hearts and chocolate grams that the first years traded with each other. Sixth and seventh years would snog in hallways and emerge with rosy blushes upon their cheeks. White sheets of snow had permanently settled themselves upon the grounds for the winter, and regular snowball fights were staged daily with steaming cups of hot coco after. Gwen kept up her regular letters to her sister and mother, never knowing who received them, only knowing that they got sent. Serpius returned after a fashion, he'd been out to find a mouse or two for snack.

On the morning of Valentines day, I awoke to a frosty cold air. It was damp and crawled all the way down to my bones. I got dressed and slipped on an extra sweater, then fastened my cloak and pulled on my gloves. I walked down into the common room to find Lily and James each looking goofily into each others eyes. It was all mushy and lovely dopey. It made me chuckle and leave to find Phoebe. However I found her all coupled up with Remus who just beamed at her like a baboon with the most desirable banana in front of him. I just sighed and kept on walking to the desired place that was the great hall. I reached it without other distractions, I sat down near Sirius who was reading the daily prophet next to Peter Pettigrew. He looked up at me, gave a kind smile and continued on with his reading of the Daily Prophet.

Ten minutes later James and Lily came down and sat in the branch between us. James pulled a platter of eggs over to him and began to shovel some upon his plate. Lily was looking at him with an amiable expression on, he picked up his fork and started to cram his mouth with eggs and pieces of bacon. He then choked upon his food and spit it out onto the table. He was met with raucous bouts of howls and laughter. He smiled his perfect Potter smile and laughed with them. Lily gave him a pleasant pat upon the back and vanished the undigested food with her wand. Sirius jumped up and gave him a clap upon the back and roared with laughter.

"Happy Valentines Day Prongs." He giggled like a school girl. Then he dropped to one knee, pulled out a bundle of flowers from his pocket and handed them to James.

"Pads…" But Sirius cut him off.

"James, I've been waiting to tell you this for a while, But Prongs, I think I'm in love with you!" he gave a high pitch giggle and flicked his hair behind him.

"Sirius, What the hell?" James gave him a slightly amused look.

"Uhh, What's going on here?" came Remus's voice from behind me. He had Phoebe's hand in a tight hold, they both had amusingly confused looks upon their faces.

"Oi, Moony. Its my other love, Remus I love you. Wont you please be my valentine?" He jumped up and swung his arms around Remus's shoulders.

"Uh, Padfoot. Are you ok?" Remus sounded slightly worried.

"Of course I am. Now, lets you, me and James go and have a nice little naughty pow wow up in the dorm? What do you say?" He jumped up and down like a child wanting candy. It was getting harder at each second to contain my laughter. Phoebe and Lily were both looking on aghast, James and Remus with a dawned look of realization. And with that I got lost in a fit of loud giggles that the whole great hall turned to observe. I'd assumed that the scene look quite humorous, Sirius with his arms wrung around Remus while holding James hand.

"Uh Gwen? Are you ok?" It was Peter, he'd come up to the scene with a watery look in his eyes.

"Oh Peter. Of course." I laughed on last laugh and sighed. My friends were so humorous sometimes.

"Well, Gwen you know. I was just wondering, what do you say to a long walk upon the grounds?" Sirius had detached himself from Remus and James to walk over to me.

"Why?" I asked my cheerful charade lifting lightly.

"Well, I guess we could have a heart to heart? After all it is valentines day." He grinned at me. He could be such a goof sometimes, so animatedly funny, and that was why I loved him.

"Sure." I said with skepticism painfully in my voice.

"Cool. Um do you want to go now, or later?" he ran his hand through his hair.

"Now is good if you want?" I was a little bit curious to this however. Why was he being so, err weird about it.

"Wicked. Lets go!" He exclaimed at me. He jumped up grabbed my hand, gave a wave to the others and dragged me from the hall.

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We walked for a while, I pulled my cloak about me tight and watched the snow fall down upon our heads. His shiny elegant black hair was speckled with white flakes. He'd shake them out every few minutes and smile over at me. I just let the ones that I was sure were building up in my hair stay. We walked about the grounds in comfortable silence, enjoying the winter air around us, the air that was so dead and so full of life. Winter was when everything was asleep, when every thing was growing inside.

"Gwen, there is something I need to tell you." he spoke softly.

"Ok. I kind of thought that's what we were walking for." I replied with apprehension.

"Gwen, I've been… At first I really wanted to tell you. I knew you were grieving and I knew that, that was the only way for you to do so. I never thought that they would go to me. At first I thought they were for Moony, or James, Not me. But they came back every time, they came to me." He stopped and turned towards me.

"Sirius are you saying?"

"Yes Gwen." He cut me off. "I am. You see, I didn't want to lie to you, to betray you again. But you were hurt and I couldn't hurt you more."

"They… you…. Read… But?"

"Gwen, I am sorry. I know how hard this is for you, that you need to tell someone, you need to write to someone to keep their memory alive. But Gwen, if you keep them alive in you heart, they'll never go away." he took a step closer to me.

"But I?…" I was speechless, I knew they had to go to someone, but why him? Why the one person it killed me every day for hurting, the one person whom I loved and could have had.

"Gwen, I've told no one. I couldn't betray you again, I've already done that enough times. I care about you way too much to hurt you, not again." he raised his hand to my cheek and ran his hand down it.

"Sirius, I…" How could I tell him this. Tell him that I could never love him, or at least, love him, but him never knowing.

"Gwen, I cant take this anymore. I know you felt it, because I felt it too." he stopped and realized his words. He obviously didn't mean to tell me that, never wanted to let it slip.

"Look, I… Sirius, I'm just…"

"No. No more lies. I know everyone you've ever loved has left you. I know he has taken them, but you cant spend you entire life living in that sadness. You have to live, they would have wanted that, they would have needed you to. Don't through it away." He put his hands upon my shoulders.

"I don't know what to do. How could I know?" tears were starting to leak from my eyes. He was being so thoughtful, so right, so unbelievably understanding that it killed me.

"Gwen, there is only one thing for you to do, let me in. I can help you, I want to. Gwen I need to." he pulled his arms tight around my shoulders. There was only enough room for me to look up at his handsome face, the face of the man I loved, and knew that I had to hurt again.

"Look… I don't.." I tried to get the words out, but I was cut off by his warm lips crushing upon mine.

I tried to break away, tried with all the strength in me to shove him away. But I couldn't, I just physically and mentally couldn't. I fell into the kiss, became wrapped up in it, so tightly wound around it that I didn't even realize the tears that streamed down my hot cheeks. He kissed them away as a new wave of them washed down after. He kissed those away too, with tenderness and all that could only be love. He hugged me to his chest and let me empty my tears. And after a while they too receded, all that was left were to people, so in love with the other that all else seemed to disappear.

"Gwen, I love you and I will fight you for you." he made me look up into his slate blue eyes.

"I don't want to loose you. Not you too." another tear skipped down my cheek.

"How could that ever happen. I wouldn't let it." he kissed the last tear that I vowed to shed for that day away.

"You think my Mother or Sister wanted him to kill them. They had no choice." I stammered.

"But I wont let that happen."

"Or what if another Skeeter came up, and left me for her?"

"I wouldn't do that, not again!"

"What if you leave me just as my Father left my Mother?"

"I wouldn't."

"And how in the world would I know that? You've already did that to me once!" I backed out of his arms.

"I have already hurt you one to many times Gwen, I'm not going to do it again, I promise." his eyes held truth, he wasn't lying.

"Promise?" I squeaked.

"Yes Gwen, I promise, I swear I do. I want you and only you. I want to bring you up, I want to love you." he was sincere. Only a fool would refuse, only a fool would run away. But they always did say that fools fell in love, and I was the biggest one of all, I'd been running all of these years that I knew I loved him. He stepped forward once again and grabbed me in his arms. He placed a kiss sealing our souls upon my forehead, it was so amazing to me. We started to walk about the snow covered grounds again hands linked tight, as if, if we ever let go, we would never find the other again.

Unbeknownst to us, two pairs of eyes had watched the whole thing.

"Skeeter?" James whispered quietly to Lily sitting beside him.

"She did hate her starting in fifth year. How come they never told us?" Lily whispered back at him.

"He hated her about that time too, always ran from Skeeter."

"Well, its finally been done. Give in two days and the whole school will know." Lily gave a small discrete laugh.

"Some Valentines day huh?" he swung his arm around his girlfriend.

"You bet love, you bet." and with that they left the bush they'd been hiding in to go up into the warm confines of the Castle.

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Yay!! Chapter ten up! Sorry it took so long, I've been away at band camp playing my Mr. Sexyphone, aka my tenor sax! Well hope you liked, any feed back?