A/N: Here is the next installment TFA. 3 HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

"Are you feeling better?" Jasper asked, true concern showing behind his eyes.

I nodded, "Rose came and helped me feel better."

Rose snorted in surprise beside me, but said nothing. I wasn't ready to shatter the illusion that I was innocence personified, not just yet. I would tell them, but I needed time to sort through my emotions first. Truth be told I was still a mess, I didn't want them to see that.

"You okay, Rosie?" Emmet asked, referring to the startled noise she'd made.

She smiled a brilliant smile, perfectly at ease, "I'm fine."

We sank into idle conversation for the next few hours, Emmet and Rose filled most of the silence, updating everyone on the goings on at home. I was comfortable, happy, and for a little while, completely whole.

Some obnoxious song began playing from Emmet's pocket and he pulled out his phone. "Hi Esme!" He greeted cheerfully.

My fingers itched to grab the phone, to pour my heart out to the closest thing to a mother I had. I hadn't wanted anything more since Peter and Charlotte had found me. In that moment, I was the child everyone thought I was, but I was the child who wanted her mom. I could hear her side of the conversation, I could hear her voice, and it made me want to see her more.

"Hello dear, I was wondering what was going on. The two of you took off without saying anything and left a note to let me know where you were. Was there a problem with your phone?"

"No." Emmet said simply.

"Then you could have called. I've been worried sick! What was the sudden emergency? Do the two of you need our help?"

"No, mom, everything is great. We just needed to get away for a bit, you know us." His voice was too nervous, I could practically taste his lie.

"Emmet, what aren't you telling me?" Esme's voice had an edge to it, my eyes widened and I shook my head no, he couldn't tell her.

"It's nothing, I promise. We were just worried about Jazz, he's been so down lately, so we came to visit him. I just didn't want Edward to show up and make him feel worse."

My head whipped around to Jasper, why would Edward make him feel bad? Jasper had done nothing wrong! I felt my eyes narrow as I turned back to watch Emmet.

"I've been worried about him too, he hasn't called. I figured it was because of the date. We are all still hurting so badly, it feels like only yesterday that I was helping Alice decorate for Bella's birthday." There was so much agony in her voice, I wanted it to go away and a small sound escaped my throat.

Suddenly Peter was kneeling before me, his crimson eyes holding my gold ones captive, his hands holding my face. "It's not time yet." He whispered, "If you rush it, it will end badly."

I couldn't focus, it was something about Peter, he could make me focus on him no matter what was going on. I knew it was because he and Char saved me, because both of them could pull me into this place in my head, where nothing else existed but their voice, nothing mattered but their eyes. The only times they couldn't reach me were when I was too far gone.

I fell to my knees before him, burying my face in his neck and sobbing to my heart's content. I wanted the mother I would never see again, I wanted the mother I would see soon enough! I wanted the things I had lost, I wanted them so badly I could taste them. I had never wanted time to move more quickly.

Emmet said goodbye to Esme, and after that, he didn't talk to her in front of me. I was grateful at the same time as being angry about it. I wanted to hear her voice, even if I couldn't speak with her directly yet. Rose and Emmet had been visiting for two weeks, and surrounded by so many people that loved me made it difficult to hurt because of my past. They kept me constantly busy, doing something and not really giving me time to dwell on it. I knew they did it on purpose, they didn't want me focusing on painful memories. Each of them wanted me to see the good in life.

Rosalie was the most determined, it was as though her entire personality changed. She was nicer, and she was really happy. I found Emmet watching her with this gob smacked expression on his face, mouth hanging open and everything, he had never seen his mate so loving, and he was praying that it lasted. I knew it would, and they had a brighter future ahead. Rose thanked me at least one hundred times, I didn't understand it, I had only talked to her, she'd done all the heavy lifting. We became very close, and I decided to confide in her a bit.

We went for a run and stopped by a small lake some distance away. She sat down and stared out over the water, I sat next to her and did the same.

"It's beautiful out here." She sighed happily.

"It is." I smiled, "Rose, could I talk to you about something?"

"Anything."

I fidgeted, lacing my fingers together and unlacing them, a nervous habit. "Well, I told you before that I can't really get my emotions straight, that they are all so hectic."

"I remember." She turned to look at my hands, "Bella, honey, what's wrong?"

"I wanted to ask you what some of the things I felt."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I'm terrified of Jasper." The words were out, I would never be able to take them back now.

Her face scrunched a bit in concern, "Bella, Jasper would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

Her words startled me, she'd misunderstood. "I know that. I don't mean terrified of him in that sense. I'm terrified I'll lose him. I've got all these feelings toward him that I don't understand and I'm scared to death that it will make him run away. I'm afraid he'll think I wasn't strong enough, good enough." "Bella, how do you feel about Jasper?"

"He's my best friend, I would walk through fire for him with a smile. But then there are the emotions I don't understand. I hide them from him because I want to know what they are first. I thought it might be love, but it isn't as deranged as it was when I was human, when I was in love with Edward, it hurt."

"Bella, love doesn't hurt. Being in love is where you find someone who sees you for who you are, and you see them, and you want them still. Some things change, you may be more protective, but you don't go through a complete and irreversible alteration as you did with Edward. That was unhealthy Bella. It wouldn't be that way with Jasper."

"Are you saying I'm in love with Jasper? That's what this feeling is?"

Somewhere in the distance, a twig snapped, just an animal scurrying in the distance. My head whipped around though, I had thought I heard a sharp intake of breath. When I turned my gaze back to Rose, she had been staring in the same direction I was, she had heard something too.

"Let's get home, Bella, I don't like the vibe I'm getting out here." She was suddenly anxious, afraid. She took my hand and we ran back to the house, the exhilaration of running making us forget what we thought we heard. We went back into the house and joined the others in playing games and watching movies.

Jasper POV-

Watching Bella interact with Rosalie and Emmet was amazing to say the least. It was as if each person that came into her life helped her jump another hurdle. We kept her moving, kept her busy, and it wasn't because we were trying to keep her mind off of things, that was just an added bonus. No, we did it because we all wanted her time, so we had to share, we had to divide our time with her. Rosalie and Char got the most time with her alone, I deemed this unfair, but they used "girl time" as an excuse. They took her shopping and her closet was nearly bursting with clothes and shoes, they were gracious enough to stick to Bella's taste, unlike a certain pixie who would force everyone into clothes they didn't want until they put their foot down.

She was making so much progress that I couldn't deny the women, I couldn't even deny Emmet. I was so very grateful to each of them, with out them, Bella would not have survived the torment of her past. While I couldn't deny the others, I selfishly tried my best to monopolize as much of her time as I could. Emmet and I would often wrestle for the chance to hang out with her, she had developed a certain taste for his video games. He had never had someone to play with that enjoyed the games as much as he did. She hunted with me most of the time, but she did start going with Rosalie when Emmet didn't need to hunt. I knew that Bella counted the two of them among the people she would kill for, the people she would die for.

Emmet and I often hunted together, and he always used the time to grill me about Bella. I didn't give him anything, I couldn't. I didn't want it getting back to her, I didn't want to feel her disgust or rejection.

"You're an idiot!" He growled as he grappled with a large bear.

"Me or the bear?" I called from the branch I was standing on.

"You!" He turned his attention to me for half a second before shoving the bear backwards a bit, "You think it isn't obvious that you're crazy about her? I know these things man!"

"Oh, please! You don't know my emotions any better than you know the back of your head." I rolled my eyes.

"I see the way you watch her when she isn't looking, I see what happens when you have a thought that you deem inappropriate. It hurts you that you want her."

"She's been through too much, she doesn't need that." I sighed.

"That mean you're finally admitting it?"

I threw my hands in the air in frustration. "Fine, yes! Okay?"

"What you don't realize though, is that your thoughts and feelings aren't wrong. You haven't forced yourself on her and you won't in the future. You feel so strongly for her, yet you are letting her decide, waiting for her to show you that she is ready."

"So, it's not like I'm doing something so grand for her, my thoughts disturb me, Em. I can't help them even though I know what she's been through."

"Jasper, bro, you are giving her the one thing Edward never did." I growled when he said that name, I didn't want to hear it.

"And what might that be?"

"A choice." He downed and drained the bear, when he was finished, he stood as if nothing happened. "He used his gift and vampire abilities to dazzle her. She was never really in love with him, originally, she was fascinated, but nothing more. He took her breath away, he dazzled her, and you know as well as I do that if you do that continuously to a human, they become addicted. It's like a drug to them. She never loved him, she was obsessed with him and you know it. You told me yourself while she was still human."

I sighed, it was true that her emotions for Edward were not those of love. They were an unhealthy obsession, a need, like a heroine addict needing a fix. Edward had taken her choices from her without a conscious decision to do so. She had even gone through withdrawal when we left her, it was all his fault. Her scent drew him in, her silent mind gave him peace while he had company, he used her, he didn't really love her as a future mate. It was the reason he had not wanted to change her, and while he blamed me for her birthday, it wasn't the whole reason we left Forks.