Surprises

Stefan's mouth dropped open and hung there for much longer than he would've liked to admit. He felt... Well, the only word that really came to mind was flummoxed. And despite his realisation that his gaping mouth was not his most attractive feature, he could not find sufficient strength within himself to close the yawning orifice from which incoherent exclamations were pouring.

Meanwhile, Damon, who would have enjoyed his beloved's goofiness in any other moment, sat in anxious silence, trying to prepare himself for any outcome, good or bad, slightly wishing that, for once, his brother could act more like a functional member of society instead of a bit of a lunatic.

"I... Er... Erm... I... love you too?"

Damon's sharp exhale may possibly have sounded very similar to a sigh of intense relief, but of course, in years to come, he would never admit it. After all, there was nothing to admit. He had never doubted his charms and good looks. He had known all along that Stefan loved him back, and had not waited in suspense for his answer, not at all.

"Stefan, could you say it again, this time without making it sound like a question?"

"Oh. Of course. I love you too." he said, a slight tremble in his voice from nervousness. Not that he really had any reason to be nervous, but years of suppressing the phrase had stigmatised it, until now he still felt like he would wake up from a dream and curse himself for speaking the taboo words.

Damon smiled, but couldn't help feeling kind of cheated. After all, he had waited decades to hear his brother confess his love for him, and while he was happy to hear them in any way, he would prefer that Stefan said them with confidence and pride, rather than as if a gun was being held to his head. Maybe his brother just wasn't ready for this. His mind recoiled at the thought, screaming in horror, but he forced himself to accept that it was possible his brother wasn't at the stage in their relationship that he was.

"Stefan," he said gently, turning to face his brother on the couch do that their knees touched. "If you're not ready for this, please don't force yourself. I am prepared to wait as long as I have to for you to say those words and really mean them."

"What?" Stefan was bewildered again. "I'm ready now. I just said it. And I meant it."

"Stefan," Damon reached out and took Stefan's hands in his. "Sometimes people confuse lust for love. Are you sure that's not what's happening here?"

"Damon, shut up! I love you!"

"Ok, I just wanted to make su-" Stefan cut him off by leaping forward, placing a warm hand on his knee and covering Damon's lips with his own.

"You're such an idiot sometimes..." Stefan mumbled softly, their lips still touching.

"Hey!" his brother exclaimed as they pulled away. "I'm not the idiot here!"

"So you're saying I'm the idiot then? No more kisses for you then."

Damon's eyes widened. "Stefan! Please! No!" he shouted, reduced to single words by his fear.

"Damon, calm down, I was just joking." Stefan said soothingly, ruffling his hair.

"Let's make a rule right now, ok? Never joke about not kissing me ever again."

"Ok."

"No, pinky swear."

They linked pinkies and Stefan squeezed Damon's finger and smiled. Damon smiled back, relieved that he wouldn't ever have to worry about that particular problem ever again.

Damon's phone rang, interrupting the Salvatores' make out session.

"Hello?" Damon said, barely masking his irritation. In his rush to get the conversation over and get back to kissing Stefan he hadn't checked the caller ID.

"Damon, Elena is going into labour!"

"What?! Is this Caroline? I thought she was only a few months in at most, how can she be giving birth already?"

"It's Caroline, yeah. I don't know, this is just as weird for me as it is for you! Maybe because it's a vampi- Um, special baby? I have no idea!"

"Ok, where are you guys? We'll come and get you."

"We're at the mall."

"I can't believe this! I'm going to be a father!" Stefan exclaimed excitedly as Damon pulled into the hospital car park.

Elena groaned in response.

"I'm going to be a father too." Damon replied, glaring at his brother.

"You're going to be fathers together." Caroline added, trying to stop the argument before it started.

Her attempt worked. Stefan beamed.

"That sounds even better!"

"Ow" Stefan mouthed to Damon.

They were standing on either side of Elena, who was lying in a hospital bed, squeezing their hands very tightly as she pushed.

"Oh cool! It's crowning! I can see its head! Aw, it has a tiny tuft of hair..."

Caroline was helpfully giving a running commentary, which the doctors and nurses showed their appreciation of by trying to throw her out of the room. They let her stay once she promised to stop talking so much.

"This is taking a while. Does it usually take this long?" Caroline had obviously forgotten the conditions of her stay.

"That's it, GET OUT!"

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Caroline eagerly asked as they emerged from the hospital room. "I can't believe they threw me out! I was being quiet like they told me to!"

The brothers shared a look.

"It's a girl." Stefan said, eventually, after tearing his eyes away from Damon's. The stare may have started as a 'God Caroline's so annoying sometimes' glance, but it had soon turned into a 'You're so gorgeous, and now we have a gorgeous family and I am so happy I could die' gaze.

"YAY!" Caroline screamed. "WHAT IS SHE GOING TO BE CALLED?"

"Shit. I forgot about that..." Damon said, looking extremely worried. "My child was only just born and I'm already a bad father. Maybe I should just be an uncle..."

"NO! Um, I mean, please don't say that. You'll be a great father. It's just a shock, that's all. She's been born so early, none of us are really ready." Stefan assured him, terrified by the idea of being the only dad with Elena as the mother.

"What do you mean, none of us are ready?! I'm ready! I was born ready!" Caroline exclaimed, offended by his statement.

"You're not helping!" Stefan hissed at her, glaring.

"IS NO ONE GOING TO COME AND VISIT THE NEW MOTHER?!" screamed Elena petulantly.

They sighed collectively and entered the room.

"I still can't believe no one got me any presents. I mean, I just gave birth!" Elena said for the fifth time that day.

"Just? Elena, you gave birth four days ago. And we all got you presents. Caroline brought you perfume, Damon got you flowers and I bought you a magazine." Stefan replied, slightly exasperated. "As I have reminded you several times already."

Elena sniffed disparagingly.

"You call those presents? See, this is why I broke up with you."

Stefan gritted his teeth, but somehow managed to stay silent.

"She gave birth to your daughter very recently, this bitchiness is just hormones... Except that she's always like this... Anyway, the point is, you can't punch her. Don't punch her, Stefan. No matter how much you want to." Stefan said to himself.

"Have you come up with a name for our daughter yet?" Elena asked.

"Er... No."

"Well, hurry up. I had to put Girl as her name on the birth certificate."

"WHAT?! Are you kidding?! You called our daughter Girl?! I knew you were stupid, but I didn't realise you were this stupid! That's her official name. She's now called Girl. You idiot!"

"Calm down, we can always change it!"

As Stefan started to angrily stride towards her, Damon placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"You're right, Elena. We can always change it. But it was a stupid thing to do. Was Girl really the only thing you could think to call her?" Damon asked, trying not to take either side.

"I was under pressure." Elena pouted.

Damon sighed.

"Ok. Let's all do some girls' names research and decide what to change her name to."