All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer.

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Teardrop - Massive Attack, Angel - Massive Attack, New Born - Muse

Chapter Nine - Who am I?

I knew that I had to give them some time, so I decided I would keep to myself what I saw for a couple of months and then check again and see if anything changed. I reprimanded myself for my stupid action. I had upset Jasper and myself and it changed nothing. I would never tell Edward what I was doing, but I promised myself that if in four months time, if she was still suffering, I would go back, even if I had to go alone.

Jasper didn't like that I was interfering. He was worried it would end up hurting everybody else. I had a lot of time to reflect on that because we had been stuck in the casino for a week. We occasionally walked by the water in the evenings and then we would gamble. It was pretty pathetic how much money we were winning. I would occasionally lose big, and so would Jasper.

He preferred the poker tables, people had great poker faces but inside they were either exploding with excitement or nonchalant, which made it easy for Jasper to pick the players with winning hands.

I was a dab hand at blackjack, I could see what was coming before they dealt it, so I would bet high or low depending on the hand, and I would always see the next card coming, which made it easier to hit or stick. It also made it easy to lose. We were beginning to get cabin fever.

We finally cut a break on a Tuesday afternoon. A low traveling storm was heading in and would give us at least six hours of decent cover form the sun. Jasper made sure he still had the list and we headed out. As we arrived in the municipal building I began getting nervous, I wasn't sure what we'd find and I although I was curious as to why my parents had put me in such a place, I couldn't help worrying that they had a reason to do it. A reason other than my visions.

I turned to head back out of the building when Jasper picked up my hand and pulled me to him. His strong arms closed around me and my head laid on his chest, one of his hands was stoking me gently.

"You can do this, Alice. You're one of the strongest people I know."

I drew in a long breath and let it out through my nose. I closed my eyes and tried to muster all the strength I had in me before I nodded. His arms loosened around me and one of his hands clutched mine and spun me around once again to face the main reception desk. The woman sat behind it was watching us curiously. Jasper ran one of his hands along my jaw line and I looked up at him.

He nodded in encouragement.

We approached the desk and stopped, the nameplate on the receptionists desk read 'Maria Worth'. I nodded and smiled my sweetest smile.

"Hi, can I help you with anything?" she asked kindly.

"I was hoping to find some records on my great aunt, she lived here in the nineteen-twenties. I believe she was admitted to the county asylum. I was wondering if you could tell me where to find the records?"

The woman nodded and smiled, she began typing on the computer system in front of her. I leanedagainst the desk still holding Jasper's hand but watching the woman work.

"Okay, just one second and I'll call a clerk to come and help you, if you'd like to take a seat." she pointed to a row of padded chairs that were surrounded by potted plants and tables with magazines. I nodded and pulled Jasper with me to a chair.

It didn't take long for someone to come to us, the clerk was a twenty something college student. He smiled happily at me but eyed Jasper nervously.

"I'm Conner, I'll be helping you today, if you'd like to follow me I can take you where you need to go."

We followed Conner through thin white halls, that had no windows. The musty smell, I assumed came from all the old records that they kept here. I was clinging to Jasper's hand and he was continuously sending me waves of serenity and I was thankful for it. I wasn't sure what our equivalent to passing out was but I was sure that, if Jasper hadn't of been around, I would've found out.

Conner stopped at a door and waved his badge in front of it, I heard the lock click and he pushed the door open. Behind the door was row upon row of file cabinets, each had numbers on them. I looked to Jasper hoping that they had a filing system and didn't just shove it all inside.

Conner closed the door behind us and pointed at a desk that had a computer on it.

"You can search for names, birthdays, weddings, deaths and hospital records on that machine. Anything after 1955 hasn't been added yet. We update regularly but if it has come to us recently, it may not be in the system. If you can't find it in the computer," he headed towards a large bookshelf that held numerous volumes of large record books. "You can search in these, it takes longer but everything is recorded in them. If you have any questions, I'll be in my office." He pointed to a door on the far right wall.

"Thanks, Conner." Jasper smiled at him and sat down at the computer. I smiled at Conner and stood behind Jasper watching his fingers move on the keys as he pulled out his list.

He typed in the first name 'Elizabeth Alice Morgan', and it popped up on the screen, the reference number was sat next to it and I looked up at the file cabinets again and sighed.

"I'll go find this first one, you write the rest of them on the paper and we can go through them when we've finished with the first file." I smiled.

Jasper nodded at me and started typing again. I disappeared into the maze and followed the number I was chanting in my head.

After a couple of corners I found the number I was looking for and pulled open the drawer, all of the names were in alphabetical order by the last names. I finally found the file I was looking for 'Morgan, Elizabeth Alice' I pulled it out and headed back to the desk at the front of the room. I pulled up a chair next to Jasper and placed the file on the desk. He kissed the side of my head just above my ear, ti nudge me to open it. I opened the file and started flipping through the documents, there were medical reports but they were for things such as a broken arm and stitches.

There was no mention of the asylum anywhere in the file. I slapped it closed and sighed.

"Next," Jasper got up with me and we started towards the maze, Conner popped his head out of the door and smiled.

"I forgot to mention, any files you take out you can leave on the table and I'll return them and if you need copies, the copier is by the door."

"Thanks," I smiled and headed back to the table to place the file I was holding onto it. We headed back into the maze that was the cabinets and picked out the final three files and headed back to the desk. Jasper handed me the file with the name 'Lear, Alice Louise' I flopped it open and then closed it again, and laughed.

"What?" Jasper asked and flopped the file open. There was a hospital report on top that had pictures attached, apparently poor Alice Lear, it was a medical mystery at the time. She was asiamese twin. Jasper shook his head and shuddered.

"I don't think that's you." he grinned and slapped the file shut again. He handed me the file 'Brandon, Mary Alice' I flipped it open and read the birth certificate. I flipped back to the medical history and flipped through the pages. When I saw the letter head from the county asylum I squeezed Jasper's hand. He rubbed my shoulder gently as I took a deep breath.

"You want me to read it?" he asked sympathetically.

I nodded and laid my head on the desk in front of me.

"Okay, Mary Alice Brandon, Born February 23, 1901, four foot, ten inches tall, seventeen years old. Admitted to the institution January seventeenth, nineteen eighteen. Patients parents complain that child has unusual psychotic breaks in which she sees future events. Parents George and Mabel Brandon have one other child, Cynthia, seems to be normal. Admitted for observation and Shock therapy. Notes held within." Jasper stopped and looked at me briefly. "Items removed upon arrival. . ."

I put my hand on his arm to stop him, there were no need for words, he knew what I wanted. He scanned the document and I could see his eyes grow darker from anger, these were the things I was asking him to skip, I didn't want all of the gory details, just enough to work with, to find my family and perhaps the kind hearted attendant that had saved me from James.

"Admitted to solitary confinement after threatening a staff member, predicting her death. Treatment has been doubled." Jasper shook his head in disgust as he read on. By the looks of the file I had spent at least two years in the institution. I pulled out my death certificate, it had the admission date on it and I frowned and looked over Jasper's shoulder at the notes.

"What date do those notes go to Jazz?" I asked starting in confusion at the certificate I held in my hand.

"They last entry is on January twenty-fourth, nineteen twenty. Why?" I handed him the certificate and raised my eyebrows.

"But, that's two years before. . . that's your admission date!"

I nodded, "What else does it say?"

"Nothing much, just that you spent the rest of the time in solitary and. . . a porter would hear you crying as he cleaned in the evenings, the notes say that you spoke to him. You would beg him to help you get out. . ."

"A name?" I was hopeful that this may have been the kind hearted vampire that had helped me escape, in a manner of speaking.

"No, there's no name but. . ." Jasper concentrated on the sheet and growled.

"What is it?" I asked scanning the sheet trying to find what had caused such a reaction.

. . . January 20th, 1920.

Patient has a strange reaction to the new patient that was admitted and placed in the solitary cell next to her. The patient was placed in solitary after trying to convince staff members he was a 'vampire'. He successfully attacked a member of staff with a knife but said weapon was never found.

Porter on the level, who speaks with Alice, has said that the patient 'James McDonald' has threatened her on numerous occasions. In the words on the porter, he 'torments' her.

Patient's therapy has been induced due to violent reactions when trying to remove her from cell the staff member, Nurse Amelia Jackson, reports the patients screaming, 'he'll kill me, he'll kill me.'

January 21st, 1920

Patient has become non responsive. . .

I sat back, if I was angry. I looked up at Jasper, one of his hands was clamped onto the desk. The cracking noise made it evident he was squeezing too hard.

"Jasper?" I said loudly and he looked at me his eyes retaining the hatred that he found in the words of the document. I nodded down to his hand and he released it immediately.

"Alice. . ." I could hear the loathing in his voice.

"Don't Jazz," I stopped him before he could go any further. "As sad as it all is and as angry as it makes me, I don't regret what happened to me. If this never happened, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have met you. I would never have found Esme and Carlisle. I would have never found my truest of love, my heart, my soul." I held his hand tenderly, and smiled weakly. He picked up my hand and kissed it gently.

"I am thankful for one thing, you never felt anything. There was no pain involved for you." I smiled at him again and looked down at the folder before closing my eyes. I didn't want to see anymore.

"I'm going to make a copy of the birth and death certificates and copy the medical files for Carlisle. Don't go anywhere."

I nodded and laid my head on the desk, Mary Alice Brandon. It actually seemed to suit me. I had a sister, Cynthia. I was wondering if she was still alive. Ninety years, I doubted it. I pulled the file towards me again and looked at something Jasper had detached from the death certificate. It was the police report that mentioned a body was never found due to a fire and that the case was still open, that was in nineteen twenty-five.

Jasper, sat back down next to me and reorganized the papers in front of him. I slid the report towards him. He picked up the paper and headed towards the computer. He checked Conner's door before sitting down and he started typing.

"What are you doing?" I said under my breath, quiet enough that only Jasper would hear me.

"Well, this is the municipal building, Alice. I'm sure their servers are attached throughout the building, I'm going to try and get into the police records."

I smiled to myself. I was married to a genius. I rested my elbows on the tables and rested my head on my hands and watched him type, keeping an eye out in case Conner decided to see how we were doing.

"Hmm."

"What?" I whispered.

"Your parents closed the case in nineteen fifty-five. You would have been fifty-four."

"What else does it say?"

"It has your sisters information in here. I'll check that out on this system in a moment and see if she's still in town."

He jotted something down quickly and then switched back to the program we had used previously. He wrote down information quickly and then cleared all the information from the screen. He smiled at me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, unfortunately you sister died in eighty-four at the age of eighty-eight, she did have a daughter Anne, who is still alive and living in Biloxi, she had her in thirty-one, she's seventy-five. She had three kids two boys and a girl in. . ."

I laughed and held up my hand. "Good to know."

"Wait, they all live here in Biloxi." he grinned. "We get to see your great nieces and nephews!"

I laughed and picked up his hand, we were running out of time, the storm had almost completely passed and we had to get back to the hotel before the made it's grand reappearance.

"Thanks, Conner." I called on the way out and we slipped out the door.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the whole self discovery thing, I wasn't sure if it was boring or not, I did a little bit of research and tried to find some info but there was nada. . . I don't even know if Harrison County has a municipal Building with that info available, :0S. . . Oh well!

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