Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

Disclaimer: reading Atlas can turn you into Batman.

Important Info: after receiving a PM I would like to point out, again, that I know Naruto isn't two years older than the rest of his class, but I made the age up to justify some physical feats. A twelve years old boy leaping from roof to roof for hours would be difficult to believe, whereas if it is a sixteen years old teen it is easier to justify.

Chapter 10:

Boys and Girls

When Naruto exited the Hokage's house, he glanced at his ultra-perfectly-scheduled agenda. He had to meet a few girls in less than four hours, and he would succeed "Let's go."

The first one was Ayame. Knocking at the door of the apartment she shared with her father, Naruto waited patiently, carrying one suitcase. The young woman opened it silently. She had dropped her waitress uniform and bandanna for a black, casual dress, which the blonde found rather elegant. "Naruto, what is-"

"Thirty million ryo," he declared, revealing the money inside the suitcase to a surprised Ayame. "For Ichiraku's."

"B-but where did you find that much money?" Ayame asked in shock, seizing the suitcase to see whether or not the ryo inside were fake.

"Short story, I gambled. Long story, I went with a crazy old man to a casino yesterday night and I kept winning so many times the owners gave me a lot of money just to see me gone." Naruto smiled cheerfully. "I'm sure it will be enough for the expansion."

"Naruto, you're… you're an angel." She grabbed the blonde by the shoulders, approached his head from her own, and kissed his cheek. The boy blushed in surprise, and the waitress smiled kindly upon releasing the embrace. "Would you like to come inside? I'd like to offer you breakfast."

"Sorry, I've got a few errands to run," he politely declined, before waving at her and leaving. "But don't worry, you can cook me a few ramen tonight!"

When he arrived before the Hyuuga Compound, Naruto glanced at his watch. He was thirty minutes behind on his schedule, which was bad. "Alright," he thought, climbing the walls and exploiting the flaws in the guards' routine to enter unhindered, "This will be quick."

Reaching the training ground, Naruto found Hinata and a little Hyuuga girl practicing the Gentle Fist. Recognizing the latter as Hanabi, Hinata's younger sister and the possible heir of the clan, the blonde decided to ignore her hostile gaze. "Hinata, I've something to tell you."

"You're the one who humiliated father," Hanabi stated, cutting in. "You have no right to be there!"

"Look I don't have the time-"

"I do," Hanabi replied, adopting a threatening stance. "I will expel you myself."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and lazily dodged a Juuken strike. "Alright, if you wish to fight me, then revel in my divine power!" Joining his hands, the blonde prepared his ultimate technique.

"ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!"

Then he put his finger in Hanabi's ass.

While the young girl shrieked at the surprise contact, it couldn't compare to her older sister's horrified reaction. Using all his strength in one motion, Naruto sent the little girl to fly. "She'll survive," Naruto told the shocked Hinata, not bothering to look where Hanabi had landed.

"N-Naruto-senpai, that… that was disgusting…"

"Trust me, it's a lot less anally violating than Anko's version," he replied, inwardly praying it wouldn't be taken for sexual assault on a minor. "I'm already behind on my schedule, so I will make it quick: congratulations for reaching the Third Exam. You did superbly."

"T-thank you."

"However, I'm pretty certain you have a rough idea of how Neji will react if you do fight him in the first round, and why." Hinata narrowed her eyes in shame. "You've nothing to do with what happened to his dad, but he won't care. He will beat you up senselessly due to his grudge against the Main Family. This is hard to say, but-"

"I won't surrender," she interrupted, her voice betraying her inner determination. "I… I have gotten this far, I will not disappoint my team and my father."

Naruto sighed. He had expected this answer. "I hoped to convince you to give up, but I respect your choice. I will try convincing Neji not to be… petty… but if it looks bad, I advise you to surrender before he resorts to extreme force."

"I have to impress my clan," she replied. "This is the only way I have to remove the Caged Bird Seal."

"Well, that's…" Naruto's eyes widened, upon understanding what she had said. "Care to repeat?"

"If I become heiress and the Clan's head, I will have the authority needed to… abolish the Branch Family." Hinata interlaced her fingers. "I hoped to remove Neji's seal after I become Chuunin… if I pass on my first try, the elders will be impressed enough to agree."

A myriad of plans took shape in Naruto's mind, until he found an interesting one. "I think I may have a solution."

After explaining his plan to Hinata, who seemed slightly skeptical, Naruto prepared to leave, and realized he had forgotten something. "By the way, you and Kiba would make a cute couple."

The Hyuuga heiress blinked. "W-what?"

"He cares about you, yet in spite of his bravado he's inwardly too shy to ask a girl out, so he tries to impress you through different means," Naruto explained. "Since he's a better match than myself, perhaps you should try dating him."

"W-wait!" Hinata commanded, yet too late. The blonde had vanished, abandoning her to her thoughts.

Hurrying as fast as he could, Naruto managed to reach the top of the Hokage Monument on time, sweating and panting. "You're exhausted to the point of collapsing!" Fuu noted disapprovingly, helping him get on his feet. "Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired," he grinned, bringing out his tools from hidden pockets. "Sandaime-jiji is going to have a cardiac arrest when he sees it."

When they finished, Naruto was tired, and very, very late. As he raced as fast as his legs could toward the Hokage Tower, he realized there was no way he would make it on time. "Shit, shit, shit…"

"Hey, brat, you running late too?" Jiraiya suddenly appeared at his right, running as well. "What were you doing?"

"I was being awesome. And you?"

"Being more awesome."

"The Han is sorry to say you're both little league compared to His divine glory." The Gobi's Jinchuuriki started running next to them, coming out of nowhere. "Where are you going?" he asked his fellow demon vessel.

"The Hokage Tower, but we won't be able to reach the Sandaime's office in time."

"Oh, that?" The giant chuckled. "The Han knows a shortcut route."

"This is why I asked you to return," Sarutobi said. "Will you fight for us?"

Tsunade hadn't changed in the slightest. Of course, this was probably the result of her special henge, of which her old teacher was secretly jealous. She appeared in her twenties, wearing a sleeveless grey outfit flaunting her sizable cleavage. Her brown eyes and blonde hair, combined with her beautiful face, confirmed her reputation as one of the world's most beautiful kunoichi.

Her apprentice, Shizune, had been a little girl the last time Sarutobi had met her. She had grown into a fair and slender woman, with short black hair and eyes of the same color. She was wearing a bluish kimono and carrying a pig.

Sarutobi would have found it strange, if he wasn't occupied scratching the back of the platypus sleeping on his lap. Damned Naruto, couldn't he give him a less ridiculous animal to take care of?

"No. Sorry, Sarutobi-sensei… I can't." Tsunade shook her head. "I can heal the people injured during the fighting, however."

"This is not of a healer I need. It's a frontline fighter." Sarutobi inhaled from his pipe. Jiraiya and Naruto should have there already, with their 'perfect' solution to the Tsunade problem. What were they doing? "While your actions will save many lives, Orochimaru is an army all of his own, and I need highly skilled ninjas to deal with him."

"I've abandoned the fighting a long time ago," she shrugged. Sarutobi believed her hemophobia had something to do with it, along her general dislike of Konoha as a whole. "I don't want to do it anymore."

"If so-"

Then the windows shattered.

Sarutobi instinctively put himself on guards, imitated by Tsunade and her apprentice. Both glanced, amazed, at the people having crashed on his desk.

"Did…" Jiraiya groaned, his face and limbs covered with scrapes. Naruto Uzumaki was standing atop him, the Sannin having served as an unwilling protection and landing platform. "Did your friend just throw us through the office's windows?"

"Well, thanks for having sacrificed yourself, being my meat shield, and serving as a comfortable shock absorber." Naruto's feet met the office's ground, and he politely bowed to the people present. "Hi, I'm the Amazing Naruto Uzumaki, Konoha's soon to be strongest ninja," he told Tsunade and Shizune. "Nice to meet you, misses."

Both women stared at him blankly, unable to mutter anything.

"Sorry for the dynamic entry, but we were running late." Naruto briefly observed the legendary kunoichi, quite impressed by her assets. Jiraiya wasn't kidding when he said she had the biggest bust in the Elemental Nations. "So? Will we fight together against Orochimaru?"

Regaining control of herself, Tsunade snorted. "Sorry brat," she shrugged, glancing at Jiraiya. "Is this your new apprentice, Jiraiya? If I find out you tried to teach him your habits…"

"Nice to see you too, Tsunade-hime," the Sannin deadpanned, occupied at removing the glass shards from his flesh. "Bring it out kid. She isn't going to fight for us otherwise."

Naruto searched in his pockets and pulled out a contract before presenting it to Tsunade. "It's a copy," he explained. "The real one is safe elsewhere."

The Sannin started reading it. "This document is the proof," she began reading, "That Naruto Uzumaki and Jiraiya have collectively brought the gambling debts of Tsunade Senju from her debtors. Tsunade Senju, heir of the Senju therefore owes them a debt of… three hundred million ryo…" She actually blinked, "As she is considered insolvent, the United Casino and Gambling Association will refuse her entry to any establishments under their authority until the debts are erased."

"It was faster to pull off than we thought it would be," Jiraiya admitted, "Now, you can't gamble anymore unless you pay back your debts."

"In my case, I'm now dead broken," Naruto whined.

"But… but I don't have these funds!" Tsunade complained, trying to find evidence, any indication, that the document was a forgery.

"Well, we could erase this debt if you helped us a little," Jiraiya grinned. "Like giving us support during the invasion."

Sarutobi carefully brought out from his desk a bottle of sake. Seeing Tsunade's horrified and cornered expression, the Hokage decided helping drown her anger would be a good thing.

"Hey, see the good side of things!" Naruto smiled cheerfully. "You won't have to whore out to pay back your cred-"

Killing intent caused him to take a step back. "What… did you say brat?" the Senju asked, clenching her jaw.

"Isn't your nickname the 'Legendary Sucker'?" Tsunade twitched, but nodded. "Well… since you're a woman of legendary beauty… I thought it meant-"

Tsunade reddened like a tomato upon understanding the implications. Jiraiya's reaction did not improve things. "Oh, I get it!" the pervert roared in laugher. "Ah! Tsunade-hime, you're such a dirty girl!"

The Senju, vowing to murder Jiraiya at a later date, grabbed Naruto's throat and lifted him above the ground with one hand. "You brat!" she seethed, causing Sarutobi to ponder whether or not he would have to intervene. "Give me one reason not to kill you on the spot!"

"Read the fine print," Naruto replied calmly, putting the contract in front of Tsunade's face.

The Sannin grinded her teeth and complied. "In case Tsunade Senju is to injure and/or kill Naruto Uzumaki, the property of her debts will be fully transferred to… Jiraiya of the Sannin," her eyes widened in horror, "Making her his unwilling slave, forever."

Sarutobi silently opened the bottle of sake, and offered it to his female student.

It took three more bottles and one hour of careful diplomatic discussions to convince her not to go on a rampage and to agree to help Konoha, which would result in Jiraiya and Naruto canceling her debt and allowing her to gamble again. When it was over, Naruto smirked at the Sandaime. Understanding he was about to be pranked, the old man caressed his new pet platypus and waited. "Bring it on."

"Look at the Hokage Monument."

Sarutobi did as he was told, and for an instant, didn't find the problem. The faces of the five Hokage were where they should be-

Sarutobi blinked. Five? He pondered, until realization hit him with the strength of a sledgehammer.

Naruto had sculpted his face onto the Hokage Monument.

"See? See? I told you I would do it!" Naruto boasted to Jiraiya. "Now, you owe me a favor."

"I admit it, brat… You've got balls." The Sannin glanced at his teacher. "Sarutobi-sensei?"

"I am torn between wanting to punish Naruto and asking how he managed to pull it off at all," the Hokage admitted. "I am indecisive."

"When you proposed to give me this seal," Naruto began, "I wondered, what would I offer you as gift in return for your kindness? Flowers? A scary impractical armor with spikes everywhere? Then I remembered you idealized Tsunade…" The Senju entered the weapon shop. "So I brought her to you!"

Tenten had the face of… scratch that, Naruto had never seen her with this expression. The kunoichi seemed entranced, paralyzed. She slowly approached and touched the older woman, as if wanted to see whether or not it was someone wearing a henge. Then she attempted a genjutsu dispelling. Then she started asking difficult questions only either a fanatical fan of the Senju princess or Tsunade herself could answer.

Naruto actually learned interesting tidbits of info. That, for example, Tsunade's favorite food was chicken breasts and her least favorite food liver sashimi. Her favorite sentence was 'one grab, a thousand gold'. That she created the four rules to which medic-nins abide by.

Then, upon realizing that yes, it was Tsunade, Tenten hugged Naruto, nearly squishing him. "I love you so much!" she shouted happily.

"You're welcome… but you're… choking… me…" Naruto gasped for air, when the kunoichi released the embrace and nearly immediately asked Tsunade for an autograph. The blonde watched his friend, happy to see her in such a good mood.

It had taken a lot of time to convince Tsunade to agree to this visit. After all, she already disliked Naruto himself for blackmailing her, and simply being on friendly terms with Jiraiya. Considering the old man's habits and Naruto's own comments, she was probably convinced he was a pervert in the making.

However, after being told Tenten idealized her and wanted to be a pretty strong kunoichi and wanted to castrate Jiraiya, Tsunade had strangely ceased complaining, deciding to meet the girl herself.

Leaving the two inside the weapon shop, Naruto confronted Jiraiya outside. The Sannin was reading the 'anti-chakra' seal's design, genuinely impressed. "Your girlfriend will be a sealmaster," he outright told his younger friend. "She's wasting her skills on taijutsu."

"Can't Tenten be good both at Taijutsu and sealing?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "And for the third time today, she isn't my girlfriend."

"Ah yes, I forgot, it was Yugao. Or Fuu. Or that waitress. I admit I lost count." Jiraiya locked eyes with the Jinchuuriki. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Getting girls wanting to get into your pants while doing nothing out of the ordinary. Is it a kind of hidden technique?"

Naruto palmed his face. He had underestimated how badly Jiraiya could misunderstand the situation. "Just because you are friends with a lot of girls doesn't mean they're necessarily chasing you or vise-versa."

The Sannin snorted, unconvinced. "The Hyuuga girl has had a crush on you since you were a kid. This Tenten goes to pretty extreme lengths to help you for a mere friend, and you seem to have grown nearly inseparable of this Fuu girl and Yugao. The waitress kissed you. If at fifteen you're building a harem, I wanna see what you will be at twenty."

"You think I'm a closet womanizer?" Naruto's jaw dropped. "Look, Hinata has serious self-esteem problems and latched at the most determined person she set her sight on in hope of finding strength anywhere but in herself. This a deeply rooted psychological issue, and I blame her father for destroying her self-confidence. Tenten is one of my best friends and it will stay that way."

Naruto crossed his arms. "Fuu did not have a real friend before she met Han and I, and just as I tend to be clingy to the few people that do not hate me outright, she is deeply enjoying the experience. Yugao recently lost her lover and is in serious need of moral support, hence why we hang out together. And-" The Jinchuuriki briefly blinked. "Wait, how did you learn Ayame kissed me? I don't remember any other witness."

"I'm always watching over you. Especially at night."

Naruto took a step back.

"Not in that way moron! Ever since I has heard Orochimaru attempted to abduct you twice, I keep an eye on you anytime I'm not peeping or working for the Hokage, just in case." The Sannin coughed briefly.

"Turning back to the important subject, while you may be blind for the others, you just can't deny the waitress and Tenten like you. Why are you so adverse to romantic relationships? At your age, most teens think with what they have between the legs," Jiraiya admitted bluntly.

"That's precisely why I don't want to pursue any relationship." Naruto shrugged his shoulders at the Sannin's incomprehension. "Jiraiya-sama…"

"Call me Jiraiya, brat. Jiraiya-sama makes me feel old."

You are old, Naruto almost blurted, managing to restrain himself at the last second. "Jiraiya, I've never been in a romantic relationship. But I've seen others try. I've seen reasonable people do stupid things for a single smile from their crush. And a friend of mine was deeply affected by the loss of her lover. What would I do if my girlfriend was captured by Orochimaru, or killed because of me? I would probably make stupid decisions I cannot afford."

Jiraiya observed him strangely. "You're wise kid. And too dutiful to be happy."

"Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain." Naruto shrugged. "I was ready to sacrifice a potential family life when I decided to become a Shinobi. I still am."

Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "Kid, don't do that." Before Naruto could retort, the Sannin had already started explaining. "This way of thinking will make you a better Shinobi yes. You will have fewer weaknesses. But there is no greater danger for yourself than emotional repression. We're humans. We're not machines. In face of tragedy, we need emotional attachment to press forward. The ninjas who slowly cut off nearly all their bonds either become self-destructive wrecks, like Kakashi and me, or turned into emotionless killing machines, like Itachi Uchiha."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You're a self-destructive wreck?"

"I think it's bad news when the only people I speak with on a regular basis are Sarutobi and you," the sage snorted. "To return back to your friend's anti-chakra seal, the theory has merits. If you ignore the multiple problems I will have to solve, it could indeed be designed."

"So you can make it work?"

"Yes. When and how, however, is hard to determinate. With luck I will be able to finish a prototype before the invasion, but boy, sealing needs a lot of field-testing." Jiraiya snorted. "One day I saw your mom turning green and shouting 'HULK SMASHES' because one of her seals malfun-"

An explosion of smoke interrupted the discussion. A creature manifested right in front of the duo.

It was a black cobra. A big cobra. Naruto had little doubt the creature could crush bones with its tail, and its scales thick enough to resist arrows. The animal's eyes were just as black as its body, and the design on his hood was composed of shades of golden, representing opened eyes. It was carrying a scroll.

"My name is Apophis, Naruto-sama," the snake hissed politely, "I am a messenger and herald of the White Snake Sage."

"I swear that old reptile crashes in at the worst times on purpose." Jiraiya crossed his arms. "What does he want?"

"I have been tasked by the White Snake Sage to assist and help Naruto-sama, as a token of good faith," the creature declared, after deposing the scroll to the ground. "The White Snake Sage decided since you sought an animal familiar, I was the most fit to fill the role and teach you your duties as snake summoner. I have also been ordered to give Naruto-sama important news."

The fact the serpent elder had been informed of Naruto's desires was both impressive, disturbing, and interesting. He would have to confirm it was a true story later. The blonde handed the scroll to Jiraiya. "Is there a seal or a trap? It could be a trick."

The Sannin analyzed quickly, and handed the document back to the blonde. Silently, the teen opened it, and since his face didn't explode, he started reading it. His expression and mood worsened considerably, and he had to fight against the temptation to cry.

"Hey, what does it say?" Jiraiya asked, sounding worried.

"It says Anko was killed during the rescue mission."

When he arrived for the Kage meeting, Naruto immediately understood Sarutobi had been informed about Anko. He simply had to see his uneasy expression. "I know what happened," the blonde said with a surprising lack of emotion. He had already cried all the tears in his body before arriving, with Jiraiya as the sole witness of this display of weakness.

The Hokage had clenched his jaw and uttered a single sentence. "I am sorry."

Konoha was in high spirits, when the Wind and Water delegations arrived. The delegations were actually pretty small, no more than twenty people, most of them ANBU or advisers. Many would consider it suicidal for the heads of nations to travel with such a petty escort, but Kage were armies of one man. They would be present for two weeks and then leave.

Two weeks, and the Third Exam would start.

Two weeks, and the Invasion would start.

Two weeks, and Naruto would have a shot at avenging Anko.

The two Kage immediately asked to meet their Konohagakure counterpart. Sarutobi welcomed them in an expensive, soundproof reception hall, abiding by the old rule of bringing two bodyguards. Jiraiya had volunteered, his impressive reputation being a boon for negotiations, and since the Sandaime desired the Leaf's Jinchuuriki to be present, Naruto worked as the second bodyguard.

The Kazekage's first bodyguard was a jounin called Baki, and Gaara's jounin teacher.

The second was Gaara himself.

Which was unfortunately disturbing, as the redhead kept watching at Naruto all the time. He didn't bother to see whether or not his Kage was protected: he only smiled at the blonde demon vessel, like a hyena appraising an appetizing meal.

It was bad. If Gaara wanted to kill the genin so badly, he would probably try to ambush him before the Third Exam's deadline. In an attempt to ignore the mad boy's eyes, Naruto focused on the rest of the people present.

The Kazekage was a stern man. His traits oozed with coldness and heartlessness. The most worrying thing, however, was the family resemblance between him and Gaara. Considering the practice of creating Jinchuuriki out of family members, Naruto immediately understood the two were either father and son or uncle and nephew. In both cases, how Gaara turned out spoke volume about the Kazekage's personality.

The Mizukage's bodyguards were perhaps among the most bloodthirsty killers the Seven Swordsmen had produced during their career. Kushimaru Kuriarare and Jinpachi Munashi had been nicknamed 'the heartless pair' by Konoha, and for good reasons. These two were rumored to have killed over one thousand people during the most recent troubles in Kiri, according to Jiraiya.

Half of them were non-combatants unfortunate enough to get in their way.

The Mizukage was however quite different. Ever since Anko had spoken of her, Naruto had been searching for any info he could on Mei Terumi, probably the deadliest kunoichi the Hidden Mist ever produced. Wielding two Kekkai Genkai with incredible proficiency, she had claimed fame and glory during the last Great Ninja war by being the one to give the killing blow to the reputed unbeatable Third Raikage. When she was still a genin.

Of course, the guy had been fighting a force of ten thousand for three days, so he was already pretty weakened when she reached him, but it was the thought that mattered.

She was also famed for her great beauty, and Naruto had to agree it was no exaggeration. Jiraiya himself seemed to be struggling to not drool. With her long auburn hair, shining green eyes, and… bust… she was an eye catcher. And considering her very revealing blue dress, she wasn't above using her sex appeal to her advantage.

The discussion between the three Kage was pretty cordial, at least at first. After the usual greetings, the Kazekage and Hokage started discussing the recent troubles. Considering the Kazekage was planning an invasion, and Sarutobi was well aware of that, Naruto had to admit both were incredible actors.

He nearly believed the Kazekage when he declared he was convinced Konoha had nothing to do with the border attacks, and that he would maintain peace between the two countries. And Naruto nearly believed the Hokage when the old man said he trusted the Kazekage with his life. The sheer hypocrisy of the scene could break any heart.

This was diplomacy in a nutshell.

However, the Mizukage actually stayed silent during most of the discussion, letting the men deal with their problems. In fact, she spent most of the meeting glancing at Naruto himself. Since both she and Gaara kept staring at him for nearly two hours, the teen found the experience slightly disturbing.

He smiled at Mei, who smiled back.

Obviously, he interested her.

However, it was the Kazekage who first addressed Naruto's issue. "I am surprised your Jinchuuriki did not participate to the Exams," the man noted. "I believe it would be a good test if my son Gaara and him were to fight for the opening match of the Third Exam. This would be a show of force." Naruto quickly understood he intended to have Gaara kill him before the invasion started.

"I am afraid Naruto was promoted to Chuunin yesterday by a decree of the Fire Daimyo," Sarutobi replied mirthfully. "A chuunin fighting a genin wouldn't be fair."

While this was a polite way of defusing the situation, Naruto was genuinely surprised by the admission, although he did not show it. "Considering what Kiri's last Jinchuuriki could do," Mei pointed out, "A fight between two would cause untold damage to the region."

The Kazekage was forced to back down, much to Gaara's displeasure.

The meeting ended without much hassle, and Mei left with one last smile to Naruto, creeping him out. "The rumors say she's onto male teens," Jiraiya told him, once the three Konoha-nins were finally alone, "Lucky boy."

"Sometimes, I wonder if wearing a mask would have been easier," Naruto joked, briefly pondering if this was the real reason Kakashi was constantly masked. "She seemed subdued." He glanced at the Hokage. "I guess it was planned between you?"

"Most of our discussions were through proxies," Sarutobi coughed. "Kiri will help us during the invasion. They can't give more strength than the people Terumi brought there, or else Suna would guess what's happening, but they will give support."

Naruto nodded. The whole distant act had been planed to lessen the Kazekage's suspicions. "Why would she help us?"

"Because Akatsuki is behind the recent troubles in Kiri." Sarutobi interlaced his fingers. "From what she told me, they discovered Yagura, her predecessor, had been under the influence of a powerful Genjutsu similar to Shisui's brainwashing technique for years. The Village was already known as the Bloody Mist since the downfall of the Nidaime Mizukage, but at least some of Yagura's recent actions had been orchestrated to make abducting both the Rokubi and Bloodline Wielders easier. To what end, she does not know, but the description of Yagura's most secret and influential adviser matches the masked man's."

It wasn't hard to put the two and two together. "She wants Akatsuki gone and the Rokubi, or the Sanbi, back."

"In my humble opinion, they have been captured and sealed. Nearly all the remaining Jinchuuriki are gathered in Konoha at this very instant. Akatsuki will interfere personally. And we're going to trap them."

Naruto crossed his arms. "I can already see their hand in the Kazekage's demand. They want Gaara and I to be weakened, so when they arrive they will reap us like harmless flowers. I guess my promotion was a preemptive measure?"

"Considering the Kazekage's psychological profile, I guessed he would ask something like that… luckily, I can read him like an open book. Considering your services, skill level and maturity, I considered you were worthy of a promotion. Both the Daimyo and the Clan Heads seconded my request. I will give you your new jacket tomorrow."

"Welcome in the adult world," Jiraiya gave the teen a light tap. "I will explain to you the perks of being a Chuunin later, like free access to the Red Light-" A silent glare of his old teacher caused the Sannin to pause.

"However," Sarutobi took his breath. "There is one thing we have to do first."

Anko's funeral had been a quiet ceremony, with only a few people attending. Beside the Hokage and Naruto himself, Yugao Uzuki, Kakashi Hatake, Kurenai Yuhi, Asuma Sarutobi, Maito Gai, and surprisingly, Mei Terumi and her bodyguards had been present. Considering the Kiri-nin had been a sort of rival of Orochimaru's former student…

Anko's body had been incinerated, as per her last wishes. The ashes had been buried in the grave, while her name had been engraved on the memorial of the ninjas having fallen in the line of duty.

When the ceremony was over, Naruto found himself staring at the monument alone with Yugao. Kakashi had given the blonde a brief apology, which he accepted without much thought. Most of his thoughts were directed toward how he could make this masked man pay.

Violently.

Naruto and Yugao stood in silence an instant, before the latter broke it. "She made me promise to watch over you," she said. "I intend to follow up on it."

"I… well, thanks." Naruto put his hands into his pockets. "I have now a masked man on my hit list. It seems to be growing longer with each passing day."

"Me too." Yugao inhaled sharply. "I'm going to watch over you from now on. And train the rest of the time."

"Well, we have two weeks left to improve. Should be enough."

"How can the Han make you lose this depressed face?" the Jinchuuriki asked, as he, Sasuke, and Fuu continued drinking at a bar with Naruto. "The Han is worried."

"You can't do a thing." He snorted. "Although having Sasuke say he loves dolphins might work."

"You heard foxy," Han told his disciple, who shook his head. "Do you want to anger the Han, the breaker of bones and lord of all that is bad and nasty?"

"… I love dolphins…" The Uchiha ground out through his clenched teeth, before locking eyes with Naruto. "If you intend to take revenge, I'll help you in any way I can."

"Me too," Fuu said, before trying to lighten the mood. "Is it true you have been promoted to Chuunin?"

"Yep. Now I'm qualified as squad leader, and you are my loyal minions." Naruto snorted. "Guys… if I proposed you a plan... a very, very, very crazy plan... would go along with it?"

"The Han always has a one hundred percent chance of success," the giant replied. "That's why the Han is awesome."

"Considering you have a little talent for pulling off insane ideas, I guess I might, yes," Fuu replied.

Sasuke simply shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Let me explain how we're going to tear Akatsuki a new one."

"You wanted to see me?" Neji asked with a bored tone, as the two friends sat on a roof. It was late in the afternoon, and both of them were tired after intensive training.

"It seems Gai hasn't gone easy on you," Naruto whispered, pointing at the bruises. "Or was it Tenten?"

"Tenten and Hinata have taking lessons with Tsunade-hime." The admission surprised the blonde. "It appears the Senju Princess has grown fond of these two and has been giving them private tutoring. Gai-sensei accepted, both because he was happy to see Tsunade-hime take an interest in one of his students, and because it would allow him to focus more on Lee and myself."

It was hard not to notice the hint of jealousy in Neji's voice. He resented seeing Hinata, a failure by fate's decree, getting the chance of being mentored by a famed kunoichi. Naruto coughed. "I see. I actually didn't expect this when I introduced them to Granny Senju." He chuckled at Neji's outraged face. "What? It's a funny nickname."

"Sometimes, I wonder if fate did not balance your crippling handicap with astonishing luck." The Hyuuga crossed his arms. "Will you be there for the Third Exam?"

"To see you make Chuunin, you mean. I have already been promoted myself."

"Congratulations, although I saw it coming. It seems fate has a good future planned for you after all. I was mistaken."

"Ah, so my success has finally convinced you fate does not exist?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"No, simply that I misunderstood its plans for you." Neji narrowed his eyes. "What is the matter."

"It's about Hinata," Naruto began.

"I will not go gentle on her," Neji snapped, sounding bitter. "Can't you understand what the Main House did to the Branch? This is my only chance at getting back at them."

"Hinata didn't do a thing to you. She's your cousin."

"Her father sacrificed his own brother to live. In the Hyuuga clan, family means nothing." Neji narrowed his eyes. "Get straight to the point. What do you want?"

Naruto inhaled sharply. "Hinata intends to abolish the Caged Bird Seal once she become heiress. I am afraid a humiliating loss would destroy her chance, and turn counter-productive in the long run. I do not ask you to lose on purpose, simply to make it seem like an intense struggle and not go 'maim and kill' mode on her."

"The Hyuuga will never change. Fate decided they would be this way since immemorial times. Everybody who attempted to ease the situation of the Branch failed miserably. Hinata will learn no matter how much she struggles, she will never win against destiny."

Naruto snorted. "Neji, how can you believe free will is a lie?"

"How can I not believe in destiny when its physical manifestation was tattooed on my forehead when I was young?" Neji sneered. "You are the foolish one in believing you have any choice in what you are and will be. Let me prove you destiny exists. You wanted a full-blown fight against me, right? Then let's do it! I will prove you no matter how hard he tries, I was born to be a skilled slave, and you a crippled ninja."

"No."

The Hyuuga was genuinely surprised by the answer. Considering his friend's competitive nature, this was extremely out of character. "Why?"

"Because I have a more reliable way of proving you destiny is bullshit. One that does not involve me getting my ass kicked." Naruto crossed his arms. "Yesterday, I made a bet with Jiraiya of the Sannin I would have the audacity and skill to put my face on the Hokage Monument and then show it to the Sandaime."

"I've seen. It's a good thing the ANBU managed to remove it before the arrival of the diplomatic delegations, or else it would have caused unfortunate questions." Neji inhaled sharply. "What did you bet?"

"A favor. My original plan was to have him help me develop a few projects, yet Hinata gave me another idea." Naruto smirked. "I asked him to officially take you as an apprentice, and he agreed."

Neji actually gasped at the revelation. "What?"

"Why not? You are, for all intent and purposes, at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and the old man is fond of orphans and lost puppies." That, and considering the perverted way Neji used the Byakugan, Naruto was certain the two would get along perfectly. "Hiashi and the elders will be honored to have a Sannin take an apprentice among them, even if he comes from the Branch."

"I am grateful. I truly am, yet I fail to see what it is supposed to prove." Neji inhaled, oozing with pessimism. "I would stay a slave to the Hyuuga. It means nothing."

"No. It means nobody will complain when Jiraiya removes your Caged Bird Seal."

The training ground was silent and cold. The moon was high in the sky, and Naruto waited for Yugao to show up, conversing with Apophis in the meantime. "So you're Smaug's nephew?"

"Uncle spoke of you." The snake gazed into his partner's eyes. The King Cobra breed of serpents was rumored to have an exceptional memory, never forgetting the face of an aggressor. Naruto guessed they were alike in this regard. "He told me he looked forward to working with you again."

Naruto chuckled lightly, before crossing his arms. "May I ask you a question?"

"You can, but I may not answer."

"What is this 'dragon's lair' your uncle spoke of?" The question caused the reptile to turn briefly white. "Somewhere nasty?"

The serpent nodded. "Are you aware of the legend snakes can ascend into dragons? This is not a legend." Naruto blanched. "The dragon is the oldest serpent alive. Perhaps even the original one. It made his lair and nest in the deepest level of the Ryuchi Cave, and almost never comes out. It is the divine king of all reptiles. The White Snake Sage, as the second oldest snake, serves as its speaker and rules in its absence. It rarely bothers to interfere with the world, and its last flight happened two centuries ago."

"But what is it doing?" Naruto asked.

"No one is certain. Some say it is keeping an immense treasure, others pretend it is gathering strength and will one day lead the serpent to eternal victory. A few whisper the dragon is sealed, for its renewed flight would cause the world to end." Apophis snorted. "Uncle says sometimes the dragon allows worthy humans to meet him, giving them legendary weapons it has forged with its breath or priceless knowledge. Those who enter without an invitation never return."

"Nice." Naruto raised his head, picking up a sound. "You're late," he told Yugao, glancing in the noise's direction.

Except it wasn't Yugao. "I apologize, if you were expecting someone else," Mei Terumi replied softly in a friendly manner. She approached serenely, in appearance unaware of the ANBU watching hidden in the dark. My ass, of course she knows they're there, Naruto thought. What does she wants?

"Is it a real snake?" she asked, petting the head Naruto's new animal familiar.

"I am a King Cobra," Apophis replied, slightly happy to be the center of attention.

"He is, Mizukage-sama, although it depends whether you consider summons real snakes or giant mutants." Naruto shrugged at the glare Apophis sent him. "Hey? That's true."

Mei chuckled lightly, causing Naruto to cross his arms. "I am not certain Mizukage-sama has better things to do than speaking to a poor chuunin like me, especially in the middle of the night." The not-so-subtle message was: why are you here?

"The Mizukage can go where she wants, as I told Sarutobi-dono. I am certain this is the same for a Jinchuuriki." Aka: I wanted to meet you.

"I am not as free as others, but then again, being a ninja, is to have responsibilities and individuals to which you answer."

"Perhaps I was looking for an handsome man to meet under the moon," she whispered with a sly smile, which would have disarmed anyone else.

But Naruto wasn't anyone. If she wants to play this game… "I doubt such a beautiful woman as you would have troubles getting what she wants," he replied playfully, smiling mischievously.

"Thank you." Mei crossed her arms. "Tell me, have you ever traveled to the Land of Water?"

"No, but I heard it was a beautiful place." Except for the whole bloody civil wars deal, of course.

"It is. I wonder if Sarutobi-dono will allow you to visit it. I am certain you would appreciate the Hidden Mist." Mei grinned. "Its citizens are friendly, and we try to put the past behind us. We like to welcome new Shinobi." Aka you will have an easier time with them than your own countrymen, and your status won't bother anyone.

Before he could reply anything, Mei Terumi faked remembering something important. "Oh, perhaps I should go back to my bodyguards before they start getting the wrong idea. Maybe could you visit me? I would be happy to speak with a ninja as polite as you again, Naruto Uzumaki."

"I would gladly oblige, Mizukage-sama, if the Hokage wills it." This way, he would have an excuse to refuse, should he prefer keep his distance.

"Then let's hope he shall assent for us to meet," she whispered, vanishing with a shunshin.

The conversation had been short, but the hidden message couldn't have been clearer.

If you ever get sick of Konoha, Kiri will welcome you with open arms.

It made sense. Kiri had lost much of its power after the civil war and the loss of both the Sanbi and Rokubi. Of course Mei would be looking to recruit a new Jinchuuriki. Especially considering it didn't take her long to notice Naruto wasn't appreciated, she would reasonably think he would ponder her offer. And who cared if the ANBU had listened? Superficially, the Hokage couldn't find anything wrong with a fellow diplomat being friendly with their Jinchuuriki.

I wonder what would happen if I accepted? There would surely be… consequences…

Naruto snorted, banished these thoughts from his mind, and waited for Yugao to show up.

A/N: for the reviews I received, I would like to point out Naruto is still a teenager. It took Batman years of training and gadgets to reach his current level of skill. Naruto started training younger, but he doesn't have the experience of fighting super-villains for years. At least yet.

I would like to say Atlas will not be a harem, with the teasing being for the most part, well, humor. Naruto will settle with one girl in the end.

Apophis is the name of a giant snake of Egyptian Mythology, which repeatedly attempts to eat the sun and often cause eclipses. For the Dragon under the snakes' cave, before it is asked, no, Naruto won't ever summon a dragon. I was simply expanding on the snakes' background. The legend about snakes turning into dragons must come from somewhere.

When you think about it, the 'One Thousand Years of Death' technique could be considered sexual harassment. Imagine if you were on the receiving end of it.

Next chapter will be the beginning of the invasion. Be prepared for a lot of fireworks, twists, character development, and awesome moments.

Would kindly leave a review? The more feedback, the better it helps me improve.