Here I am...
You'll never be able to understand my shock when I read the title of the season finale of the real GA: DEATH AND ALL ITS FRIENDS.
Coincidence is strucking...
There is no other way to say...
I can't believe it
Choices
Since we are kids we learn to choose: pick the doll or the teddy bear, eat the candy or the ice cream.
Date the blond guy or the dark haired one.
Growing up choices become harder than this.
You need to decide what you want to do of your life, if loving or letting go, if accept job offers or live your life easily.
But sometimes the choice is even more critical: you have to decide if challenging death or peacefully waiting for it.
It's morning and Richard enters Derek's room. He has spent his whole night there and seen how difficult it was on him. Derek has dark circles around his eyes and is very pale.
Richard: hey… I hoped you were sleeping.
Derek: I can't… I fell asleep sometimes but always woke up for something (he is clutching the sheets, his eyes are prickling at the corners and Richard realizes he must be in pain. His breath is hollow, it comes out like a gasp)
Richard: we should sedate you…
Derek: no… I… no. Don't. Please.
Richard: Derek…. (he sits on his bed) I know I have been awful to you… for a lot of time but… please talk to me (silence is broken only by Derek's heavy breath). Have you made up your mind about surgery?
Derek: no… not yet. I want to take some time to think about it.
Richard: Derek… I know how you feel…
Derek: do you? (his voice is calm, but cold, Webber is taken aback) Excuse me Richard but I don't think you can get it (he looks around and his eyes are watering). I had a man kneeled on me, he kept hitting me and I could feel my bones breaking and my flesh tearing apart. And all I could think about was that I was grateful to God for that violence. I hoped he went on and on raging on me. As every stab he took, I hoped he would have felt satisfied. And leave my wife safe. If I think it could have been her, I …. (he closes his eyes and a single tear rolls down his cheek)... That's how I feel. When he told me he went after Meredith, I was scared out of my mind. His eyes were wild and he kept saying things on her, he talked senseless that it was her fault. I think he was hallucinating … he said it was her who had convinced him …. I think he was seeing his wife. I… (he closes his eyes and Richard realizes he can hardly breathe)
Richard: Derek… you need to calm down… This is not doing good for you. Breathe in, come on (Derek lifts his hands to cover his face and slowly relaxes). What I was trying to say is that you lived a dreadful experience, it's normal to be upset. And wanting to spend some time with your wife. But it's your life we are talking about. The more we wait, the more it will hard on you.
Derek: I know that but… I only want some more time to spend with her and… I have some matter to settle.
Richard: what are you talking about?
Derek: I will tell you when it's time (Richard stands up to leave)
Richard: try to rest… (he goes to the door)
Derek: Richard…
Richard: yes?
Derek: in the first drawer of the desk there is a business card. Mr. Wat's card. Can you ask him to come here today?
Richard: ok…
Cristina, Alex, Avery and Reed join the resident lounge all together. Each of them approach the locker to find an envelope sticking out of it.
Cristina: what the hell is this?
Reed: I hope not a firing letter
Alex: all together? Not possible (Avery is the first to open it)
Avery: it's the letter who invites us to choose our specialty…
Cristina: what? (she frantically opens her destroying the envelope). Oh God… we have one week…
Reed: it says the attendings have written a report on us. "It's at your disposal at the chief's office".
Alex: crap…
Cristina: what?
Alex: I thought I would have cleared up my mind by now but….
Avery: you don't know where you want to go? Cheers… you are not the only one.
Reed: that's not the only problem….
Avery: isn't it?
Reed: no… the fact is that even if your head is clear, top department has limited spots. Cardio 1, General 2, Neuro 1, Trauma 1. The others will be diverted on Peds, Plastics, GYM and ortho.
Cristina: I'd give up if I had to be stuck in Pediatrics forever…
Reed: as if you risked it…. I guess Trauma head will be more than happy to take you on board
Avery: what do you mean?
Reed: surprise… surprise … She is with Hunt
Avery: what? (Bailey appears on the door)
Bailey: do I have to bring you coffee or you are done with the chatting? (they put their letters in the locker and turn to look at her) So you have received your letters…. Good. Let me give you some tips. As you well know, many departments have limited space for new entries. This does not imply you can't make a request to be accepted. You can indicate 3 choices on the form, in decreasing liking. Once all the letters are collected, the chief will open them at the presence of the attendings. And they will decide all together according to objective and irreproachable parameters. Everything is clear?
Alex: more or less
Bailey: what? (she shakes her head) Do I have to make a draw or express this concept manually?
Alex: no… I mean… who is the chief? Who will supervise this?
Bailey: the Board is deciding. When I know, I'll tell you. Today it looks a quite day. You can update your charts and talk with the attendings. See you on the floor (she goes away. Alex and Reed go too. Cristina stands up from the bench. She makes some step to the exit when feels a tight grip on her wrist. She turns around to find Avery looking at her)
Cristina: what?
Avery: was it Hunt? When I kissed you and you told me you were involved… was it him?
Cristina: why do you care? (she leaves)
Owen arrives in front of men toilets to find a sign inviting to use women's. He breaths out and then enters the toilet looking left and right to be sure anyone is in. He is washing his hands at the sink when the door slams open and someone runs into the first cubicle to throw up. Owen turns around to see Meredith coming out from the bathroom. She looks up and notices Owen.
Owen: men's toilet is off. The sign told to come here… Are you ok?
Meredith: yes… I have a headache and…. (a new wave of nausea hits her and she goes back emptying her stomach. When she turns around she finds Owen behind Owen with a handkerchief in his hands. Her cheeks are blushed and he stares puzzled at her). What?
Owen: nothing… How is Derek?
Meredith: he is… dull (she looks up and Owen sees she can't stop tears). I don't…
Owen: Meredith (he puts his hands on her shoulders rubbing them)… I know it's hard but…
Meredith: do you think Teddy can do it? The surgery… without…
Owen: she is good… She'll do everything she can…
Mark is entering the elevator in the hall. He pushes the button to the surgery floor when one hand stops the closing door. Nancy and Katherine go in.
Nancy: hey… look who is here…. Grandpa…
Katherine: nobody has told us the great news (Mark keeps looking down). What, are you mad at us?
Mark: I am…
Nancy: what for?
Mark: because, after all these years and all these children of yours, you are still the old witches you used to be.
Katherine: ouch…. Where does this come from?
Nancy: never mind… I apologized to your teen aged girlfriend. She is cute… by the way
Katherine: I find funny you and Derek could become brothers in law. I guess he was happy when he knew…
Mark: he almost killed me… And it's not a metaphor. We bit the crap out of each others.
Katherine: why?
Mark: he didn't believe I was serious. He thought I was just screwing around.
Nancy: and you were?
Mark: maybe at the beginning… it was the heat… the forbidden fruit…. Then I fell for her.
Katherine: that's good… This brings us back to your daughter… Does Mum know?
Mark: No (the doors open and he leaves the elevator)
Richard is back in Derek's office. He is sitting on the chair behind the desk. In front of him the card Derek asked him to find. Bailey enters the door and stops right after it.
Richard: that's not our office. We should stop to go in and out like it was (his voice is a bit harsh).
Bailey: Is everything fine?
Richard: no (he takes the card in his fingers and waves it). Derek has just asked me to call a lawyer. He wants to meet him today.
Bailey: so?
Richard: you don't get it? He hasn't decided about surgery yet… He talks like he is going to die… he is scared and has closed in a place I can't get him… I can't stand to see him like this…
Bailey: do you want me to try to talk to him?
Richard: you can but… I think this was too much on him…
Bailey: maybe he just needs some time
Richard: it's the only thing we haven't… (Richard looks out of the office. The flag is waving high, the day is sunny)
Bailey: the residents received the letters this morning. All but Meredith. Maybe someone would like to talk to you…
Richard: I'll be on the floor in ten minutes (Bailey goes out and Richard picks up the phone. Looking at the card, he dials the number)
Cristina sees Teddy in a conference room, alone. On the walls, the lightened images of some scans.
Teddy is sitting at the table, she is writing some note and Cristina goes in without Altman notices. She gets closer to the scans. She finally recognizes the images of a spot near a heart's patient.
Cristina: crap…. (Teddy looks up and stares at Cristina)
Teddy: I didn't realize you were here….
Cristina: I've just come in… Are these Sheperd's scans? (Teddy exhales and nods. She rubs her fingers on her forehead, she looks distant) Has he decided to do the surgery then?
Teddy: not yet… but it's just a matter of time. If he doesn't make up his mind alone, we will bring him in after…
Cristina: what? After he codes? Is he crazy? He can't wait anymore with that thing in his chest (she points to the image)
Teddy: the choice is not on us, Dr. Yang. He perfectly knows the risks of waiting.
Cristina: so why doing it?
Teddy: because he knows as well the risks of surgery. He could not survive it. If it was on me, I'd have doubts too (she looks down)
Cristina: are you scared?
Teddy: wouldn't you?
Cristina: if my surgeon was, then I'd be. You can't go to Derek with that puppy face! It means "I'm sorry I'm the one who is gonna kill you". You need to believe this is going to work, you need to have confidence. If you don't, how can he? (Teddy stands up and gets closer to Cristina)
Teddy: do you think confidence can take this stuff out of his chest without stopping his heart for the third time? Because that's the point here: he has already endured a tough surgery. He coded and we could take him back by the skin of his teeth. And I don't know if we could do that again. So… yes…. I'm afraid (she picks the scans and goes away)
Owen is about to enter Derek's room when a man, elegantly dressed, goes out. They cross on the door and the man smiles at him shyly. Owen goes in.
Owen: who was that?
Derek: my attorney
Owen: oh…. how did the night go?
Derek: any spare question?
Owen: maybe you should reconsider the sedating thing…
Derek: maybe you should stop saying me this. I know what I want to do (Owen is taken aback by Derek's harshness) I'm sorry…. I'm exhausted and touchy. I didn't mean to be rude.
Owen: forget it (he sits on the bed). I met Meredith in the women's bathroom this morning. She told me you haven't decided yet
Derek: it's true. And how are you attending women's toilets now?
Owen: ours were off.
Derek: so…. Your leave of absence?
Owen: it can wait. Till you are fine.
Derek: or I'm dead
Owen: Sheperd… You don't have to say this
Derek: it's more than possible. You know that…
Owen: it could happen but Teddy is ready. She is good, she can do this. She has even asked the consult of someone you know pretty well: Dr. Burke.
Derek: and what did he say?
Owen: not to wait anymore. What's wrong Derek? You are one of the best surgeons in the world, you are one of the most rational and sensitive doctors I know. I know it's difficult when you are at the opposite side of the barricade but…. It's the best shot you have. You know it. You are stressed, you are in pain and you can't imagine to face another surgery but you did it the first time. I wouldn't have bet on it. I had almost given up on you. But Bailey didn't. She messaged your heart until it started pumping again. And you are here. You are a fighter. Plus… I need you if I want to have some more romantic dinner with Cristina. She wouldn't do that stuff without Meredith.
Derek: she loves you…. (Derek looks up at him for the first time) She really does. I've never seen her so taken before.
Owen: You don't know how much this scares me.
Derek: you don't have to be afraid. Things will straighten up. You look calmer than before. Even if you didn't leave, you look much more better
Owen: I am… and you'll be too
Reed join Avery at the nurses station. He is reading a chart absent minded.
Reed: it's a cemetery today…
Avery: yeah… I'm checking on this chart for the tenth time.
Reed: is it interesting?
Avery: no…. just an appendix. But it's all what I have (he puts the chart back in its place)
Reed: are you hungry?
Avery: not so much
Reed: oh…. I was going to the cafeteria by the way. Maybe later something will happen and I want to be ready.
Avery: I'll come with you (they walk to the cafeteria and cross Cristina. Avery lingers on her before going ahead)
Reed: is there something I need to know?
Avery: about what?
Reed: about the longing glare you have just sent her… (they join the cafeteria and start to queue)
Avery: longing glare? No… I was just thinking about specialties… (they pay and see Alex sitting alone. They join him and without asking take place)
Reed: have you cleared up your mind?
Avery: more or less. I think I'll go for general after all.
Reed: really? I thought you liked trauma.
Avery: no… that's yours (she is about to speak) Don't pretend… And you? (Alex looks up, a sandwich in his hands)
Alex: I haven't decided yet. I have spent some time in gym squad…
Reed: excuse me?
Alex: in the first year. I worked a lot with Montgomery.
Avery: her reputation is stainless. And she is a dish.
Reed: they had to be a wonderful couple… She and Sheperd…
Alex: I didn't like them that much… Maybe it's just because of Meredith but… they were too different…
Reed: how? I mean… they were married for 15 years… how could they be that different?
Alex: they were young… Sheperd is outdoors, easy and Idealist. He was and is really sensitive to obligations. Addison was sophisticated, snob. And kind of libertine.
Avery: ha ha…. (he looks at Alex knowingly)
Alex: what?
Avery: I guess I know why you went into gym squad…. (Reed looks up stunned and looks at Alex)
Alex: so? What are you, jealous?
Avery: no… So you slept with Montgomery and have a soft spot for gym… What then?
Alex: I like plastics but I didn't screw Sloan.
Reed: just his girlfriend….
Avery: that is why he'll never pick you.
Jennings is waiting for Webber in a conference room. Richard finally comes.
Jennings: Dr. Webber…
Richard: hi…
Jennings: how is Sheperd?
Richard: weak and walking on a edge. He should have another surgery in a short time.
Jennings: I'll go to say hi later…
Richard: no… don't.
Jennings: but…
Richard: I know you have good intentions but, really, don't. We have to give him time and space. He needs to be on his own for a while.
Jennings: ok…. So… I think you know why I wanted to meet you.
Richard: I can imagine it.
Jennings: we need to fill the position, Richard. We are going to meet in 2 hours and I need to know what I have to tell to the other members.
Richard: you have to tell them that Sheperd will be out of the game for a lot of time. You need to re adjust. Plus, this is a very important period for residents. They have to pick their specialty and the new chief will oversee this procedure. You need to find someone the Board trusts, but the attending and residents respect too. And, looking who is around, this will not be easy.
Jennings: is that all you can tell me?
Richard: it is (his pager beeps and Webber leaves the room)
Meredith is out of Derek's room. She is staring at him through the glass. Derek's mum joins her.
Mrs. Sheperd: Meredith… (she rubs her back) I've been looking for you everywhere.
Meredith: I'm sorry….
Mrs. Sheperd: don't be…. (she looks in the room too) He hasn't decided yet (Meredith breaths out without answering).
Meredith: do you think he is scared? (she looks at her and Derek's mum realizes she is crying) I… I have never seen him like this before. He doesn't react, he is there waiting for… I don't know. I know he must be shocked but…. I thought he would have fought… I thought… he would have tried… He has to… He can't leave us without… (she starts sobbing and Mrs. Sheperd hugs her tightly)
Mrs. Sheperd: he is scared, Meredith… He will never say it but… he is scared to leave the both of you behind. He saw how much I suffered when his dad died… He'd never want to put you through this… more than everything not now that the child he has always dreamt of is coming… (Meredith does not fight her hug). You need to talk to him. You are the only one who can (Mrs. Sheperd's leaves Meredith free from her embrace but puts her hands on her cheeks. Meredith is still crying) Will you do it? (Meredith nods and looks at the room again) Ok…. Go collect yourself… I will keep him company in the while (she goes in, Meredith lingers behind the glass. Richard, from the nurses station, stares at her).
Cristina is laying in an on call room. She is staring dully at the ceiling. Owen enters the door and she looks at him.
Owen: hei… slow day?
Cristina: yeah… You?
Owen: not better than yours… (he sits on the opposite bed) So you received the forms this morning…
Cristina: yep…
Owen: I guess you have already filled yours…
Cristina: no (from the coldness and the decision of her refusal, Owen gets there is something wrong). I want to take some more time…
Owen: time? I don't understand…. Cardio is your life…
Cristina: it was… now I don't know
Owen: Cristina…
Cristina: I am a bit scared…
Owen: they won't pick you?
Cristina: no, it's not that. I know if I apply I'll get it but… I feel like my perspectives have changed… and I like it…. The change. If I go into cardio… maybe the old Cristina will come back roaring and I don't want… if it means to lose you (Owen is stunned, his lips open in a grimace of surprise)
Owen: would you give up on cardio for me?
Cristina: I think I could do it.
Owen: you don't…. I mean, you can't. I remember the first day we talked in this very on call room. You told me why you had become a doctor. You told me why you wanted to be a cardio surgeon. And I loved it. I loved the enthusiasm radiating from you, I loved your eyes sparkling…. I can't be the one switching it off. You don't need to choose. I don't want you to choose. I could never forget myself. And then? What will you do? Gym? You'd scare babies before they were born and peds… seriously? You'd scare them more.
Cristina: I'd not. I can be nice, if I want.
Owen: that I know (she lifts up quickly and gets near him)
Cristina: and I can be sweet…
Owen: I know that too (Cristina lays a hand on Owen's chest and pushed him down to the bed. She follows him and catches his lips with hers) But you can be bad too… (he rolls till he is over her. Their eyes lock and he kisses her)
Alex is wandering on the surgical floor. He finally decides to go into a lab to practice. He takes a cast and starts to model a nose. Mark passes out of the door and notices him. He leans against the doorpost and looks at his doing. Alex gives a rough blow and the cast breaks.
Mark: ahhh… (a grimace of pain paints his face. Alex turns to see him). You'd have broken all the bones… You have to be more delicate (Alex throws the hammer away)
Alex: I was just….
Mark: it's ok… (he sits near him and takes the tools in his hands. He starts working) You see? This must not be violent… This is sculpture, art…. A tender caress, not a kick in the balls…
Alex: you made it clear…
Mark: what?
Alex: that's not my job….
Mark: no… Why? Won't you pick plastics?
Alex: as if I had hopes to be picked…
Mark: you haven't?
Alex: stop taking fun of me… it's not good to my ego (he looks up at Mark who is staring back at him) You are not?
Mark: no… I told you are good at this. You need to practice but… we are here for this, aren't we?
Alex: have you always known plastics was your way?
Mark: yes… since I saw a pair of boobs (they both laugh). I hold the power to make people beautiful, to make them just like they want, to change things. It's fulfilling. But if you want to find power elsewhere… I'll have more boobs for me (Meredith appears at the door, slightly out of breath)
Meredith: Alex… (both men turn to see her, Alex notices her puffy eyes)
Alex: Mer… are you ok?
Meredith: yeah… I need your help… now. Can you?
Alex: sure (he stands up and, nodding to Mark, leaves. Meredith turns around to go)
Mark: Derek, has he consented to surgery? (Meredith turns around)
Meredith: no… not yet…. But he will after this (she leaves. Alex is waiting for her in the corridor)
Alex: what can I do?
Meredith: a scan
Alex: excuse me? (Meredith takes his hand and leads him to a free room. Alex notices an eco is already there. Meredith lays on the bed and lifts her shirt. She puts some gel on her belly. Alex follows her movements stunned)
Meredith: I need to convince Derek to try the surgery. His conditions are worsening rapidly and… (tears pool in her eyes)
Alex: what do you want me to do? (he takes the sensors)
Meredith: just check the baby is fine. I'll do the rest (she leans to the backrest and closes her eyes. She flinches when the sensor touches her skin and starts to move)
Alex: here it is… Everything seems to be fine… The heart is hammering… I'll turn the volume on so that you can hear it (he stretches his hand to the controls)
Meredith: no! Don't…. I…. it's ok. It was what I needed. It's on me now (she stands up and pushes the scan equipment out of the room. She nearly bumps into Bailey)
Bailey: what the hell…. Grey! What are you doing?
Meredith: I can't tell you now… Please… (Bailey just nods and Meredith disappears with the machine. She pushes it down the corridor till she arrives in front of Derek's room. She bangs the door open and approaches the bed)
Derek: hei… what are you doing?
Meredith: I'm showing you something… (she settles the screen in front of Derek and takes the sensor. She turns around the bed pulling the chair with her. She sits lifting her legs on the bed. She lifts her shirt and Derek's face lightens up in surprise)
Derek: Mer…
Meredith: shut up and look there (she turns his head towards the screen. As soon as she lays the sensor on her belly, the images of their baby fill the screen) Daddy… I am happy to introduce you to our McPeanut (tears fill her eyes watching the miracle in front of her. She looks down at Derek who is crying silently too. She realizes his breath is heavy) And you know what? He or she can talk too…. (she pushes a button and the baby's heart beat, loud and hammering, fills the room. Derek is speechless. He can't take his eyes away from the screen. Meredith feels his hand closing around hers. She waits some more seconds before lifting her hand. Both images and sound stop) So Daddy… I know this is much on you… You are hurting… but we need you. We need you to make it. You have to pick the chance of living Derek because God knows how much I love you and need you. I can't stay here seeing you … fading under my very eyes. You can do it, you are strong. Even if you feel drained, you can find the nerve to do it and to fight this (Meredith is crying). Just do it… for me … for us (Derek looks up at her and nods. Tears are streaming down his cheeks too. Meredith smiles and kisses him). I'll go inform Richard…. (she is standing up but Derek stops him. Their eyes lock and Meredith sees a need in Derek's, a wish. She handles him the sensor and goes back sitting. Derek puts the sensor on her belly again. Images and sound refill the room. He pats the night stand looking for something)
Meredith: Derek? (he does not answer. He finds his cell and, without saying anything, pushes the audio record button. He then relaxes completely. His hand still holding Meredith's)
Outside the room Richard joins Bailey. He takes a look in and a frown appears on his face.
Richard: what are they doing?
Bailey: listening to their baby… (Richard turns to look down at her)
Richard: baby? Oh my God… do you mean that Meredith is….
Bailey: fantastically…. happily… wonderfully pregnant….
Richard: did you know?
Bailey: I had growing suspects but…
Richard: now I get everything…
Bailey: get what?
Richard: Derek… I…. (he swallows and Bailey looks at him)
Bailey: ok…… (she takes the door knob but Richard stops her) What?
Richard: give them some privacy…
Bailey: he called me (she pushes the door and they both go in, stopping in front of the bed)
Richard: so… I guess congratulations are in order
Meredith: thank you (Derek is speechless, still mesmerized)
Derek: you can do it… surgery I mean…. (he takes his eyes off the screen. They are red and puffy). We can try… (Meredith stands up from the chair, she turns around the bed and pushes the ECO cart in a corner. Derek seems disappointed but she bends on him and kisses him passionately. Both Bailey and Richard look embarrassed as the kiss does not stop, their lips are stick)
Bailey: Grey…. You are raising his pressure… (Meredith breaks the kiss to look Derek in the eyes. Bailey notices Derek's body tensing) And not just his pressure I' d say…. (Meredith looks down on him to see his groin tensing)
Meredith: seriously? (her giggle fills the room and Derek can't help but smiling at the wonderful sound) You wave the flag under your child's nose?
Derek: McPeanut is not watching right now… and finally… it's good to see something still works… (he rubs his eyes with both hands. Even if the day has offered him a lot of good surprises and the overwhelming emotion of hearing his child for the first time, Derek seems really exhausted)
Bailey: ok… so we'll book an OR for tomorrow morning…
Meredith: I go and tell others. I'll be back in ten minutes (she leaves running, Bailey's pager beeps)
Bailey: I'll be back too (she leaves the two men alone. Richard sits near Derek's bed. He is still covering his eyes, his arms are shaking for tiredness and exhaustion. Webber realizes he is trying to hide his tears)
Richard: Derek…
Derek: just leave me alone Richard, please… (Richard takes his wrists and pulls his hands away. He is panting)
Richard: you need to calm down… Breathe, slowly…. (Derek breaths in and out. He closes his eyes because pain is throbbing through his wounds and ribs. He is sweating) Again… Come on…. I know you are scared. And now I get why. You are afraid to leave Meredith and not to have the chance to meet your baby. But this… this Derek will be your further motivation… Now you know there's nowhere else you want to be. Pain is much… it's cruel… it's stressing you…. But you'll come back here to your wife and your child. You'll not give up. We won't give up on you. I promise…
Derek: don't do it Richard… Don't make promises you are not sure you can keep….
Richard: I promise that if you are ready to fight… if you won't bend to all this, I'd not do it either. I'll drive you through surgery (Derek wipes his tears away and nods. Meredith comes back into the room with Derek's mum. Richard leaves and, standing outside the door, sees they're looking at the baby again. He smiles and goes back to Derek's office where he has left his coat in the morning. When he goes in, he notices Mr. Jennings sitting on the couch. He looks up when hears the door closing)
Jennings: Richard… I was waiting for you…
Richard: what have you decided (he goes behind the desk to take his coat)?
Jennings: the whole board, unanimously, has decided to accept Sheperd's request (Richard turns around abruptly)
Richard: excuse me? (Jennings pulls an envelope out of his jacket's pocket)
Jennings: I went to the meeting today… with few ideas and many doubts… but this letter arrived this morning… and…. (he smiles to himself) You were right, you know… It took me five minutes to understand who Derek Sheperd is. This was the answer. This was his answer. He is really a man of honour. Tomorrow the new chief starts the job. I won't take a no as an answer (he leaves dropping the envelope on the desk. Richard sits on one of the chairs in front of the table and pulls the letter out. His look runs on the lines and his expression is the image of surprise. His lips move silently)
Richard: "I know it's not a long time, but Richard Webber has gained his self consciousness back. He is back to be an amazing surgeon and an unreachable leader. He helped me many times in these months to handle difficult situations and medical emergencies. That's why I think he is ready to resume his position.
I'm grateful for the occasion you gave me and I hope to have fulfilled your expectations.
With respects
Derek Sheperd "
He rolls the letter into a ball and throws it in the bin. Then hides his face in his hands.
The difficult to accept is that every choice has its pros and cons.
(It's night, Richard is still in Derek's office)
You can't know if you did right until it is too late to come back.
So, sometimes, it's better to live the moment: after the choice is made and the world stay still.
(Meredith is asleep on the couch. Derek has his cell near the ear and listens to the baby's heart beat. His eyes are closed, a little smile wrinkles his lips)
Then, you'll have the time to be sorry.
(Cristina sleeps in Owen's arms)
To regret.
Or to be thankful for the rest of your life