EDITED! This revising is actually starting to become hard work... but it gives me something to do. Not a lot of changes, but I did find a few references to an ex-boyfriend that were promptly deleted and will be deleted from any other chapter I find them in.
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HELLO LOYAL READERS AND NEW COMERS!
Jak: Wow...Her last red eye was three hours ago and yet she still seems as though she's on a high...
Ok people, from now on actions will be in (brackets), since nothing else seems to work. Get it, got it? Good.
Jak: You're a very strange girl...
About time you noticed.
Jak: I'm just gonna... do the disclaimer and ignore you... Dark Eco Angel owns nothing, Naughty Dog does but I'm certain there would be a very obvious reason for it being called that if DEA did own my world... and I (Runs away at the thought).
Isn't he a sweetie? Anyways a big shout out to my reviewers, this story would never have come this far without you, I love you guys (tear, sniff)
Torn: Can I come out from under here? It's hot and Kleiver is getting closer!
Kleiver: Torn, where are ya? I need ya tah help me clean my ass and change me nappy!
Ok, I see why I should untie you, I don't even wanna think about... that...
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May the Best Hybrid Win
Daxter and Pecker stood in one of Haven's many alleys.
"Ready to lose yet another fight, ottsel?" asked Pecker rhetorically.
Daxter replied by sticking his tongue out and saying "You can't tell because of the bandages but I have a specific finger up at you right now."
...:::::FLASHBACK:::::...
Pecker grabbed Daxter's foot, forcing Dax to topple to the ground in a heap.
"Never accuse me of flirting with Tess again!"
Daxter flipped back to his feet and began to grapple with Pecker in a weird parody of a wrestling match."I wouldn't have if you weren't complimenting her eyes, hair and ass AND smelling her!"
"OK, OK! when you put it that way it sounds bad, but what about when you tried to hug Onin!" retorted Pecker in his accent as he threw a punch, which Daxter swiftly dodged.
"1. I was wasted. 2. She's not your girlfriend 3. I emphasis the TRIED, She didn't let me touch her 'cause she was busy comin' on to ol' greenie," Daxter pointed out as he tried to get Pecker on the floor so he could get on top of him and claim the upper hand.
"Good point, But I'm still going to whoop your ass because this is now cutting into MY siesta time!" With one last, almighty movement, Pecker flew into the air, dive bombed Daxter and knocked him out cold, fracturing his arm on impact.
...:::::END FLASHBACK:::::...
"Let's make this fair and use only our tails" Reasoned Pecker, eyeing Daxter's arm with pride.
Daxter spat on the ground "May the best hybrid win."
Pecker flew into Daxter and wrapped his prehensile tail feathers around Daxter's compact, fuzzy body. Daxter in turn wrapped his tail around Peckers glossy feathers and squeezed hard, feeling angry at how close he was to Pecker yet at the same time satisfied at the shocked look that had come over Peckers face. He hadn't known how much strength was in Daxter's tail.
Pecker realised how his face looked and quickly rearranged it into twisted hatred and decided to throw Daxter off his game by confusing him... he grabbed Daxter's arse.
Daxter yelped and in an even bigger rage squeezed the breath out of Pecker's lungs. Pecker fell, motionless, to the floor where he would not wake up for several hours.
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"I love you baby, and if it's quite alright I need you baby, don't want a lonely night, I need you baby... Let me love you, baby..." sang Erol at the top of his voice to the picture of Jak opposite the shower as he washed the conditioner out of his hair.
He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He kissed the picture of Jak and whispered "In time, my love, in time you will be able to join me."
Erol pulled on his new boxer shorts, which had a picture of Ashelin lying dead on the ground in a pool of blood and another picture of Keira bending over a zoomer that she was fixing. The text read: "One down, one to go until I can make Jak my own"
Erol decided to go see Ms. Clark and get another pair of boxers to try and catch Jak's eye.
"Welcome back Erol, You have been gone for about five hours, a record, is it not?" greeted Ms. Clark. "So what do you want on tomorrow's boxers? Did you bring me more pictures of Jak to play around with on my photo shopping program? Perhaps, dare I suggest, we do a nude shot?"
Erol drooled at that last sentence, but he already had an idea, he would do that idea tomorrow, and possibly the day after that...
"I wish to do something that will appeal to Jak and make him look at my tight butt in the hope that he will fall in love with me." Erol said this as though it was pure logic and not at all disturbing or ridiculous.
"Very well, might I suggest a picture of the mechanic's breasts?" suggested Ms. Clark.
"What, Kleiver's moobs? We all know they aren't real! Totally plastic!" pointed out Erol as though this was common knowledge, completely forgetting Keira.
"Oh yes, I guess you are right..." Apparently Ms. Clark had forgotten Keira as well.
"I was thinking more along the lines of a picture of my own ass, so when he sees the lovely picture of it, he will ask who's it is, when I tell him that it's mine he will want to see it to make sure that it really is mine, then he will fall in love with it, and then me." Explained Erol, apparently this plan made sense to him. "The ass goes on the back; on the front I would like a huge picture of Jak. The background colour shall be hot pink...Tinted with baby pink... yeah that should be eye catching..."
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In Dead Town, near the door back into Haven, Daxter was collecting Butchy Boys (A/N: if you don't know what I mean, PM me about it... or Google it.) in an empty Coke can. There was still a few drops left so some of them drowned while the others stood on their bodies out of reach of the fizzing liquid.
Once he was satisfied that he had collected enough, he told Jak, who had just finished kicking metal-arse, that he thought they should go to the Naughty Ottsel for a drink.
"Want some?" Daxter questioned when they arrived at their destination. He held the can out hopefully, Jak took it.
"Nah, you can have the rest, there's hardly anything in there!" Jak pointed out, weighing the can with a giant scale that appeared out of nowhere. Daxter laughed like a maniac and tipped the can upside down. About thirty Butchy Boys spilled out; Jak was shocked but laughed and joined Daxter in squishing them.
Jak suddenly realised something, "You were gonna have me eat them!"
"No I wasn't! I would have told you at the last mom-" But Daxter never got to finish his explanation as Jak tipped the remaining few, unfortunate, dead butchy Boys all over his head, some got stuck Daxter's fur.
Jak laughed like a maniac, before he saw Erol bending over and exposing his newest boxer shorts from underneath the cardboard box he was wearing.
"Why! Why? WHY do you do this to me? Jak demanded of the author, but she was already sitting down with Erol, planning his next outfit.
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The next day, our battle hardened hero was putting new locks on his door.
Torn randomly wandered past with his pet rock and made Jak remember that Keira was having an affair with that skinny bastard.
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Jak walked into the Naughty Ottsel, he wore all his weaponry as if putting them on show.
He walked up to the bar where he was served by Tess.
"So, Tess, wanna swing by my place later tonight and uhh...Have an affair with me?" Jak went straight to the point.
Tess slapped him...five times.
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"Oh woe is me, woe is me! Whatever shall I do?" Jak melodramatically asked the author, "If only I was any bit in character I might kick thy ass of Torn by this present time, but alas, I fear Keira's love for me may be fading!"
"Well, Tess didn't wanna have an affair with you...but we have a faithful reviewer who does..." the author told him.
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In a dark closet somewhere in the back of the Naughty Ottsel, Vin and Kleiver were full on pashing, making out and frenching...whatever you wanna call it.
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Jak: Must have been a pretty big closet to fit KLEIVER!
yes, yes it was, ok people, this isn't one of my bests, I know that so I guess I need some fresh ideas! Keep them coming!
Jak: Yeah... that's it... let more people tell you how to torture me...This is madness! Go back and update your profile...AGAIN!
EROL!
Jak: Gotta go!
Review people, and tell me what you wanna see next!