AN: Wow we're getting pretty into the story now! Chapter 10 already! This one is kind of short but it's because it is just the direct continuation from chapter 9. Enjoy Chapter 10!
"Ella, wake up." Caroline had left shortly after Ella last night and by the time she had got back to the hotel Ella was asleep. She tried shaking her awake but to no avail. Caroline wanted an explanation as to what had happened Saturday night at Finn and Jack's apartment. She was scared for her friend. She didn't know if Finn had hurt her or done something too pushy.
Caroline went to have a shower, silently vowing to wake Ella up when she was done. It was only 10:40 but she didn't want Ella wasting her day in bed; moping for a reason Caroline still didn't know.
When she got into the shower she started going over her day with Jack. He had picked her up at the hotel right on time and they made it to the movie ten minutes before it started. They whispered to each other sometimes during the movie and passed subtle exchanges of adoration; hand holding, knee grabbing. Caroline even leaned her head on his shoulder halfway through the movie.
She didn't know why she felt so differently towards Jack all of a sudden. Maybe it was her recent realization that Finn wanted Ella and not her that had led her to have stronger feelings. The feelings were new, more intense than when she was interested in Finn.
Caroline rinsed her hair and turned off the warm water. She stepped out onto the bathmat and started shivering. The temperature in the bathroom was freezing compared to her warm shower. Caroline grabbed the towel off the back of the door and wrapped it around her quickly. She plugged in her hair dryer and let the hot air warm her up again.
The sound of Caroline's hair dryer echoed in the hotel room and Ella woke up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She had cried when she had returned to the hotel and her eyes were still puffy from the tears she had shed. She was confused; why was she so upset that Finn had said he loved her? Didn't she want to be loved? Especially by Finn?
"Morning, sleeping beauty," Caroline said, walking into the hotel room, fully dressed in track pants and a thick hoodie and still shivering.
"Morning. Your hair dryer woke me up or I would've slept longer."
"How are you feeling?" Caroline asked cautiously.
"What do you mean?" Ella walked to the dresser to get her phone out of one of the drawers. She turned it on and carried it with her as she went to sit in a cushioned chair at the hotel room desk.
"I mean, you ran out of their apartment so fast I barely saw you run by. What did Finn do?"
"He didn't do anything. We went to their office and were sitting on the couch in there and he invited me to his band's gig." Caroline sat silent, surprised by Ella being so quick to explain what happened. "Then I just, I had this urge inside me that had been building up all week long and I couldn't help myself. He was sitting right there, his lips ready." Ella blushed ferociously as she continued.
"We started making out and I loved it, Car. I loved the feeling of his arms around me, holding me close. I took his shirt off and just as things were getting really heated he told me he had fallen in love with me."
"Oh. My. God. Oh my God! Ella! That's so amazing!" Caroline squealed, jumping up and down in place.
"No, it's not. Because it can't be true, Caroline."
"Why not?"
"Because he can't love me. Not me. I'm not a lovable person, okay? And he can't just say that and get my hopes up because I know it can't be true. It just can't."
"Ella, why do you put yourself down so much?
"I'm not. It's the truth, Caroline. People don't just love me. Nobody ever has and nobody ever will," Ella said matter-of-factly.
"Stop pitying yourself, Ella. God. You act like nobody loves you but you have your dad, and your grand-parents and me. And even though you two hate each other, Ryan cares about you. He loves you too, as his sister. Just because your mom doesn't love you like she should doesn't mean nobody else loves you or cares about you."
Ella nodded silently, holding back her tears with all her might. Maybe Finn really did love her, as hard as it was to believe. She needed to apologize to him. But not today. Not now. She needed more time to relax her mind and her heart.
"Okay, now that that pity party is over, what do you want to do today?" Caroline asked.
Ella didn't answer. She had gotten a text from Tasha asking if she'd want to go to a mall with her and Jane. Ella put the phone on the table and quickly got dressed and ready for the day. She left her phone in their hotel room as the girls headed down to get breakfast.
"Morning, Caroline. Ella," Ryan called the girls over to his table where he was eating breakfast with John and Luke. Ella groaned inwardly, hating herself for kissing Luke and John.
"Good morning. What are you guys doing today? We need a little inspiration," Caroline said as the two sat down to join the boys.
"Mrs. Anchory told us there's this temporary fun-fair thing up somewhere near Hyde Park so we were going to go check it out. You guys could join us, if you wanted to," Luke said, smiling at Ella. She rolled her eyes at him, then turned to Caroline, "Are you going to go, Car?"
"Yeah aren't you?"
"Well Tasha asked me to go to the mall with her and Jane."
"Oh. I get it. Go. It's not like it's the nicest day we've had so far."
"But I'd rather go with you guys than go to some stupid mall."
"Really?" John said sarcastically. "I thought girls loved going to the mall."
"Shut up, John. Are you really going to come, Ella?" Luke said, coming to her defense.
"Yeah, if Caroline wants me to."
"Of course, Ell."
"Good, then I'll come. I better go have a shower though." Ella stood to leave but Luke grabbed her arm to keep her at the table. She shook his hand off, glaring at him.
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast first?"
"I'm not hungry. And why do you care anyway?" she snapped.
"I was just looking out for you. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He grinned up at her but she just walked away, ignoring John and Ryan's laughter.
"I'm glad you're coming, Ell," Caroline said quietly as they were walking to the fun-fair with the three boys.
"Me too," Luke called from ahead. Caroline apologized with her eyes, not having expected anyone to hear.
"Yeah this is the kind of thing I miss doing with you, Caroline."
The five rambunctious teenagers reached the fun-fair and headed for the ticket booth. They all bought twenty tickets each and started arguing about which ride to take on first. There were mostly booths with games and prizes but there were a few small roller coasters. They were all used to the small size of the carnival.
"Let's go on this one first, it's the biggest," Ryan said pointing to a long purple roller coaster with yellow cars.
"Alright. But it looks kind of intense," Caroline said nervously.
"Don't worry, I'm here for you, Car," Ryan said. She tried to smile but suddenly felt awkward standing next to him. She inched her way closer to Ella as they headed to join the long but quickly moving line.
"Ella, do you want to sit next to me?" Luke asked, shuffling beside her and pushing Caroline slightly closer to John and Ryan.
"Um, I," Ella looked at Caroline, expecting her to save her but Caroline had started talking to John. "Sure I guess."
"Good. I can protect you from the scary ride."
"I'm not afraid like Caroline. I can go on a stupid ride. I've ridden on worse. Like when I went to Toronto for three weeks. They have much bigger roller coasters there."
"Sure, Ella. You know you can trust me and tell me anything. What you're afraid of, even your feelings." Ella could tell Luke was trying to get Ella to talk about herself and whether or not she liked Luke the way he so obviously liked her.
"Okay. But you might not like what I have to say," she said, playing along. "I am afraid of spiders and I have no feelings whatsoever towards you."
Luke's playful expression faltered and his face turned somber. He was hurt but Ella didn't care. She didn't want him thinking they were doing something or that they were something.
"Hey, John, wanna sit together?" he called out, ignoring Ella's glares.
"Yeah, whatever," John answered, before continuing his conversation with Caroline.
"So you've never been on a roller coaster before? Seriously?" John asked Caroline, shocked.
"No. Well, I've been on Ferris wheels and bumper cars. But no, I've never been on a real roller coaster like this one." Caroline was excited that her first roller coaster ride would be in England but she wished it could be with Jack instead of John and Luke.
"Wow. Well you're going to love it. I promise." The five impatient teens reached the end of the line and started to get on to the ride. John and Luke nabbed the first two seats and Luke sat behind them with a girl none of them knew. Caroline and Ella had seats in the middle of the train and they held hands, anxiously waiting for the ride to start moving.
"That was probably the best day I've had in a long time," Caroline said when Ella and her had reached their hotel room. She spread her arms out on the bed and Ella lay down beside her, laughing in agreement.
"I'm glad I came. The mall would've been so boring." Caroline felt like all the laughter and fun they had shared that day vanished. Ella had to bring up Tasha and the day she could have enjoyed.
"Yeah," Caroline answered bluntly.
"I don't want to go to school tomorrow. What kind of vacation is this where we have to go to school every week?"
"It's not a vacation. It's an educational trip."
"Whatever. I shouldn't have to go to school at all."
"Yeah it would have been better to come in the summer. But we might've never met Finn and Jack if we did."
Ella didn't answer. She shot up off of the bed and grabbed her phone. "What's wrong?" Caroline asked, propping herself up on her elbows.
"I need to phone Finn and apologize."
"Right. I'll leave you to it." Caroline stood up and headed for the hotel room door. "No, Car, it's fine. You stay. I will go into the hallway." Ella grabbed the handle of the door before Ella could reach it and pushed her way past.
Ella closed the door quietly behind her and went to sit on a cushioned bench halfway down the hall. She went through her cell phone directory and found Finn's number. She pressed it and it started ringing in her ear. The loud rings were in sync with the loud beating of her heart.
"Hello?" Ella sighed inwardly at the sad voice that answered.
"Hi, Finn. It's Ella."
"Yeah, I know. What do you want?" His tone had changed from sad to irritated.
"I'm sorry. About last night. When I ran out of the apartment and when I freaked about what you said. I just couldn't believe that it was true and it made more sense to leave you than to get heartbroken."
"Why can't you believe that I might have actually fallen in love with you? Why is it so hard to believe?"
"Because I'm not the girl that guys like you love!" Ella felt a weight lift from her shoulders when she finally explained how she was truly feeling.
"Ella, you may not be the typical, average girl but you are the girl for me. I'm not the kind of guy that takes this whole love thing lightly. If I say that I love somebody I mean it."
"I just don't understand how you can love me."
"You're the moodiest, most stubborn loud-mouth I have ever met. You can never not talk and you always have to have your way and share your opinion. I can't say I know you like Caroline does but I can say that from what I do know about you, I love it all. I want to know the rest of you, Ella."
"I don't know what to say. Nobody's ever said they love me before. I mean, we just met, it's not possible that you love me already."
"I don't know how love works but I do know that I feel something towards you, Ella! Can't you just accept that? Or maybe that's it. You just don't want to accept that I have very strong feelings towards you."
"That's not what this is, Finn. I don't know what I'm feeling, okay? I've never been in love before," Ella said impatiently. She was supposed to just apologize and things would go back to normal.
"Can you honestly tell me that you don't feel something when you're with me?" Finn sounded desperate, liking he was grasping at the last few straws.
"No. I do. I feel like there's this fire in the pit of my stomach and every time I'm with you or I think about you it grows and grows."
Finn didn't answer and Ella was worried she had said the wrong thing. She had only said what she felt, it was only the truth.
"Finn? I-I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what? That's exactly how I feel about you, Ella."
"But what does this mean?"
"It means that we're supposed to be together."
"Finn, there's so much that could go wrong, things that don't stand in our favour."
"I don't care. I want to be with you, Ella."
"I think I want to be with you too." Ella smiled to herself. Things were finally working themselves out.
"Okay. So it's settled then. You and me, we're in this together. No matter what happens, we will try to beat the odds, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good. I have to go. I'm glad you called, Ella. I will talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay. I'm glad I called too. And Finn? I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have run. I should have stayed and talked things over."
"It's okay. I shouldn't have said it like that."
"It's not your fault."
"Let's not get into that shall we? Let's just say we're even. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ella."
"Bye, Finn."
"Oh, and Ella?" Finn said, quickly catching her before she hung up.
"Yeah?"
"Sleep well."
"You too. Bye, Finn."
"Bye, Ella." Ella hung up the phone again and headed back to their room. She walked in, put her pyjamas on and brushed her teeth, all with a big smile plastered on her faced. She got into bed while Caroline went through her nighttime rituals and Ella fell asleep instantly, thinking about Finn.