I walk into school this morning with Kurt and Mercedes by my side. After a lot of crying and thinking, I came to realize that Santana and I are really over. I just screwed up so badly and it hurts to even think about what I did to her. The only thing I can do now is let her move on. I've caused her too much pain and I can't be th source of that hurt anymore. Nothing would make me happier than to have Santana back in my arms, but spending the weekend with Kurt and Mercedes made me realize that was the problem. I keep thinking about what's going to make me happy. I haven't even thought about what would make Santana happy. Which is why I'm looking for her right now. I have to tell her that I'll back off and let her be happy. It's really the least I could do

"Rachel," Kurt says placing a hand on my shoulder "Santana is standing down the hall, but she has Quinn, Brittany, and Tanya with her. You might want to wait until she's alone."

"I don't know about that, Kurt." I say "The point of talking to her is to say goodbye and let her move on. I just want to get it over with as soon as possible."

"We've got your back,girl." Mercedes says "We'll be right here if you need us."

"Ok." I nod before I walk towards Santana

"Something we can help you with?" Quinn asks as I approach them

"I just really need to talk to Santana." I say as calm as I can,
because I really don't want to start a fight

"About what?" Brittany asks

"Whoa guys." Tanya says placing her hands on the girls shoulders "I know that Santana appreciates you having her back, but if she doesn't want to talk to Rachel then she can speak for herself."

"Ok." Quinn and Brittany say in unison before they back off

"Rachel." Santana sighs "If this is you trying to get me back, then I should tell you that I'm with Tanya now."

"It's not that, San." I assure her "I just really need to talk to you, please."

"Ok." She nods "I'll catch up with you guys later." She tells the girls and they all just nod in response "Let's go talk."

"I think the choir room is empty." I say as we walk down the hall "We could probably talk in there without someone interrupting us."

"Alright."

San and I walk to the choir room in complete silence. I have all these thoughts going through my head that I'm not sure exactly what to say to her. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to put it

"Rachel," When did we get to the choir room? "What is this about?"

"I...um..I." Say something you idiot! "I'm sorry."

"Rachel,"

"Just let me say this, please." Santana just nods before I continue "I'm so sorry for everything, Santana. I'm sorry I cheated on you when we were together. I'm sorry you ever had to go through a relationship where you didn't have me to yourself. I'm sorry I continued to call after our break up even though it was clear that you didn't want to see me. I'm sorry I tried to destroy your relationship with Tanya. But most of all, I'm sorry that I took your love for granted. I'm sorry that I really didn't appreciate you until you were gone. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made and I'll be forced to live with it for the rest of my life." I look at Santana and hope she'll say something. Anything. But, she's just standing there staring at me "Please, say something."

"I don't know what to say." Santana says before she turns her head away from me "You might not believe me, Rachel, but I already forgave you for everything."

"You did?" I ask clearly shocked and confused "How? How can you possibly forgive me after what I did to you?"

"Well, for a lot of reasons. For one I just couldn't walk around being pissed off at you for the rest of my life. That would be pretty sad and pathetic. I also had to forgive you, because I would of never had the ability to move on if I didn't, and I desperately needed to move on." Santana explains "Another reason I had to forgive you was because, I care about you. I was in love with you, Rachel. There's probably a small part of me that always will love you and I just couldn't stay mad at you. It actually hurt to love you so much, but want to slap you at the same time. So, I forgave you. It wasn't easy to forgive you. It took a lot of time and thinking, but I did come around eventually."

"You have no idea how much that means to me." I whisper when I feel a tear running down my cheek "I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Maybe not." Santana says before she cups my face and wipes my tear away with her thumb "But, I'm giving it to you anyway."

"I have something else to tell you." I take a deep breath before I continue "I'm going to back off. No more songs in the lunch room or love notes in your locker. I'm going to stop and let you be happy with Tanya. I've put you through so much pain and you deserve to be happy."

"Are you serious?" I nod "That's very selfless of you, Rachel. I really appreciate it."

"Santana, all I want was for you to be happy. I don't make you happy anymore, so that's why I have to do this. I love you, Santana. I want you to be with someone who does make you happy." This was so much easier to say in my head, because saying it out loud makes it real. I'm really letting Santana go

"You did make me happy, Rachel. Before Puck came into the picture, I was actually the happiest I had ever been in my entire life, and even though you hurt me I don't regret what we had."

"You don't?" I sob

"Of coarse not." She assures me "Rachel, our relationship wasn't all bad. We had some good times too. You were my first girlfriend. You were the first person I ever made love to. You were the first person I held hands with in the hallway. You were the person I was with when I came out to my freinds and family. You were my first love, Rachel. I will never regret that." I feel myself crying much harder than I was before. She's just so perfect, and it took me so long to realize that

"Thank you, Santana." I say before I hug her tightly "Why didn't I realize how perfect you are when you were mine?"

"I'm not perfect, Rach." She says before hugging me back "If I was perfect you wouldn't of cheated on me. If I was perfect, I would of had you all to myself. If I was perfect, you would of never felt like you needed Puck."

"Santana, stop." I place my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eye "You are perfect. I cheated with Noah, because I was an idiot. What I had with Noah was a mistake. I would do anything to take it back if I could. My cheating was not your fault. It was mine."

"You being an idiot is not a valid excuse for chaeting." Santana says with tears pouring down her face "Why did you? Please, be honest with me. What made you cheat on me?"

"San," I sigh "This is suppose to be about us moving on. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"I can never really move on if you don't tell me." Santana says in a stern voice "It will bother me for the rest of my life if I don't know." She has a point. If we want to move on, then we have to be completely honest with each other

"When we first started dating, I didn't like that we had to be a secret. In public you would act like a total stranger. You acted like you didn't notice me at all." I explain "In private, I felt like the most important person in the world to you, but in public I fely like your dirty little secret. Noah wasn't afraid to show me off in public. He would hold my hand or kiss me in the hallway without caring who saw us. He wasn't ashamed of me. He told me he loved me and I believed him. I believed him when he said he would do anything to protect me. I thought I loved him, but our whole relationship was a lie. He didn't love me. He never loved me." I try to even out my breathing as I cry harder "You love me right?"

"Shhh calm down, Rach." Santana says before wrapping her arms around me "Of coarse I did. There will always be a part of me that loves you, Rachel, but it's over for us. I do love you though. I'll always be here for you, even if it's as your friend and nothing else."

"We really did have a good thing going." I sob into her chest "Until Noah."

"Yeah," Santana chuckles "You pucked up." This time I laugh into her chest

"You're such a dork!" I say as we pull apart

"You love it." She smirks

"I love you." It comes out before I have a chance to stop it. Now the two of us are standing here in akward silence. Why did I say that!

"Diva one!" San and I turn our heads to see Kurt and Mercedes "Sorry, just Diva two and Diva three here to check on Diva one." Mercedes says

"Mercy." Kurt whines "I know that we agreed that Rachel was Diva one, but why do I have to be Diva three?"

"Why should you be Diva two, is the better question." Mercedes says

"I have the talent to back up the attitude."

"So do I."

"I have a great fashion sense."

"So do I."

"I'm gay."

"I'm black."

"Yo Kurtcedes!" Santana yells "Do you think you can find somewhere else to argue about who the biggest bitch is?"

"Diva." Kurt corrected "And fine. We just needed to make sure Rachel was alright."

"I'm fine, guys." I assure them and they nod before leaving

"So," Santana starts "Where do we go from here?"

"You said you could be my friend." I say "Do you really want that?"

"Yes." She nods "I want you in my life, Rachel."

"Then, friends it is." I say reaching my hand out for hers

"Friends." She laughs and shakes my hand before the bell rings "I guess we have to go to class, friend."

"I guess we do." I say before the two of us walk out of the classroom to find Tanya standing there

"There you are, babe." She says before kissing Santana "Will you walk me to class."

"Sure." Santana says before taking her girlfriend by the hand and walking down the hall

"Rachel!" I see Kurt and Mercedes waited for me "Are you ok?"

"Tell me I did the right thing." I sob before Kurt and Mercedes both wrap their arms around me

"You did the right thing." Kurt whispers

"We're here for you, Diva."

"I love you guys." I sob as they hold me tighter

"We love you too."

I hope you guys liked it and please review!