THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION
PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.
PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.
EVERY HOUR
ON THE HOUR
EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK
EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR
EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE
EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY
AND SO ON.
IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.
TWIN: Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi, and eventually Cullen.
APPLICANT NAME: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, the one with the Volturi crest and darker cloak than yours. Take that!!
APPLICANT AGE: 17 since 1901.
APPLICANT LOCATION: MY Bella's bedroom, Volterra. Or OUR bedroom, Cullen residence, Forks. Or wherever MY darling wants to be.
DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: YES!! AND IT'S HIGHER THAN YOURS!!! Son of Carlisle Cullen who is head of the Cullen Clan, Adoptive family member of the VOLTURI, that's ARO, MARCUS AND CAIUS to you! And I have a darker cloak than you! HAH!
WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: I will do whatever my darling wants me to do, and you can't stop me because my cloak is darker than yours! HAH!
CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: What kind of question is this? Helloooooo! Family member of the VOLTURI!!
HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Oh, yes. And let me tell you, it was amazing. *Smirks evilly.*
MORE THAN ONCE?: Not just more than once. At least once a day. At least.
PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.
1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND
ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU
NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE
ISN'T ABOUT YOU.
2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.
YOU…
C) DRESS UP AS CINDERELLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST
IMPERSONATION
3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU
IMMENSELY. YOU…
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN
EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)
4. I
DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE
ANYONE ELSE. YOU…
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO
ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.
5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS Rome
and Juliet, second edition.
6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS Wuthering
Heights, by Charlotte Bronte
7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS Emmett.
8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND
IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT,
JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY. (and it would upset my darling!)
9.
FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS
APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR
NICO ONE)
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX
SHITLESS
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS
C)
LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP
I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.
